the love that was, the love that is
Remus did not know what to do. His arm was numb with the weight of Sirius's head. He had assumed that Sirius would wake up before him, given the full moon he went through, but as he lay with Sirius curled up against him, feeling his breath against his own skin, Remus realised that being on the run without any food for weeks had taken a toll on his already battered body. Outside it was still dark. He did not know what time it was. “I will get him checked at St. Mungo’s, after everything has been resolved,” Remus thought, the images of last evening’s bath ran through his mind.
Sirius's body was nothing but bones. Sirius Black, who used to work out every day without fail because he wanted to be a quidditch player, Sirius Black, who would watch out for his diet, even in the war, because he thought he would eventually play again when the war ended. Sirius Black, who had been through so much and yet still had to suffer. Remus felt his chest hurt at the thought. It always did when something bad happened to him, it didn’t matter if it was a brawl, a quidditch match, or another wave of walburga’s wrath. Seeing Sirius hurt made him feel like his heart had been clawed out of his chest.
Remus turned to face Sirius, pulling him closer. The mere act of putting his hand on his lover’s waist reminded him of how thin he was. Remus pushed the thought away before it spiralled, preferring to gaze at Sirius’ pale face instead. His closed eyes, how his eyelashes caressed his skin. The bridge of his nose, the way it was so sharp, yet rounded at the tip, his cupid’s bow, the way his lips curled into each other. A single strand of his wavy hair framed his face. Covering the side of his face and curling at the jaw, touching the tip of his chin.
Remus kissed Sirius’s forehead, burying his face in his hair. He felt his eyes prick with tears. Remus had heard about wolf mates, and how werewolves also experienced something similar but He thought it to be another baseless theory made by some idiot. But as he lay there, his heart swelling with love, almost relieved, by the mere act of having Sirius lay there next to him, in his arms, finally safe, he thought just maybe, it was true. Remus drifted off to sleep.
The next time Remus woke up, it was because of the morning rays of the sun and movement next to him. Sirius was sitting in bed, fussing with the pillows, positioning one next to Remus to mask his absence, he looked up, meeting Remus’s eyes. “Sorry, did I wake you up?” Remus shook his head in a no. “The sun” he muttered, sitting up, as his shoulder muscles burned with the pain and he collapsed back on the bed. Sirius was next to Remus at once, helping him sit up.
“Are you alright? D’you want me to grab Pomfrey?” He asked anxiously. Remus smiled at him in response, “No, I’m fine Pads, can you grab me my potions? They are in the bathroom cabinet,” Sirius nearly leaped out of bed, a bit wobbly at first, but he came back in less than a minute. Sitting on the edge of the bed.
“You’re weirdly smiley for someone who used to hate waking up in the morning,” Sirius remarked, setting the potions on the bedside table. Remus took Sirius’s hand in between his.
“You had been missing from me. But you are with me. I am quite happy you see.”
Sirius frowned. “You are being romantic.” he squinted his eyes.
“Didn’t you say I should be?”
“That was back in 6th year and I was pissed,”
“Well,” Remus gave no further explanation, preferring to reach out for his potions. “We will have a bunch of things to sort out today, you know. Also we owe Harry and his friends an explanation. Also you made a chew toy out of his best mates leg,”
Sirius groaned “I didn’t mean to do that, It got a bit out of hand, I swear I will apologize moons, It’s just, I was so bloody angry and tired, you know I didn't mean to do that,” he said, laying back down in bed next to Remus, who immediately scooted over to make space for his lover, putting his arms around his shoulder, Remus pulled Sirius closer. Sirius turned to face him, resting his chin on Remus’s shoulder, looking at him through his eyelashes.
“How are you feeling now? Does it hurt anywhere? Tell me if it hurts anywhere, alright?” he muttered, pressing a kiss to his husband's cheek. Remus nuzzled into his neck in response. “I’m fine now, I’ve taken the potions and I've got you right next to me now anyways. I reckon I will be just fine.” he muttered, “ Anyhow, do you want to eat something now, I'm a tad bit hungry.” Almost on cue, the breakfast appeared on the table. Sirius laughed. Remus’s heart felt full. “As long as it’s in bed,”
Sirius had eaten something more than just fruits, Remus was relieved, even if it was just a piece of bacon that he stole from Remus’s plate when he wasn’t looking. Sirius got up, deciding to explore the room. He walked over to the desk cluttered with assignments Remus had been putting off for 2 days. “Bloody hell Moony, I hope you haven’t been giving children that many assignments have you. They are gonna hate you for it”
Remus laughed, “They are not of one specific year only pads, and I have been putting off my work. I still need to grade the assignments and catch up on the syllabus.” he said, watching Sirius fiddle with his little tinkerets on the table. He turned, facing Remus. “Have you taught him? Harry I mean. He was talking to you as if you were awfully close,” he asked. Remus swung his feet off the bed, sitting on the edge as he smiled at Sirius. “He knows me as Professor Lupin, not Uncle Moony. I assure you that I have also missed the entirety of his childhood too. He does not live with me. He lived with Lily’s sister. Let me finish first Sirius, don’t give me that look,” Remus said pointedly,Sirius groaned in annoyance. “Alright you continue, but her? Really?”
“It has something to do with blood connection protecting harry,”
“That’s bollocks,” Sirius stated wryly, spinning Remus’s wand in his hand that he had dug out from somewhere under the pile. “Well , Yes, But I don’t think Dumbledore will send him back now though, You are back,” Remus replied standing up. The potions had kicked in, easing most of his pain. The newspaper owl flew in. Remus glanced at the headline. “And by the looks of it, the whole wizarding world knows that you are not guilty,”
Sirius accio-ed the newspaper, his eyes scanning briefly over the article. It was, not bad, definitely better than what he was expecting. The article painted Sirius as the victim, a war hero who had been wronged. It stated the name of every single death eater he had killed, all of the order missions that had been successful and, the best part of it was that it contained every single wrongdoing of Pettigrew. “The public will go ballistic over this.,” Sirius thought amusingly.
“There is only one person who has all the information of the order,” Remus remarked, moving over to his little tea table.
Sirius sighed. “Dumbledore, yes, I am aware, Moons. This will not make me hate him any less, but yes, this will make me not hate him more.”
Remus hummed in response, picking up a little piece of paper from under the kettle, “Poppy sent a note,” he took a bite of his jammy dodger, Sirius wondered why he even liked those muggle biscuits so much, they were too sweet for his taste, “She says she will visit in the afternoon, and to contact Harry. Apparently those 3 have been pestering her all morning about your whereabouts,” Remus took another biscuit, Sirius amusingly realised that he was still hungry. He met Remus’s eyes. “Shower and Breakfast?,” he asked. Remus smiled, nodding, with biscuit crumbs on his lips.
Before either of them could say anything, a black owl flew with a heavy letter adorned with the Black family Crest as it landed on the pile of parchments on Remus' table. “Sirius, I don't think you should open it,” Remus began worriedly.
Sirius sighed, “Remus, meet Leo, he is Regulus’s owl, and Leo, meet Remus,” The bird softly hooted in response, Remus offered it a treat, it bit him instead.
”Regulus says he will visit at 11,” he declared, Remus casted a quick tempus charm. 10:52.
Shit.