don't leave me hangin' alone again
Heat. Sirius breathes out, his breath lingering and warm as it dances across Remus’s chest, seeping through the open buttons of his shirt. Sirius’ arm twitched as he squeezed the blonde man’s shoulder, his hand on Sirius’ thigh, Remus keeping a steady rhythm, pumping in and out.
“Is this okay?” Remus’s sultry voice whispered, Sirius let out a breath chuckle, their shoulders twitching as they said, “More than…”.
Sirius tilted his head back, their eyes fluttering shut as pleasure surged through him. The room was filled with their ragged breaths and the creaking of the bed beneath them. Remus quickened his pace, his fingers digging into Sirius's thigh as he chased his own release.
Sirius pressed his lips against Remus’s neck, his head shaking along to the rhythm.
“Baby… No…”
“Hmm…?” Sirius questioned, their lips releasing, red from the pressure.
“C’mon, you want my friends to ask me why I’ve a hickey?”
Remus pulled away, his eyes glazed and his breath ragged as he looked down at Sirius, his lips curling involuntarily.
"Fuck you… You’re a dick, you know that?" A small laugh escaped his lips, but the bitterness in his eyes was hard to miss. Their eyes met, not flitting. Sirius forced a crooked smile, trying to forget about their “secret relationship”. Trying to forget because now they were just them, simply just two boys madly in love regardless of how much they tried to deny it, trying to forget so Sirius could just bask in the warmth that always exuded Remus when Sirius was around him. He tried so so hard because right now, right now Sirius Orion Black III was just Sirius, Sirius trying to get through school, Sirius hanging out with his friends, Sirius a boy so madly in love, and not Sirius Orion the next Duke of Cornwall and not Sirius Orion the Heir to the Throne
“I’m sorry, I can’t have all the year 11s knowing that I dicked down the prince…” Remus tried to laugh, it sounding hollow as his eyes flitted to the small clock in the broom cupboard, he fell back onto the wall behind him, peeling, as Remus brushed against the walls, small fragments of peeling wallpaper cascaded down onto his soft, blonde hair, making it resemble a dusting of snow.
“I’ve got a study group with Lily…” Remus said, his tone flat, his sentence sounded more like an unfinished sentence, longing to say so much more but-
“Erm, yes, James and I’ve got… We’ve got… Like.. Uh… We got aristocratic stuff…” Sirius matched, answering a little too soon and blushing brightly. “Hm… Top secret, you know?” Sirius said, looking up at the blonde’s eyes.
“Yeah! ‘Course…” Remus muttered, matching Sirius’s blush and rushing to pull his clothes on, messily shoving his shirt then jumper over his head, rushing out, sparing Sirius one last glance.
“Erm! Rem! Wait” Sirius whisper-yelled cursing himself rather soon after his impulses took over. “You know, James, Pete and a few others are going to the pier-”
“Baby…” Remus’ brows furrowed.
Sirius' voice was barely a whisper, but it carried a world’s worth of invitation in its depths. "Come with us? You love the sea, right? And I know you love the pier. We could make a night of it, get some fish and chips, and beer, and just... hang out. No pressure, you know? Just us guys ." Sirius smiled.
Remus hesitated, his eyes lingering on Sirius for a moment too long before lowering his gaze to his own anxious hands. He knew that with every word, every smile, and every touch, Sirius was offering more than just a simple invitation.
"I don't know, Sirius," Remus said, his voice barely audible above the sounds of the pumping blood in his ears. "I... I can't afford to get caught.”
“For fucks sake! We're not going to get caught! Like fuck, Remus! Men do hang out! You’ll just be my friend”
“YES! I know men hang out but not men that fuck each other!” Remus snapped, his fingers digging into his palms. "Sirius, you don't understand. This... Us... Can't just be friends. Not to everyone. Not in this world."
"You're being ridiculous," Sirius breathed, frustration creeping into his voice. “I’m a fucking Prince, I can do as I please. You, Remus Lupin, are simply my friend, a friend . Nothing more.”
"You don't know what you're asking," Remus whispered, his eyes pleading with Sirius to see the truth. He knew that if they continued down this path, they would be destroyed, not only by the world around them but by the secrets they were hiding from themselves.
"What am I asking?" Sirius said, his voice softening as he looked into Remus’ eyes. They looked down at their own hands, his voice shaking, "I'm asking you to trust me. To be with me, and only me.”
“Baby… Fuck.. We agreed…” Remus huffs, running his finger through his hair.
Gray eyes pool with tears glistening like diamonds in the dark closet, lit only with what’s peeking from under the door. “I know baby, no attachment…” Sirius whispered.
Remus leaves and runs a bit too fast, crashing out of the cramped closet, his clothes rumpled and his hands tight around his shabby messenger bag.
Sirius’ naked back runs down the bare closet wall, his arms curling around his lithe body, his head leaning against the wall, another tear leaving his light eyes.