Back to Black

February 9th, 1976

James Potter is not a mystery. 

He is simple, but not in a stupid way. He is easy. 

And, he is kind. 

Scorpia’s first class - as a teacher! - went well. Some people were late, and she gave them the opportunity to be so, on their first day after their February term holiday, but only once. The subject wasn’t hard at all, and 5-years are all smart kids. At the end of the day, she hadn’t studied Dark Arts for 8 years for nothing, had she? 

Most of her class she's been watching Sirius. Not really his subject work, but the interactions with his friends. Yes, Minerva told her about James Potter, Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew. But with all due respect, Minerva wouldn’t see what Scorpi would. And, well. Peter is an honest kid, he’s kind and sweet. Something is off about him, though. It looked like Sirius sensed it too, and was now friends with him just out of habit. She would have to look into it. Remus Lupin was an interesting person. He was the type that was most exciting to watch. He would tell you almost all of his emotions with his body language, but oh, were those emotions hard! And, Sirius was especially… touchy around him. And clumsy. And… Huh? Sirius… Oh wow. Are they secretly dating, or is it just a crush, for how long was it going on, had they.. have they kissed?! Oh for God’s sake, stop freaking out, he’s your brother, not your son! So what if he has a crush?

She might confront him later. Or, she might wait for an embarrassing moment. Or for a cute one. No matter her psychology talent, Scorpi always loved some drama. Judging by her siblings, it was probably in their blood. 

And James Potter… He is easy. But he’s complicated. He looks simple, but there is definitely so much more to him. He studies well, he is the Quidditch captain, and there most definitely is something going on between him and Lily Evans. Him and Sirius… It wasn’t exactly jealousy she had felt, for jealousy is too childish. It was the fact that someone was so close to Sirius, and she didn’t even know them. Therefore, when the bell rang:

“Potter?” She called, waiting for the boy to stop at the door. Sirius stopped, too, (so did Remus)  and raised his eyebrows, looking at her. The other boy, on the contrary, frowned. Peter was shuffling in his bag, but stopped along with everyone, not really paying attention for the reason. “Would you stay for a while? I wanted to talk to you.” She finished, not looking at Sirius’ stare, but locking her eyes with James’. He was surprised, and even scared. Scared? What does he even think of me? Oh, right, I’m a Black, what would you have him think? 

“Uh, yeah, sure professor.” He smiled, most definitely at the “professor” part. She didn’t mind, it was quite funny to her, too. But, now that she could play around with someone so innocent, why not take the opportunity? So she furrowed her eyebrows, and slightly shook her head. “Only you. The rest of your lot can go. Follow me, I won’t take long”. She turned away and started to her little office. She could practically sense James and Sirius exchanging suspicious glances, before the first boy went after her. Allowing herself a tiny smile, the woman promised not to smile anymore until they’re alone. 

“Please, take a seat” She tried to put on her most McGonagall-like expression, which made the boy smile once again. “Now. Pretend I’m scary and I will torture you, just because it’s fun to see you scared.”, she pronounced without a change on her face, to make him confused, and sat down at her desk. 

It only took James a few seconds. “Hey! I’m not scared!” 

“Yes, yes.” She finally smiled, and then fell silent. The boy placed himself on the visitor chair in front of her, and looked around. She let him. Her office was a truly small space, but it was cozy. As cozy as she could make it in 2 days, of course. There was a desk with a horrible amount of shelves and drawers and counters and many many decorations. There was a globus hanging from the ceiling. The walls were covered in posters, mostly of dark creatures. She followed James’ gaze, that was now stuck to a werewolf, and… was he actually reading the description? Okay, noted. Maybe it’s what he likes. But his face… Is he scared? Is it something like a childhood trauma, so he is trying to… research it more? Her posters were written by her old teacher and brought here, so they could easily contain extra information. James finished reading, and quickly looked away. Turned to Scorpia, who seemed to be studying his face. She wasn’t going to talk here. Not for now. If you are silent for long enough, people will start telling you things just to fill the quiet space. 

