Foul-Ball
It was the start of a really stupid joke:
The world's biggest douchebag, a really weird kid, and a normal guy sat in a kitchen while two mutants talked in the living room and everyone pretended to not be eavesdropping…
Steve didn't know what the punchline would be, but he thought it would probably include an actual punch.
"— can't sleep…"
"Well…" Steve thrummed his fingers on the table loudly, covering the conversation he probably wasn't meant to hear. "This is fun."
Hargrove grunted with an annoying little smirk on his face. Steve really didn't get what Sirianna saw in the guy. He was an ass, had been from the first day they met.
Steve didn't even want him in his house, kicking back in one of the dining table chairs, way too at ease. He had literally strode inside, grabbed a beer from the fridge, and sat down - making himself right at home.
The little girl, the one that Harry called his sister and Sirianna said was not their sister was tense. And silent. She like didn't talk at all.
Everything was actually completely insane so maybe Hargrove sitting in Steve's kitchen like he belonged there was the least crazy thing.
Superpowers. Harry had freaking superpowers. He was like a real life Storm with green eyes and the power to control the weather.
It was freaking insane, but so badass.
Harry was kind of a secret badass, really. He was so quiet sometimes but then - BAM! - suddenly he's making magic tornadoes and protecting El and — it was awesome.
"Hey," Hargrove cut through Steve's replay of the insane day he had. "What are you thinking about right now?" he asked Steve.
"What?" Steve shook his head, was Billy Hargrove really asking what was on his mind?
Hargrove leaned forward and Steve really didn't like the glimmer in his eyes. If he was amused, it couldn't mean anything good for Steve.
"Come on," Hargrove said, all friendly suddenly. "What were you thinking about?"
"I don't know?" Steve ran a hand through his hair and tried to decide if he should lie or not. What did it matter?
"Superpowers?" Steve said with a shrug. It was geeky, but Hargrove saw it all go down the same way Steve did. Why wouldn't he be thinking about it?
"Ah." Hargrove smiled, it wasn't really friendly though and Steve realized he probably should have lied and said basketball or something.
"… feel like things changed…"
"Why's it matter?" Steve asked defensively. He really didn't like Hargrove's face then.
"It doesn't." Hargrove took a swig of Steve's beer then slid the bottle from hand to hand, playing innocent suddenly. "You had a dumbass smile on your face and I wanted to know if I was right."
Yeah, that wasn't ominous at all.
"Were you?" Steve asked, tensing in irritation. Why couldn't Hargrove be a normal human being for one freaking day? Mutants were real and he wanted to pick a fight with Steve, it was unreal.
"Yeah." Hargrove shot him a shit-eating grin across the table. "I sure was."
"You were right that I was thinking about superpowers?"
El's head swiveled side to side while she watched them argue. Steve really hoped that the twins couldn't hear them because Hargrove looked ready to say something stupid. Or maybe he did hope they could hear him, maybe then Sirianna would realize he was a douche and quit bringing him around.
"Nope." Hargrove licked his lips, like a freaking starving dog about to rip Steve apart for a meal. "I figured if you were looking like a little bitch then you were thinking about Harry."
That - that wasn't true. Or, not really. Kind of? Steve stilled while he worked through the obvious insinuation.
Billy was wrong. He was wrong and an ass so everything he said was made to be annoying.
First off Steve didn't look like a little bitch, ever. Even if he was smiling, that didn't make him a bitch. Were guys not supposed to ever smile? They couldn't think that finding out comic books could come true wasn't rad?
And second off, Steve - Steve wasn't gay. That was what Billy was trying to imply, that Steve was grinning about Harry and he wasn't. It - that was just Hargrove being a dick. Steve - he wasn't - Harry was cool, it made Steve happy that they were friends.
Harry was nice, he had called to check on Steve when it was his uncle who had died. Harry didn't act like he expected Steve to be anything or do anything when they hung out. And he liked to swim! They were outside for over an hour, Why shouldn't Steve like being around him?
It didn't mean Steve was fucking gay.
"Maybe I was thinking about your mom," Steve muttered, pissed off for no real reason. It didn't matter what Hargrove thought, his opinion shouldn't make Steve feel sick.
