JAMES- Sunday 18th June 1978
James Pov- Sunday 18th June 1978.
When James wakes early in the morning, his head is pounding.
It’s slightly confusing for him, he tends to handle hangovers well enough, usually the most calm the morning after.
But this morning his head is aching bad, he sneaks over to Sirius’ bed, sneaking one of his last hangover cures from his bedside table and downing it, before routing another one out of his trunk at the end of his bed and placing it on his bedside table for when Sirius wakes up sometime later in the day- always the mother hen.
He walks back over to his bed, before collapsing back onto it, proceeding to cringe at the squeak from the mattress and the slight shake of the bedframe, worried about waking his friends.
But they’re all still dead to the world, so he shuffles his back up the bed, leans against the headboard and sighs, he takes in the room around him before reaching to his bedside table to grab his wand, and nudging the map as he goes.
He grabs them both before pulling them onto his lap and casting a tempus charm with his wand.
7am.
The great hall will have just opened for breakfast, and his stomach growls at him in anticipation, eager to get food, to absorb the left over alcohol lingering in his system.
He looks back at the beds around him, trying to decide whether to wait for his friends before going down.
Sirius will be taking part in his usual hangover routine if the empty wrappers surrounding his bed are anything to go by, he won’t be mentally available until well into the afternoon, possibly the evening based on how bad his drinking was going last night.
James cringes slightly at the thought, the mere sight of his brother had made Sirius spiral, losing control quick, falling into a full-fledged panic attack, and James being equally drunk, and also left reeling from Regulus’ appearance, was hopeless to help.
He feels guilty for it now, but as he looks over at Sirius’ bed and sees his best friend wrapped around a partly invisible Remus, he tries to remind himself that Sirius has other people.
He has Remus- he has the most adorable relationship that James had been routing for since 3rd year.
Rooting for more than them at the beginning probably.
He is sometimes still convinced that he was more excited at the announcement of them finally being together than either of them were, squealing with Sirius, mentally planning his best man speech for the wedding.
He loved it.
Looking at them now, he is so happy they found each other, both as friends and as boyfriends, he is happy Sirius has someone else who can bring him back from the brink, even if James selfishly wishes it could always be him.
He likes being needed, wanted, useful.
As selfish as it sounds, he sometimes wishes he was the best for everyone in the world, that he could help anyone and everyone, and that he would always be the best, most useful person for the job.
He knows it isn’t practical, and everyone has different needs, but he wants it, he craves it, that feeling of necessity.
He wants to be that for everyone, but he can still see past it, forces himself to see past it, to appreciate Sirius having Remus, Remus having Sirius, because he always wants to help them both, and he is glad they can help each other.
But he isn’t going to move Remus now, Sirius wont wake up- and Peter is hard to wake.
He figures he can head down now, eat something, then bring back up some pastries, some coffee, some food.
He can be useful,
He smiles.
Useful.
He grabs the map up and off his lap, some niggling part at the back of his brain urging him to check it, maybe he has some subconscious knowledge of someone in the halls he wants to avoid, and his mind is letting him know to check.
It’s happened before, he laughs at the thought, the memory of Sirius suggesting that he is not just a wizard but a superhero, like in those muggle comics Remus had told them both about.
“I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.” He whispers, pointing his wand carefully at the centre of the parchment.
The ink flows though the page, spreading across the map as he unfolds it carefully, breathing life into the paper as he stares down at it intently, his eyes immediately moving towards the corner of the parchment.
The Slytherin dorms, more specifically Regulus’ dorms, because apparently that is now a subconscious effort to find, a subconscious knowledge he possesses.
And he quickly realises, the niggling feeling in the back of his brain wasn’t avoiding someone he doesn’t like, it was searching for Regulus.
He goes to quickly fold the parchment up and put it away, mentally berating himself, feeling creepy at seeking the other boy out, a boy he wasn’t friends with, a boy who’s friend potential flew out the window after the easter holidays, before he realises.
Regulus isn’t in bed.
He had cast a tempus charm, 7am.
He had checked the map around an hour ago at 6am, Reg hadn’t been in bed then either.
His eyes flick, consciously this time, towards the girls bathroom on the second floor, no longer as worried about being creepy as nothing but confusion and something else fill his mind.
Regulus is still there.
Pandora is still there.
He hasn’t gone to bed? He was at the Party, that broke up around 4am, and he was at the toilets with Pandora at 6?
They are still there now.
Before he knows what he is doing, he is climbing out of bed and shoving on his shoes, he doesn’t bother getting dressed but he does shove a jumper over his head, content to wander the halls in his pyjama bottoms in the meantime.
