Medic
Lottie Hardwick knew Aura Page. Not personally of course but she’d heard of her around the hospital. The miracle surgeries and treatments that everyone doubted, yet they never failed. Not to mention her groundbreaking theories about cancer that she was both praised and judged for. Yes, Lottie knew of Aura Page, but she didn’t think Aura knew her. So when she stood at the end of the long hallway watching Dr. Page sit with shaking hands on the leather bench after a failed surgery, she froze at first. Then took one hesitant step forward, then another until she stood over the cheerful woman. Aura didn’t seem to notice, she just kept picking at her nails, navy with north lights carefully painted on Lottie noticed off handed, rubbing one calloused hand over the other again and again. Steeling her nerves Lottie took a breath and sat down next to her. It took a few moments but Doctor Page finally spoke.
“I became a doctor to help people, you know? I want to cure cancer because I know how it feels, the despair the helplessness. It’s soul crushing, you feel so powerless. I think another part of me also wanted to be the one with the power, be the one holding the scalpel. It’s funny, I think having the power is even worse, we have someone’s life in our hands. It’s crazy.” She said, laughing bitterly at the end. Then she took another deep breath and continued.
“I just feel like, why did I ever think I could do this?” Lottie spoke up.
“Aura, can I call you Aura? Yes? Ok, Aura, you are an amazing doctor, everyone loses a patient at some point. This wasn’t your fault.”
“This isn’t my first time losing a patient. Back home, we don’t have all these fancy machines. It’s just us. Sometimes, we treat someone as best we can, we work all day then turn in for the night and in the morning their body is already cold. Maybe, maybe if we hadn’t gone to bed they would have lived. People always say the I have to help myself if I want to help others but it doesn’t feel like it.” Lottie was shocked, she didn’t know where Aura was from but she couldn’t imagine having to deal with that. She didn’t know what to say, but apparently she didn’t need to.
“I have 7 siblings. Back home I mean. Some nights I lie in bed and imagine what I would do if I lost one of them. I love my family, I want to be the best I can be for them. I know that they look up to me, I heard Lila bragging about me the other day. I just, I feel like I’m not the person they think I am.”
“Aura, you have the highest success rate of everyone in this place, but you can’t save everyone. You’re an amazing doctor, I aspire to be like you. But I think that until now I didn’t really realize that you are a lot like me. Scared of screwing up. Your siblings love you, perfect or not. Maybe you couldn’t save your patient this time but there’s always next time.” Lottie stood up gaining confidence and reached out her hand.
“It’s almost lunch, why don’t we go grab something to eat and you can tell me all about your family.” Aura smiled and took my hand, pulling herself up.
Yes, Lottie Hardwick knew Doctor Page. The friendly doctor with miracle cures and groundbreaking research. But she also knew Aura, the kind soul always willing to lend a hand, the family woman who had photos of all her loved ones in her wallet. The girl scared to let people and patients down, the hospital legend that at the end of the day was just human. *1*
*1* Except she’s actually not human. Lol.