Harry did not know how to peel a banana.
Hermione walked up with a knife. "Silly Harry," she said. She then proceeded to stab the banana 15 times. Now the banana was a pile of mush.
Ron thought the best way to peel it was by shooting it with a gun. There was one problem though. Ron did not has very great aim, and Hermione was holding the mush. Ron shot, and missed.
"Thank God, finally! I've been waiting for this moment my entire life!" Hermione said. Ron then proceeded to eat Hermione's family. Harry did not take notice of any part of this, though.
Harry DID notice that his least favorite teacher, Snape, had approached. Harry took Hermione's knife and threw it at Snape, who barely dodged.
Harry and Ron made a run for it. Harry thought it was a good idea to throw a cupcake. Dumbledore was standing right behind Snape as harry threw the cupcake. The cupcake happened to land straight onto Dumbledore's moon-shaped spectacles.
Harry and Ron ran once again and ended up in THE FOREST OF DO NOT GO THERE! A silver unicorn seemed to be bolting from a mysterious cloaked creature. The magical metallic horn ended up in Ron’s stomach as the unicorn was not looking where it was going. Ron slowly looked down at his stomach. Unicorn blood (and normal blood) was everywhere.
Harry did not understand what just happened as usual and dabbed. The cloaked creature decided to drink the unicorn blood as he was already very cursed from seeing the boy dab in 2024. He had to know it wasn’t 2015. Harry took the gun that Ron used to have hand threw it off of The Forest of Do Not Go There's cliff as he was not American.
After all of that trouble, Harry proceeded to drink a bo’le o’ wa’er to hydrate instead of dydrate. While drinking the wa’er, Harry realized that he might just be American.
As usual, Harry did not have very many braincells working at the moment, so he jumped down the cliff. Harry broke one of his legs but he survived. His glasses did not. Everything was a giant blurry blob.
Harry saw the very blurry gun and a black blurr coming in the distance. Harry thought the blurr coming was trying to attack him. He couldn't run with his broken leg so he proceeded to shoot the blurr with the gun. This time, the bullet hit.
A giant snake approached him. Harry had no more bullets in his gun, so he couldn't do anything about it, really. The snake devoured him, but then realized that he was quite disgusting. The snake spit him out in the middle of nowhere, and a random bird proceeded to absolutely sob on Harry's leg. Now Harry could stand up.
A cowboy walked up to him and said, "Have a biscuit Harry."
Harry was confused at TWO things. One for each braincell! First was that he said 'biscuit.' He definitely did not look British. In fact, he looked quite American. Second was that he knew his name. He decided to ask the strange cowboy, but all the cowboy said was "Yeehaw," then left, but not before giving Harry a weird yellowish biscuit.
The biscuit was warm and looked like it was layered, and when Harry bit into it, he vomited onto his clean trousers. They weren't so clean anymore...
Harry did not like his vomit covered trousers, so he decided to wash them off at a nearby lake.
(To be continued...)