Oh Barty..
Regulus
Regulus feels good. The best he’s felt in a while actually, if he forgets about his painting catastrophe of a room. He wakes up - once again with strong arms around him.
He smiles and snuggles closer, James hums and Regulus hides his smile in James shoulder, “I know you're awake” James says, pressing a kiss to Regulus head. “Yeah Regulus, he knows you're awake” Regulus heard an irritated voice say and he jumped away from James, landing off the bed and on the ground.
He turned around and glared at Sirius. “Guess you're not that stupid after all” he said glaring at his older brother and getting up, he didn’t feel like getting back in bed with James if his brother was watching him but when he turned back to look at James he looked so sad staring at the empty space.
Regulus secretly felt really happy and crawled back into bed with James despite the undignified noise that left his brother's mouth but it was all worth it for the smile James sent him. “So you guys are dating?” Sirius asked, Regulus thought he seemed relieved? Happy?
For his brother and best friend to be dating Regulus was expecting a little action, a shout maybe and by the look on James face he was expecting the same thing. “Good on you then, at least now I’ll know where he is at all times” Sirius said, getting up from James desk and walking to the door.
Oddly Regulus didn’t want Sirius to leave, he didn’t know why but he had gotten some comfort from the few minutes his brother had been here. “You’re not using my boyfriend to spy on me,” Regulus said, scoffing and rolling his eyes.
“He was my best friend first,” Sirius said, crossing his arms and looking seven all over again, when they used to fight for toys. Regulus smirked, “I fell in love with him first, so he’s mine” Regulus said confidently, crossing his arms too and meeting his brother's glare head on.
“Really?” James said, and despite his dark complexion Regulus could tell he was blushing. “Of course darling” Regulus answered, softening completely when he started talking to James and that’s all it took for him to melt like butter.
“Ugh” Sirius said, wrinkling his nose and opening the door “You're a disappointment, Potter” Sirius said glaring at James. James for the first Regulus has ever known him completely ignored Sirius and kept his eyes solely trained on Regulus. Regulus didn’t know what was going on around him and didn’t really care much for it, James arms had tightened on his waist and his already dark eyes were steadily getting darker.
Regulus gulped anticipation coiling hot at the base of his spine, James looked hungry like he wanted to devour Regulus right here and Regulus was all here for it. James grabbed Regulus more firmly and swung him over his legs. “Say it again” he panted, his eyes were blown wide and seemed to be glazed over, his bottom lip was firmly caught between his teeth as he stared up at Regulus.
Admittedly Regulus was feeling a bit weak himself, he didn’t know what to do with the way James was looking at him, unbridled want painted all over his face. Regulus felt the words tumble out his mouth before he could even comprehend the emotions stewing inside him.
“I love you” He said, his voice breathless and sure. “Jesus James, I love you so much I don't even know where to put it” Regulus continued on, words continuously falling from his lips like a waterfall. “Fill me” James answered immediately. “I want your love Regulus” He said and Regulus didn’t know what else to do so he cupped James' jaw and leaned in. “You’ve had it for years” He said softly and kissed James.
For the first time ever Regulus finally understood what Virigina Woolf was really trying to say when she said: ‘I see you everywhere, in the stars, in the river, to me you’re everything that exists, the reality of everything.’ James was his everything and he’d been catching glimpses of James in everything he was for the past 4 years.
James
James was dead, he believed it fully, because the person staring at him with stars in his eyes wasn’t a human, he couldn’t be, it was an angel, an angel with the deadlist looks James has ever seen. His dark curls against his pale skin almost made him similar to the devil with the deep contrast of colors, but lord have mercy on him were those eyes not amazing.
Everything about the angel was intense, his looks, his gaze. James was one lucky, lucky guy to have the angel sitting on his lap. “James” the angel said, his breath laboured and his eyes were glazed over, he spoke James name like a prayer, a reward just for him. “Stop looking at me like that” He said and James didn’t know how he was looking at Regulus but he knew he never wanted to stop gazing at him.
“I don’t know how to, love” James said, his hand coming up to sweep a curl off Regulus’ hair and tuck it behind his ear. Regulus blushed, a deep crimson coating over his pale skin and James could have jumped to the moon with how beautiful he looked. “I love you” James said “I’ve loved you for years” He continued on, Regulus preened and gave a cocky grin.
“I know, you weren’t exactly subtle” Regulus teased, and James thought it was the perfect opportunity for a tickle attack. His hands quickly came up to Regulus’ arms and started ticking him, almost immediately Regulus started shrieking, his laughs and giggles echoing through the room.
Regulus fell off James' lap and tried escaping the bed but got tangled up in the sheets, James ' laugh bounded off the walls and swung Regulus’ heart along with it, and you know if this is how his days were planned to look like, spending forever with James wouldn’t be so bad.
