Chapter One
SIRIUS
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Sirius Black was 15 the first time he killed somebody.
He remembers it perfectly. The blood that quickly spilled from the lifeless body and the blood soaking his shoes, his clothes, his hands, his soul. He remembers being unable to move. Unable to process what he had just done.
He remembers the muffled quality of everything around him right after he had pulled the trigger. He had shot at targets before, but never something living. Never at a person.
He remembers his father yelling at him. He remembers not being able to hear him. He remembers being unable to take his eyes off of the body no matter how badly he wanted to.
He remembers being dragged out of the building by his father. He remembers the beating he was given for freezing at the wrong moment. He remembers being too numb to care. He remembers thinking that he deserved it.
He remembers that as soon as his parents left him alone, he ran to his bathroom and threw up. He couldn’t stomach anything. He couldn’t stomach himself. He remembers his little brother, Regulus, only 14 years old, coming into the bathroom and holding his hair out of his face.
But most of all, he remembers the mind-numbing pain he felt. He remembers feeling like he was reborn as a new person. He doesn’t like the person he is now. A murderer. A killer. A criminal. He hates it.
Sometimes a voice in the back of his head will try and tell him it isn’t his fault. His parents forced him. They turned him into the killer he is now. But he knows it isn’t true. He pulled the trigger. He made that choice. He pulled the trigger. He is a killer. He pulled the trigger. He is a murderer. He pulled the trigger. He is a terrible person. He pulled the trigger. He is a disgusting creature. He pulled the trigger. He doesn’t deserve to live. He pulled the trigger.
It’s been 6 years since his first kill. It hadn’t been his last, not at all. He’s killed hundreds since that day. It makes him feel sick when he thinks about it. He hasn’t slept well, not since his hands became dark and stained with blood.
Now he was sitting in front of his mother, receiving orders to kill yet another person who has somehow gotten in the way of his parents plans. He feels like throwing up already. No matter how many times he does this, it never gets any better.
“Now,” Walburga said in a cold tone. She was always so cold. Never warm the way a mother should be towards her children. Walburga straightened the papers sitting in front of her and pushed them towards Sirius. He didn’t look down. He continued staring into his mother’s cold eyes. She began talking again. Always straight to the point. She never stopped to do “unimportant” things like being there emotionally for her children. “He’s 21. Goes to college at the University College London,” Fuck. “But he’s back home for the summer. It’s my understanding he’s staying at a friend’s house,” He sounds like a normal guy. How is Sirius supposed to do this. “And he has been working on the black market as a hitman since he was 17.” Oh.
Sirius looks down at the stack of papers in front of him for the first time. The name printed neatly in black ink at the top of the first page read: Remus Lupin.
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REMUS
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His friend's laughter echoes throughout the small room.
They were back for the summer from college, and they decided to spend as much time together as possible. His friends, James Potter, Lily Evans, Peter Pettigrew, Mary MacDonald, and Marlene Mckinnon were sat in a small sitting room in James’ parents' home. Remus, James and Peter were sat on one couch, while Lily, Marlene, and Mary were stationed on the couch across from them.
They were all simply talking, telling jokes, laughing, and living. They were living, and they were helping each other do it.
During a particularly heated argument over the best ice cream flavor, Euphemia, or Effie as she begs everyone to call her, pokes her head into the room, smiling warmly at the group. “Hi everyone!” she greets.
A chorus of warm greetings and happy smiles meet the lovely woman in the doorway. Effie has always just had a way of making you feel happy. She could fix any sour mood.
Effie turned towards James, her son. “Hola mi amor, ustedes quieren una merienda?”
“No mamá, estamos bien, gracias.” he answers as everyone in the room nods along, pretending they know what the pair are saying.
“Okay, deja me saber si quieren algo.”
“Okay, te quiero mucho mamá.”
“Igual mijo,” Effie turns to address the group. “Goodbye everyone, I hope you’re having a good time.”
Remus speaks up as he smiles at the wonderful woman in front of him, who has always made sure all of James’ friends had a safe space to live and grow. “We are, thank you Effie.” Everyone nods their heads in agreement.
Effie smiles at them all one more time before she leaves the room, closing the door behind her.
“What just happened?” Peter asks after a few seconds of silence.
James turns towards him. “Oh, don’t worry. She was just asking if we wanted any snacks, and I said no.”
Marlene gasped dramatically. “JAMES FLEAMONT POTTER, PLEASE TELL ME YOU DID NO SUCH THING! YOU DENIED THE OPPORTUNTIY FOR FOOD! PERPOSTROUS!” She screeched.
James quickly held his hands up by his head. “Sorry, sorry! I didn’t think you guys were hungry!”
“Oh, I don’t know, maybe ask next time?” Marlene continued in a slightly lower voice.
James nodded his head quickly. “Of course, of course, I will never make this mistake again.”
Marlene nodded sharply. “You better not.”
Remus shakes with silent laughter at this ridiculous sequence of events. His friends are oh so dramatic, but he secretly loves it (and them).
After the silly display, the group fell into a comfortable silence. Nothing much was very awkward between them. They are just, connected Remus supposes. He thinks that might not be the right word, but it's difficult to describe. They just get each other.
