…at least no honda odyssey
“This car is old as hell,” Regulus remarked, wiping a clean line of dust off the dashboard with his fingertip.
“It’s not that bad, at least it’s not a Honda Odyssey,” Deadpool replied, opening the door and peering inside, immediately coughing. “Okay- nevermind,” he managed between coughs.
“Of course S.H.I.E.L.D can afford forty fucking holographic coffee machines in their fucking helicarrier, but they can’t stick us with anything other than a shitty 1998 Nissan.” Regulus grumbled.
“So who’s driving?” Deadpool asked.
“I’ll drive.” Regulus replied quickly, shoving Deadpool aside and hopping into the drivers seat.
“Goddamn, man, chill,” Deadpool huffed, slipping into the (also dusty) passenger seat. “Can you drive well anyways?”
“I can drive better than you,” Regulus snarked, starting up the car.
Then immediately reversing into a fire hydrant.
“Uh, why don’t you drive?”
“Y-yeah, I’ll do that.”
🕸️🕸️🕸️🕸️🕸️
“When I say ‘shit’, you say ‘hole’. Shit! -”
“Shut the fuck up,” Regulus covered Deadpool’s mouth frantically, slumping the both of them down in their seats.
“Hole,” Deadpool said weakly.
As they were trying to get as low as possible, one Edward Brock (maybe, he was wearing a hood, Regulus couldn’t know for sure) was walking briskly out of the genuine shithole of an abandoned building tucked away in the backwaters of downtown London.
Regulus reached into the backseat of the car, pulling two black hoodies out and handing one to Deadpool.
“We can’t take our masks off, but we need disguises.”
“Aw, sweet, like, a double disguise. Disguise squared. Disguise sequel. Disg-”
“Just put the hoodie on.”
Once they both had the hoodies on with their hoods up (Regulus’ looking way bigger on him than Deadpool even though the hoodies were the same size), they reported to Fury.
“Yeah, he’s just walking off around the house - if you can even call it that - and there’s no sign of Venom. He’s talking to himself, which might mean he’s talking to Venom or he’s just plain fucking insane.” Regulus spoke into his communication device while Deadpool tried to get a better look from the car at Eddie, who had started sweating more (if that was possible).
“Right, well, until we get more intel we need you two to essentially stake him out, try to get as much information as possible. And Spider-Man?” Fury sighed.
“Yeah?” Regulus replied absentmindedly, trying to also get a look at where Eddie was.
“I cannot stress this enough, do not make contact with Mr Bro-”
Regulus hung up.
No way anybody could follow instructions they never heard.
The truth was, Regulus had full intention of ‘making contact’.
This guy had been fucking up the last few months for them consistently, and Regulus wanted to know what the fuck they were doing.
“Y-you just hung up. On Nick Fury.”
“Yeah, so?”
“You just hung up on Nick motherfucking Fury , man, respect.” Deadpool held out a fist for a fistbump, probably pouting under the mask when Regulus opted to peek out the window instead, giving himself the fistbump. “How long are we staying here anyways?”
“Uh, depends on when our friend Eddie decides to come out of this dump.” Regulus muttered, craning his head to see inside through the broken, boarded up window.
“Okay, fuck, you know if it’s gonna be soon?”
Regulus sighed, sitting back in his seat and turning to look at Deadpool. “Why are you so anxious to leave? What do you need to get back to?”
“I- well, nothing. But it’s just…” Deadpool trailed off, looking down at his hands, which were fiddling with an open pocket knife. “I don’t have the best track record with stake-outs.”
“What does that mean?”
“Well… it’s just… I always end up, like, getting slammed into walls so hard they break. You’d be surprised how many times it's happened.”
“So, what, you’re jinxed?”
“Maybe,” Deadpool shrugged.
“Well we’re not going to be in the house when he’s here, so you’re not getting your head shoved through a wall. Unless it’s me. Which it probably will be. Whoa, you really are jinxed.”
“See?”
Regulus shushed Deadpool, leaning forward in his seat to see Eddie in the same grotty sweatshirt he’s been in for a while with the hood up stalking out of the house, wincing and muttering to himself/Venom.