Yes, he doesn’t really care if anyone sees him in his pyjamas roaming the halls, he and Sirius have been in much more embarrassing predicaments in there 7 years at school here.
But really, he knows no one is going to be there, he isn’t going to run into anyone anyway.
He knows about the Ravenclaw towers and the Gryffindor one, both their nearest exits to the great hall not going past that end of the second floor, and the Hufflepuffs and Slytherins are below the great hall.
Its Sunday, most people will be making their way to eat, or in bed.
He isn’t worries about being seen, but, for some strange reason, a feeling of unease enters his gut at the idea of Regulus and Pandora seemingly not having left the same spot in an hour, not having been to bed, not moving to the great hall.
They’re stuck, just stuck.
And James’ curiosity gets the best of him.
And with no reason to have it, he won’t admit it, but the fear is getting the best of him too.
About 10 minutes later, he is rounding the corner to the bathroom, beginning to reconsider his little trip to check in on Pandora and Regulus, when he hears sobs coming from the bathroom.
The sobs are rapid and far between, heaving breaths so loud coming in between them that it is clear the person is hyperventilating.
He speeds up quickly, it sounds like Pandora, but he can’t be sure, when he realises there is no voice with her, no comforting noise- he checks down at the map which he still has open,
Regulus is still with her, so why is he doing nothing, why is he saying nothing?
James speeds up again, not much further to the bathroom, but far enough that his mind can begin to spiral quickly, quickly, quicker.
The Slytherins may act like emotionless little gremlins half the time, but it is unquestionable that they love Pandora, they wouldn’t let her break down, they would comfort her, they would- why isn’t Regulus comforting her, he is in the room.
He hardly stops as he swings his body around to push at the door to the bathroom, barrelling into the wall as he goes, his awareness of space failing him with his harsh movements being on the floor instead of the broom, his breathing spiralling him further as it speeds to match up to the noise through the door.
He freezes.
Pandora is kneeling on the floor over a body.
A still body lying on the floor.
A body with familiar black curls, with a pale face, with a sharp yet soft jawline.
Regulus.
“No-“ he lets out in nothing more than a breath, but Pandora manages to hear it, he doesn’t know how she can, over her own stuttering sobs or his own heartbeat which he is sure is beating against his ribs hard enough for the whole room to hear.
He manages to pull his eyes away from Regulus for a moment to look to Pandora, a glare on her face quickly being replaced by, relief? Hope?
“James,” she lets out barely more than a whisper, “James!” she insists harsher this time, she reaches her arm out as if to grab him before gasping and dropping it quickly back down to Regulus’ arm.
"Help now!” she yells at him again, her eyes beginning to fill with tears again, even though she had hardly stopped crying at all, before quickly turning to face Regulus again.
He freezes.
“Now James.” She yells again, not an ounce of patience in her tone like their always is, instead there is just desperation bordering on anger.
He forces his legs to start moving again as he takes 5 quick strides into the room before dropping to his knees on the other side of Regulus talking in everything as he does,
“What happened?” he starts, before looking down to finally take Regulus in unobscured, his breath catches- but not in the way he did last night- no, he is scared.
His chin is bleeding slightly, a bruise creeping onto his skin slowly, but that’s the least worrying thing.
His knee is visible through ripped trousers, a bone sticking out and blood pouring over the side of it.
There is a pool of blood around his middle too, that seems to be collecting more blood by the second from his arm which Pandora is desperately pressing down against, trying to stem the blood flow.
But no matter how much this worries James, no matter how sick he feels, it is nothing compared to the noticeable stillness of Regulus’ body.
He is not moving in the slightest, his body almost frozen in motion.
His body completely straight except for his head which is tilted up slightly, a look of fear seemingly permanently etched onto his features.
But his eyes, his eyes are open, and he isn’t moving, so he isn’t passed out.
“What happened?!” he demands again his voice rising a pitch in fear when Pandora doesn’t immediately answer the first question he asked.
“I don’t know-“ she starts, but he doesn’t believe her, but he will care about that later- for now he just needs to know enough to help.
“We need to get him to Pomphrey-“ he starts, going to get up and pulling out his wand to work on levitating the terrifyingly still body in front of him when Pandora yells out,
“No!” her anger seemingly coming back slightly at the mere idea, and James doesn’t want to yell but he can feel his temper rising too.
“What?” he demands, his voice sharp, “were you just going to leave him here to die, to bleed out, all so no one asks questions?” he asks, all because he can figure out exactly why she has the level of reluctance she does, “and why isn’t he moving?” his voice breaks at the end.
