Even Stranger Things

Everything was ruined, everything.

Harry - Harry didn't understand because Harry never understood, but it was over. They were going to have to leave Hawkins, they would need to run and hide and it had been so stupid to think they could ever blend in.

Sirianna was shaking, truly shaking, in the passenger seat of Billy's car. Harry told Chief Hopper about magic and then he exploded at Steve's house, a horrendous burst of magic that everyone had seen.

They saw, they knew. And that girl - that girl with Harry's tattoo, she would get Harry hurt, Sirianna knew she would. She was involved in Benny's death, maybe even caused it, which meant the White Coats were after her.

Where could they go? Where in the entire world would it be safe for them? Was there such a place? Anyplace?

Gravel kicked behind the tires of the car when Billy spun the steering wheel hard, taking it barreling down the hidden drive for the quarry. Sirianna bounced in her seat then fell back against it when the car skid to a stop.

The music was still blaring, making it easier for Sirianna to think. Billy leaned his seat back, lit a cigarette and passed it to her. Sirianna accepted it wordlessly, though she was… surprised… that Billy hadn't thrown her from his car.

Billy had been the one swearing and trying to yank Sirianna away from Harry when everything went crazy. Billy knew it was magic, she heard him say it.

Then he let her leave in his car anyway.

Sirianna peeked over at him, letting the new curiosity about Billy push away her fears for her brother. Billy didn't look scared or disgusted or freaked out. He looked almost peaceful with his own cigarette between his lips and his eyes half-closed.

"It's a good face to stare at," Billy drawled, apparently quite aware that Sirianna was studying him. "Fucking fantastic actually."

It was a great face, honestly. Even with the bruise that was fading and the cut lip, Billy was terribly handsome.

"You're not - um, upset?" Sirianna asked. The very last thing she wanted was to be thrown out of Billy's car, but if it was going to happen then it might as well. How much worse could her day get, really?

Billy took his time answering, he adjusted the volume of the radio so it wasn't loud enough to chatter their teeth. He inhaled his cigarette deeply, blew the smoke out his window.

"Freaked the fuck out of me," Billy eventually said, perfectly even and calm. He tilted his head and the small smile was disarmingly sweet. "Remind me to not piss off little brother."

He - oh. It - Billy didn't —

"It's not just Harry," Sirianna said in a rush. Harry was the one who kept revealing magic to the whole town, why couldn't Sirianna talk about it? It was such a huge part of her, a part that she didn't want to hide. "If you're thinking it's just Harry, it's not."

Billy blinked, then raised an eyebrow while his smile turned into a smirk.

"Liar."

What? What? Sirianna was not lying. Why would she? Why would she lie about something so - so —

"Gotta prove it, kitten." Billy turned away, as if he were bored by Sirianna's confession. He went right back to smoking, looking much better when he did it than Sirianna felt as she irritably held her cigarette too tightly between her fingers.

"You want me to prove to you that I can do magic?" Sirianna demanded, wanting to be sure she understood him. "I can't - nobody can do magic like Harry! I can't just control the weather, Billy."

"Can't control shit," Billy said, so - so calm. He was infuriating. "Sure, you're calling it ‘magic', but if you can't prove it…"

Prove it? He wanted proof?

Sirianna reached over and snatched the cigarette right out of his hands. She had to lean past him to throw it out his window, throwing it as far as she could nearly to the water. Billy watched it fly away and then slowly looked at her with a deadpan expression.

"That's not magic, just bullshit," he said. He reached for Sirianna's cigarette and she held it up and out of reach.

"Get your own," she said.

The cigarette flew right back in through the window, very nearly burning one of Billy's blonde curls, and Sirianna was smug when she caught it and primly held it out to him.

It wasn't impressive, it wasn't anything near what Harry could do, but it was proof.

Billy's eyes flickered from Sirianna's to the cigarette, narrowing briefly as if trying to decide that it was a trick. His lips eventually twitched and curled themselves into the smirk he wore constantly.

"That's it?" he asked. "Babe, that might seem like magic to this podunk fuckin town, but I promise you I've seen better shit at boardwalk shows."

Billy took the cigarette back while Sirianna's smugness faded and there was a flutter in her stomach. Was it - would she never be enough? Billy was a muggle and Sirianna's wandless summoning didn't impress him.

"Right." Sirianna's voice was faint and she struggled to open her door, struggled to get away for the space she told Harry she needed. It was stupid to leave with Billy, stupid to think anything Sirianna could do would compare to everything Harry could do.

It was impossible - impossible - to love her brother so much, more than anyone has ever loved anyone before, and also to feel jealousy well up inside of her every time it was pointed out how she could never compete.

