Chapter 10
After that, things quieted down again for a while. Christmas break just around the corner, the last Hogwarts weekend afforded the perfect opportunity for some last-minute Christmas shopping and Minerva and Filius had invited Holly to join them for a drink in the Three Broomsticks. Hagrid, too had come along. When they had entered, Holly could have sworn she had seen Harry’s messy hair vanish below the table Ron and Hermione were sitting at. But now, strangely, the table was covered by a Christmas tree. Smiling a little, Holly took the drink Madam Rosmerta had just brought her. Watching as Fudge, who unfortunately had joined them, explain why he had come to Hogsmead.
“Do you think Black’s still in the area, Minister?”, Rosmerta whispered, more curious than concerned.
Fudge shrugged, but his expression determined as he confirmed.
“You know that the Dementors have searched my pup twice?”, the slight edge in her voice made it clear, she wasn’t much of a fan either, “Scared all of my customers away… it’s very bad for business, Minister.”
“Rosmerta, m’dear, I don’t like them any more than you do.”, the Minister said and Holly had to do not to role her eyes, both at his assurance and the m’dear, which always made her skin prickle uncomfortably, “Necessary precaution… unfortunate, but there you are… I’ve just met some of them. They’re in a fury against Dumbledore – he won’t let them inside the castle grounds.”
“I should think not”, Minerva said sharply, giving the minister a cool look, “How are we supposed to teach with those horrors floating around?”
“Hear, hear”, Filius agreed, and Holly nodded, too.
“All the same”, Fudge demurred, not happy about the objections, “they are here to protect you all from something much worse … we all know what Black’s capable of…”
That was yet to be determined, Holly thought, but could hardly dispute the Minister of Magic on what everyone believed to be fact.
“Do you know, I still have trouble believing it,” Rosmerta said, which made her all the more likable, “Of al the people to go over to the Dark side, Sirius Black was the last I’d have thought… I mean, I remember him when he was a boy at Hogwarts. If you’d told me then what he was going to become, I’d have said you’d had too much mead.”
“You don’t know the half of it, Rosmerta”, Fudge said gruffly, to which Holly nearly responded with ‘Neither do you.’, because that was the truth. She had read the court file. Fair trail, yeah, right. All the witnesses had been muggles, all of which were mostly confused and soon later had had their memories erased, not very reliable. Aside from that, their only proof had been that Sirius had been laughing like a madman when he was arrested. He’d never admitted to it. But the wizardgamott hadn’t cared. They had sentence him to life in Azkaban. “The worst he did isn’t widely known.”
“The worst?”, Rosmerta didn’t even try to hide her curiosity, “Worse than murdering all those poor people, you mean?”
“I certainly do.”
“I can’t believe that. What could possibly be worse?”
Holly knew what was coming next and it made her angry. Not only that they were discussing it so causally over drinks, where students could very well overhear her, one of them being Harry, who was probably still sitting under the next table, but that they considered the death of twelve innocent people secondary to him allegedly betraying his friends. Yes, James and Lily were dead. Yes, apparently because Sirius had sold out his best friend, his brother, to Voldemort. But how could Fudge call that worse than murdering twelve innocent muggles? How could the Minister of Magic have so little regard for human life?
“You say you remember him at Hogwarts, Rosmerta”, Minerva murmured, trying to keep her voice from being overheard, “Do you remember who his best friend was?”
“Naturally. Never saw one without the other, did you? The number of times I had them in here – ooh, they used to make me laugh. Quite the double at, Sirius Black and James Potter.”
Behind the Christmas tree, there was a loud clank. Oh, she’d have a lot to explain to Harry for not having told him this before.
“Precisely. Black and Potter. Ringleader of their little gang. Both very bright, of course, exceptionally bright, in fact – but I don’t think we’ve ever had such a pair of troublemakers.”
“I dunno”, Hagrid interjected, “Fred and Goerge Weasley could give ‘em a run for their money.”
“You’d have thought Black and Potter were brothers”, Filius chimed in, “Inseparable.”
“Of course they were. Potter trusted Black beyond all his other friends. Nothing changed when they left school. Black was best man when James married Lily. Then they named him godfather to Harry. Harry has no idea, of course. You can imagine how the idea would torment him.”
What was the man thinking? Airing all of this in such a public place.
“Because Black turned out to be in league with You-Know-Who?”
