Wednesday 28th June 1978 pt.2
Regulus’ Pov-
Regulus always knew his brother was stupid. An idiot really, his grades may have been the top of the class, his talent raw, his mind ingenious, but when it came to trouble, well, he seemed unable to avoid it, he seemed to crave it. He was always taking every chance he could to put himself in harm’s way.
It was as if his brother was the magnet of all problems, he was always pulling in mischief like a flame to a moth. He was a perfect display of chaos, luring in all the troubling situations in the world towards him like they’re attached on a string. You cannot have chaos without Sirius, you cannot have Sirius without chaos, and he was perfectly happy for it to be that way.
In his brothers eyes getting involved in chaos made life more interesting, gave you the chance to be the hero, a role he always seemed desperate to take up. Ever eager to save people, especially Regulus, and it was only ever getting him hurt. In Sirius’ mind, when it came to his little brother there was apparently no choice, he would put his own safety in complete disregard time and time again. Trying to protect him at all costs, always unaware it was arguably more damaging in the long run.
Watching his brother constantly come to his aid, his defence, diverting attention and taking all the punishments onto his own shoulders, meant Regulus learnt young to be quiet in their house, to be seen and not heard. In his mind, if he was perfect, there was nothing for his brother to defend him from, no extra problems to bring Sirius harm. Him being loud, defiant, having a real personality within the four walls of Grimmauld Place, only ever put his brother at risk.
So he didn’t, have a personality that is, have a spine.
He sometimes wonders if that was his parents plan, they beat Sirius black and blue, but failed to kill who he was, so with Regulus, they tore him apart inside out, until the external punishments could never hurt as bad as the numbness inside himself.
He acted as the perfect spare ready to be the perfect heir, so one day Sirius would be able to leave, without fear Regulus would get killed in his absence. Regulus always knew Sirius would leave, he spent his life preparing for it.
Because Sirius was different, he was an enigma in the house of Black, always destined to be a free spirit. So yes, Regulus always knew he would leave, always knew he himself couldn’t. He was always trying to protect his older brother, including becoming a shell of himself.
Sirius always questioned him, asked why he was so compliant, agreeable to their parents every whim. Saw the company he kept at school, a muggleborn and a werewolf (though nobody knew he knew about the latter), and asked why he would go along with his parents every word when he clearly did not believe a single utterance that fell from their lips.
But it was because he was protecting Sirius, in his own way. He knew Sirius had a hero complex, a need to protect him, to save him from curses and cruel words, a need to take it himself.
So if he stayed quiet, stayed out of trouble, became a shadow of himself, stripped his personality and hid it away locked it in a box and threw it in the sea. If he was perfect, Sirius would be safe.
If he was the perfect heir, the blood supremacist, death eater paraphernalia little spare, if he didn’t get punished, Sirius couldn’t take the punishments for him.
Sirius would be safe.
He did everything for his brother, because that’s how they worked.
The brothers were always trying to protect each other, except Regulus knew what Sirius was doing, Sirius never had a clue why his brother decided to be so meek and quiet, such an embarrassment to morality whenever they went home.
But Regulus didn’t need him to know, not really. He could ignore the look of betrayal in Sirius’ eyes, he could be ok... He just needed to manage, just until Sirius made it out, and then he could breathe.
Except Sirius did make it out, he made it out when Regulus found a loophole to end the war, when Regulus found another reason to act complicit, at this point Regulus is set to bow down to ideals he’s never believed in for the rest of his life, because he will end the war, but he has no belief he’ll make it out the other side.
But it’s ok, because Sirius got out, his brother is finally safe, no longer able to jump in front of their parents wands for him. His brother is no longer destroying his life for Regulus.
Or at least he wasn’t meant to, but of course, where there’s a Sirius, there’s a way.
Because this time he has pushed it way too far.
This time his idea of protecting his brother has stretched to joining the dark lord.
As is Regulus’ point.
His brothers an idiot.
Because of course Sirius can’t let him be good by himself, he must defend him at every turn, and Regulus turning against the death eaters, against Voldemort, is the biggest turn of all. He made the decision fully advised, knowing this could be his end, and he did it anyway.
He can’t help but feel Sirius went into this feet first as usual, not a thought, not a care. So obsessed with being the hero, the older brother, the second he saw his brother in even a fraction of danger, he jumped without thinking.
Or maybe even worse, he did think it through, and he did it anyway, because his brother seems to be under the foolish impression that Regulus is worth saving, and he’s not, Regulus knows this, he just needs Sirius to learn it too.
The problem is, he is quite to selfish to be the one to push Sirius away.
He just hopes if it was his brother’s life was on the line, he would finally be able to manage it. To make the selfless call for once.
Regardless, Sirius may have just done the stupidest thing yet.
He proclaimed in front of the entire great hall, the entire school, Dumbledore (who Regulus knows he admires) that he will be joining the order. Well, at least Potter proclaimed it, but Sirius was of course (as he always is when it comes to Potter) in full support.
And now Regulus is left looking at the aftermath, quite literally. Spells are being shot in every direction, soot covered in the aftermath of where Barty was, a trail across the floor from victim to victim. Younger years are being herded off to anti chambers in the hall, teachers are scrambling around, trying to snatch students wands without leaving them defenceless in the paths of other students. Some people are screaming slightly, leaving Regulus to roll his eyes, he can’t help it, this is child’s play compared to what’s going on outside these walls, what may go on inside these walls one day.
As he continues to watch the utter chaos unfold in the hall, his eyes never quite wander from his brother, he is stood next to James, firing off spells in equal measure, none evil, but none kind, all the harmless type they would send towards people in their pranks. The real problem with the shots are who they are aiming them at.
The Gryffindors.