“I couldn’t get him to Pomphrey,” she pleads, the anger dissipating again most likely due to the fear she is feeling probably miles more than James, “I can hardly move him- I can’t let go of his arm without him bleeding out, he must have struck an artery or something when I was-“ she cuts herself off, “ I can’t let go off his arm, so I can’t levitate him.”
“Well why not fix him then,” he demands dropping back to his knees and aiming his wand back at Regulus’ body to start to stop the worrying level of blood flow seeping out of him, “where’s your wand?” he asks again, briefly looking up to lock eyes with Pandora to give a questioning glance, before quickly focusing down on Regulus again, he hasn’t moved an inch, even as he bleeds out, even as they fix him.
It's somehow scarier than anything.
“I broke my wand, I couldn’t use his, I wasn’t going to risk casting a complex spell on him for something this delicate when it’s not even a wand that is meant to respond to me!” she argues back, “I couldn’t risk it!”
“What like this isn’t risky enough?” he argues back, but his voice is devoid of any anger, he is no longer mad, he is just scared, pure fear and adrenaline coursing through him as he continues to wave his wand over the other boys body until the blood flow is properly stemmed.
“I didn’t know what to do.” Her voice breaks on the last word, and he immediately looks up, knowing pity is in his gaze.
“It’s ok, we can fix it,” he looks back down at the body still laid out worryingly still in front of him, it’s frighteningly pale, “we need to get him blood replenishing potions.” He goes to stand up again and rush of to Pomphrey’s office, but as he moves Pandora quickly reaches into the robes Regulus is still wearing, she pulls out a couple of potions, looking through their labels, before selecting two of the same colouring and gentling forcing them down Regulus’ throat.
“Ok, ok-“ she pauses, reaching down gently and cupping Regulus’ face as more tears fall down her face, swiping her thumb back and forth across his cheek, smearing blood but not seeming to care, “he’s going to be ok.” She whispers- almost as if to herself, almost as if to assure herself.
She looks back up at him, “thank you for helping James, thank you.”
He smiles a strained smile back at her, glad she seems to think he has helped, but still confused by the overall situation, “he’s still not moving.” He states, pointing out the obvious as he slowly crouches back down next to Regulus yet again.
“e won’t for a bit, but he’ll be fine, I’ve got it from here.” she smiles up at him, her normal reassuring smile nearly back on her face but not quite reaching her eyes as she finally removes her hands from his cheeks, choosing to press her fingers to the inside of his wrist, checking his pulse point, almost as if she needs it to soothe her, ground her- James is sure that’s how’s she feels as it’s how he feels as he follows the motion towards Regulus’ other wrist,
“You still can’t carry him,” James points out, “ your wands broke and you can’t lift him, I’ll help get him to Pomphrey.”
Pandora lets out a disappointed sigh, “I suppose, but not Pomphrey.”
“But-“ James starts, immediately going to object, his fear for this boy in front of him taking over.
“No buts,” she pauses, looking up at him in pity, as if he is the one in need of it, she is the one with a cut on her head, hair bled red, Reg is the one on the floor, looking almost dead before they got the blood replenishing potions in his system, “ Reg would kill me, us, he would kill you and hate me,” she smiles slightly to herself, as if despite the dire situation they both only just managed to get out of, the thought of her best friend, even threatening her, seems comforting.
James is confused but smiles at the thought, he kind of understands, he wishes Reg would threaten him right now, just because it would mean he was awake.
“Look-“ Pandora starts looking up at him again, a calm expression with threatening eyes, as if readying herself for a fight he is sure she could easily win, even with tear tracks down her face undermining her anger, he thinks if someone like Pandora got angry, everyone would shut up and listen, kind of like what his friends say would happen if he got angry. “ I know you’re worried, I know this must have been hard to watch, but please trust me, I won’t leave his side till he wakes up, and even then I’ll bug him till he’s back to his usual Reg self and threatening to curse me if I don’t leave him alone.” She laughs slightly again, at the supposed familiarity she has grown to have towards fake threats.
“Fine,” James obliges, just wanting to get him out of here. He pulls the jumper he added over his pyjamas up and over his head, when Pandora frowns at him he speaks again, “he’s covered in blood, I know he’s completely gone to the world but I want him just a bit more comfortable.”
He places it to the side, gently draped over the nearest sink so it won’t get wet or covered by dirt or blood from the floor and reaches for Regs shirt, before visibly hesitating.
