Harry wasn’t one to really break rules. Though he supposes he’s broke more rules than he could count. Not on purpose. Trouble just seems to follow him everywhere he goes. Besides the point, Potter was quite frustrated with a couple of things that kept poking at his mind the past couple of days. Usually things like that didn’t bother him and Harry would just focus on other things. But for some reason he couldn’t let this thing go. Taking a walk around Hogwarts seemed like the only good idea he could think of. Maybe he could wait till morning but tossing and turning in his bed wasn’t something he wanted to do for the rest of the night. So he slipped on some slippers, grabbed a cloak and his wand. A simply cast of Lumos helped with seeing in the dark. He wasn’t supposed to be walking around at night, but Potter didn’t really care at the moment. Harry hummed quietly to himself before hearing quiet crying from a bathroom he passed. It wasn’t exactly ‘quiet’ because Harry could hear it loud and clear from the other side.
He retracted his steps letting curiosity get the best of him. Potter walked closer towards the bathroom doors, pressing his ear against it, wanting to know if he was just hearing things or not. But no he wasn’t just hearing things, someone was actually crying. Harry was about to leave but he really wanted to know who was crying this late at night in the bathroom instead of just in their dorm room. Potter was nosy, but so was every other 7th year here. Always managing to get some piece of drama. He quietly opened the door and stepped inside, closing it behind him. Harry took a few steps inside still hearing the person crying. At first he didn’t recognize the figure until he looked closer. It was Draco Malfoy. Malfoy crying? Impossible. What does he have to cry over? “You crying, Malfoy?” Harry whispered loudly, before he could stop himself. He snapped his mouth shut and shoved his wand behind his back after realizing what he just said. Potter didn’t really care to know why Malfoy was crying. But the curiosity was chewing at him from the inside out. He did really want to know.
Draco who has been staring in the mirror for the past hour wanting to bang his head against the wall and has also been crying, froze. He had been caught. Caught crying. His natural instinct was to freeze. Draco didn’t move, he didn’t know what to do. This wasn’t supposed to happen and yet here he was with Harry Potter catching him. He was then quick to pull his sleeves down, finally realizing what was happening, and decided pulling his wand out would be the best option. Malfoy turned around and pointed his wand directly at Potter.
“Leave, Potter. Before I make you regret it.” His chest rose up and down fast like he was trying to catch his breath. His eyes were red and puff, tear strikes still going down his cheeks. Hair an absolute mess. His eyebrows furrowed together almost making him look angry. But Harry knew he was far from that.
“I was just asking if you’re crying. No need to be a pwat.” Harry spat out clearly growing annoyed. But the more he stared at Malfoy the more he grew a little worried. They were supposed to be enemies, yes, but for some reason Harry seeing the state he was in made his stomach churn and the pit forming wasn’t helping that much. He decided to ignore it.
Draco didn’t hold his wand for long before shoving it back into his waist band and turning back around pulling his sleeve up on his left arm. He started to repeatedly scratch at it hoping the burning would go and when it didn’t more tears slid down his face as he fell to his knees sobbing. Malfoy felt like he was panicking. It was a horrible feeling to feel something he felt too often for his comfort. But it was the only thing he ever felt. It was something he was so familiar with. He kept desperately scratching his arm as blood started to show.
Harry froze. He has never seen Draco in this position before, so… vulnerable looking. It was almost scary. Potter walked closer hoping to see what was wrong and it wasn’t until he saw the mark on his left arm and the blood dripping from it when Harry finally understood what was going on. Potter froze. HIs mouth opened and closed not knowing what to really say. It wasn’t until he snapped out whatever hazed he was in and ran to grab paper towels. He wetted them a little and quickly dropped to his knees in front of Malfoy. Harry gently grabbed his left arm wanting to make sure Draco wouldn’t hurt himself any further. That didn’t help the bleeding but nor was Malfoy snatching his arm away from him.
“Will you stop? You’re only making it worse for yourself.” Harry spat out quite irritated. He resisted the urge to roll his eyes and instead stood up and grabbing more paper towels. He managed to grab a hand full of them and dropped back in front of Malfoy. Potter grabbed his left arm again, making sure to look Malfoy in the eyes. Like he was waiting to see if he would snatch his arm away again, but when he didn’t move, Harry slowly placed some of the paper towels on his arm and slowly started wiping away the blood. Once most of it was gone he placed another and put pressure making Draco flinch. Harry apologized quietly before continuing doing what he was doing.
The burning had gone away by now and Draco was beyond confused on why Harry Potter was helping him. So confused he had to ask. He asked the question that seemed to burn in his head.
“Why are you helping me?” Draco whispered. His voice ruff, no doubt from all the crying. Harry hadn’t noticed it before but now he was starting to notice the little things he wish he didn’t.
“I . . .” Harry thought about it, but nothing came to his mind. Absolutely nothing. “I don’t know.” He mumbled after a while.
“You — You don’t have to do any of this.” Draco suddenly blurted out. “Yet here you are helping me. Someone who has bullied you continuously for years.” Malfoy seemed to start mumbling on and on. Pouring everything out. “Why do you always help people that wish death upon you? That could hate you so much . . . even you could hate that person and still help them.” He hitched his breath a little feeling Potter go over a certain spot that hurt. Harry stopped then continued to do what he was doing. “It’s like — .”
“Malfoy.” Harry tried. He didn’t need Malfoy doing all this. Especially on the bathroom floor at almost 2am in the morning.
“I envy you, Potter.”
Harry removed his hand from Draco’s arm. “What? What do you mean?” He asked, confused. Hearing Malfoy be so vulnerable was surprising to him. His voice so soft when whispering, Potter thought he was going crazy even thinking that.