He can see the determination in his brothers eye, and he knows this is going to be something rather hard to talk him out of doing, but Regulus is nothing if not determined. So, when he spots Dumbledore shepherding his brother, Pandora, Barty and James out of the hall, he can’t help but slip off around the corner, determined to follow them. After all he feels almost responsible for 3 of them. But just as he goes to slip around the corner, he feels an arm sneakily wrap around his bicep, and he tenses up as he is being pulled in the opposite direction, only to turn his head to get a look at his ‘kidnapper’ and get a face full of bright red hair.
Lily.
You’d think it would take more than hair for him to decern his old friend in a crowd full of people, Red heads may be less common in Hogwarts, but Lily certainly isn’t the only one.
Nonetheless, her hair somehow manages to be such a distinct shade of red, bright and vibrant, but almost auburn, and after spending plenty of study ‘dates’ with her (as her and Remus liked to call them), he can’t help but recognise the girl immediately.
“Lily what-“
“Wait.” Is all she deigns to give him in response.
And wait he does, even if he hasn’t acknowledged her properly in months, talked to her, spent time with her, even if he left her any time she came close, he still trusts the girl, and if she is resorting to this to talk to him, well, he will just let it happen.
As they start walking out of the hall, their footsteps falling quickly, not making a sound over the noise of the riot still going on in the hall, he feels eyes on the back of his head, twisting his neck to see behind him, his eyes fall across a scarred face and a mop of golden brown hair.
Remus.
Remus and Lily, his two study buddies that he has been avoiding for months, what is this an ambush? Are they fed up of being ignored, if so this certainly isn’t the time to confront him about it when the school has finally stopped acting as though the war hasn’t reached within its walls, Voldemort or not, it clearly has.
But as they keep walking up through the halls, the staircases, down the corridors and past the tapestries, they continue to not say a word, they clearly have a destination in mind. Despite not speaking to them for months, despite his trust for them remaining mostly unwavering, he still can’t ignore the nerves starting to creep their way into his stomach.
“Oi.” Lily freezes, her arm tensing on Regulus’ arm for a second as they turn around in unison with Remus who had since fallen in step with them as they walked through the halls.
“Evan?” Regulus asks, his confusion mounting further.
“Regulus,” he nods quickly towards him, his head stiff, before switching his gaze back to Lily and Remus, flicking between the two as he raises his arm slightly, wand still in hand, “let go of his arm.”
Lily does, whether because of Evan, or simply because she trusts Regulus who has willingly followed her thus far, he isn’t sure.
“Reg.” he tries again, nodding to his side, stating with his eyes for Regulus to follow him.
“Evan,” he tries slowly, cautious of the wand on him, “I’m fine.”
“Hmm.” Is all he gets in response, Evans eyes warily moving side to side as he eyes up to the two Gryffindors flanking Reg on either side. His wand never lowering.
“Evan.” He tries again, staring at him imploringly, willing him to see that there is no problem here. He’s not surprised at how tense the other man seems, he has always been very defensive of his friends, of Regulus. And that protection has only raised since Sirius ran away, the first week back at school Regulus had to snap at his friend to get a mere hour to himself. “I’m fine.”
“Fine,” he lowers the wand slightly, “But I’m coming with.”
“You really don’t need to-“ Lily tries to interrupt, stepping forward slightly, before she is swiftly cut off by Evan.
“Oh but I will,” he says eyes steady on Regulus, before he flicks them over noncommittedly towards Lily, “I’m sure you’ll understand.”
She nods curtly in response, their eyes locked together, as something flashes across Lilys face that Regulus can’t read, before they all turn around as one, continuing to head up the stairs, Evan rushing quickly forwards, parting the group so that he is walking in step with Regulus as they continue to follow Lily and Remus up the steps.
Eventually, after another few minutes of walking, they find themselves stopping outside the two statues of stone gargoyles that frame the headmasters office.
“Lily?” he asks, watching as she turns her head to face him, determination in her eyes, making him uneasy, “Why are we here?”
“It’s where you were heading before I intercepted you, isn’t it?”
“Yes?”
“So what is the problem?”
“Why are we here? Why are you?”
“I’d rather like a conversation with James and Sirius.”
“Oh?” he tries, his heart beating rapidly in his chest, “How come?”
“Don’t play dumb Regulus,” she smiles slightly, “it doesn’t suit you.”
After that, they all seem to settle in silence. Regulus’ mind a flurry of panic over how he is going to talk Sirius and Potter out of their evidently stupid plan whilst Lily is breathing down is neck.
Because he knows her, she won’t drop this, Sirius and Potter aren’t death eaters, and even if they could convince most of the school, they couldn’t convince him, they couldn’t convince Lily, who has such a firm determination in her eyes he is sure she won’t take whatever half-hearted excuse they give that they probably haven’t even properly thought up.
Honestly, he’s getting annoyed at mistakes they haven’t even admitted to yet, but is sure they have made anyway. How is he meant to work with such idiots under these conditions?
As his mind continues to calculate, he looks up slowly taking in the people around him, trying to think of a plan to get Sirius and Potter alone before Lily can question them and let their secrets break.
Lilys relaxed against a wall, her eyes elsewhere, off in her thoughts, as she looks noncommittedly around her, gaze floating past Remus as if she doesn’t realise he is there.
Remus’ gaze on the other hand, is determined and curious, he is stood right next to Lily, sending her a questioning glance every few seconds as if staring at her hard enough will get him answers he clearly doesn’t have. His focus on her only broken up every so often when he seems to feel the need to glare at Evan who is continuing to pace across the hall. Most likely combatting his worries in his mind about Barty and Pandora now that he knows Regulus is safe, after all, Barty did fire the first shot.
And Regulus would be worried for him too, if he wasn’t busy glaring at the gargoyles ahead of him, as if they had personally offended him, his mind still a whirring mess wondering what on earth he is going to do, he needs to distract Lily from interrogating Potter and his idiot brother. He needs to keep Evan away from his inevitable conversation with his brother and Potter. And lastly, most importantly, he needs to figure out a way to smack some sense into the two idiots heads, the two idiots who just publicly declared their support for Voldemort.
