Wednesday 28th June 1978.
Lilys Pov-
Lily wakes up early, a mixture of anticipation in the form of anxiety and eagerness flooding through her.
She feels guilty to be so excited about such a sad meeting to be held later in the day, but she can’t help it. This meeting might be just what she needs to start recruiting.
Dumbledore announced a week ago that a meeting will be held today in regards to certain deaths that have struck the school recently.
Ultimately, that is just a disguise for what it really is, the disguise being a funeral type of meeting that is meant to be full of mourning for those lost, for comradery.
But Lily isn’t fooled, she knows what this meeting is to the headmaster, it’s a head hunting opportunity.
A chance to gage reactions to certain comments and hints he lets slide in his speech.
It’s a way for him to find who will be most eager to join his cause.
His army.
His own form of resistance that he labels as good whilst knowingly, willingly sending children who are barely out of school on suicide missions.
And none of them will bat an eye, because who sees themselves as young?
That’s what makes it so easy for him, none of these students view themselves as easily swayed or controlled, they see this person they have put there trust in for 7 years. Who they learnt to trust when they were only 11, when they shouldn’t have had to be watching their backs at every turn. They see their headmaster and they trust him, and he uses this bond, this imagery of him being seen as a protector that he developed for himself before any of his students were old enough to question it, and then he sends them to their deaths.
To werewolf packs.
To trauma.
And it makes Lily sick.
What makes her more sick is she knows she will have to do something similar, something equally as bad.
But there is a difference.
She will not be recruiting people who feel they are indebted to her.
She will not be recruiting people who view her as this powerful protective figure, but rather she will recruit people with the truth.
She will not send people off on missions by themselves.
She will make sure people know they can leave.
And she will be risking herself too, unlike the headmaster who likes to sit behind a desk in his cozy office letting people sacrifice themselves, she will not be doing that, she will be first to the front lines. She will lead by example, she will throw herself in the throngs of battle. She will not be sending people out to missions because it’s easier for her that way, she will be sending people into missions because she needs more numbers, to which she already is one, because she is on her own mission.
And if she needs a spy on the other side, that role will fall to her. No one will be hurt because she is cowardly and hiding behind them.
Essentially there is one fundamental difference between the two of them. Dumbledore will be ruling and army of soldiers, and Lily will be leading a resistance of people.
It’s a very big distinction, and the only one getting Lily through this.
So, she will attend the meeting later, and she will watch Albus, and she will keep a look out for the students that seem sympathetic to his speech, and she will intercept, and she will steal his soldiers. And if she can’t, she will divert them away from his ranks anyway.
He is not killing any more children.
They may be 17/18, they may be of age, but they are his students, they should be children to him.
But first, she has to close ranks on her own.
She will save everyone she can, but she will be damned if she doesn’t first protect her own.
She tried with James yesterday, and she’s not done with him, he is too good to give up on. He is too human to give up on, but then again, everyone is.
But there are other people to address. She has Remus and she will come back to James. She isn’t too worried about the girls or Peter, but she will address them all with her plans before they all leave for the last time on Friday.
But not everyone seems to be as straightforward. Sirius for example, Sirius was acting odd at the meeting on Friday, not James odd- who seemed to be actively defiant, but out of it odd, like he didn’t even realise where he was.
But where James goes, what James thinks, Sirius is never far from.
So she needs to hunt him down sooner rather than later. Close in the ranks around the people she cares about, keep them safe.
But that leaves one problem, in the form of Regulus. She refuses to believe he is bad even for a moment. If he came to her begging for shelter she would give it in a heartbeat, but he has been lost to her and Remus for months now, so she doesn’t know how to address recruiting him.
She doesn’t want to divulge the secrets of her plans. To put people at risk who she will be recruiting, who don’t know the boy, who don’t trust him, even if she does. She doesn’t want to make the decision of risking trust in regards to Regulus on other people’s behalf.
But she does want to ensure he has an out if he needs it, that he knows there is another options, one that doesn’t lie with a power hungry man as James seemed to point out.
She wants to give him something, if only to ease her own discomfort and guilt at even the thought of leaving him behind.
