Blood On My Hands

"You are looking for roommates and you didn't even ask us first?" Evan rolls his eyes, "Nice one, Regulus." 

"It's not that I don't like you guys, but we are together a hundred hours a week, you really want to live together too?"

Dorcas nods, "Better than living in a studio apartment thirty minutes from the hospital." 

Barty eyes him. After the whole surgery debacle, things were awkward. Until he cornered him while Regulus was changing in the lockers. "Regulus?" 

"What?" He'd said, feeling the kind of euphoria that can only be described as a surgical junkie high. 

"I was pissed but I'm over it, we cool?" 

Regulus knows Barty should apologize but he hates this. The long dragged out talks, the feelings, all of it. Instead, he shrugs and nods, "We're cool." 

And that was that. 

It's Regulus' house, one he bought with money from his trust fund after he moved out of his parent's last month. He was hoping finding a roommate meant picking someone quiet who isn't going to bother him. The rest of the interns were more inclined on living with him than Regulus would have predicted. 

"Come on," Evan whines, "Dora went back home and I can't afford to pay for the apartment by myself. Please, Regulus." 

"No." 

"But what if-" 

Macdonald comes rushing over, "Listen up!" They fall in line in front of her, "Black, trauma pager, Meadowes, code team, Crouch, weekend labs to patients, Rosier, you've got sutures. Got it?" 

Dorcas takes a step forward, grabbing her attention, "Macdonald, do you think I could assist you in a surgery today, by any chance?" 

Crouch is not far behind, "If she gets to cut, I want to cut too." 

"Me too," Evan adds. 

Regulus can sense that she's about to yell and shuts up. 

"Stop talking," she shushes them, "every intern wants to perform surgery but your job is to make me happy. You've embarrassed me enough with Rosier flaking out mid-surgery and did I mention, you guys are the most complaining group of people I've ever met in my life? Do your work." 

〚*〛

James is texting Sirius, again. He starts his new job here in a few days and could not be more excited. Before switching hospitals, Sirius was intent on taking a vacation. Needed some time to relax before jumping back into the swing of things. They were college roommates and in the same intern group at Gryffindor General, but separated when Sirius went to do a fellowship overseas in France.

Then, he took a job opening at Hogwarts Hospital, claiming it had nothing to do with the fact James was doing the same. 

He puts his phone away when he sees Regulus standing in the elevator by himself, his scrubs making him look awfully good. "Good morning," he says. "Did you know that Seattle has ferryboats?"

"Yes, James, I live here." 

"Me too, but I had no idea." He sighs, "Ma thinks I work too much and I think I need to get out more, see some more ferryboats." 

The door shut and Regulus finds it unnecessarily hard to breath in here, especially when it's just the two of them. "Don't do that?" 

"Do what?" 

"I'm not going out with you," he decides, rather suddenly. 

"Did I ask you to go out with me," James makes a face, then relents, "why? Do you want to go out with me?" 

"I'm not going to." He says, "And I'm definitely not going to sleep with you again." 

"Shame." 

"You're my boss."

"You're my student." He says, "But barely younger." 

Regulus has been thinking about that, "How old are you?"

"Twenty-nine." 

"I'm twenty-seven." 

"How does that work?" He makes a face, "How are you an attending?" 

James turns to look at him, "Skipped first and second grade, then got promoted directly after my fellowship." 

"Whatever," Regulus rolls his eyes. So what? He's smart. Of course he is. He's a neurosurgeon. It's not like the fact that he's basically a genius pisses Regulus off. Because it doesn't. It does however make him a tiny, itty-bitty more attractive. "Look, I'm drawing a line. The line's drawn." 

"Is it an imaginary line?" James fully turns, their faces close. 

Regulus can't believe he's doing this. Dropping the charts on the ground to step forward, meeting James' mouth. He's so hot, Regulus can't help it. James slips his tongue in, catching the interns body in his own. His hands slid to the small of Regulus' back, pushing him forwards enough so that he can deepen the kiss. 

Regulus' hands are in James' hair, pulling as they hear the elevator ding, ripping himself backwards. 

