As We Know It
Barty walks up to Evan, who’s watching Dumbledore from the nurses station.
“What’s going on now?” He asks.
Evan doesn’t move his head, still staring, “Something happened in the O.R., the one Regulus was in.”
“What?” He leans in, “Evan. What?”
“The paramedic is missing, but that’s all I know.” He tells Barty, watching as Dumbledore steps out. “Chief?”
Dumbledore waves him off.
〚*〛
It’s Marlene who steps into the O.R. this time, her arms crossed, looking at James.
“Dr. Potter.”
James seems to realize it’s her and not Dylan, eyes catching, “Dr. Mckinnon?”
“How is it going?” She wants to know if James and Sirius know Regulus is still up here. Surely they don’t. It would have been the first thing they asked. But not only that, she wants to know how much longer they are going to take.
James sighs, “He’s got a second bleed under the skull base. If I do what the textbooks would tell me, he’d lose his speech, herniate through the first craniotomy and die.”
“What’s the other option?” Marlene questions him.
“Well,” he starts, “if I do what I want to do, he could lose the power of speech, herniate through the first craniotomy and die.”
“But that won’t happen.” Sirius says from where he is suturing Tucker's surgical wound.
“Good luck with that.” Marlene tells them, still lingering in the room.
James turns his head, “Is there something you want?”
“You know, it was really foolish of you not to evacuate.” She shifts the weight from foot to foot.
“You too, Marls.” Sirius looks over.
“Yeah,” she chuckles, “me too.”
James is trying to lighten the mood, ease the stress, “We should consider a change of profession.”
“We should,” Marlene agrees.
“Can you operate and uh. . . remove the device from the guy?” Sirius asks, confused as to why she’s in here chit-chatting with them instead of the other O.R..
“After the bomb squad is through assessing him, I’m going to try.”
That’s all they really can do; try.
“I don’t want to be the guy who kills Mary’s boyfriend.” James sighs.
Marlene does one better, “I don’t want to be the guy who kills us all.”
〚*〛
Dylan Young is strapping a vest onto Regulus’ body, talking from behind him.
“Do you realize how stupid that was?”
“It was, Regulus, incredibly stupid.” Dorcas adds, from where she is standing. She is the one who is holding the ambu bag now.
Regulus snaps at her, “Dorcas, I really don’t need you to make fun of me right now, okay? You should have just let me stay home.”
“Don’t blame this on me.”
“I’m not,” Regulus says, their eyes meeting, “I had a feeling.”
Marlene is standing in the hall, taking a deep breath before stepping inside, going straight to Dorcas.
“It’s time for you to go.” She tells her.
Dorcas squeezes the bag, “No, I’m staying.”
Marlene takes it out of her hand, or tries at least, “There is nothing more you can do here. We’ve got it covered.”
Dorcas stays unmoving.
“Dorcas, this is not another cool surgery. This ammo could go off at any time and kill everyone in this room.” Regulus closes his eyes gently, trying not to imagine that, “Do you understand that? You cannot be in here.”
Dorcas looks at Marlene, “You think this is about surgery?”
Marlene leans in her ear, trying to get her point across without shouting their secret relationship from the rooftop.
“Dorcas, I cannot do this with you in here. I cannot think.”
Dorcas bites her lip, looking at Regulus.
“Go, Dorcas,” he says, “we are going to be fine.”
She steps back, letting Marlene take the bag for her. But she can’t leave before telling Marlene, “You know in movies there’s always the hero and then there’s the other guy, the guy who sees danger and then runs in the opposite direction?” Marlene nods, waiting for Dorcas to continue, “Be the other guy.”
She opens the door, taking one last look at Marlene and Regulus.
And then she’s gone.
Regulus doesn’t cry in front of other people, only James, so he’s embarrassed when the tears are welling in his eyes and everybody is staring at him.
“You’ve got a plan, right?” His throat threatens to close, “You have a way to get me out of this?”
〚*〛
Dorcas stumbles into the locker room, barely able to see through her tears.
She shouldn’t have left.
Not Regulus.
Definitely not Marlene.
She slams her palm into the wall, not willing to break her hand by punching it. It doesn’t work, she feels exactly the same.
