Entranced

“The base violence necessary for change” this phrase seemed so different when Silco was speaking it in a semi hopeful manner to his crew at the last drop compared to its’ impact now, as sevika sits there,uncharacteristically, whimpering in pain. I mean .. her arm just got blown off, you’d expect anyone would be screaming at least, but not Sevika. Not, miss always tough, always in charge, Sevika. Seeing this is the biggest wake up call slap in the face from reality that you can get. Violence was necessary, but why did it touch every aspect of your life?

You’d signed up because you believed in Zaun, not specifically in Silco. While Silco was there working hard, trying to secure his title as the de facto head of Zaun, you deep down knew that the path to independence could be managed with less drug dependence than you’d begun to have the displeasure of seeing on your walks around the lanes as Silco's control spread and hope for the fate of the undercity dwindled. Shimmer does have genuine medicinal properties, that much you knew deep down, but Vander guaranteeing the freedom for the nation of Zaun?… that was becoming harder to believe by the day. You didn’t understand because how could you? Children weren't in your cards. You weren’t granted the privileges that Piltover got, kids wouldn’t be a blessing - in fact, having them would be the opposite. Cursing them til the day they die. Having them grow up knowing they’re less than others just because a stupid bridge separates them? You couldn’t think of a worse fate. But Vander was lucky, his 4 adopted but loved no differently than rich Piltie kids were the apple of his eye, a fact you were quite jealous of but would never admit. The fact that he got to experience genuine joy, love and family throughout all this war and bloodshed was a miracle, a short lived one at that, but one you would trade anything to be able to experience first hand. You wanted Zaun's independence, and without a family tying you down (or rather saving you from your own desires) like Vander, you would do anything to achieve it. Which is how you ended up here, working of Silco, watching the beautiful blue explosion rip apart a family, take the lives of your brothers and sisters in arms, and steal the arm that Sevika worked so hard on away from her.

Her screams are a sound you will never forget. While you, pushed back by Silco’s force as Sevika shoved him to safety, never directly felt the impact of the explosion you sure as fuck witnessed it. The warmth spread across your face like a nice buzz, just a few drinks in, would. Making you feel safe for the split second that you were basking in it’s ethereal light, but then ripping you out of your fantasy forcing you to witness Silco disoriented, Vander and his children in varying states of death, and Sevika screaming out for anyone who could hear. There wasn’t a single second of hesitation as you jumped towards her. Putting pressure on the wound, ripping your belt off to create a make-shift tourniquet, just doing anything and everything you remembered witnessing throughout your time following Silco. Violence wasn’t something you were afraid of, don’t be mistaken, you could fight with some of the best (just not the best of them), you understood the base violence necessary for change, you just didn’t usually have to see the result alive. Of course the end of most fights means seeing death, which was something you weren’t afraid of, but seeing someone come so close to it but survive? Unheard of in your personal experience … you guess you were just that good, you cringe - what? Can’t joke at a time like this?

It’s hard to concentrate. Silco, finally awake, sees you and Ran applying pressure to what’s left of Sevika’s arm while the other attempts to check her breathing. Seeing that she has a pulse you announce you have to leave. The shimmer is flammable to say the least, the fire is already spreading faster than anticipated. Safety means abandoning some of those you viewed in high regard. Most of your fellow members joined with the same goal in mind, some getting lost in the power and drugs, but many staying loyal to their heart. This wasn’t something you would easily forget. But her safety, and silco’s, were more important to you, to the cause. Silco, the brains, but labeling Sevika “The Brawn” would be insulting. She was so much more than that. She was scary, she was intimidating, but she was also enticing, she was charismatic in her own interesting way, but more than that she was loyal. Her loyalty mattered to you more than any little childlike infatuation did, at least that’s what you told yourself as you scrambled to your feet and grabbed a freshly wounded Sevika and pulled her to Safety. Silco attempts to help but Ran shoves him away, almost forgetting that it was the Eye of Zaun they just dug their elbow into. He stands there in shock - his brother, his enemy, his biggest regret and hope charging out of the flames, clearly under the influence of the copious amounts of shimmer that spilled out. While Ran turned their focus towards this you only focused on Sevika, her life was more important to yours at this moment.

“You there?”, you waited a second. “Please don’t die on me” You say, chuckling to keep yourself from screaming, pretending that this was purely personal - out of obligation to Zaun, to your boss Silco. But you were terrified. You could handle death, it was familiar and a commonly experienced hard learned reality, but hers? You were sure you wouldn’t make it out alive. But thank Janna she stirred in your arms. Regaining some sort of consciousness, and the ability to shout every swear word under the sun, which wasn’t the most out of character thing Sevika did; in fact that was pretty on the nose for her. But her grasping at your arm, clinging to you for dear life, rubbing her tear and blood stained face into your abdomen was new for everyone involved. But it meant she was alive and that was all that mattered.