“Got ‘im.” He murmured, grabbing a piece of paper and writing down the time he left and slipping out the car, gesturing for Deadpool to follow.
Deadpool, stuffing the pocket knife back into some lining in his suit, hopped out as well, stumbling on a few twigs and rocks.
Regulus motioned for him to be quiet, staying pressed up against any flat surface he could find as they made their way into the hideout.
Once they were inside, however, it seemed more like nobody was ever there.
There weren’t any personal belongings laid anywhere and nothing to indicate Eddie was sleeping or laying down anywhere.
“Did you know Venom eats people?” Deadpool asked, also looking around.
“Wait, really?”
“Yeah, but I don’t think my homeboy Eddie would be too big on that. Unless he likes that kinda stuff, if you know what I mean. I feel like he’d be a secret - or not so secret - BDSM guy.”
“Okay- can you look?”
“Huh?- Oh, yeah, what am I looking for again?”
“Anything that’ll give anything away about what Eddie and Venom are trying to do with the whole terrorising shtick.”
Deadpool nodded, walking around the corner to a different room and leaving Regulus’ line of sight.
Regulus peered around, looking for anything Eddie could have left behind, when he heard a thump from the other room and a groan.
“Uh, Webs?” Deadpool called. “I think I found someth-mph!”
His voice was muffled at the end, although seeming disgustingly optimistic.
Regulus all but sprinted to various rooms, finally spotting Deadpool shoved up against a wall, plaster crumbling around him and Eddie doing the freaky Venom-fist thing, holding him up.
“Heey, Ed,” Regulus said cautiously, inching towards them. “What about you let go of Deadpool and we talk?”
Eddie’s eyes were frantically darting around. “I- fine,” he let go of Deadpool, who fell a solid foot to the ground.
“N-nice grip, man.” He panted from the floor.
“I need to tell you two something, and- no I know we’re getting in trouble, but- no, I don’t wanna hear it. Do you know how much shit that crazy bitch has gotten us in? Anyways, we don’t want anything to do with taking over the world or something, but we’re being fo- no, stop, I- fine, no, but do I look like I give a shit? Okay yeah ‘no, you look like shit though, meh meh meh,’ haha very funny, but I need to do this. No, you’re not. NO. I- fuck this,” Eddie was interrupted from confessing some very useful shit to Regulus and Deadpool by Venom.
Of course, Venom needed all the attention in the fucking world, so he had to change Eddie into the infamous goop stain.
“Oh fuck,” Deadpool muttered, getting it faster than Regulus that Venom was dead-set on trying to kill them this time, tackling Regulus as soon as a moist black gooey hand reached out to punch him. “Run!”
They started booking it further into the trees.
“Why are we running?” Regulus huffed breathlessly, stopping in his tracks.
“Come on,” Deadpool groaned, grabbing him by the arm and dragging him to hide behind a tree.
“Why are you running?” Regulus asked, trying to free his arm.
“Look,” Deadpool panted, facing him. “This guy? This goop? He doesn’t care about me, at all, which is a first, because everybody loves me. But what does he care about? Fucking pummelling you. And Eddie was right in the middle of explaining it to us, and now he’s extra riled up and extra trying to kill you.”
“Bu-”
“And now I need to make sure you don’t fucking die, so stay. Here.”
“What? No! I’m going to fight!”
“Let’s be real, Webs, you’re not the most skilled combatter. You’re a good one, sure, with all your webs and shit, but you’re not the best at on-the-floor combat. Not against this guy, at least.”
“Did-did you just insult me?”
“I can take it - it doesn’t matter if he tears off my arm or my legs or my dick again,” Deadpool pleaded, sounding more earnest and trying to hold Regulus from going to fight Venom himself. “But you can’t man, stay here for at least a little bit?”
Fuck this guy.
“I- no! I’m fighting!” Regulus adamantly replied. “It hasn’t stopped me before, and I won’t fucking get killed now!”
Regulus couldn’t tell if Deadpool flinched at the word ‘killed’ or how loud he was getting yelled at.