Over again, and over again, Dorcas tries to get her anger out until she hears Evan’s voice.
“Dorcas?” He says.
She wipes her face before turning around, realizing that Barty with him as well.
He asks, “Where is Regulus?”
Dorcas puts her face in her hand, explaining through the tears.
〚*〛
“Calm down,” Lily preaches to Dumbledore.
He waves his hand around, “I have an evacuated O.R., a bomb in a body cavity, a missing paramedic, an intern with his hand on the explosive, three world class surgeons in harm’s way, a man on a table who may bleed out at any moment unless we remove the bomb from his chest, and my favorite resident in labor, who you are now telling me refuses to push. Really, Evans, you want me to calm down .”
Evan watches this go down, feeling the need to say something after Dumbeldore loses it on Dr. Evans, “Dr. Macdonald is just scared, Sir, it’s a day to be scared.”
Evans sighs, following Dumbledore as he tries to step away from the conversation, “Her contractions are forty seconds apart, she is refusing to push, she won’t even let me examine her. The baby could into distress, and if she doesn’t come out of this, I mean, and soon, then I’m going to need an O.R. to do an emergency C-Section.”
“I cannot give you an O.R., Lily.” Dumbledore repeats himself, “I don’t have you to give you. Can’t you convince her to push? Macdonald is rational.”
“She’s not Macdonald right now. She is a woman in labor whose boyfriend is in surgery next to a bomb.” Lily yells back. “I need an O.R..”
“I don’t know what to tell you.”
“Look, Albus, we have about an hour to change Mary's mind. And then, I’m going to need you to get me an O.R., build me an O.R., find me a helicopter to fly me to any O.R. in the city. Otherwise, instead of having the baby, she’ll be losing one.” Lily says, exiting the conversation.
Albus sits back in his office, finally getting the floor plans for the hospital.
〚*〛
They’re all sitting ducks right now. The three of them.
Regulus is trying to keep talking so he doesn’t start spiraling, “Is this the strangest thing that’s ever happened in your O.R.?”
Marlene nods, “I’d have to say it is.”
"I hate coming in second, so, that's good."
Marlene nods, "All the best surgeons are competitive, Regulus."
〚*〛
Barty is sitting in the corner of the library, a quiet, dark spot.
Evan is the person who is able to find him, of course.
Their shoulders are touching, Evan’s knee knocking into Barty’s.
“It’s Regulus,” Evan says, “he’ll be okay.”
Barty shakes his head, “We made him come to work and now he has his hand literally on a bomb.” He starts laughing, “I mean, it’s really, I’m sorry, I can’t—I laugh when I get really scared.”
Evan puts an arm around Barty, “We’ll be alright. All of us.”
“Sirius and James are up there. In the other O.R., they are still working. So, at least if the bomb goes off, none of them have to live without the other.”
“That is a weird way of thinking about it.”
Barty leans into Evan’s shoulder, “I am so mad at him for not evacuating.”
“Me too.” Evan holds him.
“I just–”
Evan’s pager goes off.
“I’m sorry,” he pulls away, “I have to go check on Mary. I’ll be back, okay, Barty?”
“It’s fine.” Barty straightened himself up, watching Evan linger at the door, “Seriously, go.”
〚*〛
Evan is standing in Mary’s room, watching her try to breathe, “Dr. Evans just talked to the Chief, they’re all really worried about you.” Mary laughs, sourly. “She’s on the phone with Dumstrang right now, trying to see if they have an O.R. available.”
She looks at Evan, “I need someone to drive me home.”
“They’re talking about doing an emergency C-Section, Mary.”
Normally, she’d scold him for using her first name, saying it’s unprofessional. She doesn’t right now.
“They can talk all they want, I’m not going to Durmstrang, I’m not staying here. I am going home.”
She won’t be rational, Evan’s voice inches louder, trying to get his point across, “You could lose the baby, you know this.”
“I told you already,” she points, “I am not having this baby until tomorrow.”
“The baby could die before it’s even born!”
Mary yells straight back at him, “Can you give me a ride home?”
“Dr. Macdonald-”
“Then get out.”
Evan sighs, leaving the room.