Regulus
After 2 minutes of trying to stay strong James had won and they’d be going out with their friends to the beach. Regulus secretly wanted to do this, since the part in Indiana where they live didn’t have a beach they had to drive to the nearest one which would take an hour and a half, and Regulus knows James would never let him cycle for that long.
They were waiting outside the Potter house and James was a nervous wreck, Regulus was just about to cave when he got an idea. “I could drive you” Regulus said, nervously, trying to not go back on his idea. James immediately coiled up with tension, his back going alarmingly tense. Regulus immediately felt like rushing out an apology but stopped himself.
He laid a hand on James’ arm, “I’ll drive super slow” he said softly, and James gave him a jerky nod before walking towards the car, Regulus followed closely behind him and when James opened the door he just stood there, staring into space. Regulus went to the driving side and sat in the car, staring and waiting patiently for James to move.
He shot off a quick text to Sirius to let him know they didn’t need to be picked up anymore. James' eyes were unfocused and his grip on the door was so tight his knuckles were white, his eyes were covered with a light sheen of tears and he seemed to be a million years away, looking at something that wasn’t really there.
“We can go past her memorial by the bridge” Regulus said softly, heart breaking when James clenched his jaw and quickly wiped his tears away. “No” he said sternly and got in the car, shutting the door softly. He sat rigid in his seat back pin straight as he buckled in. Regulus couldn’t help but feel that this was a horrible idea but they were already here and there was no point in getting out.
He slowly started the car and pulled the car out of the garage. They drove in relative silence, James slowly relaxing into the car before remembering just what happened in the car before the tension came back. Regulus' heart had never felt more shattered then it did now and he didn’t want to look away from the road and worry James so he stayed focused and drove them to the beach.
The moment they arrived at the beach Regulus threw himself out the car and hugged James. James hugged Regulus back, even when he wasn’t present he would never dream of ignoring Regulus. “She asked to drive that night, you know?” James finally said, his voice raw with pain. “I should’ve said yes, I’m so stupid” James said, voice cracking at the end till he folded himself into Regulus, sobs racking his whole frame.
“I just miss her so much, all day everyday, she’s like a fucking itch I can never get and it drives me insane, cause she’s supposed to be here and deep down I know I’m not” James voice was a wreck and even as Regulus tried comforting him it wasn’t something he was really used to doing, and honestly he avoided it at all cost.
James was here though, for the first time ever actually talking about how he felt and Regulus didn’t want to break the delicate bubble. He held James for as long as he wanted and only pulled away when James did. “Sorry” James mumbled, quickly wiping away his tears and trying to smile. It was wobbly and looked ready to break.
Despite everything happening Regulus couldn’t help but notice just how gorgeous James is. Beautiful wind swept hair even though they hadn’t even been at the beach that long and beautiful lashes that still had a few tear drops hanging on to them like a lifeline that framed gorgeous hazel eyes that were rimmed red from his tears. His beautiful nose that was red at the tip from all his sniffling and amazing full lips that Regulus always wanted to touch.
“I wish it didn’t happen at all, if I’m being honest, but I’ll very proudly and selfishly say I’m so happy it wasn’t you and if the only way to keep you was for Marlene to die then I can’t really be that upset if your always in my arms can I?” Regulus said, hands cupping James face and wiping away his tears.
James sucked in a sharp breath and shook his head, breaking away from Regulus' touch. “Don’t ever say that” James said sternly, voice clogged with flem and emotion. Regulus shrugged and stepped closer to James. “I’ll say it as many times as it takes for you to realise that life wouldn’t be the same without your love” Regulus said, once again cupping James face and relaxing when he didn’t pull away.
“It’s wrong” James mumbled, his eyes closed as he relaxed into Regulus’ touch. “Probably, but I don’t care,” Regulus replied honestly, heart beating wildly in his chest as he realised just how precious James was, how special they were. This beautiful being in his hand was his and he’d protect and love James for the rest of his life.
After James had taken some time to calm down they went down to the beach together.
James
James had just gotten out of the water and was at the edge of the ocean, letting the tide wash over him anytime it came back, hoping to find something for the beautiful boy who was reading a book.
“Interesting rocks there Mr. Potter” Lily said in a fake posh voice. James laughed, “I’m finding one for Regulus ” he admits sheepishly, Lily softens and turns back to look at Regulus. “I don’t know how I didn’t see this, it’s so obvious” Lily said, making James blush again under her understanding gaze.
James just shrugged “I think it was always going to be Regulus, Just how you knew it was always going to be Mary” James said thoughtfully, picking through the three pebbles in his hands. Lily hummed, her eyes getting more worried as her eyes ping ponged between James and Regulus.