“Okay. Fine.” Deadpool conceded. “...I’m sorry baby boy.” He pulled out a long knife, pinching the side of Regulus’ suit and shoving the knife through the suit and deep into the tree Regulus was leaning against.
He did the same to the other side, essentially trapping Regulus against the tree like a dartboard while he squirmed and kicked.
“This is for your own good,” Deadpool muttered, narrowly dodging the webbing Regulus sent his way.
“Fuck you.” Regulus grunted, trying his hardest to kick Deadpool, who didn’t even waver. Stupid abs. “Fuck this suit. Fuck this tree. Fuck-”
Before Regulus could finish his curse to the world, Deadpool was sprinting off to go find Venom.
🕸️🕸️🕸️🕸️🕸️
“-And finally, fuck Deadpool.” Regulus grunted quietly, pulling himself away from the knife. If he listened quietly, he could hear the ‘ shing’ sound effect from Deadpool’s katanas and soft grunts of combat.
So Regulus, with two gaping holes in the sides of his suit, set out to go find them and fucking fight.
He felt a lot like the guy that had to clean up the Battle of Troy, trees smashed and the lingering aura of a fight, but no Deadpool and no Venom.
He wandered around frantically looking for them.
Was he even in the right place?
Was he even near the right place?
When he heard a roar from somewhere distant, Regulus started sprinting towards the source.
He wound up right in the middle of a busy road, cars mostly deserted and overturned, save for a few people Regulus had to get to safety soon.
The light poles were, once again, broken and there was a Deadpool-shaped hole in one of the brick walls.
After getting everyone he could see to safety, Regulus set out looking around for Deadpool and Venom.
They appeared to be recently fighting close by - the smell of blood and smoke being overpowering.
An eruption of dust and debris was suddenly right in front of Regulus.
As he fanned the air around him, trying to see anything, the only thing he could think about was how stupid he was for not bringing weapons with him.
He was also thinking about how he didn’t get to watch Terrifier 3.
But that was a different story.
As the smoke cleared, he saw a distant black figure leaping towards him, and a startled “NO, FUCK!” that Regulus was sure didn’t come from him.
Then Regulus was tackled to the ground. When he sat back up, he saw Deadpool in his place, on the floor, katana out and trying to kick away a relentless Venom.
“Shit,” Regulus huffed out, scrambling up and grabbing a brick.
He tossed it up in his hand, feeling the weight of it and chucking it directly at Venom’s head, whom he felt was solid enough to feel it.
It hit Venom directly in the head (yay, Regulus!), projecting off his head and flying into the wall of a nearby building (ooh, Regulus, keep that Spidey-strength in check).
Regulus barely held back the wince as Venom’s head slowly turned to look at him and Deadpool kicked him a solid five metres away from them.
“WHAT ARE YOU DOING?” Deadpool yelled at him, fighting off Venom.
“YOU KNOW I WASN’T ABOUT TO DO NOTHING WHILE YOU FOUGHT THIS GUY!” Regulus yelled back, focused on trapping Venom with his webbing.
“Anyways, I’m digging the whole slit in the waist look you’ve got going on with your suit. Very chic.”
“Yeah, you did it.”
“Oh, right!” Deadpool grunted, pushing himself off one leg, leaping at Venom while brandishing his katana point-first.
A flashback flickered in front of Regulus’ eyes, one where Deadpool got his fucking arm chewed off during their first fight.
But before Regulus could leap forward as well, Venom seemed to… liquidise?
Eddie narrowly emerged, ducking out of the way as Deadpool stabbed air and the katana went down into the concrete around where the Venom goop was slowly spreading.
Eddie slowly turned to look at Regulus awkwardly, bouncing on his heels and scratching the back of his neck sheepishly.
“So… nice weather, huh? What am I saying, it’s London, weather’s shit. But anyways, I think it’s time for me to make like my father and… uh…run.” Eddie started sprinting away before Regulus could try and catch him.