Because she doesn’t see a death eater when she looks at him, no. She sees the boy left behind by his older brother, secluding himself from his brothers world unwillingly. She sees him putting on a brave face, sees him backed into a corner surrounded by bad options, crumbling with no one to help him, his safety net gone in one night, the night his brother fled. His brother who had always promised him his support, the support Lily knows he would’ve planned to leave behind one day when he would have inevitably been ready to make something of himself. She sees how he had always expected to have that support to be able to fall back on, how he had always expected to get to choose when to let that support go. She saw when he instead had it swept out from under his feet, leaving him to fumble, to grasp onto some semblance of a life he didn’t understand without his other half. And she saw his blood status pushing him away from one side of the war and towards the other, feeling stuck with no options, no options of house, of family, of opportunity, of escape from the box he was placed into by his blood and his brother.
She sees herself, left behind in life by Petunia after she got her letter. Excluded from her sisters life, the muggle world she was no longer a part of. Feels herself putting on a brave face when backed into a corner in terms of options, when crumbling with no one to comfort her, her safety net gone in the mere letter it took her sister to leave. The sister who had always promised her support, the support she planned to leave behind one day when she made something of herself, but had always expected to have as a back up plan, always expected to choose when she would leave behind. Saw how it was instead pulled from under feet. She saw her blood status always pushing her in one direction never with another choice, never another option of house, of friends, of opportunity, of escape from the box she was paced into by her blood and her sister.
She saw all this, and she couldn’t hate him.
She couldn’t.
Because the cards she was dealt forced her into a side of the world- a side of the war. And yes, it was the side she would’ve picked from the beginning, but despite that, she still finds herself resentful daily, that she didn’t get to choose to be good, it was her only ever option, and that made her feel slightly less moral in her own eyes.
And she saw the cards Regulus was dealt, pushing him into a life of cruelty and abuse, and mind washing prejudice, and yet he had still sat down with a muggleborn and a werewolf and smiled. He pushed against the corner he was backed into. And he resented having the options stolen from them.
Lily resented her lack of choice, even if she was happy with where these lack of choice placed her.
She can’t imagine how resentful Regulus is, the fact that he is still standing.
That his eyes can still spark hope in her stomach. His life can still fill her with warmth, his name cans still fill her with longing.
So no, she just can’t hate him.
No matter what he does she cant. She may not trust him, but she does not hate him. She is in awe of him, the fact that he is still standing. And she will give him another option.
She will give them all another option, she will not be the prejudiced asshole of Dumbledore, raising a quarter of the school as enemies.
Almost as if he wished for a war, wished for a big final battle, so he not only drew his own battle lines by recruiting his army of students, he raised his enemies battle lines by raising children to burn with hatred.
She cant help but think that a lot of parents are like that too.
They raise you with a certain belief system, all the while pushing you towards the enemies one.
Kind of lily Barty Crouch Sr, Lily thinks bitterly, and she cant help but be resolute in more ways than one.
She is not biased on who she recruits, and she will not manipulate them either.
She will use this meeting later to mess up all of Albus’ plans. And in the meantime, she needs to find Sirius and Regulus.
And, admittedly, Barty.
“Hey Red.”
Lily whips around, her eyes settling on Sirius and she grins.
“What?” Sirius asks, eyes darting around nervously.
“What do you mean what?” she asks with a laugh walking up to link their arms and drag him out onto the Hogwarts grounds.
“You’re looking at me how I assume I look at you when I need something, or am trying to lie plausible deniability for a prank.”
She all but rolls her eyes, the smile on her face bright as she tries to ignore the fact that all this childishness might come to an abrupt halt when school ends.
That she’ll miss his childishness, crave it.
If only for a semblance of normalcy she knows they’re all about to lose.
“I’m just happy to see you.”
“You are being freakishly nice.” He responds warily, but she can see the grin creeping up and onto his face.
“I can stop if you’d like.” She responds rolling her eyes.
“No no, its fine…ignoring the creeping feeling that you’re plotting my murder.” He jokes back.
“Oh yes, that would make me happy.” Shre response neutrality as he clutches a hand to his heart over dramatically, clenching his arm around Lilys’ as he does so.
“So what’s up Red?”
“You called over to me.”
“Mmmm, but you have a tense look in your eyes, and you’ve been acting weird.” He says, and there is concern etched into his features, and Lily just decides to jump straight into the deep end, no more beating around the bush like she did with Remus and James, she thought it would help, but it just painfully drags out the inevitable result.
So she takes a breath and starts, “I’m not going to join Dumbledores order, I’m making my own. I don’t trust him, I don’t feel safe leaving any of you around him, and I want you to help me.”
