ang oa mo naman

stacey

Here we go again. It’s the middle of the quarter, so cue that boxing bell ‘cause this will definitely be a fight. It’s that time of the quarter where performance tasks are starting to be more crucial because of how each output slowly reveals what grade you’ll be getting. It’s also the time where teachers give us the class to actually do said performance tasks.

This quarter is special, almost all our subjects collaborate on a performance task. PROs? Less performance tasks to do. CONs? More difficult to execute. We’ve got two productions lined up: a Filipino and English play.

Natapos na naming irecheck ang mga test papers  namin at may oras pa kami. Kaya naman, binigay na ni Sir ang instructions para English play namin. Doon palang, ang dami nang kailangan gawin.

“Ok, we’ll start choosing those working behind the scenes. Stacey” tinawag ako ni Sir, kaya naman tumayo ako at lumapit sa kanya.

I’m the class secretary so, I brought a whiteboard marker with me knowing that I’ll be writing the roles on the board. Isa-isa niyang sinabi sa akin yung mga roles na pwede naming pag-usapan ngayon.

“For scriptwriters, we need three. Who wants to be a scriptwriter?” tanong ni Sir at dalawa lang ang nagtaas ng kamay.

Mag scriptwriter din kaya ako? Parang tatamarin akong gumawa ng mga props eh.

Sinulat ko na ang mga pangalan nila at sasabihin ko na sana kay Sir na magvvolunteer na rin ako sa scriptwriting kaso, dumeretso na siya sa susunod na role. Babalikan pa rin naman namin yan mamaya, there's no need to rush.

“Now that we’re on the higher positions, I want this to be democratic” Sir put emphasis on that last word.

That prompted me to move to the other side of the board for the nominations.

“The nominations for Stage Manager are now open, please raise your hand to be acknowledged” Sir said.

Nominations and appointments for each of the positions are slowly being made and cleared. Then finally, “I now open the nominations for the Director” our teacher finally said.

Ang tagal ko nang nakatayo dito. Mabilis nalang naman siguro ito, isa lang naman usually nagl-lead sa amin.

My classmate raised their hand, “I nominate Stacey Sevilleja for Director” sagot niya.

At first, ayaw ko pang isulat ang pangalan ko pero alam ko naman na hindi ako mananalo kaya pinabayaan ko nalang. 

Naghintay ako ng iba pang nominee, hindi pa natatawag si Luis — siya ang parating nagl-lead sa amin. The longer I stood there, the more nervous I got. Bakit walang nagn-nominate sa kanya?

May nagtaas ng kamay sa dulo. Phew, salamat sa Diyos.

“I close the nominations for Director” sabi niya.

Hindi ko pa na-process yung sinabi niya, may nagmadaling nagtaas ng kamay, “I second the motion” nakatayo lang ako doon, di ko alam kung anong gagawin.

HAH? Kailan ba ako naging leader sa mga production? Never pa nila akong nakita mag-lead kasi wala pa akong experience sa ganito.

Tinignan ko si Luis na nakangiti sa akin. 

Anong trip kaya nito at paano niya nahila buong klase namin?

Sir then proceeded to ask us what genre we’d like our play to be. He gave us reminders before talking about it. He wants it Rated PG, nothing too much as it will be shown as part of the upcoming English Month celebrations.

The class voted for the genre and of course, they want something in the action realm. I looked at the scriptwriters and they seemed pretty stoked about it, so I wasn’t too worried. Para sa akin, kung motivated ka, naniniwala akong maganda ang kinalabasan nito.

“That’s all for today, please finalize what your plot is for this play by next week, Stacey” Sir addressed, to which I nodded.

Ok, sige. Uhm let’s figure it out as we go siguro. Nandito na tayo and it's too late to back out now. 

Tinawag ko ang Assistant Director and Scriptwriters namin, “Gagawa nalang ako ng GC mamaya pag uwi. Ok lang ba sa inyo na mag-usap tayo ng konti during break?” tanong ko sa kanila, they agreed to it.