Regulus felt his pupils dilate (not in the good way like a cat) as he looked at where the Venom goop was slowly spreading onto Deadpool, who was frantically trying to shake it off.
“You stupid clingy ex,” he grunted, shaking his arm rapidly.
Slowly but surely, the Venom seeped up through Deadpool’s neck, transforming him (him? Them?) into the final boss Venompool form.
Now, Regulus hadn’t truly seen his Venomised self in action, only seeing blurry YouTube footage and, of course, the photos his own job published, but he was sure he didn’t look as much of an absolute unit as Venompool did.
That was what he was going to call him: Venompool.
Made it feel less weird than still calling it Deadpool.
“Fuck offff,” he groaned under his breath, looking up slowly at the added height Venom gave Deadpool.
His colouring was reversed - with the red in his suit turned black and the weird triangle thingies around his eyes and the black patterning on his suit turned white.
There were little ooey Venom arms protruding from his body, holding his guns as his normal arms were holding his katanas.
Speaking of those pesky katanas (Deadpool had told him their names, but Regulus was too panicked to remember), the blades weren’t glinting silver, but instead a weird clear pink substance (they looked more deadly than they sounded) (also, they were some weird kind of material, he would have to ask Dr Strange) (yeah that’s right, he knew Dr Strange).
“Time to die, Webs.” Deadpool growled (his voice was the same, but less lighthearted and more deep and cold, which Regulus couldn’t determine if that was something his normal voice could do or something Venom did to his voice) and lunged for Regulus, throwing a katana back for a Venom arm to catch and instead aiming a punch towards him.
“Um, no thanks?” Regulus dodged the punch, leaning backwards. “You’re a head case if you think I’m gonna let some idiot in a clown costume kill me.”
“I am a head case.” Ah, great, good ol’ Deadpool hadn’t lost his sense of humour, except now it was just said with his new (sexy?) voice.
Regulus had to retreat. Quickly.
He leaped up onto the nearest untouched light pole, assessing as much of the situation as he could without having a panic attack.
Okay, so the most harmful things were those guns.
Easy peasy.
“You’re pretty flexible Webs, that’s hot.” Deadpool purred, walking lazily to look up at him.
Okay, so he hadn’t lost his lack of shame either. Great.
Regulus, choosing not to give in, didn’t reply, shooting out two webs to grab both the guns.
Don’t bend the muzzle. Barrel. Shaft. Coc- okay, my point is, don’t bend that part of the gun, empty the clips first.
Deadpool’s normal voice echoed in his ears.
So he did just that. He also bent the barrel with his bare hands. Just ‘cause he could.
“Come down, little arachnid!” Deadpool taunted, twisting a katana around his fingers.
Hot.
…Was definitely not Regulus’ first thought.
Regulus decided to be a man (he was barely a man, more of a child, but still) and cautiously hopped down.
“That’s a good spider,” Deadpool drawled. “Don’t worry, I won’t tear one of your spider legs off.”
A tense pause.
“But I’ll settle for an arm.” He shrugged, throwing a knife at the meat of Regulus’ shoulder.
It was stuck in there. Stuck in there.
When you get stabbed, first you just feel the impact.
The push of the *insert stabbing object* in your *insert body part stabbed*.
If you think too hard, you can feel it push and tear apart the flesh. If you think too hard, it makes you squeamish.
Regulus’ eyes widened, looking down at his shoulder and the hilt of the little pocket knife protruding out of it.
Then you feel the heat.
The intense tingle, like you’ve just stuck a fork in an electric socket. It’s the circuitboard of your nervous system being lit up.
Or set completely on fire.
Regulus didn’t feel the heat though.
The heat of the adrenaline?
Yeah, that was more than the heat of the knife.
He choked up, falling to his knees for a second.
His eyes unfocused for a second before coming to his senses.
He looked up directly in front of him. And directly to Deadpool’s crotch.
Regulus winced, looking further up, glaring at the unfeeling black eyes of Venompool’s mask.
“Fuck you.” He choked out, punching the merc right in the testicular area.
Low blow (pun not intended), he knows, but you could argue stabbing someone in the shoulder was lower.
