Avengers Groupchat Part I
***In the Avengers Groupchat***
Hawkeye: FYI, I'm adding Spider-Man to the group chat.
Spider-Man: *sends meme you can see at the top of the chapter,*
haha. Am I right
Rhodey: This group chat is for emergencies!
Wanda: What is wrong with you?!
Spider-Man: All right not a fun group chat. That one's on me.
Scott:I'll add you to the meme thread.
It's just been me so far
but there's some real bangers in there.
***Spider-Man joined Avengers Meme Thread***
Spider-Man: Wow mr Lang theyres some really good ones here!
Scott: Thanks and its Scott kid
***Tony joined Avengers Meme Thread***
Tony: Wow, these suck
Spider-Man: Then why did you joing mr stark?
Tony: FOR THE MILLIONTH TIME: ITS TONY!!! >:( and also, its spelled join, not joing
Spider-Man: We cant all tupe from our fancy smanchy laptops mr stark
Tony: Then buy one
Spider-Man: ...
Scott: Rude
Tony: What, how was that rude?
Scott: u cant just tell poor ppl to go buy a laptop tony
Tony: ...
How much money do you have Spidey?
Spider-Man: Uhh... asking about someone's finacial stability is also considered rude.
ask mr rogers, he'll agree with me
Scott: also fr, tony, have you seen his suit?
Obviously not the richest
Spider-Man: ehh, I make due.
After all: it works and that's what matters.
Also I added my own AI to it called Karen
Tony: why did you call her that?
Scott: wait lemme guess.
is she a karen?
Spider-Man: yep
Tony: Wait, what's a Karen?
Spider-Man: Mr Stark, are you sure you werent the one froze in ice for eighty yers?
Scott: bahahaha
oh here:
Spider-Man: haha, fr though
Tony: Wait, is that making fun of me, or complementing me?
Spider-Man: *cough, cough* furhher proof that tony stark is a robot.
Scott: haha lol, oh, gtg, my wife is calling me
Spider-Man: Tell her hi from me!
Scott: will do
Spider-Man: gtg as well to work
***Tony added Steve Rogers to the groupchat***
Tony: ha! told you he was an adult and not a teenager.
Steve: Dear Tony,
Please remove me from this, I don't want to see memes,
Sincerely,
Steve
Tony: Ha Scott and Spidey! Still think I'm old after seeing that? (delivered at 10:08 am)
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Peter walked into the lobby at Stark Industries at 10:30 that morning, smiling as he saw his favourite receptionist: Janet. She always wore a smile on her face and seemed to care about every single person that entered.
'Morning, Peter!' she called.
'Morning, Janet!' he called back, swiping his level 10 access card by the elevator and stepping in.
'Good morning Mr Parker, shall I inform Master Stark that you have arrived?' FRIDAY's voice asked, filtering from the ceiling.
'Sure Friday, how was your week?' Peter answered, immediately wishing he could stop himself from talking sometimes: he just asked an AI how her week was.
FRIDAY however didn't seem to mind: 'I have caught several funny interactions with the Avengers on camera where they were arguing whether cereal was soup or not.' she informed him with somewhat of a humorous tone in her voice, 'I saved them all to the Funny Avengers folder: so my week was nice. How about you Peter?'
'That's nice, technically cereal is a soup.' Peter mused, mostly to himself, 'And my week was fine FRIDAY.' he answered her question with a smile.
'Tony says you are fired because you said that technically cereal is a soup.' FRIDAY informed him as Peter laughed, and fished his phone out of his pocket, checking the groupchat to find several messages he hadn't read yet:
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***in the groupchat***
Spider-Man: with all due respect mister stark ur still old
tho mister rogers acst older than you
also mister rogers when you text you dont need to use dear and sincerely
we can see by your username that you said it.
oh and here's a meme because that is the primary purpose of this chat:
I think Scott would like this one :)
Scott: oh my, was that really his face when that happened.
I showed it to Hope and she rolled on the floor in laughter
wait, we need to show the others:
***Scott added Clint, Nat, Bucky, Sam and Bruce to the groupchat***
Bucky: Haha, that's actually funny
Sam: hihi he looks like he had three nightmares at the same time
Nat: This is now my wallpaper
Tony: SPIDEY! How did you get this footage
Spider-Man: Oh no biggie just hacked into FRIDAY and into your suit
Tony: I have so many questions
Bruce: mee too
Clint: oh my goodness teach me how to hack into tonys suit
pleaasasssee
I neeeeedd too knowwwww
Spider-Man: sure, ill teach u next time we meet up :)
Tony: Please buy a laptop so you can type properly and use punctuation
Steve: Dear Spider-Man,
Please watch your spelling and punctuation
The same goes for the rest of you,
Sincerely,
Steve Rogers
Scott: In this whole group. u 2 r the only ones who care abt spelling ,punctuation and grammer.