The Boy-Who-Lived and his sister.

Zero-Seven and Zero-Seven-B.

Sirianna swung her legs out of the car and closed the door carefully behind her before she began walking away. There was the road behind her, but Sirianna walked toward the quarry, looked down in the depths of it. She expected Billy to drive off, something. She didn't expect him to call out his window at her.

"What the hell, Sirianna?"

"Go home, Billy," Sirianna said flatly, shivering in the cool air. It reminded her of Hogwarts, of the cold fall days, the days when she thought life would always be magic and laughter and fun.

The car door slammed while Sirianna peered down in the quarry, wondering how deep the dark water went. Was it endless? If she dropped a rock in the water, would it ever stop falling? Would it ever land on a steady surface again?

Billy stopped just behind Sirianna and she twisted out of reach when he tried to grab her arm.

"Don't," she said. "I - just go away."

"Look, I wasn't trying to piss you off, alright?" he sounded less sure than usual, less arrogant, more… more genuine. Billy didn't often sound genuine.

"You're getting worked up over nothing."

Nothing.

Sirianna was always nothing- not important. The only person she had been important to was Harry, before he - he decided that the girl with the same mark as him was more important.

"Thanks," Sirianna spat, hating that her throat was clogging up and her eyes were watering. "I'm nothing, Harry's amazing. I already knew that actually."

Billy sighed and it was loud and huffy, angry, irritated. He could leave anytime he wanted. Sirianna wouldn't ask him to stay.

"That wasn't what I fucking said," Billy spat right back at her. He grabbed her arm again, too fast for her to move. "I didn't say you were nothing, I said the fucking magic superpower shit is nothing, alright? I don't care."

"I DO CARE!" Sirianna yelled. She jerked on her arm and Billy let it go, Sirianna let herself go. "I CARE THAT I AM NOTHING, THAT MY MAGIC IS NOTHING! I CARE THAT I CAN'T COMPETE WITH HIM AND I SHOULDN'T TRY! I AM SICK OF BEING THE OTHER ONE, THE NOTHING ONE!"

Zero-Seven-B.

Sirianna convinced herself, she convinced herself, that it didn't mean anything. Maybe every girl who was taken by the White Coats had a B. But El had an eleven. Harry was seven, El was eleven, and Sirianna was the extra.

Billy couldn't understand it, he couldn't. Ron had understood, Ron understood it from the second they met.

"I've got five brothers," Ron said. "Billy was head boy, brilliant really. Charlie was the star of his quidditch team, everyone loved him. Percy's a genius, he'll probably be head boy in his seventh year. Then Fred and George are really funny, everyone always says that."

Sirianna glanced at where Harry was curled up in the corner of the bench, his knees pulled up and his eyes moving side to side with a glitter in them, probably excited to be reading about all the spells they would learn. When Harry was involved in a book, he never heard Sirianna. She might as well talk to a brick wall for as much as Harry listened.

"We went to Diagon Alley and everyone knew Harry, knew his name, they told him they were sorry about our parents." Sirianna kicked a foot and shrugged her shoulders, pretending it wasn't a big deal, not as much as Ron having five older brothers who had all been in the spotlight.

"Some bloke actually knocked me over, trying to get to Harry." Sirianna grinned at Ron, it was funny - probably. Sirianna didn't think so, but she wasn't going to whine about it since Harry had been miserable and uncomfortable with all the attention.

Sirianna didn't want to be famous for having dead parents, she just… she didn't want to feel like she didn't matter at all either.

"One time…" Ron kicked his foot and it nudged Sirianna's and their trainers were both rather shabby. "I made a friend at the village near my house. Mum was shopping, I'm allowed to walk around since I don't get lost. I thought that Lewis would be my best mate, even though he was a muggle. Then Fred and George found us and started making jokes and Lewis wanted to be their friend instead."

So Ron understood, he probably understood almost perfectly how Sirianna felt. And he didn't think she was a bad sister at all.

"Well," Sirianna's grin widened to something more real and she kicked Ron's foot on purpose, "we can be best mates. I won't trade you for your brothers."

Sirianna thought that they'd be best friends forever. But forever was only that year.

"I don't care about your fuckin brother!" Billy yelled right back at Sirianna. "Jesus fucking Christ, do you even listen? You acted like you were confessing to murder, Sirianna! Excuse the fuck out of me for thinking you didn't want me to make a big deal out of it. You know what? Here!" Billy grabbed for his pocket, pulled a silver lighter from it. "You want to prove you're just as fuckin' insane as Harry? Fetch."