“Potter, I envy you. I don’t even fully understand why.” A small laugh leaves his lips. “I — I can’t even wrap my head around when I started to notice the little changes of things. My feelings towards you.”
“Malfoy — “
“I want you.”
Harry paused everything he was doing to look at Draco. His brows furrowed together in confusion as his mouth opened and closed to say something, anything to get rid of the deafening silence that seemed to start swallowing him whole.
“What?” Confusion lacing his voice very promptly.
“Don’t you understand? I want you, Potter. I want you more than you could imagine. I want you to want me. All of me. I need you to want me.” Draco managed to say all in one breath. “That night, in the hallways when I crashed into you looking an absolute mess. I knew that you had been kissing a girl secretly. I went to my room and cried. I cried! I mean . . I thought it was because I wanted everything you have but it wasn’t. It was because you were kissing a girl and I wanted that girl to be me.”
Potter opened his mouth once more to say something but nothing came out. He didn’t know what to say. Draco Malfoy just confessed his feelings to him. His enemy. Someone he was supposed to hate just confessed his feelings. Someone he has hated since year 1 of Hogwarts. The one who made fun and bullied him for so many years just confessed. But the more Harry thought about the more he realized that over the past 2 years the bullying seemed to subtle. Like Malfoy realized before he even came to full terms with it.
“I don’t need you to say anything. Don’t say a word. We go back to being enemies. Like this never happened.”
“But Malfoy — “ Harry tried once more.
“No, I don’t want to hear it. Just - . . . don’t say anything.” He cut Potter off, whispering the last part and looked away from Harry. He couldn’t face him right now. Not after he just poured his heart out to him and confessed everything on the floor of a bathroom. Harry nodded his head and changed out the paper towels on Draco’s arm. It was silent because Harry decided not to say anything about what Malfoy has just said.
“You need to get some bandages.” Harry let a small sigh out while balling up some of the paper towels that he used.
“I’ll be fine.” Draco muttered quietly.
Harry suddenly felt a pang of anger. “No. No you won’t be, Malfoy. You — You can’t keep harming yourself like this. It’s not healthy. It’s self harm.” He spat matter of factly. Clearly Draco wasn’t taking it seriously.
“I’ll live.”
“You don’t know that.”
Draco stayed quiet.
“Ok, you’re right”
Potter paused from hearing those words. “I’m right? You think Harry Potter is right?” Harry says in almost disbelief. A small smile raising in his lips as he avoided eye contact with Malfoy not wanting to show that he was smiling.
“Shut up.” Draco whispers while turning his head away slightly as he tried to hide the smirk on his lips.
“No, I want you to say it again. Say that I am right.” Potter finally looked up to make eye contact with Draco.
Malfoy bit his lower lip trying to hide his smirk as his eyes reached Harrys. “Why would I do that, Potter?”
“Because you like me, Malfoy.” Harry whispered.
Draco let a fake sigh out. “You’re right”
“Mm, yeah. I know.” Harry replied smugly.
Malfoy kept his smirk on his lips while Harry continued to clean up the blood on his arm. There was a lot, but the more he cleaned around the wound and on it the blood seemed to appear less and less. Silence filled the air quickly. Until Potter spoke up.
“So, the mark . . . “ Harry nodded towards the mark on his left arm. “You’re a death eater.” Curiosity was biting at Potter. He knows it’s a death eater mark. Just didn’t expect Draco to have one. But maybe he should’ve.
Draco winced slightly from the term as his smirk disappeared from his lips. He didn’t like it. The words made him feel dirty. Unwanted. Made him realize he really didn’t have a choice.
“Not by choice.”
“I’m sorry.”
Malfoy stayed quiet.
“We should leave. Don’t want to be caught.”
“Right.”
Harry helped Draco up and helped him get cleaned up. Nothing seemed awkward between the two. Potter wetted a paper towel and went over to Draco. He grabbed Malfoy’s left arm again and stayed to slowly wipe away the blood that was drying. Draco watched him and then used his right hand to cup his cheek. Harry paused what he was doing and waited to see what he would do. Malfoy rubbed his thumb lightly against Potter’s cheek going in circler motions. Harry instinctively leaned into his touch while finishing up what he was doing. He would’ve been shocked but nothing seemed to surprise him anymore. Especially since everything that’s happened. But for some reason Draco’s hand was warmer than he expected. Potter would’ve thought his hand would be cold and icy. Instead it had Harry wanting to feel Draco’s warmth not just through his hand but through the rest of his body. He quickly shook his thoughts away.
Then the two parted ways. Draco went to the med-wing making up some sort of excuse of what happened, (even though the doctor didn’t believe him, she still helped deciding to not say anything. A promise if you will.) and Harry, who went back to the common room only to have Hermione and Ron already waiting for him wondering what he was doing walking around at night. He ignored the questions and just said, “I needed some air.” And waved them off going to bed only to lay awake worried about Malfoy for some reason.
———
The next morning Harry caught sight of Draco entering the great hall with Blaise and Pansy. He watched them from a far and could see Blaise’s eyes wander towards the Ravenclaw table. Already knowing who he was looking for. It was quite obvious and neither tried to hide it. Harry watched Malfoy laugh with the two as they sat down where they always sat. The spot they’ve sat at for years now. Always across from the Golden trio. Harry wondered what he was laughing about. Then Draco caught his eyes. He smirked slightly before winking and then turned back to his friends laughing more. Potter turned back around with a light blush against his cheeks. Although it wasn’t that visible against his skin tone, Hermione seemed to notice his flustered state, eyeing him for a second before deciding to ignore it and going back to whatever Ron was yapping about. Breakfast was quick, a little boring too, but the trio made their way to their first class of the day. It was boring so after the fourth class Harry decided to look for Malfoy. He wanted to see if he bandaged up the wounds he created. Harry walked near the Slytherin dormitory hoping to catch sight of him but when he didn’t he started walking back towards the great halls. Dinner was supposed to start soon, earlier than usual. But then he saw Malfoy, unfortunately for Harry he was talking with his little friend group. Harry walked past them with his head down, only to look up slightly and catch Draco’s eyes with his. The corner of his lips turned down for a couple seconds before he looked away.
