Life Behind

August 28th, 1995

Harry glanced up as the server brought his fizzy drink and Sirius’ beer to the table. He’d never been in such a posh restaurant, only ever glimpsing them from secretly watching the Dursely’s telly.

“Do I need to wait for your dad to come back?” The server asked impatiently.

“He’s not-” Harry paused, “I mean, yeah, we need to wait for my dad.” The server nodded and left. Unexpected shame burned through Harry. It felt wrong to call Sirius his dad, he’d had a dad. Yet Sirius was so much more than just Sirius. Wasn’t the point of a godfather to assume the role if the father was gone? Harry didn’t actually know, and he wasn’t going to ask Sirius if he wanted to be Harry’s dad. What Sirius was doing for him was more than enough. 

Harry looked up just as Sirius walked towards the table with Remus and Hestia in tow. 

“Hi, Harry!” Hestia pulled him in for a hug as he stood to greet them. “How was your day?”

Harry grinned, “Really great!”

“Sirius said you did a little shopping,” Remus said as he glanced at the menu. 

“You could say that,” Harry laughed, “We did get loads of things… though some of those are surprises.” Harry looked between the two of them and smiled. Remus shook his head, glancing at Sirius. 

“What?” Sirius shrugged, smirking, “Some things were bound to rub off.” Sirius reached over to put his arm around Harry, while subtly casting a charm under his breath. Sirius and Hestia had taught Muffliato to him only a few days ago. Harry laughed and leaned into Sirius’ embrace, also shrugging at his godfather’s best friends. 

After dessert, Sirius whispered in Harry’s ear to pull out the gifts. 

“Okay,” Sirius clapped his hands together, “We wanted to say thank you, so we have a few gifts for you both.”

“Sirius-” Hestia and Remus both chided. 

“They’re from the both of us!” Harry and Sirius said together. They locked eyes and burst into laughter. 

“Alright, go ahead,” Hestia said to Harry, smiling. 

Harry pulled two gift bags from under the table and passed them over. Hestia turned to watch Remus open his gift. Remus pulled out a small, miniature bookcase, fit for a dollhouse. Remus turned it over in his hands, a confused look crossing his face. 

Harry laughed, “It expands,” He whispered, “It’s a new model from Flourish and Blotts. It’s equipped with an expansion charm, a featherweight charm, sticking charms for the books… there are directions in the bag. Along with a list of all the books we picked out for you. Sirius said you didn’t have any of them.”

“Oh, Harry,” Remus murmured, examining the bookcase closer. 

“Sirius said you might have to go away… on missions for…” Harry glanced around, "You know, and I figured you might want to be able to take your books with you if you go away.”

“This is…” Remus reached out and put a hand on Harry’s shoulder across the table, his voice tight, “I love it, thank you.”

“Glad you like it, Moony. Harry was very excited when he found it.”

“Your turn, Hestia!” Harry said eagerly. Hestia smiled at him, opening the small bag. 

“A… CD player?” Hestia asked, looking up at them.

“Sirius said you like Muggle things and have been missing them. I picked out a bunch of CDs for you…” Harry trailed off, “I was going to get you the same thing as Remus… but…”

“I love it, Harry, really.” Hestia insisted and he relaxed a fraction, “It’s just…. It won’t work around all the magic at Grimmauld Place.”

“Well, that’s the second part of your gift,” Sirius said with a smile, “Go ahead, Harry,” Sirius turned to look at him expectantly. 

“We want to de-magic a room at Grimmauld Place.”

“De-magic?” Hestia asked. 

“Here,” Harry pulled the book out of the bag and handed it to her. No-Maj and New Magic glistened on the cover. “It’s an American book. They figured out how to use non-magical things in magical homes.”

“This is fascinating!” Hestia explained, “Americans don’t even like mingling with Muggles.”

“You’re right,” Sirius nodded, “But in typical American fashion, they want their telly.”

“There are complete directions!” Hestia cried, skimming the book, “This is some complicated magic. Oh, thank you, Harry!” The three men laughed. 

“You’re welcome. I’m glad you like it,” Harry smiled.

“Well, before we go…” Sirius mumbled, “I have a surprise for you, Harry.”

“Another one?” Harry asked, shaking his head. Sirius didn’t say anything, just silently handed him a rolled up piece of parchment. Harry’s eyes widened in horror, staring at the parchment, convinced they were papers sending him back to the Dursleys. No one moved as he held the parchment in his hands. 

“Open it,” Hestia whispered. 

Harry unrolled the parchment slowly, preparing for the worst. 

Certificate of Magical Adoption

“Adoption?” Harry whispered. 

“Only if you want it,” Sirius said, his voice shaking. 

“You…” Harry’s heart jumped to his throat and tears prickle behind his eyes, “You want to adopt me?” Harry looked up into Sirius’ shining eyes. Sirius opened his mouth as if to say something, but closed it again, nodding. 

“So I would be your…”

“Son,” Sirius murmured, “Legally you would be my son, but we can talk later about what that means for us… personally. I didn’t want to do it without asking you first.”

Harry didn’t know what to say, so he just kept staring at his godfather.

“As your godfather, it was in your parents will that I would be your legal guardian if they both died,” Sirius continued, clearing his throat, “But I didn’t want to make assumptions, so I wanted to ask you if this is what you wanted. I know you’ve been with your mother’s family for several years…”

“They’re not my family,” Harry said quietly. “Sirius, I-” But he stopped, staring down at the parchment. “Are you sure?” Harry finally whispered, hands shaking. He wanted to make sure that Sirius knew what he was getting in to and doing it because he wanted to, not just because he was supposed to. 

“Am I sure?!” Sirius exclaimed. He looked over to Remus and Hestia. 

