From Your Friends
February 2006
Ferret,
They say variety is the spice of life, so aren’t you lucky to receive a letter from your favourite ginger witch? Rest assured that your beloved Hermione is fine, but she didn’t have time to write, she’s been so busy recently. I offered, as she was working herself up into a right mess about it, and she made me promise to be nice. We’ll see if I manage that or not. She says her next letter will be extra long to make it up to you, as if this one isn’t sufficient or something. The cheek of the woman, honestly.
Hermione’s mother passed away suddenly two weeks ago, and so she’s over in Australia, working with the solicitors to sort out her affairs. Theo and George have gone with her so she isn’t alone, but how much help they’ll actually be is largely questionable. Now that both of her parents are gone, she needs to sell the house and sort a few other things, so she’s been totally snowed under. It’s so shit, and I don’t think she’s had the time or space to grieve properly yet, but know that we’ll all be here for her when she does crack. You know her, she puts on a brave face for the world. I’m not sure I could do it, not with half of the things she’s been through, but she is the self-appointed rock of this family and refuses to be vulnerable. I’m holding out hope that you’ll turn out to be the person who gets through to her one day. Don’t let me down, Draco Malfoy.
With the scary mama bear down under, we took the opportunity to teach the boys a bit of quidditch. Nothing too serious, but Scorpius did manage to fly on his own for a few minutes. The brooms only go to two feet off the ground, so there’s nothing to worry about on the health and safety front. Albus hated every second of it, but James and Scorp are naturals. You’d be proud. The next generation will be keeping the slytherin/gryffindor rivalry alive and well.
For all the stick he gave you all those years ago, Blaise was clinging to Luca desperately and did not let go until Harry put the brooms back in the shed. How the tables have turned, eh?
I will do my best to articulate this next story well enough for you to picture it, because it’s one of the best things I’ve ever seen. As Hermione was away, we were down a cake maker for Luca’s birthday party. Harry and your mother volunteered in her stead (??), both announcing that it could not possibly be that hard. I entered Pansy’s kitchen to find both of them covered in more flour than I’ve ever seen in one place, and a cake that was burnt, full of egg shells, and somehow green in colour? Suffice it to say, they have been fired from ever attempting baking again. I’ve never seen Narcissa in such a state of inelegance. They wouldn’t let me take a photo for your ever-growing pile of things to see, but you can always have the memory instead. I imagine you’re the sort of person to own a pensieve, you rich arsehole. Neville then made another cake, and it was pretty good, but nothing like Hermione’s. She’s one of a kind, but you already knew that.
Hermione is yet to work out that Theo asked you to be his best man. She might be the most intelligent witch of all time, but sometimes, she can’t see the bloody obvious. It’s sort of a surprise, I think? Nobody’s really spoken openly about you being at the wedding, and it’s like they can’t decide if Theo’s joking or not when he says he won’t do it without you. I’ve become something of a Theodore whisperer over the years, so when Hermione passed on your ‘yes’ from the last letter, it confirmed my suspicions. I hope you realise how much everyone is looking forward to seeing you. It’s like we’ve gotten to know this mysterious absent figure, skewed through Hermione’s rose-tinted glasses as she describes you, but I’ve never met you in this new, less arse-like form. No pressure or anything, but there are great expectations.
I have no idea if she’s ever mentioned it, but occasionally, Scorp calls Hermione mummy. She always brushes it off as a confused child, some shit about Mia and Mum starting with the same letter, but he’s never said it to Pans, not once. I think your son has staked his claim. Just figured I’d give you a heads up, see if you fancied coming round to the idea. She’ll kill me if she ever finds out I’ve told you any of this, but it needs to be said. I get that this is a complicated situation, but Hermione is fundamentally a part of your family now, whether you decide to shag her or not, and I think she deserves a title. Pansy has been an excellent guardian and role model to Scorpius and I mean her no disrespect, but Hermione is the one that has loved him like her own. Something to mull over.
Is that long enough? I see why Hermione gets so absorbed in these, it’s quite the responsibility to be engaging for you. Don’t worry, the next one will be back to Hermione. Or maybe I’ll get Harry to write you something instead. I’m sure you spend your days longing to hear from him. Definitely not seeing curly hair and brown eyes in your dreams, are you, Ferret? Don’t be silly.
All the best from your friend,
Ginny Potter
***
March 2006
To whom it may concern,
It’s odd writing a letter and not being sure as to who will read it. I’ll address the sections separately to be on the safe side.
To Ginevra,
Thank you for writing to me and taking on the mantle. Your letter was plenty engaging, and of apt length. I wonder how anyone gets away with anything with you being so astute. I feel sorry for your children on that front. You were definitely sorted incorrectly by that hat, you have all the makings of a fine slytherin. In response to some of the things you alluded to, know that it’s pretty much all I think about anyway and so I’m quite prepared for it to become a reality when I’m home. I’m the luckiest arsehole on the planet, I’m well aware.
