Tell me pretty lies
Peter Pettigrew was not shy.
If there were to be any misunderstandings about him, it would not be that. Because Peter was not shy, he simply chose to observe and choose who he talked to wisely. Unfortunately for him to the people who didn't know him this deemed him and 'the shy marauder'
But Peter Pettigrew was not shy and he was not socially awkward and so given all of these facts he was not nervous.
In fact despite popular opinion he rarely got nervous in situations like these. You see today was Saturday and since it was Saturday the students of Hogwarts got to pop over to Hogsmede and hang out in the town all day. This however was a special visit because today would be the first day that two worlds collided. Because today was the day that the friends of James Potter and the friends of Regulus Black came together to honor their relationship. Truthfully Peter had purposefully distanced himself from the 'secret relationship of Jegulus' because he knew it would blow up quite dramatically (truthfully anything that involved Sirius Black was bound to be dramatic). But Peter had pretended to be oblivious when James loudly sneaked out of the dorm when he thought no one was awake. He pretended not to notice when James showed up with vibrant purple bruises on his neck. He definitely pretended not to notice the heated looks both him and Regulus would send to each other. Now to his credit Peter did try at first. He asked James if he wanted to talk about it when he had a 'bad day' suspiciously timed with when a brave Ravenclaw came up and asked for Regulus' potions notes but by the third 'nah it's nothing' and the fifth 'Don't worry about it Wormy' Peter had declared it not his problem.
They had figured it out of course, he heard it was glorious and he's not sure if he was regretful or thankful that the morning that Regulus had been too hungover to go back to the dungeons and Sirius just so happened to be the one to pull open the curtains of James' bed Peter was far away in the greenhouse. Though he swore he could hear Sirius' scream of horror. By the time Peter got back to the dorm he found James with an ice pack to his eye and some tissues plugging his nose. While Sirius had a small cut on his lip and was icing the back of his head. Peter knew at that moment that he was thankful not to be in the dorm room that morning.
It was now a week later and thanks to James both groups had to come together on this trip and 'bond'. Peter didn't care much though because it didn't matter what events went down his night would always be the same. People would shake his hand and say something close to 'wow it's so good to meet you Peter'. Some would try to hold a conversation with him and ask filler questions even though they had no real interest in the answer. Then they would move on to someone more interesting like James or Sirius and he'd be left to his observing in peace. This never bothered Peter because he knew who he was and who he was, was the friend who faded into the background. Not because Peter wasn't great because (if he does say so himself) he's pretty freaking great. But how was he supposed to compete when he was up against James Potter who was so bright that you just felt like you had to know him, or Sirius Black that could easily command anyone's attention with the bat of his incredibly beautiful eyelashes, or Remus Lupin who despite thinking is an outcast is one of the hottest guys in Hogwarts so of course he would cause a few eyes to follow. It was never really a problem for Peter because he didn't like eyes on him anyway he preferred his shadows but there were times when he wished that he was more like his friends, sometimes he wished to be adored...to be noticed.
There were upsides to being the quiet one though and that was being able to hear all of the gossip that spread around about them. People would rather die than let any of the other three hear what outrageous things they came up with but with Peter they wanted him to hear. They wanted to see if he'd give a reaction or some sort of clue to see if the gossip is true. This worked out for Peter because he was a terrible gossip and would eat it up every time. His favorite was the theory that he was in love with James and hated Sirius because he took the love of his life away. It was his favorite because it couldn't be farther from the truth. First of all, he loved James with all his heart but he would never be in love with that oaf. With Sirius he did get how people would think that. Him and James were best friends for pretty much their whole childhood before they met Sirius and while yes in first year it hurt and it felt like he was being replaced but that feeling only lasted a month at best. It was because he knew that those two boys needed each other in a way that James never needed Peter and he had decided that he would rather them have that in each other than not have it. He also loved Sirius with every cell in his body because there were things that Peter could only go to Sirius for and he knew he'd be safe. Like when the pressure from his mother about his weight got to be too much or when as a direct outcome from that Peter had stopped eating what he knew he was supposed to be. Sirius was there and he made it better and he had the sparkle that Peter couldn't help but feel safe with. Peter loved Sirius because he cared, sometimes he would even care a little too much... like Peter was his little chick that would never be able to leave the nest. So Peter loved his friends and he knew that they loved him. He knew that the times they would cut him off from what he was saying or leave him behind at a party to go get shagged wasn't on purpose. They didn't mean it in a malicious way. So he loved his friends and they loved him.
