Summer, 1978
James stepped out of the car - the four of them had decided to rent an old van while the girls had settled on, well, a normal car - and took a deep breath, stretching out his arms as though to embrace his surroundings. Feeling the mountain air clear and sharp, almost melting into the landscape. Yes, this vacation was most definitely one of Padfoot’s better ideas.
“It’s this tiny village in central Europe,” he had said, eyes aglow with passion. “The only full-time residents are these two old squib families, and most of the houses were built by muggles. Purebloods used to go there all the time, before France and skiing and shit like that got fashionable that is.” Remus had raised an eyebrow at that.
“A retreat for purebloods? Aren’t they going to be a problem?” Sirius shook his head.
“No, you don’t get it - no pureblood family has been there in like ten years.” He fiddled with the wand in his hand. “I’m friends with one of the families there, they haven’t had any visitors in ages - it’s absolutely perfect!” James and Peter had agreed, and it had only been a matter of time before they had convinced Lily, Marlene and Mary to join them. They made the necessary plans, paid for the cars and cottage (well, the Potters paid - they liked the idea of the boys getting out of the house and having fun together), and made the trip.
And now? Now they were here - James was standing in front of the small, muggle cottage, nestled between the mountains, miles from anyone who could possibly want anything from them, the closest house supposedly not for miles. Complete privacy. Freedom. Peace. He snapped himself out of his thoughts and went to help Remus with the trunks.
—
“I call dibs on the room with the balcony!” Mary shrieked down from the second floor. James chuckled. He had already chosen his room - the one with the east-side window, so he could watch the sunrise.
“Go for it, bitch, mine and moony’s room is already the best!” Sirius shouted out from where he sat on the high table.
“You're sharing?” Peter asked, mouth already full with one of the puddings Effie had packed them.
“Obviously.” Sirius looked over at him. “Why wouldn't we?” Peter shrugged.
“Just curious is all.” He walked out of the kitchen and towards the stairs. “Try to keep it down though. I'm next door and I really don't want a repeat of Paris.” Moony choked on his tea, blushing slightly as Wormtail disappeared upstairs. Sirius groaned.
“Honestly, what is that guy's problem?”
“Oh, don't be too hard on him Siri,” James smiled. “He’s just a bit lonely I think. We all feel it sometimes, when the two of you are so…”
“Gay?”
“In love.”
“Ah, that.” Sirius nodded solemnly. Remus shoved him.
“What I mean to say is, I get it. Worms hasn't had what you two have. Heck, I don't know anyone who has what you two do.”
“Oh come on, what about you and that ravenclaw girl in sixth year?” Remus pointed out. James shook his head.
“Verity was just a friend.”
“We caught the two of you in a wardrobe together.”
“A very close friend?” Padfoot laughed. James plastered on a grin. “It's fine lads, I'm not looking for anything serious right now.”
“That's valid.” Remus nodded. “Remember I'm here for you though. Your gay werewolf godmother, eh?”
“His WHAT?” Sirius asked, with an air of mock shock.
“Just an inside joke pads,” James waved it off. Sirius gasped audibly, furthering the feign surprise.
“Oh, so now the two of you have jokes together??” He shook his head. “I see how it is.”
“How what is, love?” Remus asked with a creeping smile.
“Well isn't it obvious?” Sirius sighed dramatically. “You're cheating on me with Prongsie!” James burst out laughing, and Remus and Sirius joined in soon later.
“Alright, I'll catch you guys in a bit.” James said, turning towards the exit. “Got to go on my afternoon run, you know how it is.”
“Of course.” Sirius nodded solemnly. “Got to keep up that quidditch physique, eh? Now that we won't have it in school.”
“Still can't wrap my head around that yet.” James shook his head, tying up his trainers and opening the front door. “See you guys later?” Remus waved him off. James stepped out into the warm summer air.
—
James let himself breathe properly again. The steady rhythm of his feet hitting the asphalt road like a metronome, keeping him tethered to his body, keeping him centred. Keeping him safe.