Sirius pauses for a moment, eyes wide, no semblance of a joke on his face as he looks to hers, and sees the honesty she knows must be reflecting across her features.
She watches him for a moment, as he is almost frozen in time, except for the slight curls fluttering over his face, most swaying gently to the left with the wind except for a tiny front bit that flutters forward with his every breath, before finally jerking forward with much more vigour as he lets out a stronger breath before continuing to talk.
“You’re joking.” He says, his face that unsettling Black family level of neutrality, and he pauses for a moment before stalking off, but with her arm still trapped in his, she resigns herself to following after him.
“I’m not.” She responds calmly, and he just keeps walking.
“No.”
“Yes.”
“NO.” he snaps, louder this time.
“Sirius,” she snaps back slightly, trying to get his attention, “do you trust me?”
“I don’t see how that’s relevant.”
“Just answer.”
“I-“ he pauses, and she just waits, not pushing, until he lets out a sigh, that tendril of hair blowing out aggressively again, “Yes,” another pause and an eyeroll, “Obviously.”
“Then what’s the problem?” he asks.
“Why don’t you trust Dumbledore?” he asks.
And she thinks, honestly thinks, about telling him about Remus, and Dumbledores plans with the werewolves, but honestly, it feels like manipulation to her, and she refuses to let go of her integrity unless it’s absolutely necessary in this war, she needs something to hold onto after all.
Besides, if she did tell him he would likely explode and go yell at the headmaster, which could only result in him accidentally outing her counter resistance plan in his all-consuming anger
And she won’t let that happen.
So she switches tactics.
“Do you trust him?” she asks.
“What?”
“Dumbledore, you ignored him in the meeting the other day, so did James, it felt almost like a boycott.”
“I just wasn’t thinking straight.”
“What were you thinking about?”
“Doesn’t matter.”
“Was it your brother?” she cant stop herself from asking, she hasn’t seen him in a week, Sirius hasn’t begrudged or spoken to him since he ran away from home, except when he tried to follow him out of the hall yesterday morning- only for James to stop him with some kind of look. And Sirius hasn’t been hating on his brother either, which Lily is sure he would do in excess to try distance himself from his family in this war in order to make his allegiances clear.
She doesn’t know what is going on, she needs to know, he doesn’t seem bad, Regulus as never seemed bad.
But Sirius stiffens in her arms, finally pulling his arm from her grip.
“I haven’t spoken to him.”
“Sirius,” she starts softly, “You know if you have I won’t judge.”
“No, I haven’t spoken to him one bit, I barely know what’s going on with him,” and he sounds angry, but his eyes seem clouded over and sad.
“Sirius-“ she tries again, before he’s abruptly shrugging off her arm and walking away.
Remus’ Pov-
Walking into the meeting/assembly was nerve racking.
He isn’t entirely sure why, but he is sure Lily has some plan in regards to this ‘announcement of commiserations’ Dumbledore has insisted on doing, and he wants to help.
When he bought it up to Lily however, her only advice was to ‘take note of who looks swayed by Dumbledore, like they want to trust him, want to fight’, so he can only assume this is some anti recruitment plan Lily has in order to oppose the order of the phoenix.
Some days he doubts his allegiance with Lily, whether they should be making this all the more difficult than it already is. Whether the entire resistance should be together as one. Whether or not Dumbledore is in charge, should they really be going behind his back. Their side of the war already seems weak enough, do they really want to split it in two?
Nevertheless, despite his whole anxious spiralling over whether he trusts Dumbledore, whether he agrees with Lilys plan, the end result does come down to the fact that Remus does trust Lily and is now in full support of doing what she needs, so he is going to do what she asks even if he doesn’t understand what for.
And he isn’t going to stare at Regulus the whole time, hoping for the slightest flicker in his appearance that could indicate he’s on their side.
He is going to be helpful, and he is not going to be hung up on people who can’t be saved.
Slowly they file into the hall, floods of students at a time, until only the last few people are flickering through, which seem to be Lily, James, Sirius, and a few bored looking Slytherins.
He knows why Lily entered last, she wanted a greater view point of the people in the hall.
He knows why the Slytherins are late, they likely don’t care about the death announcements Dumbledore has to make, probably even glad of most of them.
But James and Sirius? He has seen them rage and freeze over the deaths of muggles and muggleborns, seen them comfort distraught students who were scared or directed effectively, and now they look almost… bored?