However, James seemed okay with quiet. He was looking right back, and, oh, those eyes. He is an only child, he gets what he wants, but everything he wishes for is fair and reasonable. Well, maybe not exactly reasonable, but it's alway kind. He cares for people he loves, nothing ever broke him, and he is ready to fight for what he considers right. And something about him makes her think he would be so good at psychology. Oh, those brown eyes. 

“Tell me something” she smiled softly, and threw her head back on her chair, looking at the globe above the desk. The boy took some time. “About Sirius? Sure, uh, he’s…”

“No, no. I know Sirius” She lifted her head to look at him. “I don’t know you.”

“Oh.” He looked back, confused. “You want me to tell you something… about myself?” 

Silence. Basically, the silence is a yes itself. And he understood. Oh how good he would be, oh how good. 

“Um, I… Do you want the nice part of me?”

“I want the true part of you. I know you’re smarter than pouring out your insides to a Black, even though I promise you can trust me. I just want to listen and look at you, to be honest. That's all I need to figure you out myself.” Another “oh” from him.

“What do you mean by… figure me out?” He tilted his head a little, one eyebrow raised. 

“What do you have to do with werewolves?” She tried. She has the opportunity, so why not, really?

Now watching. Watching him closely. Scared. But not for himself, it's not the childhood-trauma-scared. It’s more of a… Oh-no-I-mucked-up-scared. But he didn’t do anything, did he? So is he scared that I noticed something? Confused. Yes, probably he doesn’t think he did anything, so he’s basically running the same question through his head right now, something like “How does she know how does she know how does she know?” Regret. Regret? About staying with me? About looking at the poster? About something else? Now, that’s complicated. Pleading? Why is he looking like he’s about to say…

“What do you know?” What. What does he mean.

“I know that you just felt scared then confused then regretful and then pleading once I asked you the question. So let me ask you again, what do you have to do with werewolves?”

“Is that why you called me?”

“That’s not the point, but the answer is no.”

“I still won’t answer that question.”

“Remus Lupin is a werewolf?” Scorpia smirked. Well, that was rude, yes. But that was so simple! It’s clearly not his secret, but it’s someone’s who’s important to him. Not his family, he’s too young, so the boys. Not Sirius, she would know, obviously. Peter Pettigrew? Is that why he seemed “off”? But no, because the other option is Remus Lupin. Which is obvious. It could also be Lily, but a) they’re not close enough to know such a secret and b) she’s not the one with the scars! And, oh really, how had she missed that?!

“How… How did you? Did Minn..McGonagall tell you? I didn’t know the professors knew…”. Anxious.

She still allowed for the possibility of a mistake, that maybe it was another important person to him, whom she did not know. So this answer still took her by surprise. “Oh mon Dieu. Mon frère est amoureux d'un loup.” Her hand went to her heart, unwillingly. 

“Sorry?” James asked, his eyes still darting around the room, clearly uncomfortable. Scorpi took a pause to do a quick analysis. Okay, Minerva knows, so it has been dealt with. He is safe. Is he, though? I’ll have to ask Sirius. Okay, so Sirius knows, surely, if James does. So does Peter, I assume. He thought the professors didn’t know. So they don’t. Is it only Minerva? Dumbledore must to, mustn't he? Not to talk to anyone about werewolves to not raise suspicion. Do not mention werewolves to Sirius unless it’s exactly what you want to talk about. Do mention it to Remus once, for I want to see his reaction. Oh, no, James will tell him that I know. So it won’t work. Should I ask James not to tell him that I know? Pour l'amour de Dieu, arrêtez d'être si compliqué! Right, yes. 

“Nothing, boy. You can now stop pretending that I’m scary and I will torture you. I want you to be my brother for a while here…-”

“I am, though.”

“Pardon?”

“I am. Your brother. I mean, in a way of speaking. Sirius is under my parents’ custody, so… I don’t know how it works, really, sorry.”

“Oh.” Ask him. Go on, ask him about it. He’s not Regulus, he’s not Sirius either. He’s your only chance. Well, other than Walburga, but you most definitely don’t want to talk to her. But is it okay? To ask him? Isn’t it too much pressure? The poor boy will blame himself for revealing his best friends’ deepest secret already. “James? Tell me about that day.” 