Bumalik na kami sa upuan namin at nandiyan na ang susunod naming teacher.

~~~

Break finally came, one last class after this and we’re done for the day. Tinawag ko sa may gilid ng classroom ang Assistant Director at Scriptwriters namin.

We talked about the scriptwriters’ ideas so far and have agreed on the stereotypical hero plot line. Gusto rin daw nila na maglagay ng konting romance para naman makuha namin ang atensyon ng mga manonood namin. I agreed to the idea for as long as the romance they put isn’t going to be forced in the plot.

Nag-usap pa kami tungkol sa ibang mga detalye, at nang matapos, 15 mins nalang ang natira para sa break ko. Bumalik na ako sa upuan ko, I sat and sighed hard.

Lumingon ako sa katabi ko na may tinitignan sa notebook niya, “Gwen, samahan mo ako sa canteen please” hinawakan ko braso niya at nagmamakaawa kong sinabi.

“Sige, kunin ko lang wallet ko” sagot niya. Sinara niya ang notebook niya, kinuha ang wallet niya at sinamahan ako sa canteen. 

Habang nasa pila, “Sandwich at Real Leaf lang ba sa iyo?” tanong niya sa akin.

Paano niya nalaman na yun bibilhin ko? Mind reader kaya ito? HALA? Naririnig niya ba ako ngayon?

Tumingin ako sa kanya, “o mas gusto mo yung balut?”

May balut?! Mabilisan ko namang hinanap kung meron at baka nakaligtaan ko lang sa pagod. Matapos ng ilang tingin, nakita ko meron ngang balut doon sa may gilid. Minsan lang kasi may balut dito kaya kapag meron, bibili talaga ako.

“Balut nalang sa akin, Gwen. Ito oh” inabot ko sa kanya ang bayad ko at kinuha niya naman.

Masaya akong umupo sa isang table habang naghihintay. Naiisip ko palang ang balut na makakain ko parang nawala na ang pagod na naramdaman ko kanina. Kung saan saan na ako tumitingin kasi wala na akong ibang magawa, bawal ko namang ilabas ang phone ko. Pagala gala ang mga mata ko hanggang tumapat sila sa likod ni Gwen habang nasa pila siya.

Who would’ve thought I’d get close to you?

This would be the first time I had Gwen as a classmate. She’s really quiet and honestly, I didn’t even know she was our batchmate until this year. I don’t believe I’ve ever seen her during the past 2 years. Big fault on my end for sure. I mean look at her? Kung bakit hindi ko pa siya napansin noon is one of life’s great mysteries. 

It’s mind racking to think that I’ve never seen her once, but now she’s my literal best friend.

I first saw her on the first day but I hadn’t met her until the second week. We were seatmates ever since the first time I saw her, it was our adviser that made our seating arrangement. But since none of our teachers did the whole “Introduce Yourself” Agenda, I just knew her by her last name.

It was only until the second week, when we started talking to each other; that I learned her name. We had a pair activity in Science that catalyzed it. Since she was the one next to me, she became my automatic partner. It was then I knew I hit the jackpot. I know she’s smart, I often hear her whispering the answers under her breath every time any of our teachers had a question. But as we did our activity, I also learned that she was actually really funny — just my humor. So ever since then, we talked A LOT.

And it’s safe to say she, despite being totally unexpected, became one of the best people I got to be close with this year.

“Ang lalim naman ng iniisip mo, Stacey” sabi ng isang boses kaya bumalik na ako sa realidad.

Tinignan ko siya, “Anong kailangan mo, Luis?” tanong ko.

Umupo naman siya sa tabi ko pero masyado siyang malapit kaya umusog ako ng konti.

“Baka lang naman gusto mo nang sagutin ang tanong ko sa iyo last week” sagot niya at pinilit niyang lumapit ulit sa akin.

Ah, last week. Muntik ko nang makalimutan. Hinarangan niya ang pinto ng classroom namin kaya hindi ako makalabas. Gusto niya raw ako kausapin pero mukhang di niya naman ako bibigyan ng choice kung di makinig sa sasabihin niya.

Nag-confess, tinanong niya kung pwede niya raw ako ligawan. Salamat nalang sa Diyos hinila ako ng isang kaklase namin, kaya hindi ko siya nasagot.

“Ah tungkol doon…” at inilayo ko ulit ang sarili ko sa kanya.

“Hin–”

“Stacey, tara na” medyo nagpipigil ng galit ang tono ng nagsabi kaya napatingin ako kung kanino nanggaling yon.

Is this the universe asking me to give him a chance or is this the universe telling me not to break his heart right now?

Sumunod naman agad ako na para bang naka-autopilot ako at maglalakad na sana kami paalis nang hinawakan ko ang braso niya, “Sandali lang, Gwen. Kailangan ko nang sabihin sa kanya” bumalik naman ako kung saan nakaupo pa rin si Luis.

Napangiti siya nung nakita niya akong pabalik. Nakakairita tignan. He’s a good leader, he gets the job done. Pero as a person? I don’t really like the way he treats people, especially the girls.

“Hindi kita papayagan na ligawan ako, Luis. Kaya please itigil mo na yang pagka-good boy mo, di bagay” nawala naman ang ngiti niya.

Tumalikod na ako, hindi ko na kailangan marinig kung ano pa ang gusto niya sa akin. Babalikan ko pa si Gwen, este yung balut ko kay Gwen.

“Anyare dun? Anong kinailangan mong sabihin sa kanya at biglang parang may galit siya sa iyo?” tanong ni Gwen habang inaabot sa akin yung balut.

Kaya kinuwento ko sa kanya lahat. Nakalimutan ko palang ikwento sa kanya yung nangyari last week kasi test week namin kaya di talaga siya priority. Kung di niya pinaalala kanina, hindi ko siguro matatandaan na nangyari pala yon.

“Ang taas naman pala ng tingin niya sa sarili” Gwen said after I told her everything which made me laugh.

“Hoy, wag ka nga may mga babae kayang naffall sa ganyang mga galawan niya” 

At never ko silang na-gets, sa totoo lang.

“Buti nalang di ka ganon. Di talaga kita kauusapin ulit pag nalaman kong nabulag ka sa galawan niya” nanginig siya at natawa nanaman ako.

“Ang OA mo naman. Ngayon ko lang nakita itong side mo na ito ah? I want her out often” we went into the classroom and sat down on our seats.

“Nahahawa na ata ako sayo, pero nope, ngayon lang ito kasi nandidiri talaga ako kay Luis” sinabi niya at tumawa.

“Pag gusto, dapat di bulag” pabulong niyang sinabi.

I looked at her and it seemed like she didn’t say anything, peacefully eating her sandwich. Di niya ata napansin na nasabi niya ang mga iniisip niya, kaya kunwari di ko nalang narinig.

Anong ibig sabihin niyan, Gwen?

