the thing about forgiveness and faults
There was a knock. Remus opened the door, Sirius shadowing him.
Regulus wore dark, inky blue robes. “Sirius ; Lupin,” he greeted, his eyes not leaving Sirius. Remus moved to let him in. “Regulus, how have you been,” Sirius asked, lips curling upwards at the sight of his brother. Remus vividly remembered the last time the brothers had an interaction. “Let’s just sit first,” he found himself saying.
There was a sudden blur as Regulus hugged Sirius as tightly he could, and in that moment Sirius travelled back to when he was 8, and and they had not left for hogwarts yet, and Regulus is still that sweet, shy boy who used to grab the hem of Sirius shirt when he got nervous.
Sirius hugged him back. “I am sorry. I- please. Forgive me,” Regulus breathed out, Sirius could hear the slight wobble in his brother's voice. He folded at once. Breaking apart the hug, graphite eyes meeting blue ones, his hand on Regulus’s shoulders. “It was not your fault okay, It was never your fault and it will never be. You did the right thing. Remember this Regulus. You did the right thing by running away and protecting yourself. You kept your promise. That was what you were supposed to do. You did the right thing,” he said, his own eyes damp after seeing him after so long.
Sirius remembered their last conversation. It was in a damp and disgusting muggle alley which smelt of cigarettes and piss. Regulus had owled him first. He had reached out first and he had cried. Sirius had not seen his brother cry for a long long time. He did not want the mark, he had said. Sirius had pressed a hefty amount of gold in his hand and an illegal portkey to Sicily, “This will activate at 2:00 a.m sharp”, he had muttered hastily, “keep everything you need with yourself and pack up,” And lastly, he had pressed two keys to his hand, “Uncle Alphards house, no one in the family knows about it, don’t worry alright, the house elf will take care of you, and don’t cry okay? It’s going to be alright. I will visit you Reggie. I will visit after this is all over. Be strong, okay? Be strong and promise me to never come back. At least not until this is all over. Don’t come back, don’t worry about me, and do not come back Regulus,”
Now Regulus was here, sitting on the couch and the picture of that 17 year old is still vivid in Sirius' mind. “He must be 29 now,” Sirius thought lightly.
"So, what have you been up to?" he asked, trying to lighten the mood.
“Mother and Father are dead,” Regulus answered instead, he licked his lips. “It was 6 years back. They were in france. They- I don’t know how. I didn't bother. I didn’t even know- the ring had appeared, that is how I found out.”
“ Ring? ” It was Remus who broke the silence. Sirius sighed.
“The signet ring of the Black family. It passes down to the next heir in line when the previous one dies. It is a way of knowing if they are truly dead,”
Remus frowned. “May I see the ring Regulus?” he asked, extending his hand.
Regulus’s fingers had barely extended the ring towards Remus before Sirius snatched it away, eyes wide “It is made of goblin wrought silver,” he hissed, no actual heat in his tone.
Regulus' eyes flitted between his brother and Remus. “I am so sorry Remus, I didn’t remember,”
Remus gave him a wry smile, “It is not your fault. I was the one who asked to inspect the ring in the first place.”
“Looks like he is really dead,” Sirius muttered, holding out the signet for Regulus to take back. The younger boy hesitated. “I don’t want it, Sirius,” he confessed. “I came here with an offer,” he laughed humorlessly, “Feels wrong to call it an offer, it’s more of a request really,”
Sirius set down the ring on the table. “What is it Reggie?” he asked softly.
“I want you to be reinstated into the family,” Regulus whispered back, his voice wavering. “I know I haven't been the best brother Sirius, after everything you did for me, I couldn't even save you, but I- It’s wrong of me to ask you this, I left you there, in Azkaban. I left you there. And now I am here asking you to do something, because I am too much of a fucking coward, but I can’t do this, not alone, not without you. I know it is pathetic of me to ask you for something when I was of no use to you when you needed me I just- I am sorry Sirius. Please,” Regulus cried out, his blue eyes glossed over with unshed tears. Sirius moved over to his brother's side at once. Pulling in closer as Regulus clutched his brother's shirt, and buried his head between his shoulders, crying softly.
Sirius cradled him. Remus got up, simply mouthing Tea? to Sirius who gave a curt nod and a small smile in response.