"Yes Wormy, you're very pretty. Now would you quit hogging the mirror please?" Peter jumped a little as he was pulled from his mind.
"Oh yeah sorry Re" He took one last look into the mirror making sure to straighten out his hair and check one more time to his waistline. Was this the wrong outfit choice? Would I even be able to change if it is? Oh god does this vest make me look blo-
"Dammnn Pete! Don't you look fine as hell today." Sirius exclaimed as he came out from the bathroom door. It made Peter want to start hysterically laugh because Sirius was saying this while the bathroom light and the steam from the shower made him look like an actual Greek God. He knew he couldn't though because Sirius had been doing this ever since last summer when things had gotten really bad. Sirius had told him that he was perfect just the way he was and all he needed was confidence and if Peter couldn't do it himself then Sirius would just have to be his confidence for him.
"Yeah, yeah, thanks Pads" Peter did a fake bow as both Sirius and James whistled. It made Peter simultaneously want to tackle his friends in a hug and be swallowed up in a black hole.
"Alright, is everyone ready? Cause at this rate we're gonna be late." Remus lightly rounded them to get out of the dorm and they made their trek to the three broomsticks. On the way they met up with the girls. Not that he would ever admit it out loud but he loved being with the girls, sometimes more than being with the marauders. It was only when the insecurities and the pain of not being seen got too much that he would run to one of the girls. They always seemed to understand a little more than the guys would but still not enough. So he smiled and he nodded when people would try to point something out to him but otherwise he stayed quiet.
By the time they finally reached three broomsticks the Slytherins were already waiting for them. They all quickly agreed that it would be better to split up into two groups since there were too many people for all of them to sit together. The girls decided that they would all rather sit together so that left the 7 boys to a table. Peter thought that it would be best for him to just keep his head down and stay quiet while this whole process happened. As they were waiting for their table to be cleaned James deemed it as the right time to make introductions.
"Hey um Hi, I'm James. I don't think we've officially met." He gave his usual charming smile as he awkwardly waved his left hand. As if Regulus could sense his awkwardness the younger black shifted closer to James and gently took his arm.
"Well ain't he a pretty one Reg" At the sound of the new voice Petters eyes snapped up.
Oh hell no, why why why- "Oh keep it in your pants Barty, he's clearly taken."
Oh of course he's here too because the universe really just wanted to make my life a living hell.
"That's Evan and that's Barty. Feel free to ignore them for the whole day." Regulus said it with a glare that to most would look absolutely menacing and very terrifying but Peter could also see the slight fondness under the icy facade.
"Aww cmon Reggie don't be mean to your friends. They seem absolutely lovely! I'm Sirius, the better looking brother."
"Yeah and I'm Remus" Peter couldn't help the snort that left him. He knew what Remus was doing, whenever there was someone he thought would catch Padfoot's eye he made sure to be the biggest cockblock you've ever seen. Which in this case meant talking before any flirting could happen. Peter was the only one out of the group that knew about Moony's large crush on Sirius, mostly because he happened to be there the night that it got to be too much for Remus and he gushed his guts out to Peter who was ambushed on his bed. Ever since then Peter has been trying to push the two idiots together. His snort however was quickly regretted and not because of the death glare that was getting from the werewolf but because of the two unfairly attractive sets of eyes that were now on him.