Harry wanted to know what was wrong with him. Why the sudden change of mood. So he looked back to Malfoy and nodded his head slightly and started walking towards the bathroom. He entered and waited near the sinks hoping that Malfoy got the hint to follow him.
He did. Draco excused himself to the bathroom and told his friends to go to dinner and that he would meet them there. Malfoy left to where he knew Harry would be. When he entered, Draco saw Potter leaned against the sink while picking at his nails.
“You need something, Potter?” Draco asked while crossing his arms and looking Harry up and down while moving towards him. Harry looked up at him and frowned slightly. His mood has definitely changed since this morning. Maybe something happened earlier.
“Your arm.” Harry pointed at his arm. Draco looked down at it and looked away from Potter.
“Nothing wrong with it, clearly.” Draco coldly replied. It wasn’t odd hearing Malfoy talk like that to him. But Harry needed to know how his arm was.
“I want to see it.”
“It hasn’t been a full day yet.”
“I don’t care.”
Draco stayed still for a moment before finally stepping forward towards Potter. His arms fell to his sides as he approached Harry. He then waited for him to do something. Harry grabbed Draco’s arm and raised his sleeve up. He saw the bandage while pulling his sleeve up. But of course the doors of the bathroom slammed open causing Draco to snatch his arm away quickly while grabbing onto Harry’s wrist. Then dragged him into a bathroom stall while closing the door behind him.
Harry stayed quiet as Malfoy pushed him onto the toilet seat. Instinctively Potter raised his feet up slightly so they wouldn’t be seen underneath the stall. It was because an incident that happened 4 months ago. Two kids were caught making out in a bathroom stall and rumors went around. So every time someone wanted to do something with someone one person would raise their feet up or else you’ll be caught, even if you two weren’t doing anything in the bathrooms. They also always manage to know who the two people are. So neither Malfoy or Potter need rumors going around about the two being caught in the bathroom. But the bathroom stalls were smaller in here rather than anywhere else. So when Harry lifted his head to look up at Draco he felt his cheeks burn at the position they were in. Malfoy was practically in between his thighs, knees knocking on the sides of them. His hands were placed on either side of the stall walls as his head was turned slightly away from Harry’s, like he was trying to listen to the conversation that was going on on the other side of the door. That’s when Potter saw his cheeks. They were bright pink, red even if he looked hard enough. His lips parted from how pretty Draco looked like this. His eyebrows furrowed together, biting his lip slightly, hair a little messy, and cheeks red.
Laughter, laughter. Then the door opening and closing. Harry let a breath escape his mouth that he didn’t even know he was holding. But he didn’t waste any time, letting his hand go and grab Malfoy’s arm while pulling his sleeve up. The bandage looked untouched. Which should be a good thing. It still worries Harry for a reason he can’t place.
“It looks fine.”
“I know it is.” Draco snatched his arm away while dragging his sleeve back down. “Got to get to dinner before rumors start.”
They talked about who goes first and who goes second. Draco is first, since he didn’t want his friends worrying about him. Harry goes into the great hall after 40 minutes. Dinner was ok. Harry wasn’t. He felt off with the whole thing. How Malfoy confessed his feelings. How Potter feels the exact same way but doesn’t know if he should tell him or not because it could go wrong in so many ways. He doesn’t know when he realized he liked Draco. But Harry knew he always had these feelings for him.
Harry snuck out again. This time he was just walking around hoping that no one would catch him. But he was pretty good at not being caught. Something he always did. Hid. Hide from others. He ended up at the astronomy tower. It was cold. Colder than he expected. A sad expression was apparent on his face. Eyebrows turned up a little, furrowed like he was mad but then you looked at his lips and the corner of them were turned down with a frown. Harry shivered. But brushed it off. The stars looked beautiful. He wished he could see them better without all the lights on. It was like an escape for him.
Then he felt a cloak being placed around him making him flinch. His head whipped around to expecting it to be Ron or Hermione, but it wasn’t.
“Malfoy?” Harry says, confused.
“You’re gonna end up freezing.” Draco moves back, giving space between them.
Harry stays quiet while pulling the cloak around him more. He then turns back around and leans against the railing while looking up. “You didn’t have to give me your cloak.” Potter mutters.
Draco decides to stay and also leans against the railing next to Harry. Well not next to him, giving space of course. He’s too nervous to even move closer to Harry, which is odd because he never felt that way with anyone else. “I don’t. But I did.” He whispered back.
Harry stays quiet. But Draco can feel something is wrong. The tension was there.
“Something’s wrong.” Malfoy says, quietly.
“Nothings wrong.” Potter almost immediately replied.
“You really are a terrible lair, Potter.” Draco rolls his eyes, a little irritated. Because Harry can really be a bad lair. But that’s something that Draco likes. That he can only tell the truth most of the time because he can’t come up with lies. Unlike Malfoy who can come up with lies on the spot. Except when it comes to Potter. For some reason he can’t lie to him.
Harry feels himself smile. But it doesn’t reach his eyes. They stay like that for a while before finally they both decide to leave. Draco almost thinks about walking Potter to his common room but at the last second decides against it. Maybe next time. Malfoy forgets to ask for his cloak back. So when Harry walks into the common room, Hermione is the first to ask where he was until she sees the cloak.