After a few minutes of just enjoying each other’s company, Remus suddenly remembers something Lily had mentioned over the group chat. “Lily, aren’t you talking to someone right now? How’s that going?”
Lily’s face quickly becomes drenched in a deep crimson blush, and she ducks her head as she begins to talk, her silky ginger curls falling into her face. “I-I don’t know. We’ve been texting and calling a lot recently,” and then, so quietly Remus had to strain his ears to hear what she was saying, she added, “and we are going on a date Saturday night.”
“Lily that’s amazing! I’m so glad. You deserve someone who makes you happy.” Remus smiles at her. They have always been incredibly close. He would easily say that her and James are his closest friends.
“This Saturday! Holy shit what time? I have to come over before and pick out your outfit. We all know I have the best style.” Mary gaped at Lily.
“We know you do. Thank you, Mary, really.” Lily says, blush a slightly lighter pink but still very much there.
“Lily, I cannot contain myself! What’s her name!” James asked excitedly. It’s nice to see James so happy for Lily, as they dated back in grade 11.
Lily looks towards him, a smile steadily creeping onto her face. “Her name is Pandora.”
“Oh, that’s so pretty. You really like her, don’t you Lily?” Peter questioned quietly.
“Yea. Yea, I think I do.” Lily replied sheepishly.
Everyone smiled at her and they sat quietly for a few minutes, basking in the joy of their friend slowly finding love.
Eventually the silence is broken however by a screech of pure joy.
Remus flinches back at the sudden loud noise.
“Jesus Marls what the fuck was that!” Mary says, swotting Marlene on the arm.
“SHE POSTED ME! SHE POSTED ME! SHE FUCKING POSTED ME ON HER INSTAGRAM STORY! AAAGGGHHHHHHHHH!” Marlene yelled.
“Jeez Marls, do me a favor and calm down for a second. Who posted you?” James asked with his ears covered by the palms of his hands.
“DORCAS! DORCAS FUCKING POSTED ME!” Marlene continued to scream.
Peter rolled his eyes. “Oh, here we go.” Everyone snickered in agreement. Marlene could go on hour long rants about how amazing her girlfriend, Dorcas Meadowes, is. They all pretend to be annoyed by it, but they are all secretly glad that she has found her person.
“Oh, she’s just so amazing and wonderful and I think I might love her…” Marlene starts while kicking her feet in the air.
As Marlene, continues on her tangent about how amazing her girlfriend is while everyone rolls their eyes and complain playfully, Remus feels his phone buzzing in his pocket. Upon checking, he realizes, nope, it's not his phone. It his flip phone. His work phone.
Shit.
“Sorry. I have to take this. Work.” Remus says quickly as he gets up from his spot on the couch.
“Ughhhh Remuuuus! Please don’t leave me with these idiots. I need at least one person here who is capable of having an intelligent conversation.” Lily cried as Remus made his way to the door.
“Sorry Lily. You’ll survive without me. I’ll be five minutes. Ten tops.” he threw out the last words right as he closed the door behind him.
He walked quickly down the hallway until he reached the door to the backyard, phone still buzzing in his hand. As soon as the glass doored clicked shut behind him, he flipped his phone opened. No caller id. Typical. He answered the call.
“Hello?” Remus questioned when the other line stayed quiet. Maybe it was just a prank call.
“Remus Lupin?” a gravelly voice answered. Fuck. Not a prank call.
“Yup. That’s me.”
“Good. Let’s not jump around why I’m really calling. We both know.”
Remus sighed. They did in fact both know. Remus had been doing this for 4 years.
“Who?” Remus questioned coldly. He hated this job. Though, he doesn’t really have a choice anymore. And the money is really good.
“21 years old. He works as an assassin for his family. Criminals the whole lot of them. They hold a lot of power. I’ve already sent you his address, places he often spends time, and other research I have collected. I intend to make your job easier.”
Oh good. A criminal. Remus always has an easier time killing people who have done great wrongs. It makes the murder seem slightly more justified. He thinks that must be hypocritical due to the large number of people he has killed. But he has never claimed to be a good person either. He is a monster. He knows that for a fact.
“Name?” Remus asks.
“I’m trusting you Remus. I need him dead. I chose you because you are the top hitman on the market. I’m begging you to prove it to me.”
Hitman. Remus always hated that word. It feels wrong. But then again, it is the word that most accurately describes what he is. He kills people for money. He has never wanted to, per say, but it was simply his only option. He needed money. His mother was sick. She had cancer. She needed treatment. His father had been laid off. They had no money. So, he found a way to make money. And he was good at it.
Once he started, he knew he wouldn’t be able to stop. It was too dangerous. So, he kept working, even after the treatment failed and his mother passed. Even after his father finally found a job. The money is still nice. Helps him pay for college and treat his friends every once in a while.
His friends. He loves his friends. They are so important to him. He always felt slightly distant with his family, but his friends. His friends were always there. And he was lying to them. Of course they didn’t know what his real job was. That would be too…problematic. So, he lies and lies and lies.
“Name?” Remus asks far more harshly. He was getting annoyed. For someone who wanted to get to the point, this man seemed set on making it take as long a possible for Remus to find out who he had to murder.
“His name is Sirius Black.”