Kneeling down to pick up the charts, Regulus pushes past the nurse and doctor who are trying to step in, leaving James in the dust. His hand touching his lips, smile big and broad. 

〚*〛

James finishes looking at the scans for Allison Barnes, scrubbing in for a busted aneurysm. Another attending is scrubbing in right next to him. He's taller than James, his hands, although covered in soap and water, are littered in scars. 

"Hi, I'm James Potter, I don't believe we've met before." 

The guy begins to dry his hands, "Remus Lupin, head of plastics."

Not what he was thinking he was going to say. He looks a little too rugged, a little too tough to be doing that. 

"Nice to meet you," James takes a towel, "you like plastics?" 

"It's my job." 

"Right, cool." 

Sometimes when he's meeting new people, James feels like a kid again. The one who never really fit in. Two years younger and a lifetime apart, it felt like. Nobody really liked him in school. Like his mother said, it was good to be yourself. And James tried. He was outgoing and extremely talkative. Could hold a conversation with anyone, even at a young age. As he grew up, he learned that wasn't a talent. That people didn't like the chatty ones. He grew to be a little quieter because it made him a little more liked. 

He liked to be liked. 

While in college, he learned that it's not the quantity of friends you have by your side, but the quality. Enter, Sirius Black. They got along immediately. They both were happy people. Sirius never talked about his past, or very little of it on the rare occasion he was properly drunk. This made James feel okay about not talking about his past, about the bullies or the childhood hardship he kept tucked deep down at the bottom of his heart.

Then, times like this. Where he meets someone and all of those old feelings come whizzing back up. 

Remus doesn't speak again, walking straight to the O.R. to begin dissecting the burn on this girl's arm.

〚*〛

Dorcas is rubbing it in Barty's face that her tasks for the day is so much better than delivering labs. 

"I'm saving lives, Crouch, you're sorting papers. How do you feel?" 

"Like I want to stick a scalpel in my neck, does that make you feel better?" He groans. "You know, enjoy it. This is going to take me all day and you-" 

"Maybe if you stopped talking, it wouldn't." Macdonald stops in front of him. "This is Mulciber, reassigned to our group now that Rosier is out. Meadowes, have him trail you for the day, show him how things are done. My way." 

She leaves, Mulciber looking at them. 

All of the sudden, Dorcas and Barty are on the same team. "Where's that scalpel at now?" She sighs. 

"I called dibs." 

Dorcas rolls her eyes, leaving the room while Mulciber follows behind her. Barty takes all of his paperwork and heads to the basement, hoping he can get as much done as soon as possible. 

〚*〛

Dumbledore, Chief of Surgery, is sitting in the office. Mckinnon finally goes on her lunch break to talk to him. She's been needing to do it from the minute James Potter stepped in this hospital and she's finally ready. 

"So, it's my understanding that you bribed Potter to come to Hogwarts, made him an offer he couldn't refuse?"

"I knew his parents," Dumbledore signs something, keeping it moving. 

"He left Manhattan because you asked." 

"Marlene," he sets his glasses down, "I'm not retiring yet." 

"Chief of surgery is mine. How many times have we had this conversation? It's mine." 

"It was yours, now I'm not so sure." He puts it simply. 

Marlene scoffs, "I am the best surgeon here. I have the lowest mortality rate of anybody and I've been here since I was an intern, Albus. An intern." 

"Ask me why I am not sure, Marlene, ask me why?" 

She shakes her head, unwillingly. "Fine." She relents, moments later, "Tell me why." 

"I want to know when you stopped thinking of me as your number one." 

"Marlene," he sighs, "you are comfortable. You do as much as needed and not a bit more. It doesn't impress me. Somewhere along the line, you stopped putting full effort and so I brought James in. It's up to you to decide whether you're going to fight for my job with him or not."

〚*〛

"What are you doing down here?" Barty asks, looking at Regulus.

"Break." He answers, "I kissed James." 

Barty won't tell. 

"You kissed James?" 

"In the elevator." 

"Oh, you kissed James in the elevator." 

