Bucky's Soul Stone Diary, days 1 through 17
Rec 001: The following recordings have been made by I, James Bucanon Barnes, or Bucky for my friends. The listener is not allowed to call me Bucky. These are the reports of what has partaken in our deaths so far. They have been recorded in my electronic vibranium arm. The day is the first in what the sorcerer has called the soul stone. We seem to have found ourselves in a wide expanse of yellow, with floating islands in it. Spider Child is contemplating what would happen if he jumped off of one of the islands and into the yellow below. The sorcerer is telling him not to, as if the child would actually do that. Wait, child, what are you… noooooooo!
Rec 02: The day is still the first in the soul stone. The Spider Child jumped off of one of the islands to test his theory. He has found that the void is very cold, and it freezes up your blood in your veins. He was smart enough to latch one of his webs to an island though and pulled himself up again. He is now very reserved and quiet. The dumb Peter is currently kicking pebbles into the void, every time muttering something that sounds like: this is for granola. I suppose he likes granola bars.
Rec 003: It is the second day in the soul stone. Spider Child went up to me and introduced himself by his civilian name, though I already knew it. I introduced myself as well, he is now allowed to call me Bucky. I have also informed the others that whoever tries to hurt him will be flung into the void. The dumb Peter suggested it would do no harm since we are dead anyway. The sorcerer started contemplating if one could die whilst already dead. Sam is having a mental breakdown, and is crying about not wanting to be dead. The red haired magic girl is trying to get him to calm down again.
Rec 004: It is the third day in the soul stone. Spider Child has taught me how to use his web-shooters to swing from island to island. Since we are dead, they never run out. In turn I taught him how to stab people. He much appreciated that skill, and is trying it out on a few rocks.
Rec 005: It is the fourth day in the soul stone and we have met more of our friends. Amongst them is T’Challa, Princess Shuri and a weird alien named Mantis. Shuri and smart Peter have hit off quite well, and are currently discussing how to build a functioning lightsabre. I do not know what that is, except for that others think it is dangerous and are trying to demotivate them from doing so.
Rec 006: Its is the fifth day. We have been joined by a tree alien, a weird alien and a SHIELD agent named Hill. A lightsabre is a mythical weapon used to cut through flesh. I have told Smart Peter and Shuri that they can build one, as long as they don’t use it on each other. Now Shuri’s brother refuses to talk to me out of spite.
Rec 007: It is the sixth day, the tree alien and Spider Child have hit it off, though the latter doesn’t understand a word the first is saying. He is now getting the alien Mantis to teach him how to speak to the tree. He now greets me by saying: I am Groot. To which the Mantis, tree-alien, weird-alien and dumb Peter all applauded. I told him “I am Groot” back, and they all gasped. I think I said the wrong thing.
Rec 008: It is the 7th day, the dumb Peter is complaining about he is never hungry. Spider Child pointed out that it is for the best, since there seem to be no toilets in the soul stone. The sorcerer is doing sorcerer things. T’Challa left to try to get a giant space dog under control. Spider Child offered his help, but was blown off. Instead, he has now started teaching me how to play UNO Flip.
Rec 009: I am now an expert at UNO Flip and can beat anybody but Peter. The others now refuse to play with me.
Rec 010: The day is the 8th in the soul stone. More than a week has passed and people are starting to get bored. The dumb Peter is sharing his taste in music, smart Peter is trying to find a pillow to shove over his ears to drown out the noise.
Rec 011: The day is the 9th in the soul stone. Dumb Peter’s music playlist has still not run out. When magic girl asked him about how long it would still last, he proudly answered that it would still last another two days. Spider Child and I have decided to go on holiday to a faraway soul stone island and are about to depart.
Rec 012: We have made it to another large island where we do not need to listen to dumb Peter’s bad music taste.
Honestly a disgrace to humanity.
Quite right Pete, it is. Furthermore, it is nice and spacey here.
Ha, good one.
Thanks. We are however joined by an elderly lady named Margaret. I don’t think Margaret wants us to be here.
Rec 013: My assumptions were correct. Margaret seized her walking stick and chased us off of the island. We have now found refuge on a new one, together with shape shifting demons. They’re called skrulls, they’re not demons.
Shape Shifting Skrulls then. They keep transforming into me and mocking me. I believe we should leave soon.
What, no!!! I like them!
Hello, My name is Peter Parker! What’s your name?
Okay, let’s leave please.
Agreed.
Rec 014: It is the 10th day in the soul stone. Magic girl has now joined us on our island of solitude.
Stop calling me magic girl.
Fine, Maximoff has joined our island of solitude and then renamed it the island of the sane. I would complain but its a fitting name.