Tony the only people who use laptops to text r old people
Spider-Man: exactly u should loosen up.
oh gtg, im at the office
cya
Everyone except Tony and Steve: cya!
Steve: Dear Spider-Man,
It was nice talking to you
please mind your spelling, grammer, punctuation and slang though,
Sincerely yours,
Steve Rogers
Tony: what does cya mean?
Also steve: you are so old
Nat: ur both old
Tony: Whatever, I need to go: my personal intern is here
Clint: Since when do you have one of those
Tony: Since I couldn't let this 16-year-olds potential and genius go to waste
Scott: did he just really put hyphens in between 16 years and old?
Bruce: For the record: if anyone else of you guys does that
I will rush over to where you are because I think you got a heartattack
or a stroke
Tony: ...
You guys need to get a life
Scott: who wants more people to be added to bully Tony
Everyone except Tony and Steve: yessss!
***Scott added Wanda, Pietro, Pepper, Nick Fury, Agent Hill and Phil Coulson***
Scott: FYI, this is make fun of Tony groupchat
Nick: I feel its about time you guys made a group chat for that
Agent Hill: Hey Spider-Man, ever considered joining SHIELD?
We could really use a hacker like you.
Phil Coulson: Will you sign my Spider-Man cards?
Nick: Seriously, Coulson?
Phil Coulson: ...
So Spider-Man, will you sign them?
Wanda: Spider-Man, can you hack into Rhodey's suit from when I told him cereal was soup?
He had his helmet on so I couldnt see his expression
I need to know!
Pietro: Ooh, and into SHIELD to find out where the best ice-cream can be bought? (Delivered 10:36)
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Peter walked into Tony's lab, shouting a cheery: 'Good morning Mister Stark.' Towards the inventor, who replied similarly, gesturing him over to work on a equation.
They worked until 1 in the afternoon, by which time Peter was dying from hunger. Determined not to let Tony know though: him having a faster metabolism would be slightly suspicious one could say.
FRIDAY, however, had other plans and spoke up, dimming the music blaring through the lab: 'Mr Stark, it would be suggested to take lunch. Mister Parker seems to be very hungry.'
'Dang it FRIDAY.' Peter hissed under his breath, about to deny the fact when Tony turned to him, his eyebrows furrowed:
'Why didn't you tell me so kid?' he asked, concern lacing his voice.
'Oh, I-I-I didn't want to be a bother mr Stark.' Peter stuttered out, his cheeks flushing red.
Tony rolled his eyes: 'Kid, you could never be a bother. Let's go to the common room and see what the others ordered for lunch.' Peter nodded quickly, following Tony out of the lab, his cheeks still slightly flushed.
***Time skip brought to you by my last two living braincells***
Peter and Tony walked into the common room to find Thor, Rhodey, Loki, Scott, Clint, Nat, Bucky, Sam, Wanda, Pietro and Pepper already seated around the table, pizza strewn across it.
Natasha turned the second Tony strode in with Peter: 'Who is that?' she asked innocently, fingering her knives, as the other avengers scrambled to put their masks on.
Peter laughed at their antics:' Hi, I'm Peter Parker, Mr Stark's personal intern.' he introduced himself, then turning to the avengers who had quickly put on their masks: 'No need for that, I already know all of your secret identities.'
'Wait, how?' Scott asked, flipping his mask open.
'Ha, got you!' Peter cried, pointing, 'I didn't, you just revealed it to me!'
Scott cursed to be immediately reprimanded by Steve. Tony chuckled: 'Don't worry Scott: he's joking. He does know your secret identity.'
'How?' Rhodey asked, seemingly none too amused.
'I hacked into SHIELD.' Peter remarked, shrugging his shoulders like it was nothing, whilst Clint spat out his drink in surprise.
Tony grinned from ear to ear, 'So, officialy, everyone: meet Peter Parker. Your average teenage menace.' he cried dramatically as Peter bowed, a contagious grin on his face, making the Avengers smile.