From your friend? - DLM
To Hermione,
I’m so sorry for your loss. I’m glad Theo and George could go with you so that you weren’t alone in Australia. I’m sure you’re aware that everyone is here for you, but I want to remind you that I am too, even if I’m a little further away. I hope you were able to wrap everything up smoothly, and it wasn’t too stressful. If you’re ever too busy to write to me, please don’t panic about it. I won’t lie and say I wasn’t disappointed to not hear from you, but hearing from Ginevra was still more than welcome. I’ll take a letter from anyone, I don’t wish to be a burden. You’re already doing so much for me in taking care of Scorp, you don’t have to stretch yourself even further. I thoroughly enjoyed hearing of my mother’s attempts at baking, something I never thought I’d say, and the fact that she worked with Potter on the doomed project made the whole thing delightfully surreal. I suppose they’re all glad that you are so skilled in that department. I assume you’re skilled, I’ve never actually tried any of these cakes. Maybe you’re all lying to me, who knows.
How is Scorp getting on? Say hi to him for me.
I miss you. I know we’ve discussed the ins and outs of that particular sentiment, but it makes it no less true.
Yours,
Draco
***
March 2006
No Hermione again, mate. She’s still in Australia, wrapping up a few bits and pieces. Muggle stuff I could not begin to understand, and so she sent me away. Apparently I wasn’t being helpful, can you imagine? She said to say hello and apologise profusely for missing two letters now, but I told her that you wouldn’t mind a bit when you realised that this letter is from The Boys. The next one will definitely be from her, so don’t panic too much. I can just picture you sighing longingly, pining from a distance for the witty repartee that you’ve missed out on for a while now. Well, pine no more, my lanky friend, because I returned home in time to write you this beautiful missive.
Australia is excellent. The accent is so fun, and frankly, if I’d known how friendly those particular muggles were before I tied myself down, I never would have left the place. Hermione took us surfing a couple of times. George and I were terrible, she was great, as per usual. You should get her to take you one day, I think you’d like it. Even if you don’t, you’d get to see her in a bikini. Those muggles, always wearing so little clothing. Perhaps we should take a group holiday one day? Or will your pasty white skin immediately burst into flame?
It’s my birthday tomorrow. As a gift from you, I would like a little kiss blown out of your window. I’ll know if you don’t do it.
Love and cuddles,
Theo xxx
Hello Ferret. Hermione doesn’t like it when Gin and I call you that, but she isn’t going to read this so she won’t know, and frankly, calling you Draco seems too familiar, considering we’ve never actually had a proper conversation. I’ve obviously punched you before, but I don’t think that counts.
You ever think about how weird our lives are? You probably do, you’ve got a lot of time on your hands. Fred would have loved watching all of this play out. The general batshit energy of the whole thing would have been right up his street.
When you and Mia get married, do you think you’ll have a big fuck off wedding or just elope secretly and not tell anyone? You’ve already done it once, but I guess this time round will mean a bit more to you. I’m approaching the point where I’m thinking of pranking my own wedding, I’m losing my mind. Why are there so many decisions? What is the difference between muslin and linen? I neither know or care, but our mothers seem to, so that’s that.
I am, however, looking forward to having you there. It means a lot to Theo, and so it means a lot to me. I might need to spike your champagne with something though, just for my own amusement. I feel it’s only fair.
All the best,
George
I don’t know why I’m doing this, we both know it isn’t me you want to hear from. I’m just going to stick to quidditch, I feel like that’s a safe topic.
With Hermione still in Australia, we got the brooms out again. You know she warded the shed, so she’d know if we opened it? There’s a fair amount of curse breaking involved in being an auror, so I got through them, but she was certainly thorough in her work. Not sure why that surprised me, when isn’t she thorough?
Watching little you race little me around the garden is one of my favourite things to do at the minute. One day, we’ll get to do the whole ‘my kid is better than your kid’ toxic dad thing, but whilst you can’t see how good either of them are, I’m going to have to tell you the truth. Scorpius is currently better than James. I’ll deny I said that if you ever tell anyone. Plus, there’s still time for James’ genes to kick in, and he’ll be flying rings around Scorp before you know it.
I’ll set the scene for what a typical game looks like. We do snakes vs lions (obviously), with Ginny and I on a team with James. Scorp plays with Blaise and Theo. George eagerly awaits the day that you can come and play, then we’ll have enough for four a side. Daphne is a bit of a dark horse on a broom, but tends to stay grounded and drink whatever cocktail Pansy’s invented that week with her instead. Perhaps when Lily and Luca are old enough, she’ll be willing to even up the numbers. Albus had a go, but it wasn’t his thing at all, so he prefers to help Narcissa and Neville in the garden whilst we’re all flying. He is very much taking after Hermione with how many books he makes me read to him, and I couldn’t be prouder. I’ve never been an academic (you can have that one for free, I’m already imagining all the scathing things you might reply with), and so to have a son taking that direction all on his own was a surprise. Scorp is managing to do both at the minute. I suppose he takes after you in that respect, irritatingly good at everything. Is the showing off genetic, do you think? An inherent Malfoy trait, I bet.
I am about to help your mother put all of the photos Hermione’s collecting for you into an album. The pile was getting out of hand, and she wants it in order, so you can see Scorp getting older over time. When did we grow up? It happened when I wasn’t paying attention, I think.
Gin says hi, and wants you to know that she is omniscient when it comes to boys making trouble. I’m scared to ask what she means by that.
If I have to tie Hermione to a chair to make it so that she starts writing to you again, and so that I don’t have to, then I am willing to do it. I suppose you’ll find out if I was successful or not. - Harry Potter
HI D A D! FROM S COR P (We’ve got him practising his writing, so I thought you might like to see his progress. Love, Pans)