"Pettigrew? I didn't know you were gonna be here." The smug smile that Barty flashed his way made him want to chug pesticide to kill the butterflies in his stomach.
"Um, yeah...hi" Peter felt the intense need to run from there immediately but he knew that he couldn't because running meant that he had to admit that something was wrong later when the guys inevitably pestered him about it. So Peter smiled and looked at Evan because even though looking at him made him feel a strong wave of embarrassment it wasn't as bad as looking at Barty. He had opened his mouth to give a greeting to the blonde boy when he was interrupted.
"How do you know Peter?" Crap that was Sirius' mom voice. He needed to stop this topic before Sirius went full mom mode and knowing Barty he would just make it worse.
"We just had a class together last year, that's all."
"What class?"
"Herbology" Peter mumbled as he looked anywhere but at Sirius or Remus. He knew that one look was all it would take for Sirius to work out that it was a big fat lie because Barty was much more than just a classmate and Peter could already tell that Remus put it together that Barty was the guy he had gushed to Remus about after he had spilled the beans about Sirius. Curse you Remus why you gotta be so bloody intuitive, the prick.
You see, Peter had two crushes in his 5th year at Hogwarts which was a pretty big deal for him because Peter Pettigrew did not do crushes. Sure he thought people were attractive and he certainly wouldn't say no if they came up and offered to shag him but he never wanted to date them. But Godrick did he want to date these blokes and just because the universe truly did hate him the two guys that he liked were Slytherin and just so happened to start dating each other.
He had first seen Evan last year when he walked into his potions class. Only him and James were in it because of their embarrassing talent for being so bad at potions, so they were in the lowest class that a 5th year could take and it just so happened to be the highest a 4th year could. He didn't mean to stare, he really didn't but Evan was beautiful, he had this grace about him while he was chopping the ingredients and Peter couldn't even explain the brightness of his smile. At first he was convinced that he just found him attractive, he just liked the way that his body looked and that was it. Well that was until Slughorn had called Evan up to explain some stupid stirring technique. The boy had explained it with such ease and Peter couldn't get over how pretty his voice was. But it wasn't only that because there was something addictive about listening to the way that Evan Rosier's mind worked. Peter knew right then and there that he was hooked.
Barty though, Barty was different because until after winter break Peter didn't know that Barty Crouch Jr existed. Okay well that's a stretch, he knew that Barty existed because well Barty was fine with a capital F and more often than not was the talk of the school but Peter didn't feel anything because he knew Barty Crouch. He was the type of bloke to flirt his way in or out of any situation while simultaneously being the most unhinged prick in the whole school. Barty was not a good person and Peter knew that. At least he thought he did. So you can imagine Peter's disdain when he had been paired with Crouch for the entire quarter to look after a mandrake. At first Peter avoided all conversation at any cost but that proved to be dumb seeing as how they needed to talk in order to keep a plant alive. Peter learned the hard way that ignoring Barty made him restless and making Barty Crouch Jr restless made him dangerous. So a week into Peter giving him the silent treatment, Barty almost blew up the back of the greenhouse and it was only almost because Peter gave in and yelled at him to cut it out before he poured the last chemical. In response Barty just gave him a smug smirk and went back to twirling his wand lazily. After that they fell into a weird dynamic, where Barty would make suggestive comments and Peter would respond with insults. It was especially unusual for Peter because he's never had this kind of dynamic with anyone before. He was supposed to be the kind one. It had taken him almost a month before he decided that this tactic was not working out and so he needed a new plan. This new plan seemed to be trying to flirt back with Crouch because Peter knew from the rumors that once the 'chase' was over for him Barty simply stopped. So Peter flirted and he could still see the pure shock on Barty's face the first time he did it.
'C'mon pretty boy just give me a chance, I'll make it so good for you, I swear' It's always exceedingly annoying when Barty calls him that stupid nickname cause it does something to him every time and Barty being the arsehole he was would always notice. The smug smirk that rested on Barty's face was the final straw to get him to initiate his plan.
