Apologies
Regulus had been here for a week. And Barty had already lost everything. Well, he was being a bit dramatic - but he feels like he had lost everything. Evan barely talked to him all week. He was too busy making friends with Regulus. And, the thing is, Barty couldn’t really be angry because Regulus was cool, and Barty decidedly wasn’t, and Barty would’ve been ok with that, but Evan was spending all his time with Regulus now, and Barty was all alone and he didn’t have anyone to talk to about it because his one best friend in the whole world had traded him for some guy that he only just met and -
“Hey, you ok there?” Evan was looking at him, concerned. Barty jumped, startled. They were at dinner, Barty and Evan sitting next to each other while Regulus sat across from them. The sounds of hundreds of students eating and chatting flooded Barty’s ears, and he winced. Barty had barely touched his dinner, his thoughts sending him spiralling, jumping to nonexistent conclusions. When he didn’t answer, Evan placed a hand on his shoulder, his eyes boring into Barty’s. “Do you wanna go to the dorm?” He said quietly, only loud enough for Barty and Regulus to hear. Barty nodded, mute, anxiety trickling into his stomach. He felt like he was going to throw up. Why couldn’t he just act normal? Regulus was a cool guy, and Evan wanted to be friends with him. But all Barty could think of was how Regulus was stealing Evan away from him. Barty stood up, and the other two followed.
Regulus rubbed his head, refusing to meet Barty’s eyes. “Uhm, yeah ok… I’ll meet you guys there later,” Regulus said, head bowed and looking a little guilty. He walked off in the direction of the grounds.
“Curfew is at nine, don’t forget!” Evan called. Regulus waved a hand in acknowledgement. Barty was still silent the whole way down to their dorm, and Evan didn’t push him; not while other students could overhear them.
Once they entered the dorm, Evan sat on his bed and waited patiently for Barty to talk. Barty took a deep breath, ugly feelings gripping his heart, and began to pace. “I’m sorry. I really am, Regulus is a cool guy and all, but I dunno, I'm still kinda confused about the whole girl-boy thing. I want to be friends with him, but he doesn’t like me, but you like him and you guys are so cool and now you’ve found a new friend to replace me, and I guess - I dunno, I want you to be happy but also I feel like you no longer want to be friends with me and-”
“Barty. Breathe,” Evan said soothingly, standing next to Barty with a hand on his back. “That’s not what’s going on at all. Yeah, Regulus is super cool, but he also has no other friends. Since he is in our dorm now, and he will be for the next six years, I figured that I might as well become friends with him. He doesn’t hate you at all, he is just a little weary, I think, of the things you said a couple days ago.” Evan led Barty to his bed, mentioning for him to sit. Evan sat next to him, crossing his legs on the mattress. “And, Bee, I will always want to be your friend. You are my best friend in the whole world, ok? I think you and Regulus would be great friends, if you wanted to be.” Evan fell quiet, waiting for Barty to continue. Barty shifted himself on the mattress so that he was facing Evan, crossing his legs so that his knees were touching Evan’s.
“I would like that,” Barty said quietly. “I dunno why I don’t understand things quickly, like you do. If Regulus is happy and comfortable in this dorm, then that’s all that matters, right?” Evan smiled, indicating that he agreed with Bartys’ statement. This gave him a little more confidence, and he took another deep breath. “I know I shouldn’t be jealous, because as you said, he has no other friends. It’s just that I was really looking forward to hanging out with you all year, and not having to see my father. You know he doesn’t like it when we hang out a lot. He thought you were going to be in Ravenclaw, or Hufflepuff. I actually think he was hoping that I would be sorted into Ravenclaw, coz he was too. He wasn't very happy I got into Slytherin, I think. Anyway, yeah, I guess I just wanted to hang out… w-with you.” Barty trailed off, anxiety creeping back into his chest at the thought of his father. Evan was frowning, thinking fast.
“I’m sorry, Bee. I really didn’t mean to leave you behind, I just wanted to make sure Regulus was ok. And… are we ok?” Evan asked genuinely, eyes honest. Barty felt his heart clench.
“Yeah, of course we are.” He leaned forward for a hug, which Evan returned immediately.
Barty felt better than he had all week. He also felt a little stupid, a little angry at himself. You’re lucky Evan is such a good friend. Anyone else would’ve left you by now.
Evan hopped off the bed and stretched. “Alright, enough of this seriousness. Let's go nick a deck of Exploding Snap,” Evan grinned, and Barty smiled right back.