〚*〛
Albus puts his reading glasses on, checking the blueprints when Mindy Carlson interrupts him to ask, “Is there any news?”
Dumbledore turns in his swivel chair, “Mrs. Carlson.” He greets her.
“I hear some of the talk from the doctors, that my husband is losing blood, every second. He could die. I’m asking because I know you will tell me the truth. You look so worried.” She pleads him.
“Mrs. Carlson. . . it is possible he could bleed out and die if we don’t operate soon.” He doesn’t sugarcoat it, he doesn’t lie.
“Okay,” she breaks down, “thank you for telling me the truth. . . I’ll just—I’ll go.”
Dumbledore shouts from the room after Mrs. Carlson leaves, asking his assistant if she knows where the head of the bomb squad is.
“I’m right here,” Dylan Young walks in, vest on his chest. “We are good to go.” He nods, “My team is in place, Dr. Mckinnon is ready, the patient is in stable condition. We can have the bomb out in under ten minutes if I’m not interrupted again.”
Dumbledore stares at him, gravely, “In the O.R., we put our patients under general anesthesia.”
“Yeah?”
“That involves a steady flow of pure oxygen.”
Dylan’s pupils seem to dilate, understanding where this conversation is headed. “Can’t you turn off the oxygen in my O.R.?”
“I can and I have,” Dumbeldore nods, “But. . . this is your O.R.,” he points to the paper, “this is the O.R. floor’s main oxygen line.”
It runs right through it.
〚*〛
Dylan and Marlene are whispering indistinctly at the door, both of them staring at Regulus.
“Can you not?” He says, aloud.
“What?” Mckinnon asks.
Regulus tilts his head, “You two are looking at me like I’m going to freak out at any minute. I’m not a patient. So whatever it is, just tell me straight out.”
Marlene is the one who steps forwards to explain, “The main oxygen line runs directly under this room.”
“Okay?”
Is that supposed to mean something?
“Not okay?”
The dramatic pauses are really throwing Regulus for a loop. He doesn’t understand what this means.
“I need one of you to tell me what that means and why it’s important?” His eyes scan from the surgeon to the bomb squad. “I think I know what it means, but I could be wrong so just please tell me.”
“If the bomb explodes over the oxygen line, the entire hospital could blow up.” Dylan bites the inside of his cheek, “Not just us.” Regulus takes a breath, trying to keep himself together. “Regulus,” Dylan takes a careful step forwards, “all it means is that we have to move.”
“Move?” Mckinnon says, unbelieving. She thought Dumbledore would shut off the main oxygen line, not hope for the best.
“We have to move, and now.” Dylan lowers his voice, “I don’t want to spend another second in this room.”
“I can’t wiggle my fingers because we can’t shift the ammo,” Regulus recalls, “and now you want to roll out the entire gurney.”
Dylan realizes the entire thing sounds ridiculous, “It’s our safest option.”
Safe. Can they even use that word in this situation?
“So we move.” Marlene crosses her arms. “We can do this. It will be fine. You handling this, Black?”
“I’m handling this.” Regulus nods, his heart in his throat.
He definitely should have stayed home today.
〚*〛
Evan finds Lily Evans in the hallway, tapping her fingers against her legs. “Dr. Evans?” He gets her attention, “What are we going to do? About Dr. Macdonald. Can-can we drug her?”
“Against her will?” Evans side-eyes him.
“No. Well. . . yes?” He is pulling at strings now, “Declare her temporarily insane?”
Lily laughs, ironically, “You want me to declare Mary Macdonald—Mary Macdonald—incompetent?”
It’s a horrible, horrible idea, yes. But what other choice do they see? Mary will lose her baby if they do not do something and soon.
“Do you think that will help?” Dr. Evans asks, “You think that will make her more inclined, more comfortable giving birth?”
Evan waves a hand in the air, “I don’t know, that’s why I’m asking you.”
Lily turns her head, “Do you think I’m not doing everything I can to help her? Do you think I’m just out here because I feel a little lazy, need a little me time?”
Evan doesn’t know why he’s being chastised for trying to help, “I was just asking.”