It wasn’t that he didn’t enjoy being with his friends, that absolutely wasn’t the case - not at all. He loved being with them, if he didn’t he wouldn’t have come on this trip. It was just… well. He couldn’t properly explain it, not even to himself. It seemed, sometimes, as though he was an actor. Yes, that was a good way to explain it. An actor - and each setting that he inserted himself into, he donned a new character, a new persona to be, someone that could always put others at ease. He was only fully himself here - on his runs, alone. It was only here that he could properly breathe.
James kept running. After a short while, his breathing levelled with his pace, and the pain passed him by - this was his favourite moment of every run - and running became as natural as breathing, laughing, falling in love… James shook the last thought off. Now wasn’t the time to think, to wonder why he didn’t find anyone he’d want to spend his life with, why he felt so terribly alone. Now wasn’t the time for that. Now he was supposed to run.
The place that Sirius had chosen for their summer trip this year was undoubtedly beautiful, James had to give him that. The sky was a dazzling blue, brighter than anything Godric Hollow had to offer, the roads well cared for, and the mountains themselves - beautiful. Covered in evergreen trees, with the odd oak or maple spotted somewhere in between, framing the horizon beautifully. James had hopes to climb one of them one day. A swallow flew just above his head, a little river trickled by the side of the road. It was truly beautiful.
And then - James saw another beautiful thing. A person. A person in front of a cottage, one eerily similar to theirs - the balcony was on the other side though. Not the same. A person sitting on the boot of a car, smoking a cigarette, that the person balanced so gently and gracefully between their fingers, it could be an art form. A person with wavy, black hair that surrounded their face like a crown or a dark halo, a stark contrast to their smooth, perfectly pale skin. And behind that halo, James saw a flicker of green eyes - like emeralds, glowing and full of life. He tripped on a rock and stopped abruptly, awoken from his fascination by the sensation of gravel brushing on his face.
The person walked towards his body, sprawled across the road, as James slowly picked himself up. The person threw an ounce of shade onto James with his own frame, and he didn’t want to leave it. Or at least, he didn’t until he heard the person speak.
“Potter?” Regulus Black’s silky voice moved through the air towards the other boy’s ears, both of them full of surprise and confusion. “What are you doing here?” James sprung up quickly and dusted himself off. A voice he only recognised from overhearing conversations between him and Sirius, a face he never properly had the chance to look at. He took that chance now - taking in every detail. He looked so similar to Sirius - and yet, so different. So much… softer.
“Reggie?” James blinked confusedly.
“That’s me.” Regulus crossed his arms across his chest. “Are you going to answer the question?”
“Reg!” Barty’s voice flowed through the air, followed by his body as he left the cottage. “What’s been holding you…” he looked at James. “Oh. What are you doing here?”
“Sorry to bother.” James rubbed the back of his neck. “I just… went out on a run. We’re staying in a cottage pretty similar to this one, just up the road.”
“Who’s we?” Barty inquired. Regulus stayed silent.
“Well me, Sirius, Remus, Peter,” James started. “And then also Mary, Lily and Marlene.”
“Wow.” Barty shook his head. “All of Gryffindor Tower, eh?”
“Not all of us.” He smiled awkwardly. “Just some friends.” He nodded over at the cottage. “What about you two? Is it just you?” Regulus shook his head.
“It’s me, Barty, Evan, Pandora and Dorcas.” Regulus said. “Just the five of us.”
“Oh.” James nodded. “You should… uh… come over some time. For a barbeque or something of the kind. If you’d like to, of course.”
“I thought you hated Slytherins.” Regulus tilted his head. James felt a drop of sweat roll down his neck.
“Oh no, not at all.” he shook his head. “No, I just like beating you up in quidditch, is all.” That earned a slight chuckle from Regulus. James feared that his heart might explode.
“We’ll consider it.” Barty said, turning to Regulus. “Come on then, we’ve got trunks to unpack.”
“Bye then.” James waved at the two of them as they walked into the cottage, Regulus closing the door behind them. Just one more second of eye contact - of those beautiful green eyes gazing into his own. He was once more alone on the road. He looked back at his track, and kept running.