Even real death eaters don’t do that, unless they are insane, with a death wish, thinking they are completely out of dangers way.
Essentially real death eaters don’t do that unless they’re Bellatrix.
And he knows Sirius is always attempting to be as far away from that distinction as possible.
And Potter, well he is essentially an over excitable and loyal puppy, and it’s going to get him killed. In some sense that could put him on par with Bellatrix, both eager to please and worryingly loyal. The only difference is James isn’t shooting to kill. Yet.
Honestly what is it with Gryffindors and this lack of care for their own life?
He keeps thinking, mind whirring through hundreds of different plans, until he hears a slight thud in the wall, and the gargoyles he’s been staring at finally turns and move to reveal a staircase, four pairs of feet walking swiftly down it, clearly eager to get away.
He raises his eyes to look at the descending four, 3 of his people that do nothing but cause him trouble and Potter.
And as he looks up, his eyes lock with a pair of hazel ones, ones boring into his soul, ones he sees across the quidditch pitch, ones that used to tell him jokes in their shared classes and make him laugh, one he once saw as Sirius’ replacement of him, one he learned to see as an almost friend, that made him smile after a holiday trapped at his house. Ones that used to annoyingly make him warm.
A pair of eyes he had refused to look at since easter, had done well to put out of his mind until his incident in the chamber.
But now looking into them, he doesn’t see happiness, laughter and inside jokes.
He sees determination, anger, it makes something unknown coil tight in his stomach.
He needs to keep all four of them away from this nightmare, they are all too good to be caught up in his mess.
Sirius’ Pov-
When they reach the bottom of the stairs, Sirius feels eyes on him, and looking up, he is met by four sets of gazes on him, all looking imploringly at the group that just came down from the office, as if waiting for some big reveal. Or, in Evans case, looking like they’re waiting to find out about some big plot they’re missing, to be fair- they wouldn’t be far wrong.
Regardless, no matter how weird everything that just went down in the hall was, the four people waiting for him isn’t exactly what he expected.
Regulus maybe, of course he would have immediately figured out the plot at hand and wanted to confront them about it, tell them off. But Sirius cant help but admit he was expecting his brother to ignore him until he could no longer avoid the problem at hand and then he would show up fighting to get Sirius to back down and stop protecting him, he should know that would never happen.
Remus, again, kind of expected. His boyfriend and best friend just publicly declared support for the enemy they’ve been railing on for years. But he thought he might’ve waited for the privacy of the dorm room to lecture them, question them, whatever.
Lily, of course she will have questions to, but after how he acted this morning he figured she would want a break from them, feel some semblance of betrayal, she is a muggleborn after all, and they just stated that they were siding with a man, a side of the war that wants her dead. He doesn’t want her to think that’s true, but he can’t exactly correct her either.
And then Evan, well Sirius assumes he is here for Barty or Pandora. Or maybe even Reg based on the way his eyes keep darting between the three of them, and he seems to be trying to place himself between Regulus and Lily, as if he views her as a threat.
He cant help but wonder what happened after they left the hall, what happened to the chaos they ensued?
“Er, hi?”
It’s James’ voice coming from his left, uncertain and confused at the waiting party they have just received. He still sounds so kind and unsure, Sirius can’t help but worry he has the wrong ally by his side to follow into the throng of death eaters.
James couldn’t hurt a fly, not that Sirius wants to- but at least he could stomach it.
“James,” it’s Lily this time, the stare down between the 8 of them seems to be over and now she is marching forward and grabbing James and Sirius by the arms, her grip unyielding, and marching off down the hall, “come on.”
As they make their way through the corridors, neither of them properly protesting Lilys grip, Sirius turns and sees Remus and Regulus following behind them, the latter eyeing up Lily and the former Sirius, he feels an uncomfortable chill roll down his spine as he remembers the display in the hall, and what that is going to mean for all his relationships, but he shoves it down and keeps walking.
For Regulus, always for Regulus.
As he keeps moving his head, twisting it further around to see the other 3, his eyes fall to see them still stood outside the now disappeared stone staircase, clearly debating on whether they want to follow the rest of the group. Evan is obviously arguing with Barty and Pandora whilst frantically gesturing in the direction Lily is leading them all off in, clearly wanting to follow, Barty is letting out an overdramatic sigh, annoyingly similar to Sirius himself, before seeming to concede to Evans arguments, turning on his heel with Evan and Pandora in tow to follow the rest of the group, Sirius, not for the first time, finds himself feeling thankful that his little brother has such loyal friends.
He just hopes they’re on the right side of the war, not the death eaters side, he hopes they are somehow on the third side, the new side. Regulus’ side, he hopes even if they don’t know about it, that when they see Regulus as a separate entity of the other two powers of war, they will follow him just as determinedly as they are now.
He can only hope.
They keep walking for a few minutes, until Sirius finds himself outside of a familiar looking wall, and all of a sudden he feels his stomach turning as a flood of memories run through his mind. Memories of his little brother in a coma he didn’t know about, hurting, unconscious, hooked up to some muggle contraption to keep him healthy and alive. He remembers the stories told, the revelations, how it all lead to the big reveal in the hall, and how his life is most likely to go downhill from here.
“Why are we here?” comes James’ voice again, its hesitant, wavering, it’s so clear he knows that the wall is about to open to a door, that will open to a room that was never there before. James isn’t a good liar, and Sirius is becoming more and more regretful about not pushing back against the fact that James should not be joining him in this plan, it’s not too late, maybe he could talk him out of it?
Before anyone deigns a response, Lily starts pacing back and forth in front of the wall until a door appears, and then she is back grabbing Sirius’ arm and pulling him through the door before his train of thought can spiral even more.