“Stop asking!” Lily roars at him, “Because no matter what you ask, the answer is I don’t know. I’m doing everything I can. Everything I can. Mary Macdonald’s boyfriend is in mortal danger and there’s not a lot I can say to comfort her right now because there’s not a lot anyone can say to comfort me either. My ex-husband and some of my closest friends are up there. I’m scared too, Rosier. I’m doing my best. Dr. Macdonald is doing her best. And I need you to do your best and I need it to be better than standing here, asking me the world’s stupidest questions. I don’t know!”
Evan stares at her a moment longer, not having it in him to scream back.
“My best friend is up there too, you know?” He says, just before turning to walk away.
〚*〛
Barty is walking down the stairs when he hears the faint crying. On the very bottom, in the empty part of the stairwell, he sees the girl.
“Are you bleeding?” He bends down.
She gasps, “I think I fell.”
Barty takes one look at her outfit, “You’re Hannah?”
She looks up at him, nodding, “Yeah.”
He isn’t angry, he doesn’t yell or scream at her, knowing the only reason Regulus’ hand is in there is because she got cold feet. He doesn’t do any of that, he just puts on his doctor voice and asks if he can bandage her hand.
〚*〛
Sirius has finished his part, standing beside James for both moral support and comfort.
That’s when he turns to see the bomb squad through the window.
“What’s so interesting out there, Sirius?” James asks, concerned.
“Hold on, I need to talk to Marlene.” Sirius rips off his gown and pulls the mask down, “I’ll be back, James. Just keep working.”
Through the door, he sees the three of them.
Marlene, Dylan Young, and.
No.
Not Hannah Davies, the young paramedic.
Marlene, Dylan Young, and Regulus.
His little brother.
They are slowly wheeling the patient to a different room.
Sirius is standing there, unable to move for a good four seconds.
Meanwhile, Dylan is going over the plan again, making sure Regulus has it down pat.
“The device is shaped like a rocket. It’s about eight inches long. We are going to have everything ready. Dr. Mckinnon’s team is going to be in place. My team is going to be in place.” Regulus looks down at his hand, at Dylan’s hand on top of his. “Then, I’m going to ask you to take the hand that you have in Mr. Carlson and wrap it around the device.”
“Pull it out, levelly.” Regulus finishes his sentence. “Right.”
Sirius stops in front of the cart, forcing words to come out of his mouth, “What are you doing, Regulus?”
“Stop.” Dylan barks, “Stop right where you are.”
Regulus looks at his older brother.
“What are you doing?” Sirius repeats himself. “Regulus, what are you doing?”
“You should be in your O.R., Dr. Black.” Dylan reminds him.
Sirius looks at the patient, “Why is your hand in there?”
“Go back to Dr. Potter’s O.R. right now, Dr. Black.”
Regulus swallows hard, realizing that James is up here.
James and Sirius.
“You can’t tell him, Sirius. Don’t tell him.” Regulus shakes his head. “We’re moving to an O.R. further away from the oxygen line.”
“Oxygen line-” Sirius huffs, “what? I don’t—Regulus, you were supposed to evacuate.”
“So were you.”
Sirius motions to the door, “We’ve got Mary’s boyfriend on the table. Why? What---Regulus.”
Regulus doesn’t have a reason as to why he didn’t leave when he was supposed to. Just like he doesn’t have a reason as to why he didn’t hit the floor.
Or why he couldn’t tell James he loved him.
Or why he couldn’t let Sirius all the way in anymore.
“Regulus.” Sirius says, dismissing Dylan’s orders to move him out of the way.
“I’m sorry,” Regulus says, “To both of you.” Then he looks back at Dylan and nods, “Let’s keep going.”
Sirius can’t do anything.
Can’t even protect his brother.
When he rejoins James in the room, he has no choice but to lie.
“Is everything alright?” James asks, looking over.
“Yeah,” he whispers, “yeah. They moved to a different O.R. because of the oxygen line. But it’s okay. Everything is okay.”
“Sirius-”
“It’s fine. Keep working so we can get out of here.”
He can’t function. His hands stay behind his back because they are shaking so badly.
Sirius has a photographic memory. Always has. It’s part of the reason he had to spend so much time alone. After being in the army, well, there are just some things he cannot forget.