At that moment, Nick Fury, Agent Hill and Phil Coulson walked in, the first raising his eyebrows at the sight of Peter, but Natasha turned to him to clarrify:
'Apparently he is a menace who hacked into SHIELD and found out our secret identities. He also happens to be Stark's personal intern. And I'm pretty sure Scott's new nemesis.'
Peter laughed at that comment, as did Scott, who quickly shifted to the side on the bench he was sitting on, making room for Peter.
Nick, Hill and Phil also seated themselves, and soon Bruce joined as well, making Peter gape, gaining a grumble from Clint:
'Seriously, you're all chill about meeting us, but you just have to gape at Bruce?! Unfair!'
Bruce blushed and laughed, stepping forward, his hand extended: 'Bruce Banner, and you are?'
'Well, according to Tony,' Peter noted smugly, having already gathered his composure again: 'his personal intern and your average teenage menace.' Bruce laughed at the last part:
'What did you do to the poor man?'
'You'll never know.' Peter answered mysteriously, making Tony shift uncomfortably, asking Nat whether the kid was lying or not. Nat, who liked chaos, told him no, though it was obvious Peter had nothing planned.
'I read your books on Gamma radiation.' Peter said nervously, 'I really loved them!'
'Wait, when was that?' Bruce asked, intrigued.
'When I was twelve.' Peter answered with a shrug, making Bucky gape.
'And you understood it?!' Bruce asked incredulously.
'Uh yeah... of course some of the terms were hard to understand, but nothing a dictionary couldn't help with.' Petere answered blushing. Bruce just gaped, then turned to Tony:
'How much to convince you to make the kid my personal intern?'
'Nuh-uh, never happening.' Tony said with a laugh, digging into his pizza.
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(sent at 17:56)
Spider-Man: Yeah I did, Agent Hill, but I am quite happy with the job I have right now.
Besides its more fun to hack into Shield when u dont work there
Once you work there there is not point to it anymore
Tho if u ever need help hacking into hydra u can give me a call:)
And to mister Coulson: I'd love to, bring them to me sometime and I will
also out of interest
what are spiderman cards?
For Wanda, here you go, I changed it into a meme for you as well:
and Pietro sure:
the best ice-cream can be found in Holland in Noord Holland
In the city called Julianadorp go to De Schepper
They have the best icecream there
Oh and Wanda, this was him an hour after you said that:
I think you might've given him an existential ciriss
Pietro: thanks! (sent 17:57)
u were right this is the best icecream ever! (sent 17:58)
anyoen want me to bring some back for them
Wanda: yes pleaseeeee also thanks Spidey
I now have a new wallpaper :)
Pepper: some for Morgan and I as well please Pietro
Also who decided to start making fun of Tony?
Spider-Man: that may have been Scott and I
Pepper: ...
Okay, but don't make my husband cry
Tony: Pepper!
You were supposed to make them stop
not encourage them
Pepper: Sorry not sorry
Tony: Anyway: I need help
Bucky: Don't worry Stark, we were aware of that for some time
Sam: In case you were interested: I was a therapist when I was serving in the army
Spider-Man: My advice is: deal with it like a grown man
Rhodey is now online
Rhodey: How did you get those pictures?!
Spider-Man: I thought we already dealt with the fact that I can hack?
Tony: *in response to Peter* you know Spider-Man, you are part of the problem
also Rhodey texts using a laptop as well
Spider-Man: So Rhodey is just as ancient as you and Capsicle?
Steve: Dear Spider-Man,
Could you please not call me Capsicle,
Sincerely Yours,
Steve Rogers
Nat: Do your prefer Smithsonian?
Steve: Dear everyone,
Capsicle is fine,
Sincerely,
Steve Rogers
Rhodey: one: I'm not ancient, I'm just an adult, unlike all of you idiots
Secondly: Wanda, change your wallpaper right now
Wanda: I think not
Oh and:
*Wanda added stephen strange to the chat. Wanda added Thor, and Loki to the groupchat*
Spider-Man: So, Mister Stark, what is the problem that I am a part of?
if it is being illegaly handsom
im afraid I can do nothing about that
Bucky: You and me both brother
Tony: Okay, so remember the intern I talked about
Spider-Man: ...
Just a sec, scrolling up in the chat to find it
Ah, the potential genius
Tony: oh my goodness no
he has potential
and he is a genius
Nat: Tony, learn to read sarcasm and jokes thorugh texts
Tony: 🙄
Spider-Man: Oh my gosh he knows emoji's
proud of you mr stark!