“Worse even then that”, Fudge dropped his voice even more, “Not many people are aware that the Potters knew You-Know-Who was after them. Dumbledore, who was of course working tirelessly against You-Know-Who, had a number of useful spies. One of them tipped him off, and he alerted James and Lily at once. He advised them to go into hiding. Well, You-Know-Who wasn’t an easy person to hide from. Dumbledore told them that their best chance was the Fidelius Charm.”
“How does that work?”
“An immensely complex spell”, Filius explained, switching into teacher voice, “involving the magical concealment of a secret inside a single, living soul. The information is hidden inside the chosen person, or Secret Keeper, and is henceforward impossible to find – unless, of course, the Secret Keeper chooses to divulge it. As long as the Secret Keeper refuses to speak, You-Know-Who could search the village where Lily and James were staying for years and never find them, not even if he had his nose pressed against their sitting-room window!”
“So Black was the Potter’s Secret Keeper?”, Rosmerta whispered, horrified.
“Naturally. James Potter told Dumbledore that Black would die rather than tell where they were, that Black was planning to go into hiding himself… and yet, Dumbledore remained worried. I remember him offering to be the Potter’s Secret Keeper himself.”
Sure he had, never trusting anyone besides himself. James had declined, instead Sirius would never betray him. And, even after everything, Holly was still inclined to side with James on that.
“He suspected Black?”
No he hadn’t. Not once had he voiced this concern to either James or her. No matter what he said now, when James and Lily had been deciding on their Secret Keeper, Dumbledore had never once said he distrusted Sirius.
“He was sure that somebody close to the Potters had been keeping You-Know-Who informed of their movements.”, personally, Holly had always been inclined to believe it might be Peter, “Indeed, he had suspected for some time that someone on our side had turned traitor and was passing a lot of information to You-Know-Who.”
“But James Potter insisted on using Black?”
He hadn’t actually. After a lot of debate, the four of them had agreed to use Ellie rather than Sirius, would have used Remus, had it not been for his affliction. But then Ellie hadn’t returned from a mission about three months before Harry’s first birthday, which unfortunately meant that she had no way of knowing if Sirius really had become the Secret Keeper.
“He did.”, Fudge said heavily, “And then, barely a month after the Fidelius charm had been performed -”
“Black betrayed them?”
“He indeed did. Black was tired of his double-agent role he was ready to declare his support openly for You-Know-Who, and he seems to have planned this for the moment of the Potter’s death.”
Holly clenched and unclenched his fist several times, trying not to show her anger. This all was a whole lot of speculation and very little proof.
“But, as we all know, You-Know-Who met his downfall in little Harry Potter. Powers gone, horribly weakened, he fled. And this left Black in a very nasty position indeed. His master had fallen the very moment when he, Black, had shown his true colours as a traitor. He had no choice but to run for it -”
Yeah, because the ministry hadn’t left him with a choice, hadn’t given him the chance to explain what had really happened. The fact that they hadn’t used the options available to them during the hearing was still the main reason Holly struggled with believing it.
“I met him! I musta bin the last ter see him before he killed all them people.”, Hagrid growled, much to Holly’s surprise. She hadn’t known that. “It was me what rescued Harry from Lily an’ James’ house after they was killed! Jus’ got him outta the ruins, poor little thing, with a great slash across his forehead, an’ his parents dead… an’ Sirius Black turns up, on that flying motorbike he used for a ride.”
Sirius had loved that thing, tinkering with it in every spare minute. Holly had sometimes wondered what had happened to it.
“Never occurred ter me what he was doin’ there.”
What did Hagrid think he was doing there? Checking on his family, for crying out loud!
“I didn’ know he’d bin Lily an’ James’ Secret Keeper. Thought he’d jus’ heard the news o’ You-Know-Who’s attack an’ come ter see what he could do. White an’ shakin’ he was. An’ yeh know what I did? I COMFORTED A MURDERIN’ TRAIROR!”, Hagrid roared and Minerva shushed him.
Holly welcomed the little interruption, trying to steady her emotions. She could easily imagine the pain Sirius had to have been in, finding out two of his best friends were dead. Because the more she listened to these people accusing him, the less she believed it. She knew Sirius. She was certain she did. He was no death eater. And certainly no traitor. There was nothing he had valued above loyalty.
“How was I ter know he wasn’t upset abou’ Lily and James? It was You-Know-Who he cared abou’! An’ then he says ‘Give Harry ter me, Hagrid, I’m his godfather, I’ll look after him-’ Ha! But I’d had orders from Dumbledore, an’ I told Black no, Dumbledore said Harry was ter go ter his aunt an’ uncle’s.”