"Say that again, real clear, Stevie."
Steve snapped his eyes up and planned on doing just that until he saw the look Hargrove got sometimes, the insane look that made Steve think it might not be worth it. Hargrove should be locked up, he was freaking psychotic.
"… love you more than anything. Anything."
"Nothing," Steve scoffed, turning away. "Why don't you just stop talking?"
"Whatever you say," Hargrove said smugly. There was a pause, "Queen Steve."
"You know what?" Steve jumped to his feet, knocking his chair down. He was fed up with it, fed up with Hargrove sitting in his freaking house and running his mouth.
Hargrove stood too, ready for the fight he had been obviously working for.
"What?" Hargrove taunted him. "Go ahead, do something."
Steve was ready to lunge over the table, hit Hargrove at least once. Hargrove was insane, Steve would probably get destroyed, but at least then the guy would shut there fuck up.
"Seriously?"
Steve turned when Sirianna's voice cut through the tension. She stood in the doorway, shoulder to shoulder with her brother, and looked at Hargrove with as much disbelief as Steve had on the inside.
Harry looked at Steve, Steve looked away.
"All done?" Hargrove asked her. "Ready to roll?"
"Not quite," Sirianna said. "Um… El? I - well, I'm sorry. Truly. I was a shit hole to you—"
Steve grinned a little.
"— and that wasn't fair. Harry and I - we thought, if you wanted to, you could come with us? You're - you know - like family in a way."
As far as apologies went, Steve had heard better. Not that it mattered to the girl who apparently wasn't their sister but had some sort of sick tattoo on her arm like Harry did. El lit up like it was Christmas morning and nodded her head before Sirianna even finished speaking.
"Brilliant," Sirianna said. "Um… Steve? Thank you, for - for letting Harry and El stay. And I'm sorry we sort of took over your house. It's lovely, really."
"Yeah, no problem." Steve released the tight grip he had on the table and forced himself to smile breezily at Sirianna. He didn't mention that it was actually kind of nice to have people over without having to make it a party every time. Steve could do without Hargrove ever returning, but the twins were alright.
"Yeah," Hargrove shouldered Steve on his way around the table - thankfully out the door, "thanks, Stevie."
Steve inhaled slowly, held it until everyone was gone and he was alone inside his house again.
"Fuck you," Steve said in a rush as he exhaled.
Hargrove was a dick.
Steve took a shower and washed the weird down the drain with his shampoo and conditioner. He didn't need to think about Harry - green eyes that freaking glowed when he controlled the wind - or Hargrove - "Queen Steve."
Steve needed to get out of his house, go do something. Tommy might be up to hang out, but he had been a dick on Friday about the twins so Steve wasn't really dying to see him. Nancy though… Nancy might be interested in hanging out.
Nancy was pretty, sweet, smart… and they kind of had a thing going on. Okay, they made out a few times, but Steve liked her!
Her.
Steve liked her.
Nancy was a girl, who Steve liked.
So Steve dressed up a little, put some extra effort in his hair. He brushed his teeth, put some cologne on. Then he had a drink because Hargrove's bullshit was still burning him. Steve picked up the clothes by the pool, Harry's stinging - Steve had cracked up when he jumped in the pool, laughed his ass off when he realized Harry wasn't a bad build for a swimmer, though he didn't have any idea how to do it at first.
Then Steve had another drink to burn away the stupid smile that popped up when he thought about how impressed Harry had been by Steve's dives.
Steve stuffed Harry's sweater under the passenger seat of his car, stashed his bottle of whatever Carol left at his house under his seat. The tips of Steve's fingers were kind of tingling, but he was fine to drive. He wanted to go see Nancy, who was a girl.
Maybe they'd make out. Maybe they'd do it in front of Hargrove's house.
The radio was off - Harry wasn't a big fan of music, noise in general - and Steve turned it all the way up. As loud as it would go. It wasn't too late that Steve would get called on for driving noisily, not yet.
God, but why was Hargrove such a dick? Seriously, what was his issue with Steve? Was he jealous? Jealous that Steve grew up with their classmates and he was the new kid? Maybe Hargrove was the queer, maybe that was why he was always pushing Steve, going out of his way to make contact.
