Blame it on the Black Star

I try to stay awake, but it's 58 hours

Since that I last slept with you

What are we coming to?

I just don't know anymore

Blame it on the black star

SiriusBlack

December 18, 1998 

Sirius felt numb, the cold whipped against his long curly hair causing him to stumble back and forth.

Now what

Where would he go? 

Who would he go to? 

He had nothing, no friends, no family, oh god those words felt bitter in his mouth.

Family

God Reg was right, he should have never left, never, but what should he do now, go back? 

No even if he wanted to Sirius couldn't go home, he physically couldn't move his feet backwards. 

So with one last look back, he began to trek forward unsure of where he would go, what he would do 

3 Hours Later

YOUR A PUSSY 

There it was again that stupid voice that had haunted each step he took, Sirius had heard it all his life to be fair but never like this, this time it would not let him go, it would not let him rest until he was lying dead on the cold, hard, snow.

"Shut up" Sirius murmured.

You didn't stop them, you know that right, what was even the point of running Siri, you still have blood on your hands, we all know it, and you know what's funny Siri no matter how many times you wash your hands, 

it'll still be there

and hell waits for none Black 

"Stop, stop, shut up" Sirius felt hot daggers prick the corners of his eyes. Shit, he couldn't let it win, he just couldn't, so continued to walk as every bone in his body ached and moaned pleading him to just lie down. 

So run Siri, run, run as fast as you fucking can, i'd love to see you try.

Sirius lit up, his Mother, god he was never going to get away from her, she lay in his head, whispering into his ears, she had been since he was a kid, but he thought that maybe if he ran fast enough her voice would fade off into the distance and return back home.

But Sirius should've known better than to think he could ever run that fast, he would never get away from home, from his family, not only was it his name, but it was his blood, his birthright,

Sirius would always bleed Black and that was that.

Sirius slowly felt each of his bones begin to give out and he felt as he slowly collapsed onto the icy snow, he could no longer go on there was no point. So he lay there in the cold, biting, snow and in a pathetic attempt to comfort himself he curled up in a tightly wound ball, and clung to himself as if his body were a lifeline somehow able to pull him up. He felt as sobs began to rack his body, he was pathetic. Sirius realized in that moment that this was his final hour, he was dead, he wanted to be dead after all there was nowhere else to go.

Hell waits for none Siri

He let his tears run long and hard, the tears were hot which would have felt good in the cold two hours ago but now, he no longer cared, he was practically a dead man at this point, there was no use in trying to stop it. 

And that was it, Sirius began to close his eyes, immersing himself in darkness, it was almost comforting. And as he felt his brain slowly come to a stop, finally silencing for the first time in maybe his whole life. As he slowly allowed himself to rest.

And suddenly there was light, it was a nice light, one that he could bathe himself in, and there was a voice it was harsh yet somehow sweet and warm like the light.

Maybe? 

He wasn't sure maybe it was just in his head, actually it was most definitely in his head. 

So instead he focused all of his brain power on the light that beautiful, soft, kind light. And as it got closer he became completely immersed in it.

Suddenly he felt something within him bubble up and release itself and he began to feel an overwhelming sense of joy, so much so that he began to cry, everything inside him felt numb and this light it was... kind, kind when none else had been, welcoming despite everything, it welcomed him. 

The Next Day 

Sirius slowly began to open his eyes attempting to adjust to the somewhat bright lights that surrounded him, wait.

How was he awake?!

Sirius jolted up and was immediately welcomed with a jolt of pain that shot through his neck. 

"You're... OH MY... MY GOODNESS BOY!" 

Sirius turned startled by the noise and practically leapt out of his skin. 

As he turned around he saw a somewhat elderly looking lady, she looked to be around her sixties or such. She had a soft yet stern looking face. 

"I..."she fumbled around her words "My god... excuse my language... but you my dear boy gave me quite the scare, I mean you've been asleep for days I thought I was housing a dead man" the woman seemed to be Scottish and quite frightened too. 

"I.." Sirius could barley talk, his throat was scratchy and nearly dead. "I'm sor-"

"Hush"

The woman said crouching down to him and putting her hand on his forehead and pushing back his hair. "Your safe, its ok" her voice was soothing and warm like...

Like a Mum

Sirius just sat there stunned he felt hot tears beginning to fall fast, and suddenly his entire face was wet, yet all he could do was stare at her. 

Safe, he was safe

The woman looked at him, her face absent of any judgment, she smiled softly "Let me get you some tea my child, my names Minerva, but you may call me Ms. Mcgonagall alright" 

Sirius looked up at her weakly and nodded, with that she gave him a quick smile of reassurance and headed off into the kitchen to prepare his cup of tea. 

Don't get to comfortable, she'll find out who you are sooner or later, and then its over for you Blac-

"Here you go deary" The woman- 

Ms. Mcgonagall had come back with his tea, and she had brought some cookies.

As they ate, Sirius knew what was coming the question that was bound to come.

"Why were you out there?" 

But it never came instead she asked him if he needed a room and when he nodded she lead him upstairs to a small attic room and began to sew him some clothes. 

And as she did all this Sirius just sat there stunned, why was she doing this?

He didn't deserve this, she probably thought he was some poor orphan living on the streets.

"I'm not..." Sirius fumbled about with his words, they felt heavy in his mouth "You shouldn't do this... for me"

Mcgonagall turned and looked him up and down "Don't be ridiculous dear, you were going to die out there, and I don't know who you are, or where you came from but I know if you were willing to die in that snow right there it must not have been good so you WILL stay here, mark my words, boy, you do not want to cross me" She wriggled her finger menacingly, which made Sirius smile perhaps for the first time in months.

"And I will also have you working at my shop, I could use the extra hand, now rest for now my boy, you need it" 

She handed him some fresh clothes and left him there, alone, the attic was very cozy, it had lace curtains, plants almost everywhere you could see, how she kept them all alive Sirius had no idea, that woman was magical. And off to the side there was his bed along with a sewing machine and an antique lamp which kept the room ablaze. 

Maybe... maybe he could stay here. 

Maybe this could be his...

Home

He crashed into his bed

And smiled as dreams of homemade cookies, antique lamps, and tea floated in and out of his mind.