They made their way down to the common room, tightening their robes as they shivered against the coolness of their house. “Merlin, I’m gonna freeze my ass off,” Barty muttered, and Evan snorted loudly, causing Barty to giggle and then they were both laughing, only cut off when a stony voice said, “Can you two stop being vociferous? There are some people here who are trying to read.” Regulus waved his novel around for emphasis, but he wasn't angry. Barty strode over to where Regulus was sitting, and before he could think about it too much, he started to talk.
“I’m sorry, really I am. I might not understand you fully but if you’re comfortable in the boy’s dorm, that’s all that matters in the end, I guess.” Barty worried at his lip, hoping that what he said came out right. For some reason, whenever Barty tried to explain himself, people always misunderstood him. Regulus remained passive; his face showed no emotion. Barty felt sick, but he pushed through.
“We’re getting a deck of Exploding Snap. Would you like to play with us?” Barty bounced on his heels, subconsciously trying to diffuse the tension, unable to stay still. He was about to turn back to Evan, who was watching this exchange from the ‘games cabinet’ across the common room, when Regulus finally replied.
“I love exploding snap.” Relief coursed through Barty, and he smiled. “Will we be playing here, or in our dorm?” Regulus asked.
“We’ll play in our dorm - we can be as loud as we want there,” Barty explained. Regulus dog-eared his book and stood up gracefully from his armchair. Barty noticed this; he most certainly did not have the decorum that Regulus carried himself with. As they walked over to Evan, Regulus whispered to Barty.
“Thank you for your apology. If you would like, I can explain it to you one day,” he offered, not looking at Barty, but at some second-year girls gossiping on a nearby couch. Barty felt the sentiment all the same.
“Thanks... maybe one day.” Barty shrugged. Regulus was either a boy or a girl. What else was there to explain? One little mishap at the start of the term didn't mean that someone could change whole genders.
Evan was holding a deck that looked like it was missing a few cards, but it would still work.
“Is everything alright?” He asked cautiously, nervously thumbing the cards. Barty looked at Regulus before answering.
“Yeah, we’re good,” Barty answered, shooting Regulus a little smile, which he returned.
“Oh, awesome!” Evan beamed, and Barty’s smile grew.
***
The three of them eventually made their way to their dorm, clambering through the doorframe loudly, chattering about teachers and the homework that they had already been given.
“Yeah, I like to complete any set work as soon as we’re given it. So I don’t have to do it later, y’know?” Evan was saying. Barty took himself out of the conversation. He didn’t want to talk about homework ever, least of all on a Sunday night. He took the deck from Evan’s hands and began setting up the game.
“It’s not that I procrastinate with my homework, I just get distracted with a book or something, and I forget.” Regulus accepted his cards with a ‘thank you’ to Barty. Barty nodded in reply, changing the subject before they asked him about his homework.
“Where did you go after dinner, Regulus?” Barty tried to keep his tone light. He didn't want Regulus to freeze up or get angry at his question. Evan looked up from his cards in interest.
“I just went out to the grounds for a walk, then I came back inside to read,” he said, but it was rushed. Barty had the feeling that he was lying, and peeked over at Evan to see his reaction. Evan did not seem to question Regulus’ answer at all, and Barty thought maybe he was hearing things until Evan quickly glanced at him. The look, which was hardly a second long, told him everything. Evan thought Regulus was lying too, and he wanted to talk to Barty as soon as he could.
Regulus placed down a card, then Evan did too, and it was Barty’s turn again.
“Can I ask you guys a question? Were you guys sharing a bed before I moved in here?” Barty’s jaw dropped - he was hoping that Regulus hadn’t noticed. He and Evan always shared beds on sleepovers, but maybe other boys thought it was weird to share a bed with your best friend. Evan, however, had no such concerns.
“Barty and I have been friends ever since we were five. His mother and my mother are good friends, and we often have sleepovers. Sometimes, his parents would go on trips and Barty would come over to my place and we’d do school together,” Evan explained, smirking at Barty. Barty nodded, remembering all the times they’d pull childish pranks on Evan’s poor house elf.
“Oh, that’s cool. My mum taught us everything, so we didn’t get that luxury,” Regulus said, placing a card wearily on the pile.
“Us? Who’s us?” Evan inquired, frowning.
“My brother and I. His name is Sirius. He's... in Gryffindor,” Regulus stated shortly. There was a brief uncomfortable silence while everyone digested this information. A Gryffindor? A Black in Gryffindor? Barty had heard about the uproar about a year ago, but his mother had shielded him from the politics that his father liked to talk about, and ushered him outside into the Fall air. No wonder Regulus is ashamed. I would be too, Barty thought. After a couple moments, Barty slammed a card onto the pile, yelling ‘snap!’ and just like that, all the stress melted away.