He took the slight faltering of Venompool as a chance to escape again, trying to get as high as possible so he could work out a way to figure the whole situation the fuck out.
Once perched on top of a stop sign, Regulus looked down at Deadpool, who, quite frankly, looked nothing like Deadpool.
There wasn’t even room to be playful with him. It was all animalistic glares and tense shoulders.
That was when it sank in.
He was the target. The mark. The subject. The quarry. Whatever.
This was what it felt like to be hunted by Deadpool. Perhaps less scary because he wasn’t being annoying as fuck and making jokes.
He was like a job.
For all that it’s worth, he really was a good mercenary. Not a good thing though.
So Regulus suspended himself from his web, slowly lowering himself to the ground, ignoring the shockwave it sent through his body and to his shoulder.
Then he sprinted.
While he was running, Regulus tried hard to come to the truth that he wasn’t running away from Venompool, he was just biding time.
So he had to prepare himself to fight Deadpool , of all people.
Now he knew that the times Deadpool had to fight Venomised Regulus, it was relatively easy, and in no way as blown up as Regulus was thinking his fight with Venompool was going to be.
Well that was because Regulus was holding back till he felt every blood cell in his body this close to bursting.
The whole process of having Venom inside you when you aren’t compatible like him and Eddie is an obtrusive one. You’re still half aware of your own body, except there’s something else controlling it. So you try to make it stop, but there’s nothing you can really do but make your movements more sluggish.
Regulus didn’t know if Deadpool was fully giving in to Venom or he wasn’t trying to fight back.
It’s at times like these (running frantically for his life), he decides to reflect on his heart-touching (and wound-touching) (and trauma-touching) childhood.
By ‘reflect’ he means he’s gonna fucking put up the barriers that make him less susceptible to having flashbacks.
He tried to steel himself as much as he could while panting, out of breath and sliding around the corner to press himself up against a wall.
He leaned (slammed) the back of his head against the wall and sniffed, getting ready to do as much defensive fighting as possible.
The only good thing was he didn’t have to worry about hurting or killing Deadpool.
Venompool was walking at a normal pace, like you would walk to the shops to buy kale (not that Regulus was purchasing any kale anytime soon, but still). It was incredibly unnerving.
Regulus flinched as he heard the sound of his katana scraping the floor, probably holding it loosely in one hand/Venom limb attachment like he was trying to do a whole psycho - Harley Quinn thing.
The way you could tell this wasn’t Deadpool was because nobody was talking. Other than Regulus’ shallow breaths and the ringing in his ears from the wall being pressed up against his shoulder, and therefore driving the knife further out, nobody was saying anything.
If this was Deadpool , he would really be using his new ‘little spider’ schtick to the max.
When Regulus mustered up the courage to peek at where Venompool was walking, he saw that he had ditched the Venom limbs, holding his two katanas in two hands, but keeping the whole suit modification.
But it didn’t stop at that, Regulus’ lack of suit modification made it easy as fuck for Venompool to see the red head poke out from behind a wall.
His mask contorted in a way that it only could if he was goon-grinning underneath it, and Regulus barely resisted the urge to shudder.
He squared his shoulders (ignoring the one in searing pain) and backflipped between two buildings to do his signature superhero landing pose a few metres in front of Venompool.
No wannabe-funny quip. No expression of surprise at his landing.
No nothing.
Ouch.
So Regulus had to do all the talking.
“What’s up, ‘Pool? You wanna know what my favourite month is?”
Deadpool said nothing, advancing slowly towards Regulus.
“ Web -ruary! Haha! No? Okay, you’re- you’re going to kill me. Okay. Bet. Totally fine.” He backflipped away from where Venompool was bringing his katana down in a robotic (but powerful) motion.
The katana was stuck into the ground, sending cracks throughout the concrete.
Regulus slid away from him, who only had one of his katanas.
Regulus decided, before he was going to try and convince Deadpool to get the fuck out of Venom, he was going to get armed.
Then Venompool continued charging, and Regulus thought, never-fucking-mind then.