“We shouldn’t leave him in drying blood-“ he starts, “but I don’t want him to be uncomfortable when he wakes up.”
Because it’s when it’s when it’s when, it can be if, he won’t let it be if, he can’t handle if.
“He always wears a vest under his shirts,” Pandora offers, “ it won’t go over his arm, so it won’t be covered by blood as much as his shirt , maybe a bit on his side, you can take his shirt off and put the jumper over the vest.”
So they do just that, both gently moving him as if scared he will break again, despite the other boy having a vest on, James still averts is gaze to the best of his ability, simply holding Regulus in position as Pandora drags his discarded jumper over his head.
He then reaches his fingers slightly under the neck of the jumper, pulling the strap of each side of the vest one by one out and sending a cutting charm at it, before gently lifting the now removable vest up and over Regulus’ head from under the jumper in order to remove the last item of clothing from his upper body that had blood sticking it to his skin under his body.
He lifts the jumper slightly, and pointing his wand at Regulus’ waist slightly, diverting his gaze as much as he can when trying to successfully cast a spell, he sends a quick scourgify at his skin to get rid of the rest of the blood that must have still be sticking to his skin.
Pandora sends a quick nod at him, after checking his stomach carefully and he breathes out a sigh of relief, as if that was the most stressful part of this morning, he nearly rolls his eyes at his stupidness.
“Come on let’s get him out of here, do we need to find one of his friends to let us into the Slytherin dorms?” he asks Pandora, knowing she is a Ravenclaw and he a Gryffindor will make it hard to get in the Slytherin dorms with the only Slytherin between them being very much unconscious.
“No, have you heard of the room of requirement?” she asks him, a slight grin on his face that he would argue seems mischievous if he didn’t know any better, there’s no way Pandora is like that, after all she’s like the kindest in the whole school.
Nonetheless, he casts his eyes around the bathroom, eyeing the mess of blood he has yet to clean up with his wand, he never thought he would find Pandora in such a situation, maybe he doesn’t know her at all.
They finally make their way into the room of requirements after a few narrow misses on the staircase up.
Its only 7:45, so he knows most of the school is still asleep or eating like they should be, and he did check the map as discreetly as he could before moving Regulus’ still unconscious body up all the stairs, but as his life didn’t appear to be in imminent danger- or at least he assumed it wasn’t- Pandora seemed pretty certain that the unconscious stiff unmoving body factor in this all was completely normal- he didn’t want to give away his secret of the map.
They finally get to the room of requirement, and it has seemingly made a warmed up version hospital suite.
There is a hospital bed in the corner of the room, next to a cabinet filled with blood replenishing potions, pain potions and more.
The other side of the room, seems to have a little divider as well as a cauldron, and a potions cupboard with a few select spell books placed on the highest self- the divider seemingly trying to keep any smoke or smell from the potion away from whatever patient its expecting in the bed.
Theres also a little fireplace and a couch, and the walls are all painted a deep green colour, with little silver furnishings instead of the bright sterile like white of the hospital room- making it look like the room is trying to keep Regulus as comfortable as possible.
He wonders who it got the wish from- him, Pandora, or somehow an unconscious Regulus, can the room even listen to unconscious people?
He settles Regulus gently in the bed with Pandoras help, before pulling the duvet up to cover him.
He lifts the side of the duvet up again, and carefully sends a cutting spell along the side of Regulus trousers, gently placing his hand on the other boys hip so that the fabric doesn’t split apart to reveal his leg until he has dropped the duvet back down, he repeats this on the other side, before reaching under the duvet at the part of the bed by his ankles, he grabs at the two separated bits of trouser material, before pulling them out from under the cover of the duvet and vanishing them with his wand.
He sends another gentle scorgify under the blanket at his legs, not looking this time and hoping it hits its target.
The process of cleaning him up and removing his clothes is all a much more complicated process than it could have been, but James is completely set on respecting Regulus, respecting anyone, as best as he can.
Though admittedly it would have been easier if Sirius was here, he could have-
Sirius.
“Sirius-“ he repeats, this time out loud, he needs to let him know, his baby brother, but Pandora is reaching out and placing a hand on his arm before he can move any further away.
Wait.”
“No- I need to-“
“You don’t need to do anything James, you need to leave and forget this happened, he’s safe now, and I appreciate everything you have done to help, but I have this from here.”
“ow do you have this?” he asks, incredulity littering his expression, “He’s not even awake!”
And it hits him, they’re shut away now, no one can walk in.
He can interrogate.
“What happened Pandora?”
