Soul Love

~SIRIUS~

For what felt like miles, the only sounds gracing the ears of Sirius Black were the steady thump of his footfall on the winding streets of London and his own heavy breathing. It was a hot August night, and he had already stripped down to the least amount of clothing possible without being downright scandalous. (a singlet and shorts, and a wide array of jewelry too, of course) He could swear he had a good reason for it. Maybe. 

See, not even an hour ago, Sirius had finally done what he, along with James and Peter, had been preparing for for over a year. He had been able to look down and see huge black paws in place of his usual Doc Martens, then immediately gone to find a reflective surface. A window, pond, whatever, he needed to know what animal his black paws belonged to. Sure, he had a pretty good idea, but still. It could be a bear, panther, hell, even some foxes had black paws. Unfortunately, Sirius had made his transformation in the middle of a rather large park. One with no rivers or ponds or anything even vaguely resembling a mirror. So, he ventured out onto the winding roads of London, a quaint little shopping street, to be precise. He ended up in front of the glass door to a bakery selling sugary pastries, which Sirius made a note of, he loved testing out muggle cuisine. Seeing as the shop was indeed shut, it being nighttime, Sirius simply stood there, staring at his new animagus form. A huge, black dog. Of course. He grinned, as much as a dog can, and his tail started wagging. His tail.

Oh, he was going to love this.

His first mistake was barking in excitement. He was shocked by the deep voice his dog form had, but he soon regained his composure and howled, then barked some more.

At this point, lights were turning on overhead, but he paid no mind, deciding that setting off down the street at a gallop was, in fact, a good idea. That was his second mistake, but he was too pleased with himself to care.

In hindsight, Sirius thought that maybe a huge dog running around central London barking and howling is, in fact, something that could come off to some as unsettling, or even threatening, and cause someone to call animal control on him, but unfourtunately that thought hadn't even come within ten miles of Sirius's mind at the time. So that was how he managed to find himself running faster, now involuntary, from animal control and their nets.

Sirius wasn't sure if he even knew how to turn back into a human, but having such a skill didn’t matter until he had the chance to somehow slip away from view of the men chasing him before doing so.

It was honestly amazing how long he could keep running when pushed. It was definitely easier as a dog than human, but having four legs wasn’t a thing Sirius was used to, and he could tell they were going to give out soon, either from exhaustion or simply a lack of practice in using them. So, with a final burst of speed, Sirius threw himself around a corner and into a deserted alley, quickly turning back into himself. Huh, he thought, I guess it isn't actually that hard. Transforming back was definitely a strange sensation, though, and one to get used to as well. He shook it off and leaned against the brick wall, pulling out a cigarette and trying to look nonchalant, or at least like he hadn't just been chased for Merlin knows how long by some random muggles.

As predicted, a man came barreling around the corner not a second later, he was in his forties and obviously hadn't done much running since his school days.

As he caught his breath he scanned the alley, visibly confused.

"Are you looking for something?" Sirius asked innocently.

"Yeah, this big black dog. It's been causing trouble. Surely you heard it shouting it's bloody head off." The man panted.

"Sounds terrible. Where d'you think it go to?" Sirius asked, taking a drag of the now lit cigarette.

"It came in here! I saw it!" He eyed Sirius suspiciously, "You sure you haven't seen it anywhere?"

"I'm very sure, sir," Sirius said, trying not to laugh.

"Well.. okay then, I'm sorry, kid, carry on," The man sounded defeated, then turned and left.

Sirius couldn't hold back anymore. He burst out laughing right there. He pulled out his mirror and yelled at it, not caring if he looked and sounded like a bit of a madman walking down the street shouting at a mirror. "POTTER! OI POTTER! WAKE UP YOU TWIT, I'VE DONE IT!" then promptly began to choke on some of the smoke that he had inhaled to fast.

At first there was no response, but then came a shuffling sound, followed by James's, obviously just woken up, voice, "What the fuck?," he groaned, "Sirius, what time is it?"

Sirius collected himself, getting back to his bearings, and looked at his watch before proudly announcing, "Two in the morning."

"What can be so important you have to tell me at two in the fucking morning?" James whined, turning over in bed.

Sirius sighed. "Come on! My animagus! I got it!" He said, then added, "And I got chased by animal control too, I'm actually totally knackered."

That got James's attention. He sat upright and turned the light on, "Wait, really? That's incredible, Sirius! Well, not the animal control part, that was probably awful, why did you even-" he stopped himself, "Okay, that's a story for another time. Anyway, you're okay and a flipping animagus!"

