pages of poetry

Sirius had never spent the night alone. Even living in one of the biggest estates in Great Britain, he had always shared a bedroom with his younger brother. So he didn't mind sharing a room of a similar size with his 3 new companions, It made him feel less alone.

Of course, he never said that he felt alone, He wasn't going to admit that, like his soppy classmates that begged to ring home the first night. He particularly remembered a small redhead refusing to go upstairs until she had spoken to her sister, even after the phone had been hung up on twice. Sirius was better than that, so he only let himself miss his little brother's company under the cover of moonlight, when he knew his mates had fallen asleep. He would let out the tears that silently rolled down his face, and would softly sob into his pillow. Not only did he have an image to maintain, but he had to be strong for his brother. He couldn't imagine how the boy felt sleeping on his own. He didn't know that Regulus had been sneaking into his bed like he did when they were children, and hugging his pillow, trying to convince himself it was his older brother instead.

Some nights, Sirius doesn't feel the need to cry. His tear ducts have been emptied, and he was fine. A small part of him felt wrong for that, like he should feel more. But you never really feel much in that house, and he was done sulking. He would spend those nights, sitting on the windowsill by his bed showing the bright Scotland night sky.

The stars were different at Hogwarts, he had to search the night sky, eagerly searching for his and his brother's constellations. It was funny, being named after a star; since you were always up in the sky, never escaping the gaze of Orion, or separation from his brother. It's hard when you can't hug a star though, can't tell them It's going to be alright. He would still look up at the night sky, talking to Regulus, and looking at the moon as it made its journey across the sky.

The Blacks were all named after stars, so of course he had to know his astronomy. Sirius knew off the back of his hand when every moon phase began, and ended, knew how the constellations travel through the night sky as the seasons changed, even as the night progressed. It was funny to Sirius how Regulus was the heart of Leo, the heart of the lion. Being a Gryffindor, the house of the lion, Sirius believed the star matched himself, and Regulus was in his heart too. He didn't know about all the other lions though, James and Peter could only differentiate the sun from the moon and still found it an obscure wonder when they saw the moon in daylight. Remus barely speak enough to know his opinion, but he seemed to hate the full moon. It was around that time that he left to visit his mum though, spending the night over at His mother's place before coming back to school, looking more grumpy than before. Peter had asked about his disappearance, seemingly surprising the boy, and he quickly explained his mother was sick, and wasn't going to get better, so he was allowed to see her once a month. That stopped any questions or continuation of the conversation, and that was that.

Regulus had returned his reply to Sirius' letter, but the boy had been a little busy actually doing his schoolwork in the evenings, not wanting to get in too much trouble with their head of house. The boys would muck around in their usual classes though, James being too bloody smart to need to listen, and Peter easily taking notes and listening to the teacher as he chatted with the boys. Remus, as usual took no part in their antics, but ended up being wound into the mess, as he had nothing better to do, and would occasionally add a sharp remark to oppose James, making Sirius blurt out in laughter. Their head of house Professor Mcgonagall, had taken the boys out of the common room one evening, giving them a talking to about their slacking off, and how they needed to do their work in classes, especially after their teachers had begun to complain about the four terrors. She hadn't noticed Sirius' slight terror when she mentioned calling their parents, when he asked about the extent of punishment. He was used to punishment, but didn't want to see his mother. He hated to admit it, but he was slightly terrified when that Howler had replicated his mothers harsh screams, in front of his friends especially.
he made the excuse of busy postage to his brother, as he slightly broke his promise to write everyday. It was hard to leave out the bad parts of school, how he spent his nights longing for his brother, taking scalding hot showers to feel the warmth, unlike the Black Manors freezing bathrooms. He did write about the terrors adventures', taking their teacher's description as a nickname to the group of four. They had very quickly found the kitchens, and Peter had befriended the elves. He would sometimes spend an evening cooking with them, always saying he liked cooking with his house elf at home. Later in the night, right before curfew, he would come shuffling in with baked goods stuffed in his pockets. The boys would stuff their faces, Remus included, picking out the chocolate treats, and would go to bed with warm and full stomachs.

James tended to snore when he slept, sometimes his little black kitten sat on his face, and shut the boy up. James had made the excuse of his mother's cat giving birth to a litter, and Effie insisted the boy take one to school. Sirius knew the boy had a soft spot for all animals, and loved the little kitten. Everyone did, and no one would mind if the cat chose someone's bed to sleep in every other night. It also meant James, as the extension of his cat had become quite popular with the first year girls in their house. Peter never bothered to close his bed curtains, and would tend to lie sprawled across his bed in all sorts of positions. He slept like an absolute rock once he was asleep, though. Remus had always kept his curtains shut tight, his bed right next to Sirius' left, the window on his right and the other boys' beds on the other side of the room. He could hear Remus stay up late too, but didn't think to disturb the boy. He could sometimes hear him sniffle too. Probably missed home, or felt a bit sorry for himself.

One night, he had padded out from past his bed, and had gone into the loo. Sirius was still up, sitting by his window. The other boy hadn't noticed Sirius, frozen in place, noticed as he looked up at the sky. He didn't however have the same luck, when Remus emerged from the bathroom, he looked straight at Sirius, in his silk pyjamas, and messy bed head. The boy looked slightly taken aback by the other boy's appearance before scoffing, and making another one of his snide remarks. "Waiting for someone?" his husky voice questioned, as if Sirius had been waiting for his friend to leave the bathroom. "No," Sirius replied before quickly adding "You wish though. I just don't sleep well. early bedtimes aren't my thing." He asked the brunette if he would like some company, and followed him back to their beds, before going back to his own bed. They sat on their facing beds, talking for a while about nothing in particular. Mostly they mused over James and Peter's partnership, and they guessed they had just grown up together, and stayed close all the time. James' cat, ninja slinked down from his bed, coming to join Sirius and Remus. He circled round on Sirius' lap, before laying down, making it impossible for the 12 year old to move. Rubbing his eyes, Remus decided at least one of them should get some sleep, before they were both particularly grumpy. Sirius couldn't help but remind Remus he was always grumpy, but agreed with the notion.

That night, Sirius had fallen asleep with the cat sleeping tucked into the crevice of space between his arms, and scrunched up legs. Its warmth almost reminded Sirius of the nights when they were little, after a particularly bad punishment, Regulus would creep up into his brother's bed and spend the night with him.

He never did cease to wonder how his brother was. Not during the nights.