Lies
Regulus
No. No. No. That was not at all what Regulus wanted to happen. It was all wrong. Regulus couldn’t breathe. He stood there, dumb and unable to move, and just watched his brother walk straight out the door. Regulus had not expected it to happen, he didn’t know where Sirius lived, or if he was even alive. He thought he was dead. Regulus had mourned his brother, and now he had seen him again. Part of his brain told him he had literally just talked to a ghost, another part of his brain spoke with reason- Sirius was alive. His mother had been wrong, or she had lied about his death. Only their mother would be that evil.
Regulus was not expecting Sirius to come up and talk to him. He thought Sirius was a convincing lookalike. When the show ended Remus had come over to Regulus and whispered, “Are you alright? You look like shit.”
“I’m fine,” he mumbled. They both knew Reg was lying, but Remus had simply nodded his head. He had learned to give Regulus time.
Regulus had turned his back to the audience and they started to disperse, and he started to put up his equipment. He just wanted the night to end so he could go home and pretend nothing had happened.
The lyrics to their last song were still bouncing around in his head when someone suddenly spoke.
“Hey, I’ve been to a couple of your shows…” The voice said.
Regulus instantly straightened up, as if he was electrocuted, and a whole shock ran through his body. His ears were ringing. He knew that voice. How could he ever think he could forget it? He kept talking but Regulus couldn’t process a single word he was saying. He slowly turned around and without meaning to, let out a curse.
“Shit,” When Regulus first saw his brother in the crowd, he was shocked and hurt but didn’t actually think it was Sirius Black. After all, Regulus had been seeing Sirius all his life. Popping up in the streets, movie theaters, and in crowds. Of course, these people were not Sirius. Regulus knew that. He was told it was normal for people who have lost someone. Remus had confided in him that he used to see his mom around for years after she died. He assumed it would stop at some point, but it never did.
But now, there was no denying it. This boy, or man now, was really, truly, his brother. His brother whom he hated, and loved, and mourned, and cried for. He looked great too. His hair had finally grown out, and he had piercings and tattoos that would have caused many fights with their mother. And he looked like a Black. He had grown into the family genetics.
Regulus thought for an instant that this was it. Things were about to change for the better. He almost reached out to touch Sirius. But then- fear hit him. Deep and guttural. He couldn’t. Sirius hated him. Didn’t he?
Regulus put on a mask of indifference quickly. Hopefully, Sirius hadn’t been able to read his emotions.
“You scared me, sorry,” Regulus tried to smile, but he could barely manage it. If this conversation lasted any longer Regulus thought he might pass out. He still couldn't catch his breath.
“I’m Sirius.”
There it was. It couldn’t be denied any longer. Who else would have that name, who else would look like him? Suddenly, a strange feeling came over Regulus. He wanted to punch Sirius in the face. Regulus wasn't a violent person, he had been in a few fights and lost. He never thought that using fear and fists was the right way to do things. But at this moment, Regulus wanted to hurt Sirius. Maybe Regulus hated Sirius too.
Remus suddenly appeared behind Regulus looking concerned. Regulus couldn’t focus on anything he was saying either. Nothing felt real. He had to get out. He couldn’t take it any longer. It was hurting him too much. Regulus tried to dismiss Sirius and end the conversation. Looking at Sirius was like looking directly into the sun.
Sirius took a breath and started, “I’m sorry if this is weird, but I feel like I know you.”
Regulus looked into his brother’s face, shrugged apologetically, and lied, “Sorry, I don’t think we have met before.
And that was that. Regulus let him leave. Again. Just like when they were kids. The second the door shut behind his dark hair, Regulus ran to the bathroom and threw up.
He couldn’t breathe, he couldn’t do anything. He thought maybe that he might die.
This was not the plan. Regulus had stayed up many nights, thinking about what he would say to Sirius if he ever got the chance. Now that he had, he just added another regret to the long list of mistakes he had made.
“Reg, It’s me. Can I come in?” Remus called knocking on the bathroom door.
Regulus, who was sitting on the floor, despite how disgusting it had to be, reached up and unlocked the door.
“Hey,” Remus said, looking down at him, “I brought you some water.”
Remus: always the caretaker. Regulus accepted the water but didn't say anything.
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“No.”
“Do I need to beat someone up for you? Cause I will,” Remus was smirking now.
“Ha ha,” Regulus smiled at that. A fight is how Remus and Regulus had met all those years ago. “I'm okay, just give me a second. I'll be out soon.”
Remus nodded and looked like he was about to say more, but just touched Regulus’ shoulder lightly for a moment, and then closed the door as he left.
Regulus took a few deep breaths and spun his ring around his finger. Different ideas and plans spun through his head, but he couldn’t decide on anything. He had just seen his brother, for the first time in almost seven years. There were so many unanswered questions. Regulus didn’t know where to start.
The lyrics he wrote about the last night he saw Sirius swam around in his mind- ‘With tears in my eyes I begged you to stay, you said “hey man I love you but no fucking way.”’
Sirius had left him.
Regulus emerged from the bathroom a few minutes later. He just wanted to go home. He scanned the room for Remus and spotted him in a very animated conversation with Marlene.
“Reg!” Marlene called as he approached his bandmates.
“Look at this,” Remus said, holding out his phone.
Only, it wasn't Remus' phone that was being thrust in his face.
“What am I looking at? I don’t get it.”
“That guy. The one you were talking to after the show-”
“The one Remus is in love with,” Marlene interjected.
Regulus had been reaching for the phone to steady it, to see what he was being shown, but as what Marlene said sunk in, Regulus dropped his hands quickly. He did not want to see, or touch anything of Sirius’. He couldn’t
“He left it here,” Remus said with a smirk.
“I think it's a sign, don’t ya Reg?” Marlene asked.
“How do you even know it’s his?” Regulus was hoping the two were mistaken.
Remus held the phone and clicked the ‘on’ button. The lock screen glowed bright up into Regulus' face. And yes. There was no denying that it was Sirius’ phone. After all, the picture was Sirius sitting on a motorcycle, wearing a leather jacket, with his hair blowing behind him. His friend who accompanied him to the bar, stood right next to the bike, smiling too. They looked happy.
As they were all peering at the phone, it started to vibrate. As if they had summoned it. Sirius was getting a call. Well, technically they were getting a call. The caller ID showed a little picture of Sirius’ friend and the name “Prongs.”
“Fuck!” Remus yelped, passing the phone to Regulus.
“Hell no!” Regulus said and tossed the phone to Marlene.
“God, what babies.”
Regulus stared in horror as Marlene tapped the phone to answer and held it up to her ear.
“Hello?”