Yours For Good
December 2006
Hermione,
I’m sorry.
I’m a coward, always have been, likely always will be. In the face of my mistake, I reverted to type. I tried to hide, I tried to push you away. I shouldn’t have done that.
I think it’s being in this place for so long. They suck you dry of any hope for the future. All you know is your four stone walls and the sense of dread that never quite leaves you. And the cold. Fuck, it’s so cold here, Hermione.
I know Scorpius is yours. I’ve known for years. I’d never try to keep you from him. It’s going to be me disrupting that dynamic, and it’s going to be you that decides how we move forward in doing that. I don’t want to get it wrong with him. The idea of letting him down, of continuing that age old Malfoy pattern of useless fathers, terrifies me. I don’t have any choice but to be better, I suppose. I need your help for that. If I have to get on my knees and beg you, then I will.
I am so very tired of talking to you via letter. It takes too long and I don’t get to look at you. That is what feels most unfair about all of this. I don’t deserve you, but once I’m home, I promise to try to.
Merry Christmas, Hermione.
Yours, entirely undeservedly, but entirely unreservedly,
Draco
***
January 2007
Draco,
Happy new year. This is it, your last 8 weeks, and here we are, still a bit broken. I’m alright with that, I think. It was never going to be all sunshine and roses, but we'll be alright anyway. We've got each other, that's the main thing. I'm looking forward to talking to you properly about everything, the good and the bad.
Pansy is pregnant, but is refusing to tell anyone what she’s having. She has, however, announced that she wants to tell you, so I’ll include her note at the bottom of my letter. I promise I haven’t looked. She said she’d rip my arms off if I did.
Scorp had a lovely yule and new year. He’s still a bit subdued, but I’m hoping that won’t last much longer, not now we’re in the proper countdown to your return. Speaking of, I realised we haven’t really discussed the practicalities of that. I think we all just assumed you’d stay with me, but I’ve never actually asked you. Do you want to? There is obviously space for you at Parkinson House, but there is also a spare room in my flat you could use. Or you could also not use it, and still stay in my flat. In another room. Entirely up to you.
Second thing to sort out, who do you want to come and pick you up? Everyone’s free, so whoever you want. You can even choose Harry if you like.
I am also thoroughly over writing to you. You owe me a fortune in owl costs, for starters.
Yours restlessly,
Hermione
Smug Prick,
Willow Enid and August Altair. My due date is the start of June, so I’m going to do my best to ruin your birthday. You were right about all of it, apart from one thing. I chose ‘Altair’ to honour my family. It’s a star, in the Aquila constellation.
Longbottom is holding off on proposing because he feels like he needs your blessing. I told him that was stupid. He told me he wished I called him ‘Neville’ more often. I guess we can’t all have what we want.
You and Mi are the godparents. Can you try and have another kid with her pretty quickly? I want them to all grow up together like we did.
I miss you, and I love you. I still hate writing letters.
Pans x
***
January 2007
Hermione,
I would like to stay with you, if you’ll have me. I’d also like you to pick me up. I’d like everyone else to fuck off for 24 hours, at which point I’d like to see Scorp. After another day, then I’ll see everyone else.
Tell Pans congratulations from me, but I do resent being addressed as ‘smug prick’.
Yours,
Draco
***
February 2007
Draco,
I have been feverishly cleaning every square inch of my flat since I got your last letter. Callie keeps watching me like I’ve lost my mind. Maybe I have. Daphne had to physically drag me out of here the other day. She forced me to go to the park with her, Scorp, and Luca. It helped a bit, but not much. I’m still nervous.
I have a bit of a story for your last ever letter, though. Pansy made me go shopping with her, under the guise of buying baby clothes. That was a lie. She actually tried to buy me a whole new wardrobe because she’s ‘tired of looking at my ratty jumpers’. She has a unique way of showing people she loves them, doesn’t she? She also dragged me into Madame Malkin’s and tried to buy me lingerie. It was one of the worst things that has ever happened to me. She also refused to let me get anything that wasn’t green in there. I can’t think why that might be.
All your demands will be listened to, by the way, even if Narcissa is vaguely outraged at not being able to see you for two days. I said you’d just be sleeping for most of that time anyway, so she won’t be missing out on much.
I bought you some towels yesterday. What an exciting development that is. Scorp thought it was fun, at least. He wanted to get you pink ones, but we settled for white. Can you tell I’m struggling to know what to write?
I solemnly swear, here and now, to never write you a letter ever again.
Yours,
Hermione
***
February 2007
Hermione,
This will presumably arrive after I’m home. That is an incredibly strange feeling. Anyway, I just had something important to tell you.
I love you.
Yours,
Draco