Scott: It assuredly is a proud day in history
Pietro: Literal tears in my eyes
Clint: I took a screenshot.
I now have a new wallpaper as well Wanda
Wanda: I think my wallpaper of Rhodey having an existential cirisis is way better
Thor: whyisthemanyellowandhowdoidospaces?
Loki: Incompetent
Spider-Man: Anyway, mr stark, what is the problem with your intern
is he secretely a supervillain bent on killing you
or kidnapping your wife and child?
Pepper: Tony, if there is someone out to kill us again whom you challenged
you better tell me right now
Tony: no, that is a figment of Spideys imagination
Strange: mmh
spiderman you have spidersense right
so do you feel like he is being targeted
because if that is the case
pepper you should probably go into hidding
you need to trust spidey's spidersense i have learned
Pepper: what.
Spidey, you wer joking right
Spider-Man: nah, just joking
y'all are probably fine
Pepper: k thx
Tony: Pepper, are you texting on your phone
Pepper: Yeah, I'm not a pschycopath
Tony: You think people who text on their laptops are phsychos?
Pepper: yeah why?
Tony: no reason.
Clint: lol, get owned
anyway, what is up with your intern?
he seemd chill
and nice
and he hacked shield so thats cool
Nick: okay, i am seriously going to recruit htis peter parker
Nat: you want his address
Spider-Man: Wow, creepy
Nat: hihi
what did you expect
im an internation, super spy, SUPER SPY!
Steve: Dear Nat,
I got that reference,
Sincerely,
Steve Rogers
Spider-Man: awh, good 4 u🤩
also thor, click the button that says space
and the man is yellow bcs it is an emoji
Thor: thank you man of spiders
is the emoji man sick and therefore yellow?
Spider-Man: ...
uh no
he's an alien emoji race,
and their skin colour is yellow
Thor: ah, thank you for explaining man of spiders
Spider-Man: ur welcome
Clint: How is such a gullible person a superhero?
Nat: that's what I wonder every day as well
...
when I look at you
Clint: ...
ur mean
Tony: guys, my predicament?!
Strange: what is it?
Tony: my intern refuses to call me tony
he just keeps calling me mr stark
and its annoying
i just wnat him to call me tony
Spider-man: wow, MR STARK, that's too bad
MR STARK, did you switch to using a phone to text?
u hae some typos
Tony: I was always texting on my phone
Also stop saying mr stark to annoy me
Pepper: I sense a lie
Tony: can anyone give me any advice?!
Clint: As spiderman said earlier
deal with it
MR TONY STARK SIR
Tony: you are all the worst
Spider-Man: glad to be of service MR TONY STARK SIR SIRE YOUR HIGNESS
Natasha: We'd love to help you anytime
MR TONY ANTHONY STARK SIR SIRE YOUR HIGNESS THE THIRD
Clint: Also,
MR TONY ANTHONY STARK SIR, HIS ROYAL HIGNESS OF THE LAND OF IDIOTS, THE THIRD OF HIS KIND,
your wife wants me to inform you to put morgan to be
Tony: i am surrounded by idiots
Spider-Man: Sure ur not in a hall of mirrors?
Tony: u suck the most
I hope you know that
gtg
ttyl
Spider-Man: haha lol
say goodnight to Morgan for me
oh and also guys,
look what I found online
Steve: Dear Spidey,
who is that and why does he look like me?
also why is he in handcuffs,
sincerly,
steve rogers
Spider-Man: okay give me a sec
okay, mr rogers, try to type something
Steve: why won't the words and not type?
i tried to type them but they wouldnt
how am i supposed to correspond respectively now?
Spider-Man: ur not
thats why I hacked and made usre you couldnt use those words anymore
Steve: you turned of all greeting and farewell words for me!
Spider-man: Yeah, in case you decided to use those instead
Nat: Steve not using those words is not my wallpaper
Steve: Natasha please no
Clint: its my homescreen
Pepper: I'm paying someone to make a poster of it
also spiderman,
what is your name
Spider-Man: ...
the point of a secret id is that I don't tell anyone
you know, to protect people I love
sorry
but this chat is too easy to hack into
so I won't say
I'm going to go on patrol
here have another meme:
Steve: not funny
not funny at all
please give me back greeting priviliges
Spider-Man: no
(Spiderman offline at 18:16)