~~~

It’s the last few weeks of rehearsals for our English play. As much as I love that Gwen was chosen by the class to become the Heroine, it’s been weeks of rehearsal and I still don’t know why they’ve chosen her.

I was sick the day they chose the cast, they held a mini audition then but for obvious reasons, hindi ko napanood. Naniniwala lang ako sa judgement nila pero Gwen isn’t giving me anything to work with here.

Ngayon palang kami makakapag-full rehearsal kasi katatapos lang namin i-run through lahat ng details na dapat mangyari sa play. It was weeks of working on specific scenes just so that we get to see it fully now.

One of the scenes I was worried about starts. It’s when the subtle hint of romance comes into the plot.

Hindi makuha ni Kaye, kaklase namin, yung vibe noon pa at talagang inulit ulit namin siya hanggang nakuha niya na. Isang beses niya lang nakuha nun, wala na kasi kaming oras kaya pinabayaan muna namin. Kaso, ngayon na may rehearsal kami, absent naman siya.

I walk into the scene. The ambient sound of the carnival playing at the right moment. Gwen’s character was with Joe, who plays Hayden, her love interest, in one of our imaginary carnival game stands.

I walked up to them and caressed Joe’s back, “I didn’t expect to see you here, Hayden” I said in a flirtatious manner. He shifted uncomfortably.

Great acting, Joe. I’d love to see more of that.

“Hi to you too, Nira” he steps closer to Gwen, who looks visibly annoyed and pissed.

Oh damn? Is this what they saw during the auditions?

“We’re just about to go. Right, Carrie?” he looked at her tenderly.

Is it just me taking on this character or that look is really just so genuine? Either or, it’s disgusting.

“Yeah, see you Nira” she chirped.

THAT SWITCH UP IS INSANE?

Joe starts going off screen and Gwen was going to follow him as written on the script until Kaye’s character pulls her back. Joe’s off the scene already and Gwen looked at me confused.

Right on script the music changes.

“I know you guys are best friends but you should know what I do to people that stop me from getting what I want” I delivered her line.

“And that is?” she feigned innocence.

“I make their life a living hell, Carrie. Maybe you forgot what I did to that foreign girl last year” I threatened her and she smiled at me.

“Aw, it sucks that I don’t even get the chance to influence him” she teased.

“You should know you’re doing enough to hurt your chances with Hayden” she delivered perfectly.

She was hiding all of this during our practices. What the hell, Gwen?

“Whether you’ll like it or not, he’ll be mine” I answer back, stepping closer to her.

“And whether YOU like it or not” she closed our gap, there’s barely an inch between our noses at this point.

Pag gusto, dapat di bulag

Her words lingered in my mind. I tried not to get flustered by that. But as the mind always plays tricks, it felt the need to make a montage of all the instances she seemed to know me better than I do. The proximity we had was not helping one bit either and I felt my face heating up.

Hoy bat may epekto ito sayo, Stacey? It’s a scene for goodness sake.

“What’s mine will always come back to me” she smirks, tucks the loose hair behind my ear, holds my chin and swipes her hand away.

WHAT IN THE NAME OF THE GOOD LORD IS THIS?

I stood there frozen, until she walks out of the scene. That’s when I came back to my senses. Nagdabog ako paalis ng scene.

Habang puso ko naman ay malakas ding nagdadabog sa dibdib ko.

The rest of the rehearsal was great. Ang galing ng acting nila lahat. Paminsan-minsan sasabak ako sa scene na may script, to fill in Kaye’s character. But overall, nakaka-amaze sila. Lahat sila talagang in character kanina.

Then Gwen came to mind.

Gweneth Apuli, you’ve ignited something in me that I did not know I’ve kept hidden. Was that all an act or were your eyes telling me the truth?