In Which Hermione is Calm, Collected, and Convincing
“Okay,” Hermione responded, unphased and unbothered.
“Okay?!” Ron shouted.
“Hermione!” Harry exclaimed, baffled
“Oh shut it you two. What other option do I have? Hmmm. Enlighten me,” Her voice was even but the boys could tell she was a step away from hexing them both. She turned to the headmaster, “I have one condition.”
“Anything, my dear,” Albus twinkled indulgently.
“Either give me an aging potion or a de-aging potion to Professor Snape. I won’t have him walking about looking like a cradle robber just to keep me alive,” Hermione said confidently, eyes focused on the Headmaster.
“Miss Granger I will, by fact, be a cradle robber. Even if you look older you are still 19 years my junior!” Snape scowled.
“I rather like her idea. I would suggest a de-aging potion but we must ensure that it is permanent,”
“Permanent de-aging is impossible.”
“Not necessarily,” Hermione said before conjuring up a dusty notebook and flipping it open. “Do you remember the age line at the Triwizard cup? The twins asked me to come up with something to help them trick the line. I figured it out but I didn’t tell anyone. I figured I could market it as a ‘fountain of youth’ once I graduate. Residuals would keep me wealthy the rest of my life,” Hermione smiled
Severus took the book and read through the notes…”If you weren’t so bloody self-sacrificing Miss Granger I would think you were a Slytherin. You’ve literally created a way to live forever and you just keep it locked away in a notebook?”
“I considered destroying it, but like I said, a few modifications and it would be a sought after anti-aging potion.” Hermione smiled at her professor, which made him slightly uncomfortable. The look in her eye was predatory, “I imagine bringing you back to…30…no 25 would be a more acceptable age difference while maintaining your physical capabilities and magical prowess. Of course people will wonder what happened but we can say a potions mishap. Don’t want Voldytwat to think Snape is keeping something like this from him.”
Severus was intimidated, “Miss Granger, Hermione, I believe I have to grant you my thanks.”
“For what Professor?”
“For choosing to fight for the light. Someone as smart as you going evil would be the end of the world as we know it.” Severus deadpanned.
“I will take that as a compliment. Now what do you say, Severus, would you like to get married?”
“Hermione, what the hell are you saying? What about me, about us?” Ron looked mortified.
“And what about you Ronald? Was I just supposed to wait while you dipped your tongue and dick into a legion of other girls?’
“Hermione, we are meant to be together!”
“HA, Im more meant for fred than you out of all the weasleys ron. Could you imagine trying to celebrate the world cup while I want to talk about some potions conference or politics? Be real with your future Ron.”
“She’s right Ron”
“Harry!”
“Ron! This is Hermione we are talking about. She’s made up her mind. Frankly, you wouldn’t be able to handle her. Snape has a fighting chance.”
“Hey!”
“Hermione, you have zapped us with your hair for teasing you. IF you and ron got into a row while bonded, he could spontaneously combust. At least Snape can defend himself,”
“That’s fair,” Ron said finally calming down,”I’d rather not be killed by errant magic.”
“So its settled then?” Albus twinkled like the north star
“I haven’t agreed to anything!”
“Well get on with it, Severus! Will you marry me or not?”
“Fine. I’ll marry you.”