“Be careful with your heart James” Lily said softly and stood up, leaving James with the gaping worry that she knew too that Regulus was slipping out his hands. He didn’t even get the chance to tell her, “It’s too late, it’s already his” James whispered into the silence and dropped the other two rocks until the shiny black pebble with silver accents was the only one in his palm.
James walked over to Regulus and sat beside him, hand out and waiting for Regulus to notice him, always waiting on Regulus. “Hi love” Regulus said once he had closed his book. His cheeks were a beautiful rosy red from the sun and his green eyes were so bright they almost seemed grey, “I got you something” James said motioning to the pebble in his hand. Regulus beamed and snatched it up, his delicate fingers started wiping over the pebble and his eyes were roaming over every crevice, every dip and every line. James knew that Regulus was desperately trying to commit everything about the rock to memory because that’s exactly how Regulus looks at James when he’s afraid he’ll leave.
James has to turn away from the sight and wipe away his tears, trying to ignore the beat of his heart that sounds strangely like Marlene’s voice. This is going to hurt, she says and James can’t help but gasp in air to quiet down the sob that he needs to let out. Yeah Marls, it really will, he thinks.
Regulus
Regulus had an amazing day at the beach, for the first time he and Sirius actually got along and nobody got into any fights, the sun had long dipped below the ocean and they were left with the light from their phones and the campfire Barty and James were able to make.
It was far too late and way too dark to try and even attempt to drive home, so they had decided to stay the night at the beach. Sirius had gone to his car and pulled out three bottles of wine that Regulus was pretty sure used to be for their mother, he didn’t question it and drank when it was passed to him.
The situation strongly reminded him of when they were gathered around at the Before I Die wall. Well actually, as a lump formed in Regulus' throat he thought it was better to forget that night all together. He closed his eyes and let James distract him, his arms were wrapped tightly around Regulus’ mid section and his head was resting atop Regulus’. He was having a low conversation with Pandora about Bio.
It wasn’t particularly interesting but Regulus listened nonetheless, eventually the quiet tranquility of the group cracked and the first few shouts were heard, across from where James, Regulus and Pandora were. They ignored it at first but after a while Sirius seemed to have gained the upper hand and pushed Barty to the ground before beating the shit out of him.
That got everyone out of their seats fairly quickly. Remus was standing just behind his boyfriend staring at Barty with pure and unbridled fear, the look made Regulus freeze up a few feet away as his mind whirled with what could make Remus look like that?
James was able to pull Sirius off eventually, and Barty just laughed in his face, blood was trickling slowly down his mouth and he had a black eye, other than that he didn’t seem too hurt. Evan was at Barty's side in a heartbeat, hands flying over his face as Barty glared at Sirius.
“You shut your mouth Crouch” Sirius seethed, still fighting against James. Regulus was so confused, he’d never seen Sirius lash out like that to anyone, especially Barty who was basically his partner in crime and actual crime partner.
“Sirius” Barty said, all energy leaving him “Sirius, please” Barty begged and Regulus didn’t know what hurt more to look at the look on Siirus’ face or Barty’s voice “Shut up, shut up” Sirius screamed, lashing out against James once more as he tried making his way to Barty.
“You can’t save him Sirius, not this time. The sooner you accept this the easier it will be” Barty said softly, hand coming up to tangle with Evan’s, tears streaming down his face. Regulus had never seen Barty cry, not when Marlene died, not when Dorcas basically disappeared, never once. He was broken out of his thoughts when he heard Sirius’ desperate voice. “It seems like you're going to go kill him or something Crouch?”
Who is him? Regulus wondered, stepping closer to the commotion, he seemed to be the only one confused as he looked at all his friends, they all had haunted eyes, eyes of acceptance and even fear. “Regulus will do that for himself!” Barty screamed, voice cracking at the end, and well it really is quite funny how shock works isn’t it?
Regulus stops walking, and the last thought Regulus has is Huh, funny how quickly bad things happen.
Regulus doesn't really know much of anything but he can tell you this, he blinks, and Sirius has broken out of James' hold, he blinks and Pandora is in front of him tears streaming down her face, he blinks and James pushes Pandora out the way.
He blinks and all his friends stare at Sirius and Barty, he blinks and feels James hands on him, warm hands trying to get Regulus to talk, to react to do anything.
He blinks and Sirius is punching Barty again as his laughs echo on the beach, mingled with Sirius’ broken cries. Regulus blinks and has another thought, a memory of how perfect everything was just an hour ago, how James looked in the light from the flames or how loud and carefree Sirius bark of laughter was, Mary and Lily walking around collecting shells, orororororororororororororororor….
Maybe Regulus never knew his friends at all.