He tried to duck out of the way as they fought, he really did.
But his Spidey-senses were overriding with the stab wound in his shoulder (and at that point, he probably had more stab wounds other places) and the presence of Deadpool and Venom.
So Regulus got slashed. He got stabbed some more.
He did manage to get a few hits in though (go Reggie!).
Against all his better judgement (that didn’t go into his survival instincts) Regulus knew he shouldn’t have straddled Venompool to try and get a few punches in, but he told his conscience to let him have something before he probably maybe possibly died.
But as they fought (Regulus mostly defensively), he started eyeing the katana left behind in the middle of the deserted road.
Regulus figured this was some sword-in-the-stone type shit, so he eyed where the katana was surrounded by cracks (like that scene at the end of the Marvel Loki series, if you know, you know) and prepared his brute spider strength.
Venompool was advancing rapidly towards where Regulus had scrambled away to check out the sword - no, scratch that, he was sprinting to Regulus.
Regulus leaped away from him, sliding on his knees to where the sword was plunged into the road, grabbing it as he passed.
One thing Regulus did not account for was how rough the fucking concrete was, and how easily it would tear up the knees of his suit.
Sorry Evan.
When he looked down, his knees were bloody and scraped, and the edges of the torn suit around his knees were flapping around.
Another thing (yes, another thing) Regulus didn’t account for was the sheer brute strength he had. From pulling his punches, Regulus underestimated how strong he was. When he went to look at the point of the katana, it was broken off, leaving the jagged, broken end of it.
“Shiiit,” he breathed out, looking up and seeing Venompool charging towards him (again, seriously).
In a moment of pure self defence (and a lack of knowing how to wield a fucking katana), Regulus held out the jagged end of the katana at where Venompool’s head would be and shut his eyes tightly, bracing for impact.
Regulus felt something push through onto the katana, opening his eyes before seeing that he had skewered Venompool's head.
He let go of the hilt of the katana in shock, remembering that Deadpool wasn’t going to give up, so Venompool definitely wasn’t. So then he kicked him while he was down, quite literally.
Side-kick right in the guts.
Venompool fell, limp, only in the way that you would if you fell asleep while standing up (a Regulus Black Special) and someone poked you.
Regulus had to physically shake his head to stop himself from thinking he killed Deadpool.
This is Venom, he reminded himself. Deadpool’s coming back, alive.
He stilled his shaking hands, kneeling down in front of a slumped Venompool and webbing him up lightly so the Venom in him didn’t get out and start beating Regulus up again.
“Uh, hey, buddy.” Regulus winced. “ ‘buddy’, that sounds fucking weird.” He scoffed out a laugh.
“So… uh, Deadpool, if you can hear me, you gotta get out of Venom. Or you gotta force Venom out of you. Whatever, I don’t know how this bullshit works.”
He gingerly sat down cross-legged in front of Venompool, taking a deep breath.
“Deadpool? Can you hear me?”
He heard a grunt come from the otherwise motionless body.
“Okay, man, you need to, like, talk.”
“Yeah,” the normal Deadpool voice grunted quickly.
“Uh, okay, so- what, do you think I could… talk you out of Venom?”
“Yeah,”
“I’m gonna need more than that.”
“Talk me out of Venom, baby!” He offered weakly, sounding less like an exclamation mark and more strained.
Regulus felt his hands start sweating, which might be blood, either way Regulus wiped them on the tattered remains of the suit on his thighs and prepared himself.
“Um, so you reckon you’re strong enough to… like… fight your way out?”
“Sure.”
“Okay, we’re doing a whole monosyllabic thing, that’s fine, it’ll just be me yapping. Uh, I’ll start with the motivational shit? Okay, you know what? I’m no good at too touchy-feely motivational speeches. So I’ll start listing reasons you want - no, need - to eject Venom or whatever.”
Regulus started gathering the mental library of things he had actually bothered to hear whenever Deadpool just talked and talked and talked and talked and- you get it.