“What the fuck is this?” Barty this time, and Sirius cant help but roll his eyes in response.
“A room, you see if you look around with your eyes-“
“Don’t be a prick.”
“I’m hardly-“
“Both of you stop,” Regulus this time, rolling his eyes so hard, Sirius can’t help but wonder how they aren’t falling out of his head, “Barty you don’t need to be here, Evan neither do you.”
“But-“ Barty tries to interrupt, moving forward away from Sirius and further into the room so he can stand in front of Regulus.
“No, I’m fine, everything’s fine, I’ll see you in the dorm.”
“No,” it’s Evan this time moving into the fray, stepping in front of Barty, determination in his eyes, “we’re not leaving you here, with them, with him.” he adds, eyes darting to Sirius and back, a newfound ferocity in his gaze at the idea of what? Leaving Sirius with his brother? His own fury is rising now.
“Now listen here-“
“Sirius.” Regulus starts in warning, but it does not stop him,
“I don’t like what you’re implying, I can be left with my brother-“
“More like you can leave your brother-“
“I didn’t have a choice!”
“No of course not! How could you possibly have a choice, of course the only option is to abandon-“
“Evan he did not abandon me you know this,” Regulus snaps quickly, his voice level, the coldness in his words the only indicator of his irritation at the discussion at hand, and when Sirius goes to parade his winning in the conversation, Regulus quickly snaps his eyes to his brother, his gaze piercing as he continues, “and Sirius, you have done plenty enough, that display in the hall? Stop arguing I’m not doing this.”
“But-“ Sirius tries, before his brothers gaze is back on him, so angry, that all the words freeze on his tongue, is throat closing up, he knows he has done the right thing, knows he is protecting his brother, keeping him safe- he does not regret it for a second, but he does not want to loose him before he can do that. Does not want to keep his brother alive only to let their relationship die.
But he doesn’t have a choice does he really? It’s his little brother, always his baby brother, his Reggie, his, he can’t just stand back. He can handle being hated if it means his brother is alive.
“I need to talk to you.” comes Lilys voice this time.
“Who is you?” Regulus’ questioning gaze falls on her, suspicious but not unkind, he can see the hidden compassion in his gaze, the loss of a friendship that never fell sour but instead just fell away.
“You,” lily nods, her own gaze full of loss as it falls on Regulus, “and James and Sirius.”
“Must you?”
“Yes.”
“Fine,” Regulus concedes quickly, as if he has already had this argument and doesn’t want to have to deal with it again, “then the rest of you can leave.”
“I want Remus here.”
The room falls silent as the two people who have such force in their gazes, such strength in their character stare each other down, until Regulus finally nods slight agreement.
“Fine, Barty, Evan, Panda, you can go.”
“I told you,” Evan interrupts, eyes firmly on Sirius and Lily, bouncing so quickly between the two Sirius feels as though he should move closer to the red head out of pure sympathy for Evans eyeballs “I’m not leaving you.”
Another staring competition, before Regulus concedes once more (the most agreement he has ever seen from his brother before, it’s honestly shocking), “Fine, but you can wait in the corner.”
“But-“
“No, if you must stay you can, but you don’t have to be involved in the conversation to look out for me do you?”
Another silent conversation, a staring competition, and Sirius begins to wonder just how close Regulus is to these people that he can speak to them with just his eyes, he feels a surge of jealousy begin to course through him, but he quickly shoves it down as Evan nods and turns away leaving Lily, Remus, James, Regulus and himself to discuss the conversations at hand.
“Right, what’s going on?” Lilys voice immediately cuts through the tension in the room, removing any potential for a lull in the conversation.
“Going to need you to be more specific than that.” Cuts in James’ voice, the first good deflection done since they ran into the four people waiting for them outside of Dumbledores study, and Sirius lets himself hope that maybe, just maybe, James will be able to handle himself in this war, maybe with just a little training….
“James.” She tries, her green eyes an icy stare.
“Lily.” He tries, a slight laugh to his tone as he leads the conversation as if nothing has changed, as if they didn’t just announce their allegiance to a blood supremacist in front of their muggleborn friend.
“What was that in the hall, you are joining Voldemort?”
“Yes.”
“James?”
“Yes?”
“Do you want me to die?”
“Of course not!” the distress is palpable in his eyes, his response so quick and desperate Sirius would laugh if the situation they were in wasn’t so awful.
“James?”
“Yeah?” he asked, his eyes wary.
“You just pledged you’re allegiances to a blood supremacist.” Lily raises one perfect eyebrow, staring him down, and Sirius watches as he simply squirms under her gaze, clearly unsure where to go with this, he tries to look to Sirius for help but with Lilys gaze never leaving him he seems somehow too nervous to turn his back on her, as if she will stab him in it, as if it wasn’t what they did to her first.
“He didn’t.” comes Regulus’ voice cutting in quickly, finally causing Lilys gaze to snap to him.
“Oh really? Are you going to try to convince me I didn’t hear what I know I did now?”
“No, I’m sure you heard what you did. But just remind me what it was your heard?” he asked in response, his eyes perfectly calm, his expression level as he waits for a response.
“They said that Voldemort would have a place for them by his side.”
“Yes, that wasn’t a pledge, a pledge is the dark mark, and I am sure if they both lifted up their sleeves you wouldn’t find one anywhere on their arms.”
“Surely-“
“And I distinctly remember their main complaints was not trusting Dumbledore, and my brother not wanting to be separated from me.”
“Yes well-“
“So, they aren’t blood supremacists, they are simply idiots who act before thinking, they could never stomach killing amuggleborn.”
“I know-“
“So they made a big public declaration distancing themselves from another power hungry man, admittedly they did go about it wrong” he offers, levelling a glare at the two boys, before looking back to Lily to continue on, “but they wouldn’t have had bad intentions.”