This is a meeting to pay respects to students lost, families lost, to bring the school together, and Sirius Black is… yawning?
The look as fed up as the last few Slytherin students filtering in, more so.
Sirius’ face is twisted into bored indifference, he’s inspecting his nails and whispering to James with poorly disguised laughter.
And James, James also has a blank mask set onto his face but his looks more uncomfortable, he looks pissed off and regretful, and a medley of emotions that Remus has never seen take up residence on James’ face before.
He stares at them both for a moment before shaking off his stupor and raising a questioning eyebrow at them, to which Sirius raises one straight back with a smirk stitched on his face, and James just stares through him as if he’s not really there.
He tries to get their attention, to wave them over, but they end up closer to the divide between the Slytherin portion of the students and the Ravenclaws, distancing themselves from him, and he gets the distinct feeling this is intentional.
He turns his gaze to Lily who is the last to enter the hall, her shoulders set straight, her eyes set forward in a determined stare, but when he catches her eye, she merely gives him a slight smile of acknowledgment, before continuing to scan the group of students- her steps never faltering, before she pushes herself one row of students into the crowd, settling – alike James and Sirius- in the divided line between Ravenclaw and Slytherin, he thinks this is a pretty risky move for a muggleborn, and is about to move forward towards her, to provide an alliance, a bit of support, but before he does, he notices a familiar mop of black hair two students to her left and realises quickly why she chose that spot.
Regulus.
Despite her obviously intentional placement in the room, she keeps her eyes firmly locked forward and towards the front of the room, keeping the headmaster in her sights.
And to anyone else she may have chose that spot on accident, but he sees Regulus’ head turn a fraction, watches the furrow of his brows before he wipes his face clean, and realises they are the only three people in the room who know Lily chose her spot intentionally.
What is she up to?
He turns his attention back to the front of the room as he hears a cleared throat and the headmasters voice beginning to take over the hall, reverberating off of the high walls.
“Welcome, and thank you all for joining me here today.”
Remus resists the urge to roll his eyes, purely out of respect for the dead and not at all for Dumbledore, who his respect for he has found to be rapidly declining since watching all his friends seemingly both intentionally and mindlessly drifting away from the headmaster.
“Today we gather to pay our respects, to acknowledge, to mourn, and to celebrate the lives taken too soon, in such unnecessarily, devastating way.”
And this is it, Remus can see how he is starting to infiltrate his carefully crafted words into his speech, ‘unnecessarily devasting’, it may be true, but it isn’t a necessary time to mention it, right now is a time for mourning, not anger, not rallying the troops.
But Dumbledore seems to disagree.
“Young people, students, families of your friends, have been hurt, killed, mercilessly, and we are here to remember them, their lives, the hearts they touched, we are here together to unite as one as we must at these trying times.”
Like in armies? Remus cant help but think, hearing the scoff in his own internal dialogue.
He understands Dumbledores use for him, he is a monster, he may as well use his unfortunate condition to at least try and help people, to make up for his own existence.
But his friends, the children, his child soldiers?
Remus knows it’s too much, but Dumbledore doesn’t seem to, or at least he doesn’t seem to care as he continues his speech.
“Eliza Williams, Aurora Peters, Richard Jones, Katherine Jones, David Kiersey, Peter Coren-“
He listens as Dumbledore continues to list off names, giving them all their own individual tribute, their slight mention. It’s the least he can do if he is using their deaths as a matter of convenience to recruit more children..
So as Dumbledore continues to prattle off names, he finds his eyes trailing off to the side unwillingly before landing on Regulus.
Regulus who isn’t reacting, he isn’t smirking like some of his house mates, he isn’t crying like some of the other students. He is completely neutral, that perfect Black family mask covering his face removing any possibility of Remus reading into what he’s thinking.
Probably glad, probably knew some of the names on that list, probably knew it would happen.
No, no, no, no.
His mind fights itself over and over again, it’s Regulus who is nice to house elves, he’s not a murderer.
Regulus who studied with them.
Regulus who couldn’t settle in a seat unless his back was to a corner, protected.
Regulus who is human, not a murderer.
But that doesn’t stop anyone else does it? Are you a good person if you try so desperately to forgive the bad. If you know someone has hurt others and choose to seek repentance within them anyway, for your own selfish reasons of not wanting to loose a friend. Can you really call yourself good after all of that?