So Sirius had been there that night, trying to take Harry. Trying to do what he had promised James he would. Holly tried not to resent Hagrid for taking Harry to Petunia anyways, but she couldn’t help the bitter taste in her mouth, thinking about the coming years Harry had spent unloved and mistreated.
“Black argued, but in the end he gave in. Told me ter take his motorbike ter get Harry there. ‘I won’t need it any more’, he says. Shoulda known there was somethin’ fishy goin’ on then. He loved that moterbike, what was he givin’ it ter me for? Why wouldn’ he need it any more? Fact was, it was too easy ter trace. Dumbledore know he’d been Secret Keeeper. Black know he was goin’ ter have ter run fer it that night, knew it was a matter o’ hours before the ministry was after him.”
A long silence followed, thoughts were racing through Holly’s head, none of them making much sense.
“But he didn’t manage to disappear, did he? The Ministry of Magic caught up with him the next day!”, Rosmerta said, with some satisfaction.
“Alas, if only we had.”, Fudge sounded bitter, which was understandable, seeing how long Sirius had eluded him now, “It was not we who found him. It was little Petter Pettigrew – another of the Potter’s friends. Maddened by grief, no doubt, and knowing that Black had been the Potter’s Secret Keeper, he went after Black himself.”
“Pettigrew… that fat little boy who was always tagging around after them at Hogwarts?”
“Hero-worshipped Potter and Black. Never quite in their league, talent wise. I was often rather sharp with him. You can imagine how I – how I regret that now…”
“There, now, Minerva, Pettigrew died a heroe’s death. Eye-witnesses – Muggles, of course, we wiped their memories later – told us how Pettigrew cornered Black. They say he was sobbing, ‘Lily and James, Sirius! How could you” and then he went for his wand. Well, of course, Black was quicker. Blew Pettigrew into smittereens…”
A sudden thought made Holly clasp her hand over her mouth, but considering the horrid story Fudge had just told, no one second guessed it. But Holly wasn’t shocked by what the minister had said. She was much more shocked by the idea that had just come to her. And idea so ludicrous, she at first didn’t want to believe it. They had never even considered Peter…. But James always had been a fan of doing what nobody expected him to do. And really, no one would ever have expected him to chose Peter. But what if he had? What if that was why Sirius had been arrested laughing like crazy? Because he had just killed the man responsible. And since he had now lost everything and everyone, he had never bothered to explain…. It was a mad idea, completely ludicrous. So then why did it feel more like the truth than what she had just heard? Because she was incapable of accepting Sirius’ betrayal? Was she grasping for straws?
“Is it true he’s mad, Minister?”
Around her the conversation had continued.
“I wish I could say that he was. I certainly believe his master’s defeat unhinged him for a while. The murder of Pettigrew and all those Muggles was the action of a cornered and desperate man – cruel … pointless. Yet I met Black on my last inspection of Azkaban. You know, most of the prisoners in there sit muttering to themselves in the dark, there’s no sense in them… but I was shocked at how normal Black seemed. He spoke quite rationally to me. It was unnerving. You’d have thought he was merely bored – asked if I’d finished with my newspaper, cool as you please, said he missed doing the crossword. Yes, I was astonished at how little effect the Dementors seemed to be having on him – and he was one of the most heavily guarded in the place, you know. Dementors outside his door, day and night.”
Why didn’t that surprise Holly? Because if there was one person she could see looking cool even in Azkaban, it was Sirius. After some more discussion on what Sirius was planning now, all of them as senseless as the rest of the conversation seemed to Holly, the others got up, but Holly didn’t.
“Aren’t you coming, Holly?”
“Go ahead, Minerva. I think I need a moment to digest all this.”
A soft expression on her face, Minerva nodded, before following the others out. Once they had left, Holly rose, moving around Christmas tree, to where Hermione and Ron were sitting, chalky white, looking at her nervously as she stood there, looking at them for a moment.
“Once you have returned to the castle, meet me in my study. All three of you.”
Both of them nodded, scared and confused. Holly turned around, heading back to Hogwarts and to her study, where soon later Harry, Ron and Hermione appeared.
“Please sit down.”
Waiting until they were seated, Holly sighed heavily.
“You were very much not supposed to hear about this. Especially not like that. I should have told you when you asked this summer.”
Looking among themselves, all three of them were beyond confused, not having any clue what she was talking about.