“Which Slytherin were you with?” A hint of teasing behind her voice as she turned her head to look at Harry. He hadn’t expect for Hermione or Ron to be up waiting for him.
“Don’t be stupid, Hermione. It’s Dracos.” Ron quickly says sitting up more from the couch. “He always wears that one.” He adds after a couple minutes of silence. “Not like I watch him or anything.” Ron mutters.
Hermione’s eyes go wide. “What?” She stands from the couch rushing over to him and grabs at the cloak. “Oh my god.” As realization seems to set in.
Harry rolls his eyes annoyed while lightly pushing Hermione away. “I was outside, it was cold. Malfoy gave me his cloak to stay warm — “
“He gave it to you?” Ron moved so he was leaned against the couch staring at Harry. “I would’ve thought you stole it or something. Not that he gave it to you.” A pause. “Sounds impossible.” Ron runs a hand through his hair.
Hermione sighs out. Then she looks over towards Ron. “You really do need to cut your hair, Ron.”
“Mione, it looks fine. I thought the girls loved long hair?” He asks. Hermione grabs Harry hand and leads him over to the couch. The question is ignored. Leaving Ron with his arms against his chest, like he’s pouting.
“Why don’t you tell us everything, yeah?” She sits between the boys but leans against Ron more. “Or don’t, that’s fine too.”
“Don’t say that! Then he’s never gonna tell us anything.” Ron huffs out.
It falls silent. “I can’t tell you everything.”
“That’s fine. Just tell us what you want.” Hermione smiles sweetly at him.
———
“I hate you.” Harry says with a slight frown. Pencil tapping against some papers. The library felt quieter than usually, even though the library is always supposed to be quiet. But they also picked a corner in the library where no one would find them because Harry and Draco were studying together for some classes. It was Dracos idea at first and Harry agreed because he wanted to spend more time with him. Even thinking about it made his heart flutter a little.
Draco’s across from him. Irritated, clearly. Harry could see it on his face. “Tell me something new.” He rolls his eyes. His head is rested in his hand, elbow on the table. Hair is a little looser than usually but Harry loves it. The blush on his cheeks would confirm it but Draco wouldn’t be able to see it that far anyways.
“Let me see.” Potter suddenly points at his arm. Malfoy hesitated. This should’ve been a sign to Harry. That something was definitely wrong. It’s already been 4 weeks since the last time he checked. The wound should be healing now, just scars. Harry waits and when Draco doesn’t move a sigh falls from his lips as he gets up instead. The chair Potter grabbed, scraps against the floor as he drags it over to Malfoy. He sits down while pulling Malfoy’s arm towards him.
Draco stays quiet. His head turns away and Harry can now definitely tell something is wrong. This raised some questions in him but Harry decided to not ask anything because he doesn’t want Malfoy to suddenly close up and stay quiet the rest of their studying session. He pulls the sleeve up and sees bandages which it shouldn’t have been weird but Draco shouldn’t have any on unless he has new wounds. So Potter slowly removes the bandage carefully, while pausing to see if Malfoy was going to stop him. And when he doesn’t he continues. Then he sees the fresh new cuts.
“Oh.” Was all Harry could really say. His mind went a little numb as he leaned back a little in the chair. The wounds looked really fresh which only meant this happened recently and Harry wished Draco would’ve said something to him. Anything. Maybe he could have helped.
Draco’s quiet. He doesn’t move either. Like he’s scared. His face is turned away from Harry’s, like if he looks at Potter, Malfoy will see the disappointed look on his face and he couldn’t deal with that.
“You didn’t tell me.”
“Didn’t know I had to.” Draco is quick to snap back. He didn’t mean for it to sound so harsh. But it doesn’t matter anyways.
Harry would’ve said something back. But he didn’t because Draco was hurting and there’s no point in fighting with him anyways.
“You should. So I can help.” Harry mumbles out, tired.
Harry puts the bandage back on and pulls Draco’s sleeve down. Malfoy pulls his arm away. Potter feels empty. He gets up and drags the chair with him going back to where he was.
Nothings said for a while. Just the scribble of Draco’s pencil and the turning of a book that Harry has to read for potions class. Or more so a chapter from the book.
Then, “I should’ve told you.” Draco says.
“What?” Harry asks. Not understanding what he could be talking about.
“What I did. I should’ve told you.” This was the second time that Malfoy has said that Potter was right. “I was . . . never mind.” He quickly says, dismissing whatever else he was going to say. Potter decides not to push.
“It’s fine.” Harry finally says letting a small sigh out. The pencil he was holding has been long abandoned. But so had the book he was supposed to be reading. Instead he was staring at Draco. He seemed sad, it was apparent on his face. Tired if you will. Eyebrows were drawn together. Then he noticed that Draco’s eyes seemed more glossy. Like he was about to cry.
Right when he was about to say something about it, Malfoy stood up from his spot and used his sleeve to wipe his eyes. “Maybe we can study some other time.” Draco’s voice was breaking and Harry wanted to help him but he knew that wasn’t his place to do so. Malfoy was quick to grab his stuff and leave. Potter didn’t know what to do. He sat there and laid his head down on the table. Maybe Draco will come around and say something to him.
———
It’s been at least 2 weeks since the last time Harry has spoken to Draco. Like in private. Maybe bickering back and forth during lunch or in classes but they never talked outside of class after that. This was normal of course but since what happened a while back, Potter couldn’t help but feel worried. It was consuming him on the inside out. Hermione seemed to notice. Only because she noticed everything for some reason.
“Just go up and talk to him. Catch him off guard or something.” She suggests. The three were walking in the hallways after finishing their last class together. Class was boring as usually and they didn’t have that class with Draco so Harry couldn’t see him.