Eventually he finds the blind faith part of his mind just as loud as the logical half.
And he pulls his gaze away from Regulus.
This isn’t helping, he needs to look for students who seem reciprocal to Dumbledore's message. He starts darting his eyes around the room, but hardly sees anyone that could possibly understand the true meaning of this assembly. Most people just seem sad or mad. In mourning or celebration.
He sees the tear streaked faces, the grief stricken students. Sees younger years grasping onto their friends as if they alone can keep them tethered, comforted. Sees siblings breaking their house lines to comfort the others, sees Slytherins looking uncomfortable, Gryffindors looking scared, Ravenclaws lost and Hufflepuffs mad.
He sees a flurry of reactions and contradictions that make him wonder why anyone was ever sorted at all. Why sides of the war are expected based off your house, why siblings have to seek each other out in these trying times because their so called ‘personalities’ differed when they were 11 and they were placed in different parts of the school.
He sees so many different reactions, but sees no one looking curious to Dumbledore's words, he only sees defeat and sorrow and joy. He only sees people being human.
He turns his eyes back to Lily, to see if she has her gaze locked on anyone, if she has an idea of who seems supportive of Dumbledore's impressions, but he find her gaze locked to the side on Regulus face, before quickly snapping her eyes back to Dumbledore, as if trying to hide her connection to Regulus, to protect him or her, he doesn’t know.
But as he attempts to follow her gaze back to Regulus, Dumbledore voice filters into his head again, and he allows himself to start processing the headmasters words.
“-difficult time, it is why we need to stand up, be as one. Standing to the side is no longer an option, turning a blind eye is no longer an option. You were sorted into your houses because of who you are on the inside, but I know each of you have bravery, compassion, wit. Use it, now more than ever.”
He hears Dumbledors words, but he cant tear his eyes away from the people to his left, Lily and Regulus have their eyes locked on Dumbledore, matching contempt on their faces as they both scowl at the headmaster and his words.
“I know you are young, but you are the voice of our future, you choose what our world becomes, I place the choice in your hands, you control our world.”
At this Remus feels his anger bubbling up, but it settles slightly as he watches Lily and Regulus, once again, match.
Both rolling their eyes, fury coursing through their faces.
And it seems more than just Dumbledore being the enemy of ‘Regulus’ side’, no Regulus’ contempt for Dumbledore seems personal.
He didn’t react to the deaths, didn’t gloat, held any emotions he felt in perfectly. But his fury at Dumbledore couldn’t be held in? It must be personal, that’s the only thing that ever seemed to break Regulus’ façade, his brother. Occasionally Pandora. When things were personal and he could no longer choose to be numb to them out of mere self-preservation.
And now, it seems, Dumbledore has become a threat to at least one of them.
Maybe even Lily and Remus if Regulus still cares.
Nothing else would break his mask. And it’s not like the order is exactly as secret as its meant to be. He is sure Regulus knows of it. Knows Sirius would join it. Regulus wouldn’t like that.
Remus doesn’t know much about the night Sirius ran away from home, but Sirius was adamant Regulus was protecting him. And yes, Regulus has been avoiding Lily and Remus since, but not angrily.
He was completely civil in the library the other day.
Everything points to Regulus being a death eater.
Everything points to him protecting his brother- the face he is making at the headmaster right now for one.
And those two things can’t go hand in hand. Remus refuses to let himself hope- it only breeds disappointment.
But for Regulus he will.
There must be more to the story, something Sirius didn’t tell Remus. Something Regulus didn’t tell Sirius. It’s a flurry of miscommunications and information being left out, because Remus isn’t giving up on Regulus- not this easily.
His gaze goes back to Lily, who is watching Regulus with an almost neutral expression, but he can see the slight twist in her lips, the slight spark in her eyes.
Hope.
Maybe that’s why he sent Sirius away, maybe its why he’s glaring at Dumbledore, maybe it’s why Sirius is acting odd.
Maybe it’s all one big miscommunication that has been holding Remus’ hope tight gripped in its hand, above his head, but he can see it now. He is gripping it, he is latching on, he is tugging it down, fighting for it back.
He has been wondering for a while what happened that easter, has been wondering why Sirius has not been making announcements, stomping on Regulus’ name to prove his own morality.
He gets it now, he must be missing something.
He knew he was, he just didn’t realise how significant it might be.