She turns away, heading back over to the potions corner, before grabbing one of the books at the top shelf, she goes to turn away before turning back and grabbing the other two- walking back over to the couch and settling down.
She places two of them to her side, before opening the other one, quill and parchment appearing on the coffee table, he is sure she probably requested.
“Pandora!” he exclaims again when she still doesn’t respond, walking around the table and couch to stand in front of her, looking down, “What happened to him? What happened to you?”
“Nothing James,” she looks up briefly, before dropping her eyes back to her book, “don’t worry about it, just go get some breakfast.”
“You think I can eat- after that?” he scoffs disbelieving, his voice breaking slightly as he turns around running his hands through his hair pulling at it, “after I saw him like that?” he asks, tears starting to pool in his eyes, his adrenaline wearing off, his body seemingly giving up on him, “ I keep seeing him, lying there pale, dead-“
“He’s not dead!” Pandora snaps out, snapping her book shut and shoving it behind a pillow before he can see it, glaring at him all the while.
“He is – not – dead. “ she pauses between the words emphasising them, “he is here, he is alive and it is going to stay that-“
“But it didn’t look that way did it?” he questions black, glaring at her in equal measure but not raising his voice, his body is shutting down he is tired, but he is scared.
He wants nothing more than to lie down in bed and forget, he wants Sirius.
But he wants answers, he can’t rest, tired or not, his mind won’t stop whirring, it’s a foggy blur from exhaustion and drinking and fright and the coming down of adrenaline, but he needs answers.
“He looked dead Pandora, and I don’t know why, and I can’t just go back to my life unless I know why. I’m just going to convince myself he is going to start bleeding out again, I’m going to convince myself he’s never going to wake up, I’m going to convince myself I’m going to lose him.”
“You aren’t even his friend.”
“He’s my best friends little brother! He is nearly my friend, he would be if he didn’t have such shitty parents,” because James is sure that is true- it has to be, “and he has been through so much shit in that house, he can’t die at the one place he is meant to be safe, he can’t die before he knows safety, before he has his brother back, before he knows what safety fucking feels like!”
He is breaking down crying, tears flooding his face, his knees buckle and he falls to the floor, so out of it he can hardly consider the fact he is breaking down over someone he never got to be close to.
But that’s part of the problem isn’t it?
He never got a chance- he should’ve had a chance, a chance to get close to this amazing boy, this boy who has spent his entire life being taught he is nothing, he should get a chance to see him, be with him, make him laugh, because he has made him laugh before and it was beautiful, he deserves to laugh again, James deserves to get him to laugh again.
And if he wakes up, James is not going to leave him, he is never going to leave this boy, this boy he knows, but doesn’t know enough because life decided no.
“He deserves to be ok, I need him to be ok and I keep seeing him bleeding out, I see him pale, and I turn around and the sight is shoved right back in my face but I can’t look away, and I imagine Sirius falling apart because his brother is dead and he didn’t even know he was dying, and I imagine myself not being able to comfort him, because all I will see every time I look at him is Regulus dying.”
Its silent for a minute, as James continues to break down.
“I’m scared too.” Pandora whispers, her face calm and searching his.
And he feels guilty, here he is this almost stranger breaking down about Regulus’ near death in the arms of his friend who is holding it together.
But for once in his life, his guilt isn’t going to stop him, he needs answers, he can’t breath, he needs answers.
“But you know what happened- you can’t know it won’t happen again, I cant.” And his voice breaks again as more tears stream down his face, silent this time as he focuses on Pandoras eyes, slowly pleading with her, begging her to understand.
“I can’t tell you what happened-“ she starts, and his heart breaks even further, but there is pity in her eyes and hope in his heart, “but- you can stay.” She whispers out hesitantly.
“What?”
“You can stay.” She states again, firmer this time, as if more certain in her decision, “I am assuring you, it won’t get to the way it was when you found us in the bathroom again, but if it makes you feel better you can stay, we both have lessons, we both have friends and food and sleep, we can make sure he always has someone here.”
“How long till he wakes up?”
“That’s what I’m checking just now- I think I know but I want to make sure I know the cure right, and then I’ll check the timeline based on the necessary ingredients current state, and then I’ll let you know.”
She pats the couch next to her, and he settles into it, pulling a Gryffindor kind of maroon blanket over and onto his lap, curling in on himself and trying to breathe.
He wakes up a bit later, no clue what time it is, too tired to focus, too tired to cast a tempus charm, as he snaps his gaze to Pandora.
Who isn’t there.
He gets up quickly and walks over to Regulus’ unconscious form, breathing slightly easier as he rests his hand on the pulse point and feels the steady beat of his heart in his hands.