“I have a couple of confessions to make, Harry, and I have to ask you to keep them to yourself. Some of them no one but me knows, and I would like to keep it that way. You two, I know, Harry’ll share it with either way, so I prefer you hear it here and then not discuss it outside these walls again. I assume I can trust you?”
All three nodded, utterly befuddled.
“Holly McIntosh is a lie, she never existed, far as I can tell. I made her up to be able to stay close to you, Harry, keep an eye on you. I never fully trusted Dumbledore after he let one of my friends die because it would have inconvenience him to safe her, and after he took you away from me, or well, didn’t let me take you, I suppose I should say, I decided I didn’t want you left entirely to his fancy. Until you went to Hogwarts, that was rather easy, although Petunia is a piece of work. But when your 11th birthday neared I had to get creative, so I came up with this. Being a teacher here enabled me to keep an eye on you, make sure Dumbledore wasn’t left entirely unsupervised.”
For a moment, the three stared at her, unable to process what she was saying, then realization dawned on Harry’s face.
“Ellie?”
Shrugging sheepishly, Holly confirmed.
“I am truly sorry for lying to you, sweety, but I couldn’t risk Dumbledore finding out.”
“Then why are you telling him now? What changed?”
“Fudge and his inability to shut his mouth when he doesn’t know something for certain.”
“Wait, you don’t think Black is innocent, do you?”
“Oh, I am beginning to think he did commit the crimes he was incarcerated for. Just not for the reasons everyone thinks.”
“He was the boyfriend you told me about.”
“What!?”, Hermione’s voice rang shrilly through the room, but Holly could understand her.
“You told me he had allegedly betrayed you. You didn’t tell me he was the one to sell out my parents.”
“I did not. But I still don’t believe it.”
“Because I’d know if Ron turned death eater…”
Ron looked back and forth between them, utter bewilderment on his face from just the suggestion of turning to the Dark side.
“I’d never do that!”
“The point was that James or I would have noticed if someone we were that close with had changed allegiance. Unless, of course, people think Sirius had been a death eater already when he stated school.”
“So, you think the Ministry is wrong and they sent an innocent man to prison?”, Hermione sounded sceptical, which made Holly smile. She liked Hermione, especially for her critical thinking skills, which was something Harry occasionally lacked.
“I read the files on the recoding of the trial. There was no proof other than speculation and what Dumbledore thought to be the truth.”
“But there were witnesses!”
“For the killing of the thirteen people, yes. Muggles, whose memory was wiped before Sirius ever saw a judge. But that’s not what I am talking about. I am talking about Sirius being Secret Keeper.”
“Dumbledore says Black was Secret Keeper.”
“Well, even if he likes to think so, Dumbledore isn’t all-knowing. James, Lily, Sirius and I had discussed our options for a long time. Because, yes, Dumbledore suspected someone to spy on us. So we thought it was a good idea to keep things as quiet as possible. Everyone was supposed to think Sirius was Secret Keeper, but in reality it should have been me. But then I…”, now was probably a good time to put all her card on the table, coming clean with Harry, “I got captured during a mission and couldn’t do it.”
“You got captured?!”, that distracted Harry quite definitely from Sirius and his possible betrayal, “What happened?”
“It’s a long story that I don’t like telling. But the gist of it is, I was captured and held prisoner by death eaters from May 1981 to December ’83. That’s why I wasn’t there when your parents died, why I wasn’t there to take you in. And also, why I wasn’t there when they needed a Secret Keeper. I don’t know who they chose, maybe they did chose Sirius after all, but I don’t think they did.”
“You think someone else betrayed them.”
“Yes.”
“Who? Who would his parents have trusted enough to make their Secret Keeper?”
“I don’t know, but I think Sirius thought it was Peter. That’s why he killed him. I can’t possibly know if he was right or not. But It would explain a few things.”
“Things like what? What could Black murdering his friend and twelve muggle possibly explain?”
“Why he was laughing like a lunatic when he was arrested, why he didn’t try to run after that, why he never bothered to explain. Doesn’t it seem odd to you that a man that had just murdered thirteen people to ensure his freedom didn’t even try to run from the Ministry? That he just stood there, laughing, allowing them to arrest him?”
“I… it is a bit strange, I suppose.”
“Harry, sweetheart, I cannot possibly tell you what to think, I don’t know what’s true anymore than you do, but I am begging you to think for yourself. And to not believe a word Cornelius Fudge says. That man would do anything to ensure his position.”
Harry nodded, very overwhelmed.
“Alright, then. Go ahead. Once you’ve taken it all in and are ready to yell at me, you know where to find me.”