Regulus slouches a bit more, "I was having a bad day." 

"This is what you do on your bad days, make out with your boss?" 

"What do you do on your bad days?" Regulus asks him, waiting for a response. 

Barty shrugs, "The same with sex." 

"Stay away from Potter then," Regulus snaps. 

"I intend to." Crouch says, "Neuro doesn't do it for me." 

"What does?" 

Barty thinks for a moment, twirling the pen in his hand, "I've got my eye on someone else." 

"Who?" 

"You'll see," Barty quips, watching as Dorcas and Evan walk in. 

And Mulciber? 

Why is Mulciber here? 

"You know," Regulus says, "this is an invite only basement party." 

"He's under Macdonald now." Dorcas says. 

Mulciber cackles, "I wish I was under Macdonald." 

"You're fucking disgusting," Evan looks at him, "this is why we hate you?" 

"You don't even know me." 

"And that's enough for us to hate you." Regulus adds, watching as Evan sits next to Barty, oddly close. 

Dorcas sits on Regulus' side and makes sure she's far enough that there isn't any room for Mulciber to join them. 

"Cause you're all so fucking perfect." He sulks to the vending machine. 

The four of them sit there, debating on the best way to make the shift go a little bit quicker. It's Dorcas who interrupts the silence to ask, "Regulus, are you going to let us live with you?" 

Regulus stands up, "Well, this was fun for a minute." 

"Come on," Evan says, "I'm clean. I know how to bake." 

Dorcas nods, "We will be good." 

"I can't promise that, actually," Barty confesses. Evan elbows him in the ribs, annoyed. "but I will try!" 

Regulus walks up the stairs, then pauses and turns around. He hates himself for this already, completely certain he is going to change his mind almost immediately. "You guys can live with me." And walks away fast enough that none of them will try to hug him. 

In the on-call room, he barges in to see James Potter, lying in the bed. 

"Regulus, hi." He yawns, "We always seem to run into one another." 

"We work in the same hospital, James." Regulus locks the door, sneakily. Just in case. James doesn't even notice. "And what happened to your glasses?" 

James looks surprised he even noticed, "I don't wear them at work." 

"Just at the bars?"

"Lot of personal questions, Regulus. So what? We're kissing but not dating?" 

Regulus steps closer to his bed, looking down at James who hasn't moved an inch since he walked in. He's shirtless, not bothering to wear one while he sleeps. His deep-brown hair is curly and unruly. Not something you would expect for a surgeon of his status. Regulus folds his arms over his chest, "I knew you would want to talk about the elevator." 

"Don't get me wrong, I like the kissing," James says, "I'm all for the kissing. More kissing, I say." 

"It was a mistake." 

James scratches his head, "Well, are you planning to make any more mistakes again soon? Because you know, if so, I am going to keep the breath mints stocked. Maybe put a condom in my wallet." He winks, laughing. 

"Are you always this cheerful?" 

"Definitely." James licks his lips, "Are you always this bossy?" 

"I'm not bossy." 

"You are." James raises his eyebrows, "Bossy is hot though." 

He cannot believe James sometimes, "I'm finding a different room to sleep in." 

"When you can sleep in my bed?" James frowns. 

"Absolutely." 

〚*〛

Regulus wakes up to the sight of Evan staring at him. For a moment, he forgot that he left the hospital, barely awake when his shift had ended in the middle of the night. Evan has a mug of coffee in his hand, watching Regulus while he sleeps.

Regulus rolls over, pulling the blanket over his body, "What the fuck, Evan?" 

"Barty's room is bigger than mine," he tells him. 

Regulus moves past him, making his way to the bathroom before slamming the door behind him. "Yeah, I regret it." He nods. 

Barty opens the bathroom door, barging in, wearing only his boxers.

"Seriously?" Regulus leans over the sink, "You know when I said you guys could move in, you said you were going to be good." 

Barty shakes his head, reaching for the toothbrush, "Don't recall that." 

Regulus debates on kicking them out, then decides not too when Barty claps him on the back, "Good news, Reggie, Dead Bird Bike Race is today." 