“You seem to know a lot considering you haven’t spoken to your brother in months.”
“I may not have spoken to him, but as you said he is my brother, people seem to keep forgetting that. despite everything I do know him, and I know that this is a simply misunderstanding. So if you don’t mind-“
“He didn’t need to do a big anti Dumbledore speech, he had another option.”
“What?” and it’s Regulus’ turn to looks confused this time.
“I am making my own side to the war, not a power hungry man putting peoples lives on the line, but a good side of the war, I offered it to him this morning, and yet he still chose to make a big display towards joining Voldemort.”
“Well-“
“Because it wasn’t a joke, or some stupid rebellion,” Sirius cut in, the guilt in his stomach gnawing at him, begging him not to continue on, but he pushed it aside, a chant of for Regulus, for Regulus, for Regulus, pulsing through his head until he could stomach admitting joining Voldemort, admitting that he has to leave these relationships behind.
For Regulus always for Regulus.
“We are joining him, I am fed up of being split from my brother. I refuse to let Dumbledore take him from me.”
“You think I don’t know that?” Lily asks, her voice dropping into a softer tone, “you think I don’t know James is joining so you don’t loose him, you think I don’t know your joining so you don’t loose Regulus. You think I don’t know Regulus is joining to keep you safe Sirius?”
“Wha-“ he blurts out, his mind a whirling mess, questioning how on earth Regulus is doing this for him, how he thought he was the one protecting his brother here, not the other way around, but Lily seems so certain, and he doesn’t know what to believe.
“What I want to know, is what your plan is, I know you dive headfirst into things, I know that protecting your brother or not, you would not join Voldemort purely to protect him, you would need assurances you aren’t helping the other side. So what is that assurance? What have you figured out? How can I help?”
“I am not-“ Regulus tries to cut in.
“No, I know you Regulus, you are friends with me a muggleborn, you clearly still care about your supposed blood traitor of a brother or you wouldn’t have followed me around this far, you are a good person who talks to me about house elf rights, do not tell me you are mentally committed to the death eaters.”
“I’m officially joining as of-“
“Mentally Reg, mentally. Do you believe their values?”
“Yes.”
“Call me a mudblood, call Remus a half breed-“
“Lily!” James and Sirius admonish in turn.
“Oh he knows,” she reveals, eyes firmly on Regulus who is still holding her gaze but Sirius can see him wavering, “He’s always known, before you guys figured it out I’m sure, and yet he hasn’t told, anyone, not even his precious lord.”
They all fall silent for a moment, eyes darting between each other quickly, trying to evaluate what is going on, to gather the pieces of the puzzles they all seem to be missing, Regulus being the only one with all the pieces.
“Tell you what Reg,” Lily starts, her eyes going dark, “you tell Voldemort about Remus, you tell him where I live, and I’ll believe you’ve fully changed, until then, I would like an explanation for that production in the hall.”
“We aren’t really-“
“James-“ Sirius tries to cut him off, but he can’t tell if his hearts fully in it.
“We aren’t joining him-“
“I could’ve guessed as much, now would you like to explain why you were acting as if you were?” Lily asks, her gaze softening gradually, but the determination, the fire in her eyes only growing.
“Regulus has figured something out-“
“James!”
“Regulus has figured something out that could change the tides of this war, and we need to do this to work it out, because we wont let him handle this alone.”
“Of course you won’t. I would expect nothing less. Now what’s your backup?” she asks simply, but the question, so honest and kind immediately stumps Sirius.
“What?” James asks, confusion lacing his tone and his face.
“If the only people who know what’s going on are going to act as spies, then the supposed big revelation that could end the war is in danger of dying with you if you get found out, you need someone else to know.”
“Pandora knows, we’re setting her up in a safehouse, I trust her.” Regulus’ eyes are fierce on this, as if daring any of them to question Pandora.
“And if it comes down to it being on Pandoras shoulders, is that really fair?”
“Well, we could tell Dumbledore?” Sirius tries to offer, he knows they just made a big old display in the great hall against the old man, but really that was just to get word back to Voldemort right? To make the change of sides more plausible, of course they can let Dumbledore in on the truth now, they just need a meeting with him without Barty in the room, breathing down their necks, but before he could further entertain that train of thought, Regulus Lily and James were all yelling in protest.
“No.”
“Why do none of you trust Dumbledore?”
“He is sending children to their death.”
“We all need to fight in this war, and it’s not like he wants them to die, it’s hard to lead a resistance without the ministries backing.”
“He wants to send your boyfriend to the wolf packs.” Lily cuts in, her eyes blazing with barely supressed fury.
Everyone goes silent for a minute, eyes darting between Sirius and Remus, all of their eyes holding the same fury Sirius is sure his are possessing.
“He what?” Sirius asks, voice shaking with rage.
“Do you still trust him?” Regulus turns to him, a slight smirk of righteous satisfaction on his lips counteracting the murderous rage in his eyes, clearly his brother still cares about his boyfriend, and it makes his heart slightly warm.
“Fine, no Dumbledore.” Sirius finds himself admitting begrudgingly, annoyed he had trusted the man so much, for so long, “What are we meant to do then?”
“Well unless you are suffering from amnesia, I believe I made an offer this morning?”
James’ Pov.
“An offer, what offer?” Regulus asked, his gaze confused darting between his brother and Lily, trying to make sense of the cryptic code they had been talking in.
James knows what they’re talking about, of course he knows what they were talking about, he had a similar conversation the other day, her own rebellion, third side of the war.
Another third side, James tries to tamper down his smile as he thinks about how there is actually 4 sides to this war, two unknown ones lead by people he trusts, and two led by power hungry mad men.
Because he wasn’t lying when he said he was fed up of following bad people into war, he wasn’t lying when he made that whole speech about Dumbledore targeting children.
