I love you
Sirius
It’s 7 a.m when Sirius finally gets a message, it’s from Regulus and the moment he sets his eyes on it he feels the weight of the world lay off. Quickly he shakes Remus awake before looking at it, He groaned covering his eyes at the sunlight sneaking through, “Come back to sleep, sweetheart” he says, his voice husky after not using it for the duration of his sleep.
Siirus hit his shoulder, exasperated but so in love “Up Remus, now” He groaned again and sat up pulling Sirius into his arms, Sirius hid a smile and snuggled closer laying his head on his boyfriend's shoulder, he once again grabbed his phone and held it in front of them, going to Regulus’ contact.
Baby Brother
I’m with James, we’re okay just doing the Geography project
The idiot’s phone died.
Je t’amie
Seen 07:30
Bloody hell, I’ll let Effie know.
Sirius felt Remus deflate more then he heard it and he was right there with him. He was- they were okay, It was too early to call Effie now knowing she probably slept late hoping James would come home. Sirius sent her a quick message letting her know that both James and Regulus were okay.
Remus had already fallen asleep again, his arms tight on his waist, he tried too. Closing and opening his eyes repeatedly but he couldn’t cut the live wire that had ignited since he got that message. Yes they were okay but for how long?
How long would they be gone? How long would he have to wait, staring at his phone and hoping there was another update as to whether or not they were alive or dead? He sighed and quietly got out of bed, putting on his shoes and sneaking out of Remus’ room and out the house. He felt horrible for leaving Remus but felt better waiting at home to see if either of them would turn up.
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Failed Black Heir
Bloody hell, I’ll let Effie know.
Seen 07:45
James let out an audible sigh, his chin was on Regulus' shoulder, as his arms were circled around his waist. Once Regulus had pocketed his phone James turned him around and pressed a soft kiss to his lips.
“Thank you, love” he said softly, Regulus blushed and hid his face in James' chest. James hummed running circles over Regulus' waist. He had snaked his arms under his shirt and was happy Regulus didn’t have an issue with it. “You’re quite the touchy person,” Regulus said. James shrugged, dipping his head so he could trace the line of Regulus’ jaw with his nose. He felt Regulus shiver, and smirked. “You’re not complaining are you?” He said teasingly, Regulus scoffed and pushed him away, stepping over their bikes and walking up to the small house.
They had rode their bikes for hours, occasionally stopping so they could have a break or when James couldn’t handle not holding Regulus and they would kiss. After a long ride they made it to a place James had been told was called The Blue Flash but was basically just an old man’s house that happened to have a rollercoaster he built in his backyard.
James rushed over to where Regulus was walking and fell into step with him, Regulus leaned into him and James grinned, pressing a kiss to Regulus’ messy curls, and curled an arm around his waist. They knocked on the door and an old man with long white hair and beard answered the door.
“Hello” he said, eyes gazing over his half moon spectacles at them, “Hello” Regulus said, “We would like to see your rollercoaster, it’s for a geography project” he said, and James would have laughed at how nervous he was if it wasn’t adorable.
The man nodded and took them over to a half run-down gate and led them to the backyard. “My name is Albus, Albus Dumbledore” he said sticking out his hand, James turned to see Regulus blushing deeply and took pity on him, he stuck his arm out and grabbed Albus’ hand, surprised when for such an old guy his grip was iron tight.
“I’m Potter, James Potter and this is my boyfriend. Black, Regulus Black” James said, introducing them the same way he did, Albus seemed to have caught on because he laughed lightly and swept an arm over the roller coaster. “This is The Blue Flash” he said and led them over to the cart.
James looked over at Reg and his eyes were bright and he seemed to be trying to hide his smile, he looked like a kid again, absolutely ecstatic to be going on a roller coaster. James pulled him into a quick kiss while Albus had his back to them and his smile broke free once they pulled apart. “I love you” Regulus said, already reaching up for another kiss.
James smiled, his heart fluttering, until his brain caught up to Regulus’ words at the same time he did. They both froze and James looked at Regulus. His eyes were wide with fear and before he could say anything he rushed his steps until he was walking side by side with Albus. Despite Regulus running away James couldn’t fight the smile off his face.
Essentially telling Regulus he loved him 4 hours away from home in a random man’s backyard was not how James envisioned to tell him but love had mysterious ways of working out, like now. James understood that Regulus was essentially freaking out because he didn’t mean to say it like that.
So James gave him time to freak out. Albus was already explaining how the rollercoaster worked when James caught up to them and James honest to god had never seen Regulus focus this much, it was almost hilarious. When James approached them Regulus all but jumped onto the cart buckling himself up and staring intently at Albus. “You should make it start” he said to Albus pointing at the lever.
Albus covered his laugh remarkably well and pulled the lever staring up the roller coaster, as Regulus rode he turned to look at James. “You guys remind me of my late husband” Albus said, James jumped, not expecting him to talk, he almost immediately frowned upon the words but before he could apologise Albus held up his hands.
“It was years ago, we were young about your age, he was dealing with things he wouldn’t tell me about and 4 months before our wedding he killed himself” James gasped, eyes glossing over in horror as his arms twitched as if he wanted to comfort Albus.
Albus sighed, stroking his long beard and staring at James, “I’m not telling you in pity, I still love him despite that he left me, I’m not mad either but I could never love someone else and I fear it’s happening to you” Albus said, James head was trying desperately to try wrap his brain around this quickly but everything Albus said just seemed to lead to more and more coded messages.