Billy pulled his arm back and threw the lighter forward with a single flick of his wrist. Sirianna watched the lighter sail through the air before it landed with a quiet splat, an honestly impressive distance away. Sirianna's breath hitched when she watched it sink out of sight.

He… were all boys so —?

"I can't," Sirianna said with something bubbling in her stomach that felt like hysteria. She looked back at Billy and knew her eyes must be shining with mirth, it was too much. "It's too far. Also," Sirianna tried to not laugh and her face twitching to keep from giggling, "I'm not a dog, so I don't actually fetch things."

"That's…" Billy's own anger deflated and he looked out at the quarry with a pathetic and beatdown little sigh. "That was my only lighter."

That did it. Sirianna lost it, she absolutely lost it. It was Billy's mild look of heartbreak, the fetch, all of it. Sirianna lost it and started giggling until the giggles turned into laughter and she had to reach for Billy to keep from falling over.

"You - threw - your - lighter!" Sirianna howled and felt tears streaming down her face. Maybe they were the frustrated tears from before, maybe they were brand new tears of hysteria because Billy threw his only lighter.

It was in the quarry, sinking forever, because Billy had thought Sirianna could fetch it.

"It's not funny," Billy said gruffly. He looked down at Sirianna and the unusual look of confusion was enough to make her laugh even more. "God damn it, quit laughing!"

Billy shoved at her and Sirianna gripped his sleeve, pulling him down to the dirt with her. They didn't fall hard, but the fact that Billy fell at all was so ridiculous.

Then he chuckled. Sirianna watched him roll his eyes at her, brush dirt off his jacket, and then she got to see him chuckle. The pause in Sirianna's laughter added another chuckle and then Billy was laughing and Sirianna was laughing and everything was too ridiculous to be real.

Things weren't ruined, they were ridiculous. A level of ridiculous that Sirianna suspected only she and Harry could brew up.

"Harry - Harry revealed magic to everyone," Sirianna wheezed, suddenly finding it hilarious. "And you threw your only lighter!"

"You're fucking insane," Billy complained, rather mildly considering that he was still laughing. "God, why is it always the crazy ones?"

Sirianna tried to control herself, she tried to stop laughing, but it only took one look at Billy's face - so sweet when it was open and laughing. He looked younger, he was lovely. Billy's laughter faltered when hers did and then they were just laying on the ground, smiling at each other.

There was a quiet moment, as fragile as a bubble, between them as they stared in each other's eyes. What Billy was searching for, Sirianna couldn't imagine, but he… he didn't seem disappointed by what he found.

"You're not nothing," Billy murmured. He grabbed the waistband of Sirianna's trousers and twisted her by the hip, putting her on her side facing him.

Sirianna swallowed and lifted her hand up despite the terrified thrill racing through her. Billy closed his eyes when she placed her hand on his face and then he was the one who shivered. Sirianna was gentle, she smoothed her thumb over the soft skin beneath his unbruised eye and let out a quiet sigh.

Sirianna didn't feel like nothing, not just then. She felt - brave, actually, bold.

Billy's eyes opened just enough to see Sirianna through his lashes. The clouds and the storms and everything that was always shadowing him were gone, neither of them were hiding just then.

"You're not nothing either," Sirianna said as quietly as a whisper. Billy didn't act like he ever thought he was nothing, but he seemed so small and vulnerable with his cheek beneath her hand and the arrogance momentarily gone.

"Yeah?" Billy shifted closer and it wasn't so cold, not with his body blocking the wind and everything burning inside of her. Billy tilted his head and they were so close. Sirianna could smell his breath - it smelled like cigarettes and Sirianna didn't mind, thought it was fitting. "Prove it."

Sirianna was taken aback for a second, she didn't understand what Billy asked of her. Prove it? Prove he —

Oh.

Oh.

Sirianna leaned in slowly, half-terrified that she misunderstood, and Billy closed his eyes, moved his hand to her hip. Sirianna didn't mind, she didn't. It felt nice, almost as nice as it felt when she pressed her lips on his and the ground under them tilted.

Billy's lips were soft and sure. Sirianna's eyes fluttered closed and it was unreal, so perfect.

It was sweet, gentle, everything that Sirianna used to dream of a first kiss being.

Billy opened his eyes when Sirianna pulled away and he grinned at her, the same sweet grin she had seen earlier. Billy - Billy didn't really grin at anyone else like that, not that Sirianna had seen.

"You're not nothing," he said, low and painfully gentle. His hand tightened on her hip in contrast and the sweet smile was traded for his cocky smirk. "I sure as hell don't want your brother to kiss me."