His heart in his hands.
When he hears the door open and he snaps his head around to look at Pandora.
“Where were you?” he blurts out, immediately going to move forward until he feels his fingers slipping off of Regulus’ pulse point and he immediately comes to a stop, not ready to let go just yet.
“Researching, I needed to find out how long till the ingredients are ready.”
“And?” James asks quickly, dread and hope pooling in his stomach, having it out, fighting for dominance until Pandora utters her next words.
“ 1 week.”
“A week?” he asks hesitantly unsure if that is good or bad for the timescale she was originally thinking, “is that good?”
“Yeah its good, it is exactly the cure I thought and we could’ve been waiting 6 months if this happened at the wrong time in the year, a maximum of a month for the month of the year we’re in. But the ingredients will be accessible in a week, I just have to harvest them before Mrs Sprout to ensure we get them, or we will be waiting another month on top of the week we are already going to be waiting.”
“What’s the ingredient?”
“James-“ she starts, hesitantly, and he knows she is about to tell him to back down again, that its private.
“What happened?” he goes for instead, which just makes her swivel on the spot and pace backwards slightly to the door, before turning back around again, book still in hand,
“You know I can’t tell you that.” She mutters.
“Fine.”
“Fine?” she replies arching an eyebrow, clearly she has seen James and his persistent personality a few years ago towards Lily, she probably doesn’t trust the fact that he is willing to drop something so much more extreme so much easier.
She is right to doubt, he won’t drop it.
But she doesn’t need to know that, he just needs any answers he can get right now, he needs to ask a bigger question to get an answer to the smaller one.
“Yes fine, can you” he sighs, looking down, looking worried not curious not suspicious, it isn’t hard, he is worried, he is terrified, he wasn’t lying earlier when he said the image wouldn’t leave his head, but he needs to look completely none threatening to get the secret right now, “can you- at least tell me what you need to harvest, I just want to help, you said I can be in the room throughout the week, and I have a lot of experience sneaking around, and two people knowing are better than one, make sure we’re not too late, make sure we get them, make sure-“
“James,” she cuts of his rambling quickly, “I’ll tell you ok? But only because I don’t need to run any risks with his life, I am only doing this for him, do you understand me?”
She levels him with a rather unsettling stare, one he can’t help but think he never would have imagined on her face, it feels so un- pandora like, but he nods none the less, he is learning not to under estimate Pandora today, he is also learning he doesn’t ever think he will understand her.
“Ok, next Sunday night, the mandrakes will be fully grown, we need to harvest their leaves, I would prefer to just steal a plant and keep it in here for an insurance policy, but their screams are deadly now, and even if we muffle it, I don’t want to risk Reg in the state he is in,” she pauses looking over at her friend, still lying cold on the table, James’ fingers still pressed firmly to his wrist, “Sprout will harvest them the next morning at 6am, she always does it immediately the first day they’re ready, I used to help her in younger years, so we need to get them before then.”
“Ok, I can handle it.”
Pandora pauses to look at him again, seemingly judging how much she can trust him yet again before she lets out a sigh, “Ok, you go back to your dorm now,” before he can even open his mouth to protest again she cuts in, “I will stay here with him, in shifts, he’ll never be alone, but you need to keep your friends from finding out what you’re up to. Come back up after dinner for a bit and I can stay the night, and then we’ll switch out tomorrow morning, yeah?”
“Yeah ok,” he admits in defeat because he doesn’t want his friends to worry and bring attention to the situation he has found himself in, “I need to tell Sirius what’s happened anyw-“
Before he can even finish his sentence, Pandora is on him, wand to his throat, eyes glaring again, as harsh as when he first walked into the bathroom to find her clothes being soaked in Regulus’ blood.
“Don’t- you- dare.” She spits out, eyes never straying from his, wand pushing in deeper with every word till he feels he’s going to have a bruise, “this is Regulus’ business not Sirius’, you’re only involved because I needed you to keep him alive, he is alive now and you will not be risking his safety.”
“How is telling Sirius risking his safety?” he demands, but calmer now, “Sirius would die for him.”
That’s exactly the problem.” She mutters.
“What?” he frowns at that, how is Sirius dying for Reggie a risk to his safety? It’s a risk to his mental wellbeing maybe, but that isn’t safety per say, that isn’t what Pandora seems to be implying.
“Tt doesn’t matter just-“ she pauses, seemingly sizing him up, before a slight smile forms on the corner of her mouth, barely there, but she’s standing so close he can see it nonetheless, “Reg isn’t awake right now, it’s not fair to go around talking about him when he can’t defend himself or talk back, it’s not fair to do anything till he’s awake James, till he wakes up.”
