II
The clock was ticking and Regulus was infinitly aware of it, each tick reverberated on his ears, making him dizzy. Every day that passed made him even jumpyer. Fortunatly he was good at masking it, most of the time he was.
He was waiting for James to arrive, the cold wind tangeled his hair, he almost regreted now, that he had accepted to tutor James. It was the pefect excuse to interact with him, and he hated that he liked that, wished for it. James' footsteps sounded loudly as he climed the staires, Regulus took a big breath and looked at the sky, this is why he didn't do nice things, it always came back to bite him in the ass.
-Hey Reg! -James called as he sat next to him, a bright simle streached throughout his whole face.
-I told you, it's Regulus for you.
-Hi James, lovely to see you, how are you? -He mocked, Regulus' face didn't crack, at that James huffed a luagh and grabbed his book. -Alright then, Regulus, where do we start?
Regulus took his own journel out and begun explaining different potions and techniques to him, he had James' complete attention, his eyes tracking every hand movement while Regulus rambled about ingridents and ways of mixing. James didin't dare interupt him, but did asked question when it the subject applayed to his approching exam. Time float by, the sky turned darker and darker, it was getting late and James was starting to feel the letargy of tiredness.
-Sorry, I'm exhausted, could we continue tomorrow?
-Okay, but no more, I have other things to do, and you do not interest me, Potter, not at all.
-What? Why not? I believe I am an interesting person, ask anyone else. -James replayed. The both of them going down together, James behind Regulus as the continue on the corridor.
-I don't care for anyone else, nor I care what you think.
-You're really mean to me.
-So you keep saying. -Regulus kept walking toward the stairs, his head held high, face blank. James trailing at his side now, chatting happyly, each conversation with Regulus, no matter how short or one sided it might be, had started to be something he looked foward. All day he had been anxiously waiting for the time to accelerate so he would meet his to study. Regulus' apathetic face didn't bother or repeld him, at the contrary he wanted to know what he was hidding, being Siruis' best frind had givien him insights on how both brothers reacted to certain situation.
From the moment Sirius presented his baby brother at the compartement on the train, on second year, James had been astonished by hiw similar they looked, and how opposit they behaved, with the passing of the years James started to undersatnd the flasehood in such statement, one the brothers lived by. Contraty to their believes, they shared some obvious traits when the issue was about the other or their complicated relationship. To Sirius, Regulus was an off limit subject. Beneath his resentment and anger at his brother, there was an endless love and guilt.
The night Sirius apparated to the limit of his house, with blood running on his leg, his always perfect hair, sweaty and stuck to his forhead, his eyes... James would never forget the fear in those eyes, the pain, tears mixed with blood around his mouth. He was sobbing uncontrolably, he kept mumbling about his mother and Regulus. After Effie and Monty treated his wounds and carefully guided Sirius to a room, James wonder where was Regulus. He knew Regulus usually took care of Sirius' injurys, but this time was so bad, so horrible, he couldn't understand why he wasn't also there. Days later, once the mental wounds stopped bleeding, after hours in bed crying with James, and eventually Peter and Remus too, he opend up and told them about what happend. The stroy was long and messy, Sirius stumbled on his words and couldn't get the correct order of his memories, half way through he started trembling, Effie right there to get him through the pain of being crucioed again. Once he had finished the fire was dead, and nobody spoke a word. The only thting that stopped him form going to Grimmuald place himself to kill Walburga and get Regulus out was Siruis' wailing.
When they returned to Hogwarts and Regulus was colder than ever, watching Sirius when he was not looking and imidiatly seeming angry that he even looked, James knew there was something that happend that Sirius missed. For a month he tried to convinced his friend to talk to Regulus, but Sirius denied every oportunity. Then he trailed Regulus, to see if it were possible to talk to him, only to be met with a wand on his throat and endless threats. Thats the forst thing James noticed to be equal, the were both very defensive on the subject, and eventhough Regulus tended to be quiet and reserved, under a violent situation they would both plan for and attack, always. Sirius, was indeed, much louder and impulsive about it, but the same menacing sparkle would lit their eyes.
-Are you going to follow me down to the dungeons? -Regulus said almost exasperated, James stopped in his tracks and nearly fell to the hole the moving stair had just created.
-Well, eh, no.
-Then go to the entrance of the Gryffindor tower, that's down this hall.
-Right, yes. -James spoke distractedly, there was a window by Regulus' side that refelected on his eyes lovingly, the greyish light of the moon only elevanted the blue hidden in them. -There's a little blue in your eyes. -To that Regulus did seem startled. He blinked and opend his mouth as if to speak but nothinng came out. Red blushed his cheeks and his ears, and James was delighted to get a reaction form him, besides a sarcastic replay or and annoyed face.