Dude, why are you keeping that diary?
It's not a diary, Peter.
You are telling the recording everything that is happening: that's a diary.
No, it's a report.
Hey guys! Also, that's a diary.
See! Shuri agrees with me, also hi, come to join the island of the sane?
Yep, Quill's still blasting the music. He says the songs will run out in a day.
Rec 015: This is the last day we will spend on the island of the sanely solitude. It's is now the 11th day in the soul stone. The sorcerer has now also joined us, complaining about how training generations of sorcerers didn't even prepare him for this. T'Challa too, has returned, and quickly sought sancuary with us. The Falcon, according to him, seems to be enjoying dumb Peter's taste in music. So do the Mantis, Drax and the tree.
Rec 016: This day is the 12th in the soul stone. We have returned to the main island, where thankfully Dumb Peter's playlist has ended.
What? You didn't like my playlist?
No one did.
Peter did, didn't you?
No, I suffered.
None of you have good taste!
As I was saying: the playlist has ended and peace has returned slightly. The Spider Child put up his own song, without lyrics. The song is Despacito and the tree alien is singing 'I am Groot.' to the lyrics of it.
Despacito is like the best song ever.
No, it's not, Peter.
Mr Strange, no offence: but you're like really old and don't have really good taste in music.
I agree with Strange: Despacito sucks.
See! Quill is agreeing with you about music. Point in case!
Rec 017: The 13th day in the soul stone has arrived. Pete and Shuri have come to the realisation that they do not have the materials on them to make lightsabres, to which T'Challa reacted with thank goodness. They now have him wrestled to the ground and refuse to let him go, using him as a sofa as Pete projects a marvel movie from his suit onto a nearby boulder. Everyone is now watching it, except for Wanda, who seems to be engrossed in juggeling around knives which I gave her. I think I might need to ask them back from her.
Rec 018: It is teh 14th day and everything is calm. Spider Child has decided to figure out the reason behind each superhero's name. I can't detect any animosity between peopl...
But why a falcon? Why not... let's say... an ostrich?
Correction: Sam Wilson is about to murder a minor, I have go.
Rec 019: Wanda has managed to calm Wilson down, who is still grumbeling at Pete's questions. Peter continued to ask Dumb Peter why he chose his name and now his view of Dumb Peter has rissen exponentially. Why, I cannot say, something about a god or whatnot. T'Challa, I forgot to mention, has tamed the space puppy, and is now riding it like a horse.
Rec 020: It is the 15th day in the soul stone, and Peter has found a new form of entertainment, which he calls "The Senseless Argument Game." Care to explain the rules to the recording, Pete?
Sure: you have two people who have 30 minutes to win an argument from the other. You take turns in who takes on the dumb point of view. Right now I am judging between Shuri and Sam as they discuss whether cereal is a soup. Shuri is for cereal being a soup, and Sam is against.
If cereal were a soup, there would be vegetables in it.
Chicken soup doesn't always have vegetables in it, does that make is cereal according to you then Sam?
Well, Soup is water-based, Cereal is milk-based.
Not true: there is water in milk.
There is water in almost everything, Shuri!
So you're saying that everything is soup, interesting point of view.
What?
Mr Wilson, do you have anything you can bring in against that? You have 10 seconds. 10....9.....8....7....6....5...4....3...2....1...and this round was won by Princess Shuri!
Rec 021: It is the 16th day in the soul stone. The Senseless Argument Game has two all time champs, them being Shuri and Peter. Even when they have to take the dumb side of the argument, they still seem to win. When going up against each other they end in a draw. I have partaken once in these games, and had to argue that cardboard was not edible. Apparently that was supposed to be the smart side of the argument, which I do not understand since cardboard is edible.
Rec 022: It is the 17th day in the soul stone. Peter has decided to steal T'Challa's space puppy. He has done so succesfully and is now flying off with it.
Bucky, do something!
No.
Oh come on!!!! White People are so annoying!
Hey brother, that's slightly racist don't you think?!
Shut up, Shuri!
Peter is now no longer visible to the naked eye: he has successfully escaped with the space pupppy. The sorcerer is now flying after him, not to bring him back, but because T'Challa would never let us ride it and we all want to now. He has taken Sam, Mantis, Drax, and Tree-Alien with him. Wanda is about to take Dumb Peter and I with her to go ride the space puppy.
Why do you insist on calling me dumb Peter?
Peter told me what you told him when you two met: that was dumb.
I don't remember me saying anything dumb.
Peter said: no way, you're Peter too? Then you answered: No, I came first, so I'm Peter One, You're Peter Two.
So?
See: that's why you're Dumb Peter, and he's Smart Peter.