“Well, I know you really - I mean really - adore your parents. You-you talk about how selfless they are, how willing they are to care for others. You also really like talking about the little things they do. When your father forgot to bring down dishes from his study once and your mother just kept going up and adding dishes until he felt compelled to bring them all down because he came home from work to see you eating dinner from a paper plate.
You also like talking about your best mates, they seem really close. You once asked how many friends I had, and I shrugged, and you called me boring, and then you went on to say everybody you even remotely liked was your friend. Like, even if you hadn’t met them. If someone liked the movie ‘Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs’ and you hadn’t even met them, they were your friend. If some random stranger on the Internet was willing to duo in Dress to Impress with you, they were your friend.
You really like watching chick-flicks. Or, like, really teenage girl-y TV shows. You don’t shut up about 10 Things I Hate About You, or White Chicks, or Gilmore Girls, or the Golden Girls. God, you never fucking shut up about the Golden Girls. You named your katanas after one of them, yeah? I’m sorry, but it was time for one of them to go to the nursing home. Who was it, anyways? B…b-”
“Bea Arthur!” Deadpool groaned, looking way too much in pain to be talking about a character.
He looked- oh, he was trying to get Venom out .
“So,” Regulus looked slightly alarmed, watching Deadpool spasm. “Do I keep talking? I-I’m gonna keep talking. So, what else do you like? Uh, you like hot chocolate, specifically how one of your friends makes it. You also like the colours gold and red, and you like warm weather, even if it makes you almost pass out in your suit. You like cold weather, too. Bit of an oxymoron, if you ask me, just pick a fucking season, but still. You love watching people - I like watching people too, but probably in a more creepy and quiet way than you. You like hearing the pitter-patter of rain on car windows and light rain in the spring, but you don’t like when it’s pouring and ruins your plans. You- oh, fuck.”
Regulus leaped up, getting ready to budge in wherever he needed.
Deadpool was squirming and spasming more than before, really trying to get Venom out.
Regulus was this close to getting high frequency sound machines, if only he wasn’t a bit close to teetering over from blood loss, and, quite honestly, tiredness.
Regulus’ eyes widened as Deadpool fully turned into the Venom symbiote form - the 7’7” beast thingy.
“Let me go. Eddie will find you.” Its deep voice sounded out, before completely leaving Deadpool’s body.
Regulus hardly watched Venom seep through yet another sewer grate before he collapsed.
Maybe he could dream about Terrifier 3.
🕸️🕸️🕸️🕸️🕸️
Regulus looked down from the bright lights lining the ceiling of the S.H.I.E.L.D helicarrier, peering at Deadpool, who seemed stiff and cold.
But not in the way he was before, beating Regulus up.
He looked… responsible? And fucking majestic. He was talking to the S.H.I.E.L.D agents, telling them what happened to Regulus. Hot.
Deadpool wasn’t that much better than Regulus initially, being literally stabbed in the head, but his stupid good healing factor helped so much.
He still had slight slashes on his suit, and blood on his forearms.
But it didn’t look like his blood.
It was… Regulus’ blood?
Oh, Deadpool had carried him.
“Hey,” Regulus mumbled, laying down on the stretcher thingy S.H.I.E.L.D had given him.
“Uh, hi.” Deadpool muttered, looking down at the floor.
Regulus realised that he was feeling weird as shit - his whole body had basically been taken over, using his strength and skills to harm others. It didn’t seem like he had a problem with harming others when he was in his own body though.
Whatever Regulus, no time to be bitter.
“Look, it’s fine, I’ve got no hard feeling about you stabbing me and hunting me down and-”
“Yeah. I get it.”
Regulus winced. Did he do something wrong?
“Oh, well-”
“Yeah, no, it’s- I’m fine.” Deadpool crossed his arms - he wasn’t crossing his arms, he was shielding himself. It was a protective stance. “I’m… I’m gonna go.”
He turned around, Regulus getting half ready (against his better judgement) to yell at him to come the fuck back, when he felt the pain.
The adrenaline was wearing off.
Regulus gave one lazy grin at the doctors coming to look at his injuries from the mask pulled up to his nose and promptly blacked (Black-ed, if you’re feeling punny) out.