-I'm. I'm going. Yes, I'm going. -With nothing more, Regulus turned back and left, the difference this time was that James' laughter had cut as he entered through the portrait before Regulus even step in the stairs.
Regulus tears his eyes up from the words he was reading, it was a muggle book. They were really good, muggle art, he found, was different than wizard art. Muggles romantized more, and tried so very much to find magic and arcaic mysteries, that their description was always more devolped and amazing than what the wizards, who knew magic all their lives, ever could. Of course anythign muggle made was prohibited in his house, the slight mention of one of this books would grant Regulus a pleasent round of beatings from Walburga. And one day, Pandora just handed one of this books to him without saying anything, at first he was apprehensive, how could he not? All thoughout his childhood he has been told that muggles are a threat to magic and an infiror race, why would their literature be worth a while? But thank Merlin he gave it a try. In every book he read he found life, even in the most sad and depressing. They bled ink into his hands and he smudged it on all his available skin. Letting it settle until he was made and re formed by this language and passion Regulus had consumed.
Barty and Evan are looking at his funny, giggling, pressing his lips as if to hold the laughter that was still getting out. There was a lost look on their eyes, and imidiatly Regulus could tell they were stoned. The sun was behind them, halos of light brightening Evans blone hair and Bartys' pircings.
-Really? We still have charms and divination.
-Well... -Evan started, but then just shrugged and laughed, hidding his face in Bartys shoulder.
-Let's skip, Please Reg, come on.... let go to our room and... talk -Barty pleaded him, actually finishing the sentence took him a lot. Which was wierd, for he wasn't usualy this inept while high. then he noticed how Evans face was still against his neck, and Bartys finger playing with his hair. Regulus rolled his eyes, but a foind smile threatend to crawl over his face.
-Is there some left? -He asked.
-Yes! -Evan exclaimed.
Regulus got up, and started walking towards the castle, mid walk he turned aroung to his friends who were still standing in front of the tree Regulus had been reading against.
-Are you coming or not? Merlin, how much did you smoke, you look even more idiotic than your usual. Do Pandora and Dorcas know?
-Already there. -He continued on his path, not minding that neither of his friends had reached him. Barty and Evan still murmered and giggled at his back. walking throught thr castle to get to their rooms was a mess of laughter and pushing and sighing, when they saw snape walking a corridor oposit to them, both Evan and Barty stoppe and salut him like the muggle military does, how they have that knowleadge is beioned him.
On his bed pandora sat playing with her finger, creating little sparks of light and trails of sparkiling fog, Dorcas giggled and tried to touch it, only for it to disappear, turning into nothing once more. Wandless magic was something they were working together for a while now, Pandora was increadibly gifted at it, Reglus maneged to lit things with blue-flamed fires, and move all the furniture in the room at once, Barty and Dorcas, to both their disapointments hadn´t mange to do anything, Evan as his sister was gifted, contrary to Pandoras magic, something spectacuar and beatiful, in the more childish of senses, it smelled sweet and enchanted you like a sirens chanting, you craved to follow it. It suited her, it had the same crazy sparkle as her eyes; Evans was more water like. It moved quickly and seemed harmless until you were close enough to really feel it, while practising wandless magic, Evan had closed his eyes and all the air had stopped moving, freezed like ice. Dorcas normal magic was absolutly terrenal, a force to be reckoned with, you never doubted her, for the energy in her gaze coud make anyone quiver, her defesive moves were ones of the most powerful Regulus hed ever seen, disarming you she could throw you across the room, the ground would tremble as if it also knew, Dorcas was someone you sholdn't cross. Regulus had always thought of Bartys magic as elecrtical, when he pronucend any spell the air would charge with a pulsating energy, on the most stronge spells he coud make your skin tingle. It was a lighting bolt, so much energy containg in a deadly, singular word.
-Did you left any for me?- He asked them, they giggled and Dorcas passed him the joint. Regulus wasn't a fan of smocking pot, he would spirle for he could feel his control and his masks slowly melting through his fingers.Sometimes, the bad times, were he had just come back they would all get high and usually, they had all learned by now, after the last few times, Evan, Barty, Dorcas and Pandora would smoke less. Because Regulus was decompressing, and that left him mumbling, scared, against a wall, trying to rn hem to leave, hopeing with all his might the would undersantd and left him too, so he coud bare it. Becase it was his time to do it. They would comfort him as much as the could, but they were left juggling with more they could actually could deal with, exlaing to Regulus that Walburga wasn´t coming. And then, in the mornng, they wouln't speak of it. And the next time they would get high, Regulus smoke less, and teh rest would be calm knowing he had their backs.
He inhaled a few times and gave it back. This, once in a while, he could allow himself, a little freedom, to releasse the tight rpe on his neck for a while. To let sounds blend and colors highlight and not be worried about it.
They skipped charms and divinations, and he couldn't care any less about it.