Steve nodded to himself as he drove through streets that were familiar even if they were blurred some. He would need to remember that, point out to Hargrove that Steve wasn't the one always putting his hands on him.
Would it… be weird? Touching a guy? Would it feel the same? Harry probably had soft skin, soft lips…
Steve jerked the steering wheel hard to avoid a mailbox, over corrected and neatly took out a different mailbox. His heart was racing and he gripped the steering wheel extra hard to find a spot to pull over.
There was a gas station with only one other car and Steve pulled in behind the building so he could park and take another drink.
Why did he think that? Why did he think about how it would feel to kiss Harry? Steve didn't want to kiss Harry, he wasn't gay. He wasn't.
Steve needed to think about Nancy. He held the bottle in his hands and closed his eyes to picture it -
Nancy on his lap, her hands in his hair, nails scratching his scalp a little bit. Steve pulling her closer, brushing black hair away and —
No. Damn it.
"Damn it!" Steve slapped the steering wheel. God, why did Hargrove say that shit? It was his fault that Steve felt shaky and sick, it was his fault that Steve suddenly wondered how long he thought about - about —
He wasn't gay.
A little bit drunk, maybe. Not gay.
Steve stumbled inside the gas station to take a leak, grab a bottle of water. He asked for a pack of cigarettes at the counter, slurred a little too much, not that the cashier cared. Steve looked around while they grabbed the pack he asked for and saw some bouquets of flowers, just the thing for Ha — Nancy.
Steve added a dozen roses to his purchase. He hadn't seen Nancy in a few days, they'd make a decent apology gift. Steve would tell her he was sorry for getting distracted, swear it would never happen again, then they could make out in front of Hargrove's house - prove to him that Steve wasn't gay.
Maybe they'd have sex on the hood of his car. Sure, Steve would die, but what a way to go.
Would Harry show up at his funeral? Would he be sad? Would he miss Steve? Would he ever want to k—
Steve turned the radio up so loud that it shook the windows of his car and sang along to whatever song played on the radio.
"BILLIE JEAN IS NOT MY LOVER! SHE'S JUST A GIRL WHO CLAIMS THAT I AM THE ONE!!"
Steve meant to drink the water he bought and instead pulled up to Nancy's house with an empty bottle of liquor and a crack in his chest from all the bullshit. There was another car in the driveway, Byers car, he thought. It didn't matter, Byers could tell everyone that Steve kissed Nancy Wheeler and that he didn't kiss Harry Hammond.
What would it be like though? Why did it matter if Steve did want to kiss Harry,
Was - was he gay? Was Steve a fag?
"Disgusting."
Steve's dad was home, standing in the living room when Steve returned from school. Steve had been excited to see him, he traveled so much for work. Dad had been distracted by the news though so Steve patiently waited on the couch with his book of pages he drew.
Steve was making a comic book, a cool one. The hero had awesome hair and the best smile. His sidekick was his best friend and they did everything together - they beat up bad guys and went to the movies and saved the city before they went back to their secret hideout and stayed up late together watching TV.
The sidekick was awesome - he had long pretty hair and always hugged the hero when he was sad or lonely. He kind of looked like Brian May, or he was supposed to anyway. Brian was the best part of Queen, everyone knew that.
Steve looked up from where he was trying to get the hero's hair just right when his dad sounded angry.
"What's disgusting?" Steve asked.
Dad turned, like he just realized Steve was in the room. He glanced at the book open on Steve's lap and then pointed firmly at the TV. Steve didn't know what the big deal was, there were just a bunch of people on the news, holding signs and chanting.
"They repealed the sodomy law," Dad said. His face twisted up in disgust. "They're saying it's not a crime to be a faggot."
"Oh." Steve knew what being a faggot meant, it was when boys kissed boys. Tommy called him a faggot one day and Steve kicked him, but they were best friends afterwards.
"It's a sin," Dad said, ranting while Steve watched the TV in interest. "It's sure as hell illegal in the eyes of God."
Steve watched the news and the people holding signs were happy, they were all really happy. There were two men the camera kept showing and they were holding hands and laughing.