Just as he comes to this conclusion, he hears a shout, loud, echoing over the hall, flooding over Dumbledore's voice.
“BULLSHIT!”
Pandoras Pov-
The hall fell silent, for only a split second before the yelling continued.
“Fucking rubbish.” Sirius yelled adding onto his prior statement.
Pandora watched as the hall seemed to divide down the middle, students turning in place from where they stood making a perfect pathway down the middle for Sirius and James to walk down and towards the headmaster.
“Young Mr Black, please refrain from such language we are in the middle of a memorial service.” Albus responded, the twinkle in his eye dimming slightly as he took in the two boys in front of him and the way the whole hall was hanging onto Sirius’ every word.
“Liar,” comes a scoff from Sirius’ left. James.
“Excuse me Mr Potter?” and Dumbledores voice is so calm, it’s as if he is completely unaffected by the situation at hand, waiting for some big joke to come in, to find he is the but of the prank, but the smile on his face is there and his eyes are not roaming, they are dead set on the two boys.”
“I said liar, this isn’t a memorial service, it’s a recruitment game.” And oh, they’re smart, Pandora had known since the beginning what Dumbledore views as ‘good’, she has seen many of his plans, his armies, his speeches, and unlike everyone else, she seems to be the only one who actually hears them for what they are, listens to what it is he is truly saying.
Well, other than Regulus, but even he didn’t figure it out till third year.
She thought this speech was the same as all the others, everyone bored or sad, but no one suspicious.
But now James and Sirius are speaking up, and now she catches view of Lily, the fiery red hair framing her face, and she notes that, unlike the rest of the hall, alike her and Regulus, she doesn’t seem shocked by what they are saying, whipping her head back and forth between the boys and Dumbledore.
No, like herself, like Regulus, her eyes are locked on the boys, her surprise isn’t with the admittance, with the revelation in Dumbledores plans, her shock lies with the boys speaking up about it so outwardly.
“Now Mr Potter-“ Dumbledore starts before being quickly cut off.
“No, don’t Mr Potter him,” Sirius cuts in, blind fury coursing through his eyes, and this is it, they listened, betray him to save him, it’s the sad sad truth, “or is that how you reason it to yourself headmaster?” he asks, the title falling off his tongue mockingly, “you address us all with titles, call us Mr and Miss, is that how you do it, does it allow you to forget?” he asks, and he is sneering at this point, and if she hadn’t told them to do something like this, she would’ve believed that Sirius was on the verge of jumping across the room and snapping the headmasters neck he seemed so believably mad.
“Forget what Mr Black.” Dumbledore asked in response, his poise of calm never leaving, but Pandora could almost feel the frustration radiating off of him.
“That we’re children, that you are recruiting children to go into wars and armies.”
“You were all of age.”
At this James, who had barely contributed, seems to snap.
“You know I’m pretty sure that’s the exact logic the Dark Lord uses when he brands your students, the second they get out of school.”
“Mr Po-“
“No, you tell us how good you are, how everything you do is for the greater good, and yet you’re just another power hungry mad man, at least the Dark Lord is open with his agenda. He’s not the snake, you are, hiding in the grass waiting to drag students into your grasp.”
“Now-“
“No, is that what you do Headmaster, do you watch the first years come into school, the 11yr olds? Do you watch them get sorted and start crafting plans to indoctrinate them into war the second they’re of age?” James is seething at this point, his face red, and Pandora is beginning to wonder if, unlike Sirius who she is sure is acting purely for the sake of his brother, James is actually is beginning to distrust Dumbledore.
She hopes he is, it would only benefit him.
“People who wish to fight, are given the option, they are not coerced into it.” The headmaster argues back, his frustration becoming clear in his tone.
“No?” and it’s Sirius this time, “What about the Slytherins?”
“All students are permitted free will within these walls to make their own decisions.”
At this point, even the most committed death eaters in training in Slytherin house are scoffing, the idea of free will probably so far fetched from them and their families that they can’t prevent the disbelief in their faces at the headmasters words.
“Are they,” Sirius asks coldly, the anger gone from his tone, almost blank in response, “was I given the choice and free will?”
“Yes, you left,” he responds calmly, “however I don’t think-“
“Oh yes that lovely free will of mine, the free will to choose between two options, death eaters or potential death.”
“But you are alive now.”
“No thanks to you!” James lets out in a rush of fury, almost compensating the fury Sirius has seemingly grown to lack.