And oh, how glad she was that he understood. And then he understood why she asked. And then he needed a moment to collect his thoughts on what he should tell and what he shouldn’t. Then he remembered who he’s talking with, and exhaled, preparing himself. It was all so clear on his face, that she got the wish to teach him how to hide emotions. And then cursed herself for that. He’s not in an abusive family, he doesn’t need his life ruined, just let kids be happy.

“I… I don’t know everything myself, really. They… They wanted him to join you-know-whose side, and he refused, so they… um…” Hurt, hurt, hurt, hurt. Oh James, I know. I wouldn’t force you to say it out loud, but I want to know the details. I’m sorry, sorry, sorry. 

“Crucio?” 

“Yeah… I- I think they were trying to force him to agree, but… I guess you know Sirius well enough…” He fiddled with his bag, keeping his eyes down. 

“Trust me, I know him more than he knows himself. So he… How did he get to your house?”

“Oh. It was Christmas Eve, and we were in the living room eating mom's best pies… anyway, he… kind of collapsed on the floor out of our chimney… He was… He was unconscious at this point I think, but my mom took care of him and the next morning he woke up… asking “the hell, who died?” Oh. Sorry.” Sorry? Oh, the “hell” part. 

“Come on, he’s my teenage brother, I know he curses. It’s okay. The rest of it isn’t, but I’m really really grateful for your and your parents’ care. I think you know that all by yourself, but it’s impossible to describe how important you are to him. It was noticeable since that second letter he sent me in his first year…-“

“Wait, you got them?!” 

“Sorry?” Does he know about the letters? Sirius told him. But he didn’t know about me, did he? He behaved like he just found out Sirius has a sister, it was visible. Then how…

“Yeah. I’m sorry.” Apologies again. He really does feel anxious and guilty a lot, about other people's  business. Gosh, that boy can be so sweet. I like him. “He told me about… well about you and the letters, just a few days ago or so.”

Oh. Wow. 

“So my timing was good, hey?”

“Yeah…” He looked up and smiled, but then lowered his head again. “What is it?” Scorpi asked. Something was bugging him, clearly.

“How… How do you know? Everything you know? Okay that sounded weird but you know what I meant. Yeah, see, you know what I mean every time!”

“Hmm,” Scorpia leaned back in her chair, smiling, “that’s called psychology.” And she let that sink in for a few seconds before confessing, “and something makes me think you would be good at it.”

“It’s interesting,” He nodded. Something still bugged him, though. It wasn’t the werewolves, then he would tend to come back in the conversation. Wasn’t exactly Sirius, or not directly connected to Sirius. Was it her? If the first time she asked “what is it?” he replied “how do you know what you know?”, then it could be just a half of what was on his mind, right? Just the first part? And he was still fidgeting with his bag handles, so he wasn’t sure if he should say it. If it truly is about her, then he could be ashamed or embarrassed of the question. So…

“Yes, I’m a Legilimens.”

“WHAT!! HOW?!” 

She couldn’t keep her smile tucked in. She looked fondly at the freaking out boy sitting - now standing - in front of her. 

“Don’t you dare use it on me again, I swear! All you are the same! His mother…”

“James”

“Is it even legal to use in students? It’s a secret! It was his secret, no one is supposed to know!”

“James.” 

“You can’t, you can’t can’t can’t!!!”

“Potter! I am a Legilimens. And I would never, ever use it on a student. You are worried about Sirius, I know. I never used it on him and I promise I never will. You are worried about Remus, too. It’s okay, James. His secret is safe with me. I will not be talking about it even to Minerva, so you’re okay. Breathe out, please.”

The boy stared at her in shock for a few seconds, then fell back into his chair and exhaled.

“Thank you. Now, listen. This is called psychology. I could explain it, but I’m afraid I would only make you feel more guilty about everything that happened in this room. And I don’t want that, there is nothing you did wrong.”

“I want to know.” He said, continuing to look her in the eye. Then closed them and tilted his head back. “And how did you get Remus?”