“He wouldn’t need to defend himself?” James states, not sure whether he’s saying it as an observation or a question, “Does he?”
“He shouldn’t have to, but you of all people should know what the brothers are like, at least let Reg prep himself, he doesn’t even know what’s going on, and Sirius will just stress out, call him in when you talk to Regulus, call him in when Regulus is awake.”
He can’t help but think that if he talks to Regulus, that entire plan won’t happen, Sirius will never know, and James will remain in the dark, but Pandoras right, he doesn’t want to talk about someone who isn’t even conscious behind his back, he doesn’t want to stress Sirius out, he would feel bad- feel guilty.
“Ok.”
“Ok?” Pandora questions, clearly hesitant to believe something so important to her.
“Ok, yeah I’ll wait,” he starts walking to the corner of the room, reluctantly letting go of Regulus’ arm in the process after giving it a quick squeeze, as if reassuring himself of its warmth and existence again, “I’ll see you after dinner- 9ish?”
He turns just as he grabs at the doorhandle to see her nodding her head.
“Bye James.”
And he leaves the room, and just as he’s walking down the hall he realises, maybe she meant to make him feel him guilty, maybe he’s easy to read, and she knew how to shut him up, at least until Regulus wakes up.
He is sure once he does, the other boy will have plenty of ways to shut him up too, much more effectively than playing on his guilt, even if that is a hard thing to top.
She’s stalling him, until Regulus can choose what to do.
The next morning after he has reassured all his friends that nothing was wrong in regards to his absence the previous day, he begins to fake sick, he excuses himself from his friends and lessons saying he still feels bad and is going to skip lessons that day.
He keeps the map, grabs his cloak and makes his way up to the room or requirement, having agreed with Pandora last night that while she got an approved leave from the school to go to Diagon alley and get a new wand, he would skip lessons for the day and take over Regulus watch and she would trade back over after dinner.
He spells his curtains shut before leaving his dorm, glad that he has always been rather quiet when sick, meaning his friends shouldn’t question him hiding away if they don’t see him until after dinner tonight.
And he sneaks up to the room of requirement.
The second he gets there, Pandora slips out of the door, clearly late to meet whatever professor has organised her flew trip to Diagon alley but refusing to leave Regulus alone until James is there.
He appreciates that, both of them are refusing to leave him alone.
She throws a quick threat over her shoulder as she runs off, telling him to keep Regulus safe, or else.
James would laugh, he starts to, and then the door swings shut and his eyes settle on the body across from him again.
Still, curly black hair, sharp yet soft cheekbones.
No scowl, he just wants him to scowl, to bite with his words, to go back to before easter and unwillingly laugh at James’ joke, to share a soft smile in class.
He just wants Regulus back, he doesn’t care in what form- he just wants him back.
He walks over to Regulus and places his fingers on the other boys pulse point yet again, he fears it may become a habit over the course of the rest of the week.
Longer if they-
No not longer, a week.
It will be a week, nothing will stop him getting those leaves.
He waves his wand quickly moving the couch over and next to the hospital bed, lifting it off the floor so it doesn’t drag and make lots of noise.
Regulus would hate that.
Regulus isn’t awake.
He would hate it.
James sighs and settles into the armchair, his hand cupped around Regulus’ wrist, he worries it would make the other boy uncomfortable, but he can’t bring himself to stop.
When he came by last night, Pandora had left, just for 2 of the 3 hours- but the second she was out of the room, the second he didn’t have a distraction his heart rate started speeding up, his breathing quickened, and it didn’t slow down until his hand was on the other boys wrist again.
So he has refrained from letting go whenever he’s alone.
Regulus doesn’t know, if he doesn’t like it he can damn well wake up and tell him.
Please wake up and tell me, he can’t help but think to himself.
So he settles in on the couch, wraps his hand around the other boys wrist and spells the books he bought with him to levitate in the air in front of them, flicking his wrist to turn the page so he can read without ever letting go.
He had grabbed the books from the library yesterday after he first left Pandora and Regulus, before Sirius had crowded him again for the rest of the day, and he couldn’t do any more research.
Well he couldn’t research in front of Sirius anyway- he said he told Pandora he wouldn’t tell Sirius what happened, and the books are a big fucking hint to something going on- and that something would lead to a slew of questions from Sirius until he gets an answer he’s satisfied with.
Its one of the only times he wishes he had boundaries with the other boy.#
He flicks through the titles.