“Harry,” Hestia said softly, “Sirius loves you so much, of course he is sure. In fact, I know this is the thing he is the surest about. He wants you to be his, love. If you’ll have him.”

“Okay,” Harry said. 

“Okay?” Sirius asked, gruffly. “Does that mean-”

“It means yes,” Harry said, his voice stronger now. Sirius wanted him. He wanted to be his family. He wanted to be his father.

“Yes?” Sirius asked, seemingly bewildered. 

“Yes,” Harry grinned wildly, staring at his stunned godfather. Sirius gazed at him for a long moment before the same wild grin covered his face.

Sirius sighed as he collapsed into the sofa in the drawing room. With a flick of his wand the torches dimmed. He, Remus, and Hermione had started using this as their room, for lack of a better word. It was secretly warded against everyone in the house besides Harry. Not dangerously, of course. Just enough to make people not think of coming inside. Sirius rubbed his face harshly, trying to push away the doubts that clouded his mind.

“Hey Padfoot,” Remus said as he and Hermione entered the room, closing the door wandlessly behind them. Hermione sat next to him. 

“How are you?” She asked with a smile. It was nearly midnight and everyone had finally gone to bed. The news that Sirius would be officially adopting Harry had set the house abuzz, though Molly had left the kitchen quite early with a grumble and hadn't come back for the rest of the night. 

“I’m…” Sirius sighed again, “I am very happy, but I just want to be sure this is the right thing for Harry and that he’s taken care of and I’m so worried that I am not the one that should be doing it.”

Hermione frowned, “Why do you think you’re not the right one to do it?”

“I have no experience! Like Molly said, I’ve been locked away. What good can I do for him?”

“Sirius!” Remus snapped, “Shut up!”

Hermione gasped, “Remus!”

Remus shook his head, leaning forward and resting his arms on his knees, “I mean it. Sirius, you have got to stop treating yourself this way. I mean, honestly, at the end of the day, anywhere is better than where he was. You saw the bruises. More than that, he wants to be with you, Padfoot. He loves you. If you keep telling yourself you’re not going to do a good job, then you never will. Do the best job you can, it’ll be enough.”

Sirius closed his eyes. He knew Remus was right. He knew it. But he didn’t believe it. It was infuriating. 

“Listen, why don’t I go get us a cup of tea and we can talk about this, alright?” Hermione asked, standing. He stared up at her for a long moment before nodding. He knew that she wouldn’t let it go until he’d talked through it all with her and Remus.

Hermione made her way to the kitchen quickly and quietly, but stopped dead when she entered. Molly Weasley was leaning against the counter, glaring at her. 

“Hi, Molly…” Hermione said, hesitantly. 

“You know, it would have been nice if Sirius had given us a heads up.”

“Well…” Hermione tried to chose her words carefully. Angry Molly was a ticking time bomb. “He didn’t know if Harry would say yes.”

“Of course he said yes!” Molly spat, rolling her eyes, “What with you and Sirius breathing down his neck!”

“What is that supposed to mean?” She gasped, appalled. 

“Well you just showed up, didn’t you, Hestia? Influencing Sirius and Remus to do this and that. Convincing Harry you know what’s best for him.” Molly slammed her mug down and it shattered, tea splattering the countertop and floor. “Well, you  don’t know what’s best for him! You don’t know him!”

“And you do?” Hermione growled, trying to keep her shaking hands in check, even as they itched to grab her wand. 

“Yes! I-”

“So he spent a few days at your house! How is that not equal to the time I’ve spent with him? That Sirius has spent with him? You don’t get to fucking claim him! He is not yours to claim! In fact, now he is Sirius’. So you just need to back off and be happy for him!” The lights flickered dangerously. 

“I will NOT!” Molly screamed, “He deserves better! He deserves-”

“You?”

“Yes! He does! And I-”

Hermione laughed bitterly, cutting her off, “You are not better than Sirius. He is a wonderful, kind, thoughtful man. He is a thousand times better than you. If you can’t be happy for Harry and Sirius, then you need to go.”

Molly’s face darkened, and she shoved her hand in her pocket.

“You- you can’t- I will not -”

“Molly,” A voice said calmly from the door. Arthur and Remus stood there, staring at the pair. Arthur gaped, horror-struck, at Molly's now raised wand.

“Molly, let’s go upstairs,” Arthur said firmly. He looked crosser than Hermione had ever seen him. Molly’s face went even redder as she stalked by him and out of the kitchen, stopping her way to the stairs. Once the Weasley’s left, Remus moved to Hermione’s side swiftly, wrapping his arms around her. 

“How much did you hear?” Hermione mumbled into his robes. 

“Most of it, but Arthur heard much less,” He admitted. Hermione could hear the smile in his voice.

Hermione groaned, “She makes me so mad! I hate it. I hate feeling so angry. I didn’t use to feel this way…” Hermione’s voice caught. “I thought she liked me…”

“She loves him,” Remus murmurs into her hair. “In her way, which often clashes with everyone else’s. But she does love him.”

“I know, but where does she get off? Thinking she knows what is best for him?”

Remus pulled away, pushing her hair from her face, “You have to remember, she doesn’t know who you are. To her, you are a woman who just showed up during the summer, having corrupted Sirius and me.”

Hermione laughed, “Like the two of you need corrupting.”

“Mmm,” Remus leaned down, nuzzling her neck, “I think there are a lot of ways I could be corrupted by you,” He nipped at her skin and she giggled, pushing him away. 

“I definitely will… later. We need to go talk to Sirius.”

Remus growled as she walked away, reaching out to pinch her behind. 

Hermione squealed, slapping his hand and running out of the kitchen.