Dead Bird Bake Race an annual underground bike race. Totally illegal and totally crazy. Winner gets free drinks for a year. No rules at all. Basically means that the interns are going to spend all day working in the pit. 

Regulus ditches brushing his teeth, getting straight into his car. The quicker he can get to the hospital, the better patients he can get. 

The rest of them follow close behind, no surprise. 

Macdonald gives them a run down but leaves to join a surgery with Mckinnon. The interns are like free birds, learning to fly. As fun as it is, it's a motherfucking disaster. 

Regulus gets to a patient, barbs sticking out of his abdomen while he has blood dripping from his forehead. In this moment, he is so glad he had roommates. Especially Barty, who reminded Regulus of his favorite day of the year. 

The best part about getting there early enough means that he gets his pick for patients. Scanning the room, he needs a patient who is badly injured, whilst not on the brink of death. His eyes catch on a younger male, wearing a black t-shirt with metal barbs poking through his skin.

Regulus walks directly towards him, claiming him as his patient. 

While he's working on suturing up the man, his patient speaks, "You've got a gentle touch. I like that in a man." 

Regulus has been out for a while, although not to his parents, he still is surprised when men openly flirt to him. He looks up, momentarily, "Do you actually believe you a shot here?" 

"Mhmm." 

"Look, I need to run some tests, make sure nothing else is wrong." 

"No can do," he shakes his head, inching it closer to Regulus' face. "I've got a finish line to cross. There's a party there, do doctor's party? If so, you can meet me there." 

Regulus ignores that, "One test. It'll take an hour." 

"No can do." He stands up. 

"You're leaving against medical advice, you realize that right? You'll have to sign a form, Alex." Regulus has a bad feeling about this, him leaving without knowing for sure that he's alright. 

"Oh, Dr. Black," he reads his I.D., "I'm quite sure." 

Regulus hands him the form, "Here." 

He signs it, looking him up and down. All in all, the biker isn't unattractive. Definitely not anything Regulus would ever go for. Alex hands it back to Regulus, who is looking it over when Alex's hands grab Regulus face and kiss him on the cheek. 

"That was for good luck." 

Regulus, completely embarrassed, face red, watches him walk out the door. 

Someone else walks right in. James Potter. 

"You're kissing patients now?" 

Regulus rolls his eyes, "What, are you jealous?" 

James says, "no," but clearly means yes. He's standing there, his broad shoulders stiff and his face turned into something Regulus has never seen before. It's definitely jealousy. Maybe he should've kissed Alex on the mouth, just to piss him off. 

"We had sex, one time." He says, as if James had forgotten. 

"And we kissed in the elevator," he adds, making sure Regulus remembers. Which he does, it replays in his mind when he can't sleep. Over and over. 

"One time." 

James stands right in front of him, "Fine. I'm jealous. Whatever. Will you just go out with me?"

"Get over yourself." 

"Get under myself." He counters. 

Regulus tears the paper down, changing it for the next patient who comes in the exam room. "Is it the chase? The thrill of the chase. Is that why you want to go out with me so bad? Because honestly, Potter, I really don't get it. You know you're my boss and it's against the rules, on top of the fact that I've already declined about ten times now." 

"Sure, it's fun. Among other things." 

"I am not going to be the guy who sleeps his way to the top." Regulus shoves past him, leaving James in the room by himself. 

〚*〛

Mulciber, still in his scrubs after somehow piggybacking his way into assisting a surgery with Macdonald, comes up behind Regulus in the locker room. "Heard you were getting around in the pit today, in more ways than one." 

Regulus is having a shit day and he doesn't need Mulciber's problems on his back now too. In retaliation, Regulus grabs his wrist twisting it back. He palms the front of Mulciber's scrubs, pushing him back until they hit a locker. "Listen up, I have more important things to deal with than you. You want to act like a little frat boy bitch, then that's fine, you want to take credit for saves that weren't yours, that's fine too. Just stay out of my face, and for the record, you look like shit, Mulciber." 

Mulciber is laughing when the door opens, James standing there in jeans and a sweater. He must be leaving for the day. Mulciber clearly thinks that Potter is about to reprimand Regulus for this. 