When he saw Regulus bleeding out, when he saw this 18 year old boy recounting tales of horror from down in a chamber hidden in Dumbledors school, when he saw yet another kid thrown to the front lines all by himself because he didn’t trust Dumbledors competence, it struck a nerve.
Because up until then, he hates to admit it, but it really was out of sight out of mind, he didn’t see children dying on the front. He wonders if in a different world it would be different, if he would watch his friends slowly being killed off one by one, if he would still keep quiet, follow the old man. He wonders if he would have ever saw what was right in front of him.
But seeing Regulus lying in a pool of his own blood. Sitting by his side for a week, watching the boy, terrified he wouldn’t wake up, watching Sirius burn the mandrakes. Having a life in his hands, it changed James’ perception.
He saw an 18yr old doing more for the war than Dumbledore, and he saw an 18yr old nearly die for it, because he felt a need to end the war by himself, to stick to himself, because he didn’t feel safe telling the headmaster what he found, because he is a Slytherin.
A Slytherin Dumbledore had knowingly left in an abusive home even after Sirius got out.
And he hasn’t heard Regulus’ horror stories with the headmaster, though he’s sure he has some. It didn’t take that for him to realise Dumbledore could be just as dangerous as the enemy, that the enemies are within the castles walls, raising both sides of the war, allowing violence to stew without doing anything about it.
The point is, James no longer trusts the headmaster, but he trusts Lily.
And she may have a point, they may need someone with an outside perspective, they shouldn’t put all their eggs in one fake death eater basket and a Pandora who will be in hiding with (as Lily pointed out) no emergency backup at her beck and call.
So maybe they need to trust another person, just one more.
“Lily is making her own side of the war, she doesn’t trust Dumbledore either.” Sirius supplies to Regulus who had been looking on in confusion and growing annoyance as James continued to contemplate their options.
“A third side to the war?” Regulus asks.
“I thought we were the third side?” Sirius smiles, looking between them, a feeble attempt at easing the tension that James clings to.
“Fourth side really.”
“No, Reg started this side first, so really they would be the fourth side.”
“Wait Lily when did you start your plan for all this?”
“I-“ she goes to answer before swiftly being cut off by Remus.
“Well she spoke to me about it just over a week ago.”
“Wait your in this too?” James questioned, surprised how much he had missed in his ‘Regulus is in a coma’ induced haze.
“So we are the third side! Ha!” Sirius responded at the exact same time, jerking a finger in Remus’ face to laugh.
“Are you three done acting like children?” cuts in Regulus’ voice, cold and low as the three of them whip their heads around to stare at him like… well like children with their hands caught in a cookie jar. And Lily, who had been watching the display with mild amusement, simply rolls her eyes in response.
“Sorry Reg,” comes Remus’ voice, “So, are you going to tell us what you three have planned so we can help or-“
“No, we don’t need anyone, I don’t need anyone, you lot can go home stay out of this war and wait, it’ll sort itself out.”
“Reg, you can accept help.” Remus tries, exasperation already clouding his features as if this is a discussion they have already had many of times.
“Rich coming from you.” he snapped back immediately, and James watched, his own frustration rising as the two have their own little spat.
“Reg, please we are just trying to help.”
“Trying to help is trying to get yourself killed?” he scoffed, “Funny I didn’t think the two correlated.”
“Boys!” Lily cuts in again, and they both fall silent, Remus turning a sheepish glance to the redhead and Regulus a glare, but neither of them protest.
“Can we please, just work together to figure this out, going in blind to the death eaters is stupid.” She sends a look at Sirius and James as she utters the last bit, and James responds in turn, placing a hand to his heart in mock hurt as Sirius pretends to faint into him.
“This is hardly stupid, it’s perfectly well thought out.” Sirius protests immediately, but his eyes are twinkling with unfinished humour.
“Oh yeah, what are you going to do when asked to go on killing sprees, to torture? What will you do when you end up head to head with the order, with people following Dumbledores orders. What will you do when people you went to school with are trying to kill you?”
At Lilys rant, both boys fall silent, turning their gazes down and towards Remus, as if looking for guidance within the other boy, a habit both of them seem hard to break. Guilt curling in James’ gut at the realisation that he really hadn’t thought this through. He saw his friends in trouble- because he will be calling Regulus that thank you very much, no matter how long it takes to achieve it- and dove in headfirst.
His mum always said his loyalty would be the death of him. Begging him the day he got into Gryffindor to make sure he uses his head and stays safe. Boasting about the Slytherins brains.
He always thought she was silly, but he guesses she just knew. He should’ve figured really, nothing ever got past her.
But looking to Remus for guidance now, him and Lily apparently being the only Gryffindor’s with brains, is of no use, as he gave only one response, “Don’t look at me, you got yourself into this mess, we are simply offering you a hand out of it.”
“We don’t need a hand out of it,” a pause, “I don’t need a hand out of it,” Sirius amends looking to James, “Regulus is my brother, I am not leaving him.”
“I’m not leaving either of them.” James adds, loyalty rushing through him, flooding his body, bringing with it a surge of protectiveness, stubbornness, and a need to help taking over his mind.
“I’m not saying to leave Regulus, I’m not saying to leave any of them behind. I’m saying, having a contact on the other side, to give intel to, so that if you are ordered to go on killing sprees there is someone there to stop you. If you are ordered to kidnap someone there is someone to get to them first. I am saying you need a back up plan so you don’t look suspicious and don’t completely break your morals. You need an out.”
“Yeah cause no offence,” Remus swiftly adds onto Lilys points, “but I doubt either of you will be able to stomach any of that.”
“I will not take that as an offense.” James scoffs at the suggestion, “I’m quite glad you don’t view me as someone who can easily kill.”
“It is a problem James, you can’t get away with not hurting anyone.” Regulus cuts in, his so far never ending glare now landing on James making him squirm slightly, he’s half expecting to be pushed into a wall again. But really he doesn’t mind- he called him James, he cant help but think with a smile.