"What kind of idiots accept this kind of sickness?"
The men in the TV hugged and the camera moved away from them quickly, but Steve saw them kiss. Two men were kissing and Steve felt kind of sick.
"Idiots," Steve said quietly.
"Exactly," Dad nodded. He muted the TV and gave Steve a tired but nice smile. "What are you working on there, Champ?"
Steve closed his comic book, closed the scene where Captain Steve and Badass Brian were hugging after saving the city again.
"Nothing," Steve said, stuffing his book in his bag. "Do you - can we play ball?"
Dad practiced basketball with Steve for an hour before he had to go work in his office. When Steve got to his room he shoved his comic book under the bed and angrily ripped down his Queen posters.
"Nancy?" Steve knocked on Nancy's door with his flowers and he had to hold the edge of the door when he almost fell over.
Or maybe the world was tilting because Harry made it tilt and that was why Steve couldn't stand up right. Maybe Harry was changing the whole world and anyone would think about his smile when Steve told him he was a badass.
Or maybe —
The door flew open and Steve nearly fell inside.
"Steve?" Nancy didn't sound very happy about seeing Steve and, for some reason, it made him giggle. Plenty of other people liked seeing Steve.
Harry liked seeing him, he showed up at his house for no reason and called him to check on him. Harry brought his not-sister to Steve's, slept in his bed, and took his sweater off to jump in the pool with Steve.
Was that normal? Did Harry like Steve?
"Nancy." Steve smiled widely and shoved the flowers at Nancy. "I think I'm gay," he blurted out, loud and clumsy.
Yeah, Steve was probably gay - a fag, queer, homo, unnatural and disgusting.
It was the first time he ever said it out loud.
Steve's smile fell when he thought it over and over - gay, gay, gay. Why? Why Steve? Why did he have to be sick? His chest felt tight and the flip in his stomach made him want to actually be sick.
It was a joke, a sick, wrong, unnatural joke.
"I…"
Nancy's eyes doubled in size when the crack in Steve's chest ripped itself in half and he faltered on the excuse he was about to make. Everything was blurry and everything hurt.
Before Steve could stop himself, the rush of everything flew through the crack and he started sobbing, right on Nancy's porch.
"Nancy?" Jonathan hesitantly walked toward the front door, sure that it was time for him to go. He had seen Steve Harrington pull up and stumble out of his car with roses, he heard him yell for Nancy.
It was nice of Nancy to bring Jonathan's family a casserole, it was nice of her to invite Jonathan back to her place to get away from his house for a while.
But if Steve was there then it was time for Jonathan to go.
"Holy shit." Jonathan stepped up behind Nancy when he heard someone crying hysterically. Jonathan didn't know what he expected, but it definitely wasn't to see Steve bent in half, clutching the door frame for support, and sobbing.
Shit.
"What happened?" Jonathan asked, thinking of Harry. Was he missing? Jonathan had called the Chief of Police, Chief Hopper, when Sirianna never returned to tell him she found her brother. Hopper said Harry wasn't missing, he was out with friends.
Jonathan had gotten distracted by his mom and her mental breakdown, the hole she made in the house wall, her insistence that Will called her on the phone and lived in the walls.
But if Steve was there and he was crying…
"Um… everything's fine," Nancy said. Jonathan really hoped that Harry wasn't dead because it would make the quiet laughter in Nancy's voice really sick. "Can you help me get him inside? I think he's drunk."
Jonathan looked out at Steve's car that was parked crooked as hell, halfway on the sidewalk, then at Steve himself who was still crying his heart out.
"Yeah, alright," Jonathan agreed, more confused than anything else.
It was kind of insane, but he figured it wasn't as crazy as his mom taking an axe to the walls to rescue his missing brother.
"Byers…" Steve let Jonathan wrap an arm under his shoulders and he fell like dead weight on his side. His hand grabbed Jonathan's shirt tightly though and tried to help stumble through the doorway.
Steve's breath smelled like vodka and he was slurring his words hard. Jonathan wondered what made him get so trashed, then Steve explained pretty easily:
"I'm gay."
So it was kind of equally crazy to Jonathan's mom taking an axe to the house wall.