“I don’t know why you want to even talk to him so bad.” Ron sighs out, annoyed from hearing all this Draco talk. “What’s even so good —“ Before another word could even leave the Weasley’s mouth, Hermione used her hand to smack Ron in the back of his head. A short groan fell from his lips. “Bloody hell!” He rubbed the back of his head trying to sooth down the minor pain he felt.
“That’s not nice, Ron.” Hermione scolds him. “Plus Harry already explained why.” She quickly linked her arm with Rons and rested her head against his shoulder.
“Yeah, yeah. Whatever.” He waves her off. “Harry is in love with —“ Now it was Harry’s turn to hit him. He raised his left hand and punched him on his arm. Ron jumped causing Hermione to start laughing as she lifted her head up from the Weasley’s shoulder.
“Ron! Not so loud.” Potter hits him on the arm again.
“Sorry, sorry.” Ron mumbles, defeated. Hermione beside him, starts to let out little giggles before dying down.
“Like I was saying. Try to talk to him.” Granger says again, this time she looks up at Harry and smiles. “It wouldn’t hurt.” She adds.
This time Harry sighs out loud and looks down at the ground. That was the dumbest thing that he could do. “And how would I do that? He’s been avoiding me like the plague.” He crosses his arms over his chest. Harry turns his head to look at Hermione because she didn’t say anything, only to see she stopped and is staring at something, mouth opened slightly like she just seen something she shouldn’t and eyes wide.
So he turned his head to look. Only to feel his heart ache and speed up at the same time. It was Draco holding hands with a girl that Harry doesn’t know the name of. Pansy and Blaise are seen with them and laughing. Harry didn’t get a good look at the whole situation because Potter could feel his heart break a little. Instead he turned around and quickly left not wanting to stare any longer. He heard his name being shouted by Hermione but completely ignored her.
This is for the better. Harry thought. This is what needed to happen. But it only made tears swell in his eyes.
Harry managed to find the farthest bathroom away from anywhere else. He sat in a corner away from the door and put his head down on his knees. Potter was crying. Which was definitely stupid but it didn’t matter because Harry is in love with Draco Malfoy and there was nothing he could do about it to make the feelings go away. He never even realized how in love he was with Draco until now. A quiet sob left his lips as he tried to stop crying but it didn’t matter because Malfoy looked happy for some reason with her and it only made Harry cry even harder. Maybe Potter was just there because Draco needed someone but he thought back to when he confessed his feelings. This whole thing sucked. Harry continued to cry and sob letting everything out until he heard the bathroom door open causing him to stop and wipe his face with his sleeve to not look like a huge crying mess. He thought it was Hermione and Ron so the first words out of his mouth were,
“Leave me alone.” His voice breaking as more tears fell from his face.
“Why would I do that?”
Harry immediately straightened up realizing who it actually was. Then he felt anger.
“I don’t want you here, Malfoy.” He harshly spat out. Harry doesn’t need Draco to see him like this. It was humiliating and embarrassing.
Draco finally found Harry backed up in a corner and leaned against a stall, watching him. He crossed his arms over his chest. Malfoy wasn’t able to see what Harry looked like because his head was turned down. But he can imagine the state he was in.
“I didn’t realize it was going to make you upset.” Draco sighs out a little irritated that Harry was making him feel bad.
“I’m not upset.” Harry says.
And Draco laughs. He couldn’t help but laugh. Harry wiped his face and looks up to catch the sight of him laughing and there was nothing more than Harry wanting to take a picture and keep it forever. Then Draco looked down to catch the sight of Harry and he faulted. His smile turning into a frown. Potter suddenly felt his cheeks heat up, embarrassed from his state once again.
“You are upset.” Draco whispers. He doesn’t move and Harry leans his head back on his knees.
“It’s stupid.” Potter feels more tears well up in his eyes. Draco notices his voice breaking again. “Really stupid.”
“It’s not.” Draco moves closer to Harry and then sits next to him on the floor while also pulling his knees to his chest. “You weren’t supposed to see.”
“It doesn’t matter.” Harry coldly whispers.
“Hermione yelled at me.” Draco mutters. “I mean she yelled so loud I’m sure people are going to be asking me what that was about.”
A small smile is placed on Harry’s lips hearing that.
“Ron looked petrified.”
“He always does. Doesn’t do well with confrontation.”
“Clearly.” Then. “I don’t want you to cry.” Draco murmured.
Harry seemed to pull his knees closer to him. “It doesn’t matter.” Was the only thing he said.
“But it does!” Draco, now turning frustrated, seems to yell. “It matters to me, Potter. Because I still like you and nothing will change that. I don’t want to be the cause of you crying.”
“Well you are.” Harry whispers.
“I know.” Malfoy sadly replies.
Then Harry feels bold. Like really bold.
“I like you too.”
Draco freezes. He turns his head to look at Harry. “I’m sorry?”
“I like you the same way you like me.” Harry breathes out.
The whole room is quiet. Draco doesn’t say anything and Harry doesn’t expect him to. Then he gets up from his spot. This makes Harry panic. Maybe that was a bad idea. He shouldn’t have said anything. Potter watches as he leaves without saying another word and this is what causes Harry to have a panic attack. At first he didn’t understand what was happening. He couldn’t breathe as more tears fell from his eyes and he tried to breathe in and out but it wasn’t working.
———
Harry stayed in his dorm room for the rest of the week. And the next week… and the week after that. Until finally Hermione had enough and forced Ron to go with her to find Draco. Let’s say Ron was absolutely turned on with the way Hermione dealt with him. Except that was going to stay a secret until he told Harry, who was definitely going to make fun of him for it.