“I can try.”
“No you cant. It will get you killed, it will get my brother killed.”
“Then what do you suggest we do?”
“Leave, don’t fake joining the death eaters, tell everyone it was a prank, stop doing stupid things?” Regulus lists off, as if its most obvious.
“And what about you?”
“I will stick to my original plan.”
“Your original plan was a suicide mission.”
“It was working.”
“You were dying!” James all but yells, before lowering his voice at Barty and Evans heads whipping around from the other side of the room, and he continues in a frustrated whisper, “How is that working?!”
“I had it under control.”
“We have been over this you did not!”
“Regulus you are not doing this by yourself,” Sirius cuts in, worried eyes falling on his brother, “I am not standing aside to watch you get yourself killed.”
“Oh but if I got killed in the house after you ran away that would be fine.”
“You told me to leave!”
“Because I wanted you to be safe.” Regulus responds, his voice rising slightly but not ever reaching a yell, “not because I was, and if I’m going to die I would like it to be for something useful!”
“Your death wouldn’t be useful, it would be tragic!”
“No one would care about a boy in the death eaters who got in over his head.”
“We would.” Lily interrupts softly, before continuing, the fire back in her gaze “we would so please let us help you.”
“Reg if you think we are going to just watch you march off to a pit of snakes, you must have gotten us greatly confused with some other shit friends you haven’t told us about.” Remus interrupts, his eyes stern.
“I am a snake.”
“Not like them.” And it’s Sirius this time, stepping forward to try reach out for his brother, and despite the anger still pulsing in Regulus’ eyes, he lets him.
“You want Voldemort gone?” Lily asks.
“Yes.” But his voice is stiff, his grey eyes cold and hard.
“Then tell me, I won’t get involved, I wont join your quest or the death eaters, there wont be another person on your conscience. But if something goes wrong, I will be able to continue it on. And if something happens to me, then Remus is my second in command, we wont be going on the same missions as a safety protocol so he can take over.”
“I don’t think-“
“Pandora is going into hiding, yes? Don’t you want to make sure she can leave it one day.”
This seems to still Regulus for some unknown reason, and he shifts his gaze over to the girl on the other side of the room, watching her for a moment, his eyes shifting into a more determined kind of steel, and James feels a pang of jealousy run through him that he chooses to ignore.
“Fine, but just you, not Remus.”
“Reg, you can trust him.” Lily offers gently.
“I know that,” he responds harshly, before softening slightly, “but it isn’t just people ratting us out to Voldemort that’s a worry, it puts you in danger. Remus doesn’t need to know unless all four of us are out of action.”
“But then how would I find out?” Remus asks, his expression neutral, as if he has accepted the terms of his condition already.
“We can give you the location of Pandoras safehouse,” at this Remus nods slightly before Regulus moves forward closer to him, “I trust you Remus, but if a single thing happens to her, just know, I will kill you.”
“I’d expect nothing else.” He responds with a smile, as James watches the conversation wrap up, covered in confusion.
“Right,” Lily claps her hands together pleased, “Remus if you could give us a minute.”
He nods and walks off, before Sirius swiftly follows him, looking to James and Regulus as if in hope they can fill Lily in without him, which- judging by Regulus’ eyeroll- they can.
Slowly they begin to fill Lily in on the whole Horcrux situation, and despite her wide eyes and little shocked gasp here and then, she takes the news surprisingly well.
“This is brilliant!”
“What?” James asks, sure the shock that he heard on is voice sure to also be evident in his own features, he would have though knowledge of an immortal murdering blood supremacist would be bad news.
“Well it’s not great that he’s immortal, but it is finally a reason for why he is so successful, this knowledge that his greatest weakness is also his greatest strength is what we need to win, it’s brilliant, Regulus you’re brilliant.” She proclaims, turning to the other boy, her eyes shining with appreciation and hope.
“I didn’t do anything.” Regulus protests immediately, and James cant help the small smile that falls on his lips, despite the exasperated sigh that he lets out at the same time.
This boy can be so infuriating, so selfless, and yet he continues to act like it was all for selfish gains, he wishes Regulus could just understand how great he was, take a compliment, but then again the scowl on his face while he abashedly flusters at how to respond to Lilys praise, always opting for avoidance, is so adorable it-
No.
“You did do something Reg. You procured the venom to destroy it, you have made it so that when we find them, because we will,” she assures, such determination in her eyes that James believes her, “we won’t be stuck casting a risky spell or trying to find a Basilisk. You made this task have a purpose.”
“Well Pandora was there to.” he points out, once again deflecting compliments anyway he can.
It’s almost cute.
“And I’ll be sure to tell her she did great too.” Lily assures him, turning her head over her shoulder to look in the other girls direction. And when James follows her gaze, she sees Pandora already looking back, a slight smile on her lips that seems to have caused a blush to rise on Lilys face by the time she turns back around to look at them.
Huh.
“Now,” Lily starts up again, looking distinctly at Regulus this time, “I wanted to ask you about Barty.”
“Barty?” Regulus frowns, looking to the other boy and then back to Lily, “What about him?”
“Well, I don’t want to be like Dumbledores order, I don’t want to ignore people as potential recruits simply because of their house.”
“Because they’re Slytherins?” Regulus points out, a bit of cruelty sliiping into his tone.
“Exactly,” Lily responds with an eyeroll, “Dumbledore is many things, and one of them is certainly biased.”
“I thought you were going to compliment him then.”
“You know me better than that.” the redhead responds easily, her eyes never leaving Regulus, even as he nods curtly in agreement, “Point being, I don’t want to drag people into this war who don’t want to be in it, but from what I can see of Barty, he will be joining the war no matter what, I want your opinion of whether or not I should offer him an alternate side.”