Well, that was good.

Billy rolled over on his back and Sirianna had only hesitated for a moment before she rolled a little closer. For warmth, it was chilly. They laid like that for some time, Billy closed his eyes and seemed so peaceful that Sirianna didn't feel obligated to break the silence.

Instead, she looked out at the quarry and let guilt slowly settle in her chest. She had been horrible to Harry, honestly. Sirianna knew that Harry was stressed, he had been so upset that his magic lashed out. That hadn't happened in - in a long time.

Sirianna upset him, then she accused a little girl of murdering Benny. El might have been there, Sirianna could picture it with painful clarity —

El could have been running, as Sirianna and Harry had. The diner was the first business on the main road in town, Benny would have had the open sign lit up. Benny was kind, he would have seen a little girl who was scared and lost and he would have offered her help. Just as he had Sirianna.

If the White Coats went looking for the girl, they would have killed Benny. Sweet, wonderful Benny who couldn't magically disappear from place to place like El could have.

It didn't explain why El stole Benny's bag, but El probably could explain.

Sirianna should have given her a chance to.

"You know what would be fucking amazing?" Billy asked when Sirianna shifted, preparing herself to go fix the mess she made.

"What's that?" Sirianna asked.

"A cigarette."

Sirianna snorted and pushed herself up from the ground - but, Merlin, it was cold. Sirianna didn't know Indiana got so cold, it was barely November and it was as bad as Hogwarts.

"And whose fault is that?" she teased him.

Billy leaned back on his shoulders before doing a jump and somehow landing perfectly on his feet in front of her.

"Yours," he said, looking down at her perfectly deadpan. "You bewitched me to throw mine or something."

"I - I did not!" Sirianna protested. "You threw it and told me to fetch, Billy Hargrove."

Billy was the one to snort then, though Sirianna couldn't guess why. He shook his head at her as he slid his jacket off.

"If we're going back to King Steve's, I'm stopping for a lighter." Billy shook the jacket out and then casually slid it around Sirianna, wrapping her in warmth and - and a very boy smell that made her cheeks blush.

"You don't have to go," Sirianna said, hoping very much that he would go anyway. "I mean, it would be lovely if you would drop me off, but you don't have to stay."

Billy rolled his eyes and put a hand on her back, lightly guiding her back to the car.

"Nah, I'll go. I bet Steve's got beer and I don't have shit to do today anyway."

Oh. Sirianna remembered then that she did actually have plans, plans she had been quite excited for. Chrissy was expecting her, they were going to have a sleepover.

It wasn't important, not really, Sirianna had just wanted to do something silly and normal. Harry was obviously much more important, Sirianna couldn't do anything until she talked with him, fixed any hurt that she caused.

Billy did stop briefly on their way back to Steve's, long enough to raise his middle finger at a boy on a bicycle and to purchase a new lighter. Sirianna asked him about the boy when he was back in the car, a cigarette between his lips and his fingers drumming along with the music on the steering wheel.

"Who was that boy?" Sirianna asked, having to shout some over the radio and the wind. She didn't mind, the noise was fine and she certainly wasn't cold, not in his jacket.

"No idea," Billy called back with a shrug. "Some friend of Max's."

"Do you not like him?"

"Nope."

"Why?"

"He's a friend of Max's."

That didn't make any sense, none at all. Sirianna had never felt any instinctive dislike toward Harry's friends, she had liked Theo Nott well enough. Theo was shy, quiet, much like Harry, and Sirianna had been happy to see Harry making a friend so quickly at Hogwarts. It made her feel less bad that she didn't ask the Hat to send her to Slytherin with him.

"But Max is your sister?" Sirianna said, pushing the issue even if she shouldn't. It just didn't make sense. "Why would you not like her friends?"

Billy rolled his shoulders, Sirianna could see every muscle shifting beneath the shirt he wore. It was distracting, but not too distracting.

"Because if Max is a bitch then her friends are bitches," Billy said. He paused to inhale then blew the smoke out the window with the wind. "Get it?"

Honestly? No. Sirianna didn't think that Billy's sister was a bitch at all. She hadn't talked to Sirianna, but Sirianna liked her red hair and the skateboard she had rode from the school where Billy picked her up to his car.

There wasn't time to ask more about Billy's sister though, he turned the car and they were back on the drive that led to Steve's house, back where Sirianna hoped her brother would be.

It made Sirianna's guilt for being a shit hole to Harry triple when there was a familiar face peering out of one of the windows. She couldn't see Harry's expression, not that it probably would have mattered, but she hoped he was at least a little happy to see her.