Besides the point, Draco is now in the Gryffindor dormitory in front of Harry’s room. Well Harry’s and Ron’s. He was surprised that they managed to sneak him in. No one saw but he knew there was going to be a harder time leaving. He’ll worry about that later, for now Draco could feel the eyes of Hermione burning holes in the back of his head. Malfoy hesitated knocking. “Well knock!” She almost yelled when she saw Draco hesitate. This caused Malfoy to quickly start knocking on the door. Hermione sighed out and quickly dragged Ron away so Draco and Harry could have some alone time.
Once Potter heard the knocking he let out the most exaggerated sigh fall from his lips. Harry almost did not want to get up but was a little worried that it would be Hermione making her rounds again. He stood up from his spot on the bed and made his way over towards the door. “I already told you —“ Harry started when he opened the door only to quickly shut up once he realized who was at his door. “Malfoy.” He coldly replied. Harry was about to shut the door but Draco managed to stop him.
“Can we talk?” Draco asked. They made eye contact for a second before Harry forced himself to look away. The expression on his face was almost too much for Potter to keep staring.
Potter really wanted him to go away, but decided that maybe talking with him wouldn’t be so bad. So he slowly opened the door a little wider and let Malfoy in. Draco walked inside the dorm and looked around. He didn’t expect it to look like that. A little messy but it was still clean— unlike Ron’s side. Which was definitely the messiest he has ever seen a room before. Harry ended up saying something about Ron’s side of the room. Then silence filled the whole room.
Harry cleared his throat as he tried brushing his hair out of his face now realizing what he looked like. “What did you want to talk about?” His voice hiding embarrassment behind it. Malfoy eyed him for a couple seconds, noticing Harry seemed a little embarrassed. It must’ve been because he looked like he just woke up. Although Draco didn’t seem to mind all that much.
“About what happened a couple weeks ago.” Draco doesn’t move any closer to Harry. But instead keeps his hands neatly folded behind his back.
“You mean when you left me in the bathroom after I just confessed my feelings.” Potter stays standing and has his arms crossed over his chest a little annoyed.
“I needed time to think.” Malfoy suddenly spats out getting annoyed. He almost rolls his eyes but decides not to.
“Oh, so leaving me in the bathroom to think I messed up was your greatest idea.” Harry rolls his eyes.
“I know. I shouldn’t have done that. But I freaked out. So I felt like the only option was for me to leave. I should’ve talked to you.” Draco lets a small sigh out. “I’m not very good at communicating my feelings.”
Harry bites his lower lip nervously. “I can tell.”
“Do you forgive me?” Malfoy looked up at Potter. They stared at each other for a little bit.
Harry lets a small sigh out as he sits down on his bed and crossed his legs. “I guess.” He shrugs his shoulders not wanting to make this a bigger deal than it already was.
Draco doesn’t move from where he was standing, too nervous to make Harry uncomfortable. “I heard about what happened when Ron and Hermione found you.” He seemed to whisper. Like he didn’t want anyone else to hear even though no one else was around.
“Not a big deal.” Harry moved his legs up against his chest while letting his head rest on his knees.
“But it is because I’m the one that caused that.” Draco huffs out, annoyed that Harry won’t realize how bad he feels for what happened to him.
“You’ve caused a lot of things.” Harry didn’t mean to say it. It just slipped out. Potter continued to bite his lower lip again and started picking at it. “I didn’t mean —“
“You’re right.”
“No, I’m not.”
“But you are.”
Harry turns to look at Draco. His head is turned down looking at the floor. He’s starting to feel a little bad for how harsh he is being to Draco. It just keeps slipping out because of how much Potter seems to bury away from everyone. The things Draco has done over the years were nasty and malicious but at the same time, Harry can’t help but feel bad because of the Malfoy must have been raised. Instead he decided that this was going to go no where if Harry continued to be this way, but neither if Draco did either. “Come sit next to me.” Potter spoke softly, patting the spot next to him for Draco to sit.
Malfoy looks up at Harry to find him staring right back at him. He doesn’t move for a couple seconds before deciding that it couldn’t hurt. So he slowly moves forward and sits right beside Harry. He moves up the bed a little ways and leans back on his arms. Then Draco turns his head to look at Potter only to see him staring down at his arm. Draco already knew what he was looking for.
“I haven’t done anything.” Draco suddenly says, catching Harry completely off guard. He didn’t think Malfoy would notice.
Potter was about to play dumb and as what he meant but he decided against. Instead he bit his bottom lip nervously and moved closer to Draco. He took this as a sign and moved onto the bed facing Harry while also spreading his legs so Harry could go in between them. Potter took this as a sign and moved so he was in between Draco’s legs and moved even closer to him. He felt his face heat up from how close the two were. Draco moved his left arm towards Harry. Potter gently grabbed his left arm and started to roll his long sleeve up. That’s when he saw there was no longer any bandages but instead scars that were healing. Without thinking Harry started to trace the scars lightly with his finger tip.
“They’re healing.” He whispered.
Draco smiles as he feels Harry run his fingers over the scars. It is worth it.
———
The two did start talking again. The bickering stayed, but in private they talked. Like never before. Harry started learning things about Draco he never knew about and the same going for Draco, learning things about Harry he never knew about.
Sometimes they would stop talking for a couple days then out of no where Draco would appear in front of Harry wanting to talk. It was better that way. They weren’t together nor did they ever consider themselves friends. But they grew closer. Closer than before and for some reason Potter wanted nothing more than to hold Malfoy in his arms for hours at night. He would never outright say it though, too nervous to even bring something like that up. Maybe he’ll wait till Draco brings it up. But he doesn’t think that would ever happen.
Until Harry saw Draco rushing up to him out of breath. He looked almost panicked. Like he did something he wasn’t supposed to. Potter wouldn’t be surprised if he was caught doing something that wasn’t possible the best idea.