“What do you think?” Regulus goes for, bouncing the question right back to her instead of answering it himself, James wonders if this is how their study sessions with Remus went, did they just bounce questions back and forth until one of them had yet another smart revelation about whatever topic was at hand?
“I would like to, I don’t want to be like Dumbledore.”
“You’re not,” and for the first time since the fight in the great hall James sees Regulus soften properly, “and if you think it’s a good idea, then go for it. I know he doesn’t like either option, but he’s Barty, so he isn’t going to just stand back. Give him a third option if you trust your judgment enough to do so.”
“Alright I will.”
“But I will warn you,” Regulus starts again with a smile just as Lily goes to turn around to call over the boy, “where Barty goes, Evan will follow.”
“Well I wouldn’t protest two new recruits, if you trust them?” Lily asks, a slight smile and a curious glance.
James watches as Regulus pauses for a moment, contemplation passing over his features, before a rare smile flicks over his face, and without turning back to look at either of them, keeping his gaze firmly on his three friends on the other side of the room, he supplies “I do.”
And that, apparently, is all it takes for Lily to call them both over.
James watches the two boys look up in slight confusion, before a smirk is practically plastered over Bartys face and he saunters over to join the conversation, Evan displaying wary determination and following in tow.
“Knew you wouldn’t want to hold a conversation without me for too long Reg.” Barty smirks.
“Yes, it was absolutely horrific.” Regulus deadpans, to which he is met with Bartys immediate laughter.
“You alright Reg?” comes Evans voice, calm and determined, but a hint of worry always hiding away in his eyes.
“Fine Evan.” Regulus responds, none of his features softening, but he looks Evan directly in the eye as if to provide him with some private, unspoken reassurance, and Evan immediately straightens his shoulders before turning to face Lily.
“What do you need Evans?” he asks, a new found confidence in his demeanour.
“I wanted to speak to you about the war, Regulus?” she asks, offering him the floor.
“The way I see it you have two options, one go into hiding with Pandora” Regulus offers, his gaze once again flitting to the blonde, as if seeking reassurance she is still in the room, “or two, fight in the war on Lilys side.”
“Lilys side?” Barty asks, curiosity covering his face.
“Yes, I am making my own form of resistance, because I quite frankly do not trust either of the power hungry men in charge, and I wanted to extend an offer to the two of you.”
“But we’re Slytherins.” Is Evans immediate protest.
“I am aware.”
“And you don’t care?” comes Bartys confused voice.
“As I said, I want a different option for people to join in this war, not one following a man who fights the other saying they are the better option whilst both hold blatant biases. I don’t care if you are Slytherins, Slytherins simply mean you are cunning and resourceful, both useful traits I don’t think should be ignored because of unnecessary and harmful stereotypes.” Lily respond, fire in her gaze so strong, James is sure the other two will have to follow through.
Barty looks to Evan, a question James cant fully comprehend in his own gaze, as if asking the other boy for his opinion, no words necessary.
“If your parents weren’t involved which side would you pick?” Comes Regulus’ voice, breaking through the unclear fog in the room, that seemed to have spawned around the two boys silent conversation.
“There is no use addressing useless hypotheticals.” Is Evans immediate retort.
“This isn’t useless, Pandora is going into hiding, you don’t have to worry about her, if you join a side you have protection, you didn’t have that option before because of Dumbledore and now you do.”
“What are you doing?” Evan responds easily, eyes darting over Regulus’ face before settling on his eyes.
“I am joining the death eaters.”
“You mean you’re faking.” Cuts in Barty, a slight sneer to his voice.
“Yes.” Regulus responds simply, his face calm and impassive, but the conversation leaves an uneasy feeling in James’ gut so he tries to taper it off.
“Reg-“ James tries.
“No, I trust them.” Is all he gets in response, Regulus not even deigning to look at him, his eyes never leaving Barty or Evan.
“You have a plan.” Barty states as a fact and less of a question.
“Yes.”
“You wont tell us?” Evan adds, also voicing his own question, but stated with such certainty it comes across as a statement too
“Correct.”
“Well I’ll follow you then.”
“Evan-“
“No, it was always the plan, follow you into the death eaters, stay safe from our parents, wait until you strayed and then follow you again.”
“You knew I would stray?” Regulus asks, his brow furrowing in silent contemplation as he looks to his two friends before him.
“If you hadn’t already, then we knew you would eventually, yes.” Evan responds easily, his eyes slightly sad, “I was never following the death eaters because of my parents, I would rather die quite frankly, but I knew one day, when you’d gotten in too deep, when you found something, started to claw your way out, I knew you would do it stupidly, I knew I would need to be there. So here I am.”
“Me too,” Comes Bartys voice, and James feels almost as if he has whiplash, of course ha always trusted Regulus, of course he didn’t think he would hang around the worst circle of death eaters, he was too good for that, James knew it, but still, in Slytherin there weren’t many options, and hearing supposed death eaters so blatantly state they couldn’t care less about Voldemort, well, it felt like whiplash. And before James can process it, Barty is continuing.
“It’s the same thing I said to Dorcas, I’m not leaving Evan, I’m not leaving you, I’m not leaving Pan. I didn’t want to leave her either, but she had a safety net, she didn’t need me. Pan is going into hiding, she’ll be ok. And even if Evan went into hiding, which I wish he would,” he adds, turning an annoyed look on the other boy, “I wouldn’t leave you by yourself. If either of you are joining the death eaters, fake or not, I’m following to.” he says with such determination, James can tell the matter is settled, even if he sees the utter need to protest written across Regulus’ face.
“Now, what the fuck happened in the hall with Potter and Black?” Evan asks, a laugh ripping from his mouth despite the unease in his eyes.
And so they call over the rest of the room, filling them in on everything minus the horcruxes, for now that will stay between him, Regulus, Sirius, Pandora and Lily.