“Okay. Sure.” The woman also leaned back in her seat, keeping both eyes on the boy. She wanted to watch his reactions. “So, when you came in. First, I was quiet to make you talk, that’s a popular trick people do, so the other person would start spilling their thoughts out just to fill the silence. You seemed okay with it, though, so I knew your self-esteem was okay. Then you looked around, and your eyes stopped on the werewolf poster for way too long, so I knew you were reading it. My first thoughts were a childhood trauma or just your hobby. But you looked way too stiff for it to be a hobby, so that thought was dismissed. Then I looked you in the eye properly… Well, this part is a little hard to explain, it’s something you get with practice. An only child, gets what he wants, but is always kind and fair, and all that.” He smiled, with his eyes still closed. Smiled… “Ha, that wasn’t a compliment, that was a fact, but okay. Anyway, when I asked the question, your face was priceless, I swear. Everything was so clear… Now, don’t think it’s a bad thing. I mean, if you were a Black - yes, you don’t need others knowing your emotions. But in a normal life, like yours, I assume, it will only help you. So the moment I said the word you were scared again, but not like it’s a childhood trauma thing. It looked more of a guilt, like “I mucked up and I’m scared” guilt. Then confusion, I figured you were asking yourself “how does she know?” over and over.”

“Exactly!” He opened his eyes and sat up. “See! How?”

Scorpia smiled once again, “All people are different, James. But there is always something similar about all of them. Just got to see the pattern, and you have it all laid out in front of you.”

“Mhm… Sorry, why do you call me James? I mean it’s okay, I don’t mind, it’s just…”

“You don’t call me Ms.Black either, do you?” She cut him off. “I would guess the last name makes you cringe. So, I’m making it easier for both of us. Call me Scorpia, I won’t mind, too. Not in front of the whole class, obviously, but you know what I mean.”

“Oh. Oh, uh, okay, yeah.”

She nodded. “Back to the topic, yes? When you told me you wouldn’t answer the question, I knew it was someone’s secret. It was someone who’s really close to you, and there are not that many options. I don’t think it would have slipped my notice if my brother was a werewolf, would it? So it’s Peter or Remus. Peter just didn't feel like one, and… well, Remus has scars all over him, so it makes it easier to assume. I considered that Evans girl, but you don’t seem too close for such secrets. And then you basically confirmed it with the look in your eyes. And then with your words. Here, that was about the half of what went on in my head unconsciously while we talked. Questions?” 

By the time she finished, James was looking at her with wide eyes and his mouth open, as if she was something unnatural.

“Oh, come on you, it isn’t that hard!” 

“Yeah…” he swallowed, closing his mouth. “Can you… can you teach me? Can Sirius do that too?!”

She laughed softly, getting up from her desk, “No, it’s not a blood thing. But if he would actually focus and put in the effort, he would realize much more than you’d probably expect him to. I think he just chooses to stay oblivious to people’s hidden emotions on purpose. Not sure. I can… I can try and help you see it, maybe. You want to stay after class next time, and I’ll tell you everything I noticed about the students around?”

“Are you saying you will share your pupils' secrets just to teach me psychology?” 

“No, no, not secrets.” She smiled again. “Just small details. Will you stay?”

“Yeah, I will. Thank you. I’ll definitely ask Sirius, too.” He smiled, and slowly rose from his chair, picking up his bag. How much time had they spent here? An hour? 

“Very well. Choose wisely what part of our conversation you will tell them.” 

“Was that a “don’t tell anyone anything” right now?

“Nope” she turned from her window to look at him, “just a warning. Have a good day, I’ll wait for you this Thursday.” 

“Yeah, okay, I will. Thank you. It was nice talking to you?” He tried, but after all that had just happened, added, “I guess. See you.” And ran out of her office.

Well, we talked with James. I want to see Remus, but not now, and I don’t need Peter. 

Regulus’ class will be here tomorrow, the last period. I'll have 3 people to talk to. 

And, I still have to talk to Regulus himself, about that Christmas night.

Thinking about that, she got the wish to run to him right now and hug him now and tell him she’s here. 

You’re pathetic Scorpi, you know? 

She smiled to herself.