She had to think that after everything they had been through, Harry wouldn't - wouldn't hate her over a spat. Sirianna had been awful, Harry should have left a note, it didn't need to be a forever fight.

They were siblings, twins. Maybe not everyone liked their sibling, but Sirianna loved hers so fiercely that it was painful at times.

That had to mean something, it had to make a difference for them. It simply had to.

Which did nothing for the sudden nerves Sirianna had. She sank down in the seat, both from shame and nervousness, and cast Billy a hopeful glance.

"Can I have one?" she asked him, gesturing toward his cigarette. It certainly wasn't a stalling technique, that would be stupid and selfish.

Billy flicked his cigarette from one hand to the other and let it dangle out the window while he pulled the pack from his jeans pocket. He threw it to her without a word, which meant Sirianna apparently had to ask to use his lighter as well.

"Um," Sirianna pulled one of the cigarettes from the pack and placed it on his knee, "can I use your lighter?"

Billy must have been waiting for her to ask, he answered so quickly.

"Nope. I don't trust you with it."

"Are you joking?" Sirianna scoffed. She tossed her hair back, rolled her eyes. "You threw it, you shit."

Billy let out a brief and harsh laugh as he leaned toward her, the lighter dangling from his fingers.

"Because…" he trailed off and quirked his brow. "Come on, kitten, admit you bewitched me."

"I did not bewitch you," Sirianna said. She was mostly sure that Billy was teasing and so she placed her stalling technique cigarette between her lips and tried to make her eyes big and pleading.

It must have worked to an extent because Billy leaned even closer and flicked the lighter until the small flame appeared. There was a shadow it made on his face and Sirianna wanted to die when Billy lifted the flame to the end of her cigarette and stared in her eyes while she puffed to keep it lit.

It shouldn't have been the most - most - Sirianna didn't have the words, but nobody had any business making lighting a cigarette seem so attractive.

Sirianna exhaled the smoke slowly, smirking in triumph when she finally caught Billy off guard and managed to be the one to blow smoke in his face. Billy started to laugh, Sirianna could see it in his blue, blue eyes.

Then there was a knock on Sirianna's car door that caused her to jump and the glimmer in Billy's eyes to disappear as quickly as the moment between them.

It was the girl, El. She stood a few feet away from Sirianna's side of the car, her arms wrapped around herself, and her face blank while she looked at Sirianna. She - she looked like Harry, her face and the dullness of her eyes.

"Party's over," Billy muttered, sinking back down in his seat and turning away from Sirianna.

The ‘party' did seem to be over. Sirianna wanted to talk to Harry before she did El, but… but it seemed as if El wasn't going to give her that chance.

"Yeah," she sighed. She, quite impressively really, managed to keep Billy's jacket from sliding off her and she kept her cigarette tucked between two of her fingers while she got out of the car.

She planned on apologizing, telling El that she didn't believe that she had killed Benny and she was sorry for saying so. El was as much of a victim as Harry had been, Sirianna shouldn't have screamed at her.

El spoke up before Sirianna could.

"Green bag," she said. "Daughter."

"What?" Sirianna stared oddly at El. Harry was a reluctant conversationalist at the best of times, El clearly took shorthand to a new level.

"Green bag," El said slowly, never blinking even once. "For daughter. Man's daughter."

"It's - that bag?" Sirianna pointed behind her at where the green gift bag from Benny's was safely tucked in the backseat. "That - Benny doesn't - didn't - Benny didn't have a daughter?"

Sirianna's nose stung though, because… because Benny said she could be Sirianna Hammond. And if Benny met a scared girl, maybe - maybe he said…

"Harry's sister, man's daughter," El told her. She pointed where Sirianna was, though there was no way she could see the bag in the back. "Green bag for you."

Sirianna had to blink several times, very quickly, to keep from crying. It was embarrassing, crying so much. And Sirianna didn't even know El, she shouldn't be bawling like a baby in front of her.

"Did Benny tell you that?" Sirianna asked in a choked tone. It hurt to imagine that, to imagine Benny telling a perfect stranger that he had something in a gift bag for his daughter.

It hurt terribly, bad enough that Sirianna hated that she knew Harry must be feeling an echo of it.

"Yes." El nodded her head briefly. "Saved it. Gave it to daughter."

El… El saved it. Benny told her that he had something for Sirianna and El saved it… kept the White Coats from taking it.

And Sirianna had screamed at her, treated her like rubbish.

El turned then and walked right back to the house, letting herself inside and closing the door as quietly as she moved, leaving Sirianna to stand outside and feel like the absolute worst person to ever exist.

It seemed as if Sirianna were the shit hole after all.