His mind physically will not let him.
What just happened with his brother?
That was one of them.
〚*〛
Mary is crying on her side, refusing Lily’s instructions.
“Mary, I need you to turn on your back.” Lily places a hand on her shoulder, I need you to push.”
“Leave me alone.”
Lily, ironically wearing a scrub cap with lilies on them, looks at Evan for a moment, “All right, I can’t let her go any longer. I’m going to go tell Albus we need to transfer her somewhere with an O.R..”
Evan gives it one last shot, “Dr. Macdonald, I’m surprised at you. I really thought—this is not how I thought you would do this.”
“Dr. Rosier, I don’t think that-”
Evan is walking over to her bedside, passing Lily. “I truly, I expected more.”
“Evan.” Lily warns him.
He grabs the cool washcloth, pressing it against Mary’s forehead. Lily watches as the intern leans down to meet her eye, one knee on the ground, “You are Dr. Macdonald. You don’t hide from a fight.”
She has her eyes squeezed tight.
Evan puts his hand on her shoulder, “You don’t give up. That’s not you. You’re a doer.” He tells her, “And I know there are a lot of things that we have no control over. But this. . .” Evan lifts her chin up slightly, trying to get Mary to open her eyes, “this you can do. Okay?”
Mary slowly rolls onto her back, nodding. She sits up, clearly in pain.
Evan hops up to sit behind her, letting Mary rest her body against his. She’s panting, letting Lily begin to examine her.
“You’re having a baby, Mary.” Evan says, looking at her.
〚*〛
Dylan Young is standing across from Regulus, Marlene to his side. “We are ready when you are.”
Marlene nods, “I’m good. Regulus?”
Regulus doesn’t look up at anyone, “Yeah.”
“I’m going to extend the wound,” Marlene says, “when I cut, the bleeding is going to intensify. If we are going to save Mr. Carlson, you have to pull the ammo out immediately.”
“But remember,” Dylan points, “remove it while keeping it as level as possible. Nice and easy. No quick movements.”
Regulus understands, “Level.”
“Are you ready?”
He is not.
He feels sick to his stomach, knowing what’s going on.
“I, uh. . . do I have a choice?”
Marlene looks over, “You have to be ready.”
“Then, yeah. I guess I’m ready.”
Marlene grabs the scalpel, Regulus reminding himself to breathe.
〚*〛
James doesn't let Sirius’ weird attitude go unnoticed.
“What’s going on?” He asks, “How is the girl with the bomb?”
Sirius looks at Tucker, “How is he?”
“Almost there.” James answers. “I need suction. And why are you ignoring my question?”
All it takes is one look from James. Not even a full expression, his nose and mouth guarded by a surgical mask. So really, all it takes is his eyes. James just has to look at him and Sirius is word-vomiting.
“It’s Regulus.” He pinches his leg, habit, “The person with the bomb. It’s Regulus.”
James is still.
He’s paralyzed with fear. Much more than he felt before. Regulus is in there.
His Regulus is in the room.
Not even that.
He’s got his hand on an explosive.
James truly thinks he is going to die.
His mind is replaying Sirius’ words, over and over before his body can even have a chance to react to it.
The machine beeps.
Tucker is flatlining.
James can’t save Regulus because Tucker is flatlining.
He was supposed to fix all of this.
He was the one that was going to save everybody.
But he cannot save Regulus because his hand is in a bomb cavity.
He put his hand in a bomb cavity not even twenty-four hours after they went on a break.
The only thing his mind can focus on is the single thought that it is all his fault.
Not Sirius trying to revive Tucker.
Not that they could all die, too.
Not anything; except for Regulus.
〚*〛
Marlene looks at them, “He can go.”
“Regulus,” Dylan holds his hands up, “wrap your hand around the nose cone.”
He does, not even sure if it’s enough.
“Regulus?”
He doesn’t blink. Doesn’t breathe.
Nothing.
“Black?” Marlene tries to get his attention.
Regulus snaps back into himself after a moment, looking around.
〚*〛
“We’re losing him.” Sirius says, nudging James out of the way. “James! Push one of Epi.”
This is something James can do.