“Mr Black made the right choice, we are all to be grateful-“
“Did I?”
The hall falls silent, more silent than before where baited breaths were let out intermittently, were people gasped, and whipped heads around causing rustle of fabric and robes.
No, this time not a single person moves, breaths, gasps.
“Pardon Mr Black?” Dumbledore asks, causing a slight break in the silence.
“Maybe I made a mistake, I don’t regret leaving my family, but maybe I do regret leaving the Dark Lord, at least he didn’t act as if he was here for me all the while letting me die in a house, at least he isn’t recruiting children that were supposed to be in his care, in fact,” and Sirius laughs here, “if I had stayed with him, I would still have my brother.”
At this the hall breaks out into whispers, she watches as Hufflepuffs and Gryffindors shift away from Sirius slightly, watches as Lilys eyes widen, almost as if she’s having a revelation, she senses Regulus tense up fractionally just by looking at him.
The only people who don’t react are her, James and Dumbledore.
“That is your prerogative Mr Black, however I would advise-“
“Why should he listen to your advice?” James cuts in here, “hasn’t done him well so far.”
“Now Mr Potter.”
“Aurora Peters.” Pandora speaks up at this point, pushing herself forward and into the space in the middle closer towards James and Sirius, whose eyes gleam in response to her movement.
“Miss Rosier?” Dumbledore asks.
“She was a student of yours that you just mentioned in the memorial, she was also one who joined your order of the phoenix, she died 2 months ago, she graduated last year. She was 18. You got her killed.”
She speaks completely calmly, her eyes set on Dumbledore, quiet destruction.
“Now Miss Rosier.” But she hears him falter a bit and it only spurs her on, “Now you mentioned Richard, if I remember correctly, he died trying to escape his family who were loyal to Voldemort” she hears a gasp ripple through the room at the mention of his name, but Pandora remains unaffected, avoiding a name only gives it more power, “if I continue to remember correctly, he asked you for help. Now I don’t know what happened there, but I can assume the help offered was an out after the war ended and he had completed his duties as a spy.”
She pauses for a second, and when Dumbledore doesn’t try to interrupt her for the first time, she keeps going.
“Now a name I don’t believe you mentioned, was Melissa Arthy.”
“She was a death eater.”
“She was a student of yours, who died 2 months after leaving the school.”
“She died within Voldemort’s ranks.”
“She did, but how did she end up there?”
“My dear child, I cannot control another’s decisions.”
“No? but you can have blatant house prejudices, you can ignore and support house rivalries, you can withdraw help from students of certain families. You sort 11 year old children, and then raise them in a house indicating they have to be a certain way, and never once offer them another option.”
“She had her own mind.”
“She was 11!” Pandora exclaims, her voice finally raising slightly, before gesturing at the Slytherin group to continue, “they were 11.”
“I think, headmaster,” James cuts in, his voice cold, “that I was wrong to follow you as long as I did, I would rather follow some honest in their opinions.”
“You don’t mean-”
“I’m sure there is a seat at Voldemort’s side for two loyal purebloods.” He states completely calm, stepping closer to Sirius.
It is at this point that chaos breaks out, Barty breaking out of the fold.
“Yeah, fuck you!”
“Barty.” She hears Evans desperate voice break out from the crowd behind them, senses his arm reaching out to try and grasp the other boy back.
“You are getting my friends killed, you never fucking help them, and then you wail on about the greater bloody good.”
“Mr Crouch.”
“DON’T BLOODY CALL ME THAT. I am not my fathers son, you know what?” he spits, “You remind me of him.”
And with that Barty raises his wand and sends a firework spell towards the headmaster, so it explodes just above his head in a vibrant green, a warning shot.
“SILENCE.” The headmasters voice reverberates across the hall, and silence falls, for a split second.
“Fuck you!” is then yelled by a group of Slytherins, and more curses are being cast around, the hall going up in a flurry of colours and lights, Pandora watches as a bunch of Gryffindors fall forward to meet the Slytherins halfway, the Hufflepuffs trying to heard away the younger years, and the Ravenclaws seemingly split between joining in an just sitting back to watch, to observe, or to revel in the downfall of this blasted school.
In the middle of it, Pandora can see Sirius and James casting curses too, none dangerous or fatal by the look of the light, but all being send towards the Gryffindors none the less.
Pandora watches as Barty throws himself into the middle of it, firing off more spells they had been practicing together, watching soot fall across anyone in his line of sight, fire chasing people out of the hall.