Regulus, upon James walking in, let's Mulciber go. Walking away from him and back to his own locker, fighting the urge to slam his head against the metal door. 

That's when Mulciber looks at James and pouts, "He attacked me." 

Regulus is a flash of movement, trying to get his hands on Mulciber again. James is quicker, stepping in between them to stop any fighting from breaking loose. "Regulus," he huffs, pulling him away from the tussle. Regulus relents, after a few seconds, eyes shooting daggers at James while his hands leave from where they were planted on Regulus' shoulders. He gestures his hands up, asking Regulus to stay wait one moment. 

James turns around, pushing his tongue at his cheek, "You might want to leave before I change my mind and let him beat you to a pulp, Mulciber." 

Mulciber can't believe it, his face contorting into anger when James pushes him out of the room and slams the door. Sighing, he turns to Regulus, who is grabbing his keys from his locker. 

They stare at each other for a moment. 

"What?" James asks, expression unreadable.

"Nothing." He shakes his head, pausing, "It's just. . ." another moment passing, "it's nothing." 

This time when he walks out, James holds the door open. 

〚*〛

Alex is in the pit again when Regulus sees him. He's delirious, unsure of himself. 

"How long has he been in here?" He asks Mulciber.

"Don't know." 

"Of course you don't." Regulus isn't even surprised. He is waiting for the day Mulciber gets thrown out of the program. He might even throw a part when that happens. Invite everyone he's ever pissed off; although Regulus wouldn't have enough if that were the case. 

He's coughing up blood, his organs about to burst out from the inflammation on his sutures. Regulus gets him on a gurney, having to climb up on the bedding and practically straddle the dude to stop the bleeding.

"I don't know how long I can keep this wound closed," he tells him. 

Macdonald is in the O.R. waiting for them. "Get off of my patient Black, and go scrub in." 

He's worried, to say the least. Alex was one of the better patients and now he might die. 

Fuck. 

〚*〛

James is sitting in the attending locker room, checking his phone when Mckinnon, the cardio legend at Hogwarts, looks at him. "Do you spend every hour on your phone?" 

"Sorry," he sets it down, "Marlene, right?" 

"Yeah, James?" 

"Yeah." He nods. "What's up?" 

"I was wondering if you wanted to join us for drinks tonight." She offers, "Me, Lupin, Pettigrew, and Macdonald." 

"Really?" James asks, trying to play it cool. In the back of his mind, he's already panicking about what to wear and how badly this could go. It's almost seven, they get off soon. "I'd love to."

"Perfect." Marlene lets her hair out of the blonde braid it was in, "Meet you there at eight." 

James is left alone, looking at his watch. He has enough time to go find Regulus. He wanted to check up on him earlier but found out he was pulled into a surgery. Since he has plans tonight, for the first time since he moved from New York to Seattle, James is relieved. He feels better, like okay! Maybe everybody doesn't hate him. 

He should go tell Regulus. 

The attending locker room is empty, as is intern one. Regulus has been working overtime. Most of them already left.

James wanted to say this yesterday but things got a little distracted when he practically peeled Regulus off of Mulciber. He begins talking as soon as the door is shut, not wanting to wait long enough that he backs out of saying it at all. 

"It's not the thrill of the chase, Regulus," he stuffs his hands in his pockets, "and it's definitely not a game. It's. . ." he steps forwards until he is directly in front of him, "it's you. Your personality. And your hair." 

"My hair?" Regulus bites back a smile. 

"It smells good." He shrugs, "And you're so very bossy. Even sometimes a little bit mean. But it keeps me in line." James is staring at Regulus' lips, eyes trailing to look at his eyes. They are beautiful.  A shade of blue so light they almost look silver. Somehow the perfect combination for the pale skin and jet-black hair. 

Regulus looks to the side to buy a moment to think, then says, "I'm still not going out with you." 

"You say that now." James turns his head, adjusting the glasses on his face, "Bye, Reg." 

He's out the door before he finally spits out, "It's Regulus."