He knows how to do this.
He does it.
The Epi alters nothing, “Give me a wet lap!” Sirius shouts, “Roll him on three.”
〚*〛
“Barty, Evan, and Dorcas don’t need to move out of the house. Tell Sirius that.” He blurts, looking at Marlene.
“No.” Dylan shakes his head, “You hear me?”
“You should make sure—make sure they don’t take James’ key, either.” Regulus breathes out. “Just make sure, okay?”
〚*〛
“Okay, Mary, keep go—good.” Lily encourages her, “Push.”
She is out of breath, leaning against Evan completely now, “I’ve got to stop.”
Evan is very positive too, “That was good, Mary, that was very good.” She lets go of his hand for a moment and Evan shakes it out, trying to get it back to life from the numbness he was feeling.
“Are you ready?” Lily looks up at them.
“Okay,” Mary swallows.
〚*〛
“Wide-complex bradycardia.” Sirius mumbles, “Push one more of Epi and one of Atropine.”
James is talking to the patient, “You cannot do this Tucker, come on, come on, come on. You cannot quit on me, Tucker. You cannot quit.”
Sirius wonders if he’s talking to Regulus instead of Tucker.
〚*〛
Marlene looks at Regulus, “His pressure is dropping.”
He’s shaking his head, “This is crazy, Mckinnon, you should go. And you too, Dylan. You all should leave.”
“Nobody is dying today, Regulus.” Marlene tries to get the thought through to his head.
“Regulus, I want you to look at me.” Dylan says, gaining his attention. “I know this is bad, and I know I’m an ass who has been yelling at you all day. So you pretend that I’m not. You pretend that I’m someone you like. Whatever works. But you need to listen to me. Okay?”
He pretends that Dylan is James and for a moment, he really feels like he’s there.
James would tell him he can do this.
That it will be over soon.
His breath is shaky as he begins to move his hand outwards.
“Gently.” Dylan tells him.
He continues, watching his hand come into eyesight, clutching a hunk of metal.
Regulus gets it out completely, his hands steadier than ever before. In the O.R. next to them, Sirius has begun chest compressions on Tucker Jones.
It’s been a while, Sirius refuses to call it, James switching spots with him.
He doesn’t respond.
James refuses to stop, he will not give up that easily.
“Come on, Tucker, come on.”
And it works.
Somehow, it worked.
He’s got a pulse now.
James stops doing compressions, backing away, huffing.
At the same time, Regulus is moving the explosive from his hand to Dylan's, a tear falling down his cheek.
Dylan takes it with both hands, completely steady.
He lets go.
Dylan looks at him, “You did good.”
He slowly begins to back away, working his way to the door.
Mckinnon gets Regulus out of the way, starting to work on Mr. Carlson’s extensive injuries.
Regulus’ feeling never goes away.
He steps towards the door, needing to be able to breathe.
Something he can’t do in this O.R..
“Regulus?” Mckinnon asks, watching him, “Where are you going, Black?”
They are not supposed to leave the O.R.s while Dylan is transporting the bomb to a safer spot.
Regulus is hyperventilating, stepping out of the O.R. to see Dylan at the end of the hallway. He’s not even a foot out the door when he sees the flash of bright red.
His body is thrown back. The power cuts out. Windows are broken, Regulus hits the floor hard.
His ears are ringing.
That’s what he feels before he blacks out.
〚*〛
Sirius hears the explosion, he and James were about to step out of the door when the sound went off.
He feels the floor shake but nothing else.
He can’t feel anything else.
The anesthesiologist stays with Tucker while James and Sirius pushing out the door. He’s glad they still have the surgical masks on because the mist in the air makes him sick.
His eyes are watering two steps out the door.
Sirius pushes over the collateral, James behind him by an inch.
They open the door to Mckinnon’s O.R., where she is working frantically. James thinks he’s going to be sick.
Regulus is not here.
“Marlene, where is he?” Sirius snaps.
She looks up, “Did the—Sirius, did the bomb go off? Is that what that was?”
“Where is Regulus?” James rasps.
She is working, hands busy when she says, “He stepped out of the room. I thought—I thought he went with you.”