“Regulus, I forgive you.” Sirius whispered, a few moments later, sitting cross legged on the sofa, as he faced his brother. “Even if I don’t believe it to be your fault in the first place. It was wrong of me to trust Pettigrew and my decision will forever haunt me. But it wasn’t your fault that I went to Azkaban and It wasn’t your fault that you couldn’t do anything. You left them Reg, you left our family, you made the right choice. Never regret that choice. Never I mean it. And for the reinstatement part, I am willing to do it, you dolt. But firstly you gotta tell me the plan you're brewing in that big brain of yours.” he chuckled, poking his brother on the forehead.
Regulus batted his hand away, smiling at Sirius’s antics, his shoulders relaxed as he leaned back into the sofa.
“I want to start over. This family I mean,” Regulus confessed. “It is in a dire need for a makeover y’know. The plan is to start with Grimmauld place. You remember all the cursed objects and shit that was there. I want it all gone. All the silver too,” he said, nodding in the direction of Remus, who had their back towards them, taking entirely too much time to brew tea, even for the muggle way. “And after I want it to be all to start anew. The Noble and the most Ancient House of Blacks will turn over a new leaf. We have so much money Sirius. So much that can go to so many good causes and we will still have heaps of gold left. I want this to be the new picture of our family,” He sighed, “The war is looming above us Siri. There are rumours, whispers, about him coming back. I plan to start an organisation, nothing like the Order though, to be prepared. To stop him before he can even start. There won’t be any war this time, I won't let there be one.. I have associates, still, running in those circles. I have gotten some information. I will fill you in. Both of you, but not here and not alone. I, uh, I have a mate, he’s with me in this thing. Actually he was the one who egged on the idea.“
Sirius sat still, trying to process everything his brother had told him. The war was something that still haunted him. Remus found the perfect moment to hand the brothers their tea.
“I think,” Remus began, treading carefully on the subject, “Is that we should just focus on the “destroying Grimmauld place” part for now Regulus. Let’s just wait, for the defeating Voldermort thing, at least until the summer,” his eyes flicked nervously over to Sirius, who was staring off into the distance, his face expressionless. “Everything is very fresh right now. He hasn’t even talked to Harry properly yet. Not after everything. Just, give it some time alright.” He asked, voice getting quieter by the end of his sentence. Sirius sighed. “I think Moony is right,” he muttered, “Let’s just focus on cleaning up No. 12 first,” Remus could almost see a cloud of gloom drift over his lover’s head.
Regulus seemed to understand. He gave a small smile in response. “James son?” he asked. A sun seemed to have emerged from the clouds. “Oh, Harry you mean,” Sirius grinned widely at the mention of his godson, “He’s a brilliant boy. Brave, courageous, smart, just like Lily, and he is great at Quidditch. I've seen him, he’s a seeker, just like you Reggie, and he is damn good at it, he got his Potter genes sorted out for him,” he said, sipping on his tea.
“You mean you stalked him,” Regulus retorted .
“Well, in my defence, people would have freaked out if an escaped death eater from Azkaban was sitting up in the benches, cheering for his house,” Sirius said, setting down in empty cup on the table as he raised himself from the couch, stretching out his arms and groaning.
“I can’t stay here any longer, reckon it’s time for a walk to the infirmary. Or maybe the kitchens, I’m still hungry,” he sighed.
Regulus perked up at the comment. “How about both of you have breakfast at mine,” he suggested, “We could go over everything in private, and also I need to write a letter to Andy about everything,” he said standing up.
Sirius hummed in response, “Anything else?” he asked pointedly, looking at his brother. Regulus' face turned a furious shade of red, “How do you always know,” he grumbled, “I also, sort of, want to introduce you to someone,” he mumbled, plainly ignoring his brother’s widening grin.
“Glad to know you have something going on for you in your dating life Regulus,” Sirius teased. “Is she magic or muggle? I hope she’s a muggle, mother would be rolling in her grave,”
Regulus sniffed haughtily, “ I will have you know that he is a half blood from a perfectly respectable family. And also you are not the only one who can be gay in this family,”
Sirius jaw dropped, Remus decided to interfere “Thank you so much for the invitation Regulus, we will be there shortly,” He conjured a writing pad, “Just write down your Floo address, I am afraid neither of us have showered yet, and we also need to get meet up with Pomfrey before,”
Regulus wrote down the address, enjoying the reaction he had gotten out of his brother as he moved to hug him.
“Well see you later Siri,” he chirped out,
“You could’ve told me. I would’ve worried a lot less about telling you about me and Remus,” Sirius grumbled. “Anyhow, we’ll probably end up late at yours, It’s almost 12, we shouldn’t even call it breakfast anyways. More like Lunch, Expect us at around 1:30 ish,”
Regulus nodded wordlessly Bidding them both goodbye as he flooed back to some Briar cottage.