“I didn’t mean it.” Draco says out of breath once he approached Potter. Harry furrows his eyebrows together, confused. That’s when he realized Malfoy was hiding his left arm behind his back.
“Didn’t mean what?” Harry takes a small step back, looking Draco up and down. He had some black slacks, a black button up and his clock around him. It wasn’t odd seeing Malfoy dress this way on a normal day where there wasn’t any classes.
But when he saw Draco pull his sleeve up Harry’s heart drops and his expression turns into worry. Malfoy has never seen Potter look like this before. He grabs at his arm trying to figure out what to do.
“Malfoy..” Harry bites his lip.
“I-I hadn’t even realized what I was doing until I saw all the blood.” Malfoy mumbles on not really knowing what to do. “You said — you said to tell you the next time I did something like this.”
“I did.” Potter whispers, feeling tears well in his eyes. His voice breaking was a dead giveaway he was going to cry. Harry didn’t really care. He doesn’t have any bandages on him because it would be weird to be carrying stuff like that with him all the time. Maybe he should though. But it was either go to the hospital wing or his room.
Malfoy quickly notices his voice breaking and takes his right hand to cup his cheek. “Don’t cry.” He starts. “I told you I don’t want to be the reason you cry.”
“I’m crying because I can’t stop you from doing stuff like this.” Harry mumbles out, frustrated. The bleeding wasn’t slowing down and it only worried Potter more that Draco was losing a lot of blood by the minute. His hand tried pressing down on the fresh wounds wanting to stop the bleeding.
The reaction from Harry had Draco wanting to band his head against wall. He never meant for this to happen. Draco pulls his lips into a straight line. “I have bandages in my dorm. We can go there.” Malfoy whispers.
It was the only option they really had so Harry nodded his head and let Draco drag him to the Slytherin dormitory. Getting into the dorm was harder than imagined. There were a lot of people around and Draco had to drag Harry quietly, dodging people and into his room. They were thankful no one else was in Draco’s dorm. Malfoy goes over to a draw and pulls it open grabbing out bandages and other stuff they may need.
Harry is sat on his bed. His room was much cleaner than his and Ron’s. But that was expected. Everything seemed to have a place. Which was evident when Draco went to a draw with the stuff they needed. He watched as it was all dumped onto the bed and Malfoy sat down in front of Harry. He let Potter take control and watched as he did everything. It was memorizing in a way. That Harry knew how to do this. Maybe he learned because of Draco but he doubted that. The bandage was on tight, making Malfoy believe he did this so it wouldn’t come off easy.
“It won’t happen again.” Draco mutters, feeling ashamed.
“You’ll have to prove it.” Harry keeps his hand lingering on Draco’s arm and looks up at him.
The two make eye contact and for a second Potter almost leans over to kiss him but decides not to. Malfoy watches Harry’s cheeks turn a little red color. Then he lets his eyes wander down to his lips before realizing what he was doing and quickly looking up at Potter’s eyes again. His eyes were always gorgeous. A bright green color and he’s sure it looks even prettier in the sunlight. That’s what Draco wanted to do. Stare at Harry all day in the sunlight. Seeing every detail up close.
———
Spring break was here already and Harry decided to stay at Hogwarts even though Ron had practically begged him to come with him back to the Burrow. Initially Harry was going to go, but declined because apparently Draco was also staying at Hogwarts for spring break and he couldn’t pass up the opportunity to be with him. Without anyone else really around. So they could talk openly without anyone really questioning why they were walking together in the hallways.
“Harry, do you really have to stay here?” Ron asked again. Hermione let a groan fall from her lips after hearing him say that once again. It was the only thing he has been asking for the past hour. Even 3 hours if he will. Harry didn’t want to flat out say it. He’s sure Hermione already knows because she’s smart.
“Ron, whys it matter? I’ll be with you.” She nudged his shoulder, trying to get him to change the topic for once. The two sat on a couch in the common room by the fireplace. Harry was across from them, legs crossed and leaning on his arm.
“But, Hermione, he always comes with us every holiday. What’s so special about this one?” Ron asks with a slight frown starting to form. “Y’know, I also heard that — “ He starts before cutting himself off and opening his mouth in an ‘O’ shape realizing why Harry wants to stay here so bad. “Oh my god.” He lets his head hang in his hands as a small giggle escapes his lips realizing how slow he’s been.
“You finally caught on?” Potter asks while laughing. He leans in his chair letting a loud laugh out, catching Ron’s attention as he looks over at Harry and pokes his tongue out at him.
“Don’t make fun of him.” Hermione starts. “He can be a little slow sometimes.” She pokes Ron on his sides a little causing him to swat her hand away.
“Hey! I am not. Only a little” He huffs out while crossing his arms over his chest. “I guess it won’t be that bad without you.”
“Watch, Harry. Once we get there the only thing he is going to be talking about is you.” Hermione is quick to get up from the couch as she felt Weasley grab at her. A laugh is heard from Hermione as Ron chases her, mumbling stuff under his breath with a huge grin. Harry watches and can’t help but burst out laughing while holding his sides.
Once they did leave, Draco nor Harry talked to each other until the second day of spring break. Just to be safe. Although it was odd for the two not to go back home for a break no one really cared enough to say something. But it was Harry who first approached him in the hallways. He saw Malfoy walking to no particular destination and no-one else was around. So he took this as a sign.
“Malfoy!” Harry practically yelled trying to catch up to him. He probably shouldn’t be yelling just in case but Harry doesn’t think anyone would care.
Draco stopped in his tracks and turned around at the voice of Potter. A small smile was on his lips as he let his hands fold neatly behind his back. “Potter.” He leaned a little close to Potter once he approached him.
“What are you up to?”
“Nothing, just walking around. There isn’t much going on here anyways. Especially since all my friends left to go home.” Draco explained.