James is shaking his head, “No, no, no.”
They step out the door, walking further down the hallway before they see him.
Regulus, knocked out cold, laying on the floor.
Sirius checks his pulse, he’s still alive.
He’s fine.
“He’s fine.”
There’s blood on his face.
Sirius is sitting him up when Regulus coughs, seemingly awake.
“Reggie?” Sirius scans his face.
James is on the other side of his body, too scared to speak.
He blinks a few times before saying anything, “Am I dead?”
“No,” Sirius tilts his head down. “Let’s go, I’ll help you up.”
James doesn’t touch him, holding himself back.
Every second Regulus acts a little stranger, zoning out of consciousness. He’s only staring at his hands, then at the wall, then once at Sirius. He felt like he was invisible, the way Regulus looked right through him.
Sirius takes him to the attending showers, wiping the blood, dust, and dirt off of his face. Regulus is about to collapse, his older brother holding him up.
He coughs, body shaking.
“Come on, I’ll take you home,” Sirius says, Regulus wearing a new pair of blue scrubs Sirius grabbed.
James is standing there, looking like he wants to talk. He’d been waiting the whole time.
Sirius shakes his head, warning him against doing so.
〚*〛
Sirius stops to get him food on the way home, Regulus looks like he needs it. He shoves a burger in his face, telling him to eat.
Regulus, sitting in the passenger seat like a child, looks at his older brother.
His voice is so quiet, “I didn’t mean to scare you, Sirius.”
Sirius shakes his head, “Don’t ever do that again, okay? I won’t forgive you next time.”
Regulus grins for a half-second, still in shock from the events of today.
Sirius had been feeling so guilty for clearing him.
“Will you drive me home?” Regulus asks, swallowing.
It’s almost midnight.
Sirius looks at his brother from where they are parked at the restaurant. “Maybe you should sleep at mine tonight.”
“Sirius,” he makes eye-contact, “I just want to go home.”
Sirius forgot he wasn’t Regulus’ home anymore.
That they are little kids and time has passed and their relationship may never be as it was when they were younger.
The two of them used to sleep in the same bed when things got bad.
Regulus would get so scared and wouldn’t sleep anywhere other than next to Sirius. A trait his older brother welcomed back then.
“Okay, I can do that.” He nods.
The only thing that matters is that Regulus is alive.
He is alive.
He’s alive.
Sirius has to keep reminding himself.
When Sirius drops him off, he calls James.
James’ location is still at the hospital. He picks up the phone, “Sirius? How is he?”
Sirius watches his brother walk through the doors of his house.
“He was different.”
James is biting his fingernails, “Are you at yours?”
“No,” Sirius says, “I wanted to but he wanted to go home. So, I’m just sitting in his driveway right now.”
James needs him too.
He could be there for him.
Sirius likes being useful, maybe that's why it stung when Regulus didn't want him hovering around.
“Right.”
“Hey, James?” Sirius asks, “Can I come over?”
“I’ll meet you at mine, okay?”
He isn’t sure who needs the other more.
〚*〛
Barty ditches Evan from where they are talking in the kitchen to go speak to Regulus. The two of them tried to speak with him earlier but Sirius shooed them away, telling them that they can talk tomorrow and he deserves some time to himself right now. Barty thought that meant he wasn't coming home at all tonight, but here he is. Regulus is walking up the stairs, slowly, trying to get to his own room.
Barty is right behind him, “Reg?”
His head whips around, looking disappointed to see Barty. “Hm?”
Turns out, Barty didn’t have anything planned to say after that. He just looks at Regulus, the two of them in his doorway now.
“Can I come in?”
Regulus shakes his head, “I don’t want to talk to anyone, Barty.”
“I won’t speak.”
“Barty-”
“I just want to be here for you, okay?”
Regulus relents, not having the energy to fight him right now. He lets him in, the two of them pulling under the blankets of his bed.
He is fine, both of them on opposite ends of the bed.
Regulus flips the lamp off, unable to control the emotions that sink him.
Then, they are suddenly both on the same side, Barty crawling over.
Funnily enough, it’s when Barty’s arms wrap around him, he feels like James is here, holding onto him.
Like he never left in the first place.