“Hold onto him and pray he doesn’t let go” Albus said, turning back as the roller coaster stopped and Regulus got out. “Oh, James!” He said excitedly walking over to James with stars in his eyes, he froze as he got closer to him, already starting to shrink into himself. James closed the distance between them and tilted his head up. “I love you” He said, his voice firm as he gazed into Regulus' eyes.
“Jesus love, I’ve loved you for years, I’ve probably loved you since I was born since the universe was made but it’s been you, it’s always bloody been you and I love you and I’ll love you forever” James said, he had tears shining in his eyes as he looked at Regulus the thought of the boy in front of him suddenly disappearing never to be seen again almost made James heart cave in.
Regulus kissed him, small but beautiful lips closing around James’ own. Regulus sighed into the kiss arms coming around James neck to pull him down, they pulled away and pressed their heads together “Yeah James, I love you too, in every lifetime out there, we’re forever you and I aren’t we?” Regulus said, James could tell his eyes were open but he feared if he opened his he would start crying. The moment was beautiful, almost too beautiful for the thoughts that were plaguing his mind.
Hold onto him and pray he doesn’t let go. The words were connecting to things James knew and making the possibility seem too real - too close. So he kept his eyes closed hoping that meant he couldn’t see the words and answered.
“We’re forever you and I love”
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Regulus
Regulus was floating, full on cloud 9. They were riding back into town and Regulus had the perfect place to take James to. Today had not been what he expected but most days were like that. Regulus had said it, he had confessed to James and James had said it back.
He was beyond happy and didn’t know where to put it all. James had been quiet since Regulus had gotten off the roller coaster, he worried it was him and that he was being too much but James still kissed and touched him so it was okay.
Albeit he touched Regulus like he was air like he would disappear if he squeezed too hard, it was cute in a way but Regulus Black was anything but soft and didn’t like being treated like that. He let James do it though because he was in love and he, on one hand never believed the saying ‘Love makes you do crazy things’ but well here he was pathetically in love with James and doing crazy things.
Riding all over Indiana with his boyfriend. Regulus snaps back into reality and hears James humming, he tucks a secret smile into his shoulder and continues riding.
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James
When they finally do stop riding James notices they’re at a lake. He knows immediately which one it is, The Blue Hole. It was a small kept secret here.
Regulus stopped his bike by some of the trees and waited for James to stand next to him. James did, walking over to his boyfriend and kissing him once he got close enough. James hummed, “I love you” he said and Regulus grinned.
“I love you” Regulus said back, James felt like he was floating, he could run from the sun back in just a second he knew he could, he decided then to ignore Albus’ warning. After all the man only just met him, he couldn’t know anything.
They walked hand in hand to some rocks that were level with the river. They sat down together looking over the water, James turned to look at Regulus, he had his legs drawn up and arms folded over his knees while his head was in them.
It was almost as if he was hiding - tucking himself away. “A man drowned” Regulus said rather abruptly, “Here” he said, “It’s rather interesting, drowning don’t you think?” He continued on.
James had decided he really didn’t like this topic. “Let’s not talk about that” James said, arm reaching out for Regulus, “You think I’m weird don’t you?” Regulus asked, he wasn’t mad. It sounded like he was relieved.
Almost as if he was happy James found him weird, like the thought comforted him. “No love, you’re not weird, you’re perfect” James said finally getting Regulus to sit next to him. He wrapped his arms around and held him tight.
“You say that, until you see it” Regulus said and when James tried asking what he meant he stayed quiet, Regulus didn’t speak after that and James didn’t want to disturb the small peace he had found.
The water sloshed softly at their feet, grazing their feet before it went back. James found peace with the push and pull of the tide.
The sun was slowly setting and they needed to get home. James softly shook Regulus awake, he groaned and muttered something but slowly James coaxed him to wake up and got on his bike.
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James
Regulus had asked rather adamantly if he could stay at James' house but also gave him every opportunity to say no, which James obviously didn’t.
His parents were a mess when they opened the door, crying and pulling them into a hug. Pushing him to the couch and checking over him, getting him and water, some for Regulus too.
They tried calling Sirius too but Regulus convinced them not too. Regulus had passed out on the couch a few hours later and Fleamont had carried him to James’ room. The silence with James and Effie was heavy, and it was heating him up.
He took one look at his mum and cracked, falling into her lap he sobbed. “Mum I love him so much, but something’s wrong and he’s not telling me and I’m worried I’m so worried” he said and Effie’s heart cracked right along with her son.
No person should have to feel this much pain, this much guilt over someone else's feelings, but Effie had seen the boy and James was right, slowly he was walking to the edge of the cliff and he looked happy, all too happy to fall to his death
It broke her heart as it broke everyone else that watched it. The way Sirius would lean onto Remus and Remus would pretend to be brave when Regulus disappearing also affected him, or how every other person in that friend group was slowly losing themselves.
James held onto his mum while he cried every thought racing to him at once. Regulus not eating, his disappearances, the brothers barely there relationship. It all made sense, why Regulus looked so much more happier when they were looking for a new place to explore.
Or really just another place to distract him. “One things for sure James, that boy loves you like you hung the sun and if anyone can help him, it’s you” His mum said, and James laughed bitterly when she said the sun, his mind going back to when they were dancing in the Purina tower.
Even after he left his mum and crawled into bed with Regulus. James knew deep down that they were never going to dance in front of their fireplace, he knew deep down he was never going to have children or grandchildren. James knew deep down he would die alone because Regulus would die long before he should.