Cures to magical predicaments.
Magical creatures and where to find them.
The dangers of messing with magic.
All books that the library revealed to him, when he queried cures with mandrake leaves, and petrification because that’s what this looks like, despite Pandora refusing to confirm anything other than needing the mandrake leaves for a cure, it is very clear Regulus is in some way petrified, but it is so much worse than a normal petrfifcus totalus spell.
And if Pandora won’t tell him what happened, fine.
James can research, he had 13 and a half hours till she’s back.
7 days till Regulus is back.
He can read.
It’s an hour later when he finally finds something, his stomach has been growing at him but he hasn’t been able to stomach eating since this happened.
Sat here in this room, struggling to avert his gaze from the boy next to him, he has been refusing to eat until he finds something, anything.
And he thinks he has certainly found something.
Basilisks.
A Basilisk is a serpent that was first documented thousands of years ago, as they are currently believed to be extinct, it has made it unclear what their suggested life span may be, having most of the animals being killed off by Wizards and Witches alike.
However, based on the limited information accessible, their life span appeared to be indefinite, their extinction being a result of wizard interferal.
The Basilisk is best known for its deadly gaze, with anyone who lock eyes with the creature immediately dying. It’s gaze can only avoid being fatale when there is some form of a barricade in between the wizard or witch looking and the Basilisk, such barricades can come in the form of water, or some form of glass.
When looking into the Basilisks eyes indirectly the results will no longer be fatal, but are still drastic, a person will be reduced to a petrified state, until a cure can be made with fully ready mandrake leaves stewed in a potion.
For this reason, there are very few documented cas-
But James stops reading.
A fucking Basilisk?!
Where the fighting a fucking Basilisk, how did they find a Basilisk in Hogwarts.
It can’t be true, it can’t be true.
Except it can, Regulus is petrified, Pandora is talking about fully ready mandrake leaves, and Regulus’ eyes have been glassed over with water since yesterday.
James waves his wand over to check, and sure as he thought the water disappears, clearly not a part of the petrification then.
Clearly a spell.
A spell designed for this specific purpose?
Did Reg fucking plan this?
He stand up abruptly, knocking the book out of the air as his heart starts to race at the idea that Regulus could have willing gone to meet such a deadly monster.
A monster that brings death to all those who fucking look at it.
What the fuck?!!
He starts hyperventilating, and it takes him a minute to realise, it’s not just because of the idea that Regulus could’ve done something so ridiculously dangerous, so careless, with seemingly no regard for his life.
That Pandora seemed to be in on, that she just let him do and is now fucking defending.
No he is hyperventilating because he has let go of Regulus’ wrist, again.
He grabs it tight, staring as the pulse bounces visibly from how hard he is holding it.
He quickly lessens his grip, scared to hurt him, and drops to the floor on his knees, sobbing as he holds onto Regulus’ hand now with both of his, tears filling his eyes.
What the fuck has he gotten himself into.
“What have you done Reg?” James asks, his eyes squeezing shut, the nickname just slipping out.
Throughout the weeks, he continues to visit multiple times, until it is essentially a 50/50 split between Pandora keeping Reg company and James.
Sometimes with their visiting hours overlapping when one is too scared to leave him just yet.
James still hasn’t managed to drop Regulus’ wrist when alone without spiralling into a panic attack.
And James hasn’t bought up what he found out yet, unsure whether to confront them both when Reg is awake, or go for the easier target.
Though he is not sure if Pandora would be the easier target, he has learnt throughout this week that he really doesn’t know her at all, he even knows Regulus a little less than he thought.
So he is still debating when to bring it up, because he has to, he knows that he has to.
And he still hasn’t told Sirius what’s going on, even when he questioned his brothers disappearance at the breakfast table, even when he demanded the map to check.
And the guilt is eating him alive.
So much so that it got to a point of Sirius’ stress, where, not only to protect Regs secret, but also to alleviate James guilt to the best of their abilities given the situation, they had staged Pandora walking past Sirius, so he could ask her about Regulus- her being the only one of his friends that would actually talk to him, just so Pandora could assure him that Regulus wasn’t feeling well, but that’s she’s been bringing him snacks and checking in.
It helped mostly, but it was still leaving it to James to hide the map to the best of his ability, and spew out lies about why Reg isn’t on it the times he can’t keep the map from Sirius.
It’s been a shit week.
But it all looks up after dinner Sunday night.
An owl flies into his dorm room as he opens the window and drops a simple note into his hand before flying off.
Any time after 12 tonight, they’re ready.
-P