'Yeah? You think you can handle me gorgeous' Internally Peter was freaking out but he had to do this because he wanted more than anything to get a reaction out of the bloke and if insults weren't gonna do it then maybe this will. It delivered, it delivered so beautifully that Peter knew he was hooked. It took Barty a second to compose the shock and excitement that crossed his face and Peter reveled in that second where he had bested the Barty Crouch Jr.
'Yeah baby, I'm pretty sure I can' The look that Crouch sent him made a shiver run straight up his back and Peter needed more. So he hummed and channeled all of the inner Sirius he had to return the look before turning back to their plant. He couldn't help the satisfied smirk that took place when he heard the shaky sigh that the other boy let out.
Spoiler alert: that was a bad idea. So bad that if Peter didn't have bad idea factories for friends he would've said it was the worst idea he's ever had. Alas he did it and there were so many times where he tried, he tried really hard to stop the flirting and the looks and the banter but it was like a drug and Peter Pettigrew never claimed to have self control. The transition from fake flirting to real flirting was so seamless that it would've scared Peter if he was too caught up in it and the transition from flirting to having real honest feelings made him want to cry. All it took was one stupid weekend detention because they were talking in class for Peter to realize that there was more to Barty than he thought and that he really liked the real Barty.
So Peter had a big fat embarrassing crush on Barty Crouch Jr but it was fine because he didn't tell anyone, except for Moony because he felt like he deserved something in return for telling him about Sirius but even then he only called him 'A guy in my herbology class'. So he kept it a secret and by the time the quarter was almost over Peter had talked himself up to asking Crouch out. He really thought that he had a chance because there was no way that he could feel this much for a guy and he felt nothing at all. So he had to try and he had to be brave, he didn't get into Gryffindor for nothing. It was kind of ironic really that on the day that Peter was going to ask him that he heard a few 3rd year girls talking in the hall.
'Did you see Crouch and Rosier today? Oh my god they are so hot' Peter had to actively fight down the blush that threatened to invade his face at the sound of both his crushes' names.
'Yeah but too bad they play for the wrong team' Well that was definitely new information. Peter had a well informed hunch that Barty likes guys too but hearing it made him all the more confident.
'Wait no way, are you sure?'
'Yeah I mean have you seen them? They're all over each other." What? 'Wait are you joking? I thought they were just friends' 'Nope they're dating' No this couldn't be true, people thought he was dating James all of the time. This was just another rumor.
'Oh please! How would you know?'
'I'm a slytherin idiot. I saw them snogging in the common room. Then when Snape tried to say something Crouch snapped and called Rosier his boyfriend. It was awesome.' Peter stopped listening to the girls after that. It was hard to listen to anything when you can hear both your heart and confidence breaking.
He had skipped Herbology that day and thanked his lucky stars that it was Friday. He only had to endure 3 classes with Barry before he could escape to his house and get over the stupid crush. That night he had embarrassingly broken down in front of the guys before they headed down for dinner. He had left out Bartys name of course and didn't mention the crush he had on Evan but other than that he told them everything. They were livid, he'd never seen them so riled up for him before. They said the 'guy' had led him on and that he played with Peter's feelings. James had demanded that Peter gave him a name and he almost did, a part of him wanted to make Barty hurt but he knew, he knew that it wasn't his fault it was Peter's because he was stupid and he got attached and it wasn't Barty's fault that Peter had wanted more than what he offered. So Peter held out and he wouldn't give a name and on the last three days neither Barty nor Peter said a word to each other. Then they moved back to their original seats and everyone in the class seemed to forget about the duo. It didn't matter now because okay yes Peter still had a humiliating crush on both of the blokes that were now dating each other and yes Peter hated himself a little bit more than he already did because of it (who knew that he could do that?). He should've known that they were gonna be here.
Who exactly did you think was gonna show up when James said 'Regulus friends were gonna be there'?
Well you made your bed Peter.