“You could hang out with me.” Harry smiles up at him.
Draco is quick to catch on to what he was getting at and lets a small smirk raise on his lips as a small chuckle leaves his mouth. “I guess I could…”
“You guess?”
He looks down at Harry and lets his eyes wander down to his lips before looking up his eyes again. “I wouldn’t mind.”
Harry catches it and leans his head to the side. “Or do you have other plans?” He asks, smiling.
Malfoy looks around the hallway, then back to Potter. He’s biting his bottom lip slightly and leans a little forward. For some reason the two felt more free. Like they could do whatever they wanted because no one was there to watch them and question what they were doing.
“I do.” He says.
“Doing what?”
“You.”
It was harmless flirting. That’s what they did. Never ever taking it a step further.
———
Harry leaned against the couch watching Draco wave his wand around and whisper little charm spells. Nothing was happening because Draco wasn’t actually trying to do any charm spells. Then he sighed, discarding his wand on the couch. He turned his head towards Harry and caught him already staring at him. He narrowed his eyes at him.
“You’re staring again.” Draco pointed out, a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips.
A giggle left Potter’s mouth. He continued to stare at Draco. “I know.” Harry replies.
Malfoy stared at him and Potter stared at him. Like they were speaking to one another with their eyes.
“You know.” Draco starts. “Im surprised that your little friends haven’t tried to steer you away from me.” He shrugged his shoulders a bit.
A snort leaves Harrys mouth. Like Draco was way off with that statement. “They have.” Because it was true. Hermione wasn’t mad when she found out. But she tried to tell Harry that he could find someone else. Anyone else in the world. And Harry said he doesn’t want anyone else. Then Ron was right behind Hermione, agreeing with everything she had to say. Until they finally dropped it and left him be. Because Harry was happy and that’s all they wanted for him.
“Doesn’t seem like they did a good job at it.” Malfoy mumbles, turning his head away from Harrys and looking at the fireplace that was lit instead.
Harry shrugged his shoulders. “They asked if you made me happy.”
Draco turned his head to look at him again. “What did you say?” He whispers. Almost like he’s scared of what the answer could be. His eyes furrowed together and his lips were parted. Like he was worried that whatever they had would be gone in seconds.
“You do.”
“I do?”
“Yeah.” Harry whispers and smiles at him.
The room turned quiet and Draco tore his eyes away from Harry’s again. But Potter could see the light blush on his cheeks. The fire was admitting this warm lighting on Draco’s face. And Harry couldn’t stop staring.
“Do you mind if I sleep with you tonight?” Draco whispers, not turning to look at Harry. And that was what made everything kind of snap. Like that one thing Draco asked had the two never being able to get their hands off of one another. Because they couldn’t.
Potter wrapped his hands around Draco’s back more while his head stayed on his chest. The two decided to stay in bed longer since it was the last day of spring break and obviously they wouldn’t be able to do this once everyone was back. Light snoring can be heard from Malfoy but Harry was already starting to get used to it, even though sometimes Potter would wake him up so he would stop. He never realized how quickly Draco fell asleep. Then Draco moved his head slightly.
“Morning.” Potter mumbled while yawning.
Draco moved his head a little so he could look at Harry better. A small smile made its way to his lips. “Morning.” And oh did Harry love his morning voice.
The two stared at each other for a while. Not saying a word and only just taking each other in.
“We should get up.” Harry whispers.
“We should.” Draco replies.
But they don’t.
———
Spring break ended and everyone was back at school again. The trio was back together and Harry hasn’t said a word to Draco. It’s been at least 3 weeks. But Harry doesn’t really know what to say to him. The two seem to grow apart more as the end of school is coming closer and it only makes Potters heart race even thinking about it. How when school ends they probably won’t take to each other. And the thought of that scares Harry. He doesn’t want to end whatever the two have going on. He doesn’t want it to go away. Harry has to talk to Draco. They need to figure something out. Anything.
“Can we talk?” Harry approaches Draco in the hallway. His hands are behind his back and Harrys voice is little shaky even when he tried to make sure that didn’t happen.
“About?” Draco asks. His eyes furrow together, clearly confused on what Harry would want to talk about.
Harry didn’t say anything hoping Malfoy would catch on. And he did because he sighed out and grabbed Harrys forearm while dragging him to the library where no one would bother them.
“I know what this is about.” Malfoy starts.
“You don’t even know what I’m going to say.” Harry tries to interrupt him.
“We can’t be together.” Draco whispers. Voice breaking slightly.
And Harry feels his heart break, but he knows it’s true. They can’t. It’s not possible. Not here. Not anywhere. Harry wants to grab Draco’s hand and run away with him. To never be seen again. He wants to hide away with Draco, some where on the country side, where no one can find them or judge them. Where they can be themselves without whisperings in their ear. Harry can’t imagine a world without Draco for some reason. Yes he’s imagined his life with other people but with Draco it was different. He’s different.
Harry hangs his head and Draco steps forward grabbing him into a hug. Potter doesn’t move, doesn’t push Draco away. He instead wraps his arms around Draco wanting to be as close as possible with him. Wanting to forget everything in the world. Like nothing mattered at the moment because nothing did matter at that moment. It was just Draco and Harry. Harry and Draco. He wouldn’t have it any other way.
“I’m sorry, Harry.” Malfoy mumbled into his neck. “It’s just not possible.”
The words make Harry squeeze his eyes shut. He then lifts his head up to stare at him. Potter leans up and brushes his lips against Dracos.
“In a prefect world we would be together.” Draco whispers against his lips.
“Why not make this one perfect?” Harry asks, hooking his arms around Malfoy’s neck, pulling him impossibly closer.
There was silence for a while.
“I’d like that.”