Its hot and it’s burning, and Pandora just watches revelling in it, revelling in Dumbledores loss of control.
All too soon, teachers are at every point of the school, students are being rounded up, and Dumbledore is turning on her, Barty, James and Sirius to pull them up to his office.
As they go, making there way through the first war zone she is sure many of them have seen, she sees Regulus, anger in his eyes, breaking up his otherwise neutral mask of his expression, as he tries to slink off around the corner, and she watches as Lilys arm snatches out, grabbing his, they lock eyes before Pandora is being hauled off again and up to the headmasters office.
On the way up, she keeps feeling Barty nudging her in the side as they walk behind James and Sirius, he keeps trying to get her attention, to question her, but she simply turns to him and tells him to wait.
And he does, and in that moment she is grateful of the trust between them as she turns her eyes back to the two boys in front of them, looking at them curiously, wondering what’s going to happen next.
She knows the plan, she all but gave it to them, but what are they going to do with it now?
When they finally get to the headmaster office he appears to have regained his composure, as he conjures up three additional chairs to the one already waiting and offers them all to take a seat.
Pandora does so gently, taking the furthest one from his desk.
Barty, looking towards her as if for agreement, watches her take a seat before taking the one right next to her.
She then turns her head to James and Sirius expectantly, in unfortunate tandem with Dumbledore, waiting for them to sit, when neither of the do, he coughs lightly before continuing.
“Well, that was a bit of a commotion wasn’t it.” He chuckles softly, and when none of them respond he attempts to continue again.
“Now I am not one to tell someone how to think or how to act,” he begins again, eliciting a scoff from both Barty and Sirius who turn to look each other before rolling their eyes and looking away again, back to the headmaster behind the desk, “however,” he continued adding emphasis to his turning point, “I urge you to think about the paths you are taking, the morality of your actions.”
“I think our actions are perfectly moral Headmaster.” James cuts in, before turning to Sirius, “Don’t you agree?”
“Definitely, at least our actions are more moral than yours Albus.”
“Now now, don’t forget your manner boys.” Dumbledore tries a gentle coding, but by the tone of the room it’s fallen flat, and Pandora knows his frustration is only growing at his loss of child soldiers.
“Is that all you have to speak to us about?” Sirius cuts in again.
“Yes, but I would say its’s quite a big thing at hand.”
“Not the fight that just started in the hall? You are not concerned about your students safety but rather ensuring you have child soldiers?”
“Well that is the truth either way is it not?” James continues, “If he doesn’t care about the fight, then he doesn’t care of our safety, if he recruits child soldiers he doesn’t care about our safety. Altogether, he just doesn’t seem to care about our safety.”
“Right you are Prongs.”
“War isn’t safe boys, there are certain necessary risks.”
“Yeah, but you made sure it was that way didn’t you?”
“Now-“
But it’s Barty who cuts the headmaster off this time, “No, they’re right. You keep saying you want to end this war, but you seem to be raising both sides of it. You raise the Slytherins to be death eaters, Gryffindors to be soldiers, and Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws to be anything in between. If you didn’t want this war you would stop it at its beginning, with the 11yr olds, with the families, you would protect the students that need it-“
“The students are protected-“
“not at home, not from abuse and prejudice being drilled in, and you let it happen, and then wonder why so many people join the death eaters, as if you didn’t set it all up, as if you didn’t allow it to happen. As if my friends aren’t at risk because of fucking you.” at the last point Barty abruptly stands up, knocking his chair back as he plants both hands on Dumbledores desk to stare him in the eyes as he yells.
“Mr Crouch.”
“I said, don’t fucking call me that.” Barty all but spits.
“Very well, if you would like to leave, I think we have conversed enough for today.”
“Why?” and its Pandora again this time, “giving up on the Slytherin before everyone else again?”
“If Mr Crouch does not want-“
“Barty.” Barty all but spits.
“-my help, then I shall not force it on him.”
“But you shall force it on James and Sirius?” she asks, her voice soft, her eyes sharp.
“I do not believe that they have genuine intentions of joining Voldemort.”
“Oh yeah, try me.” Sirius spits out back again.
“Very well, I will not force my help where it is not wanted, if any of you change your minds-“
“We won’t.” Sirius speaks for all of them as they quickly filter out of the room, and she finds none of them disagreeing.