"Yeah I am! It's honestly really weird actually, you can feel your whole body rearranging itself, but it doesn't hurt, I dunno, I guess you'll find out soon." Sirius rounded the corner onto Grimmauld place, he had unintentionally been running towards it, so the walk wasn’t all that long "I'm nearly home now, so I better go before mum hears and finds out I've been away, gotta go, see ya!" 

"See you!" James chirped, "Wait! what is it?" and just as Sirius opened his mouth to speak, he interrupted, "Wait, no! You can show me at school, we'll show each other. Let it be a surprise, y'know?"

"Something to look forward to, then. Good idea. I can't wait to get back. Moony's gonna be thrilled."

"Me neither, now, go home and let me go back to sleep, I have to work hard if I want to get it tomorrow."

"Why tomorrow?"

"You may have gotten it first, but I can't disgrace myself so much as to not follow directly after," James said matter-of-factly.

"Very well," Sirius laughed, "Okay, I'll get going then, see ya!"

"See you, mate."

Sirius closed the mirror and finished the final leg of his walk home in a sort of haze. He was totally ecstatic about his new skill, but had to be on high alert for his reentrance into the hellish place he called home.

When he got to number twelve Grimmauld place, he took his shrunken broom out of his pocket, unshrunk it, and flew up to his fourth floor window. The idea had been a joke from James at first, but Sirius had decided that with some tweaking it could work. And work it did.

Well, at least it would have worked, if Walburga Black hadn't been standing in his room while he snuck in through the window.

Shit, he thought, now I'm fucked.

"Sirius Orion Black," she started, and Sirius flinched.

She full named me, better start making funeral preparations.

"Where have you been?" she asked, her voice icy.

Sirius started to panic. She could not find out he was an animagus, under any circumstances, "I've been.. out," he managed.

"Out," she repeated dryly.

"Yeah." Sirius murmured.

Sirius excpected her to shout, scream, question him, do something. Instead, she simply nodded, turned, and left. Just as the door was closing, though, she pointed her wand at him and said, "Silencio."

~JAMES~

James Potter was trying to stay positive about this, he really was. Being positive was usually never an issue for him, except for this time, apparently.

He hadn't let it slip when talking to Sirius, but this whole animagus business was really wearing him down. He and Peter had been trying to make the final transformation every day for weeks now- with no results whatsoever from either party. Peter swore he had gotten a bit shorter a few times, but James thought it was just wishful thinking. Or maybe he had grown, making Peter think he had shrunk.

The morning after his conversation with Sirius, James was up at dawn and running over to Peter's house, which was just down the street, still in pyjamas and hair disheveled. He got to his friend's window, which was, thankfully, on the ground floor, and started banging furiously, unable to see inside due to the curtains being drawn.

After a good thirty seconds of noise making, Peter finally poked his head out the window, "James? What are you doing here? At," he checked his watch, "quarter to six!"

"Sirius did it," James blurted, "He did it, Pete! He transformed, last night, he told me."

"Really? What is it?"

"Dunno yet, we agreed to only show each other at school, which is soon, by the way, so we better get to work."

"Does it have to be now?"

"Yes! Come on!" James tried to grab Peter's arm and pull him through the window, "Moony needs us!" and after a pause, "And I can't have Sirius beating me by more than a day."

Peter battled out of James's grip, "Okay, Okay!" He yelped, "Just let me get dressed, for Merlin's sake!" He looked James over, "You should get dressed too, how about we meet by the forest in ten?"

James shrugged, "Fine by me," he said, and set off back home, where Euphemia Potter was waiting.

"James! What are you doing up? I saw you weren't in bed and got worried," She said sweetly, and it made James want to tell her everything. Lying always made him uncomfortable, but lying to his mother was even worse. Still, he would do it for Remus.

"I was just at Pete's," James said, wondering if he could spin this only using half-truths, "We're meeting at the forest in a minute for a, er, a picnic."

"A picnic?"

"Yeah! He's bringing the food, so don't worry, we thought, 'we've never had a picnic and why not do it now, this morning?'"

Effie looked scandalized, "You're making him bring all the food? I can't have that," She all but ran into the kitchen, "You go and get dressed, I'll get something ready for you to bring, should I call Marlene too or will it just be you boys?"

"No, no!" James yelped, "Just us, not Marlene this time." Effie gave him a strange look but didn't comment.

James dashed upstairs and threw on a t-shirt and jeans, began to tame his hair, gave up, and ran downstairs to find Effie had acquired a plastic container of some kind of curry, possibly last night's leftovers.

"Here," she said when she spotted him, "It's not much, but you didn't give me much notice, so I had to put together some leftovers," She handed it to him then pulled him into a hug, "I love you, Jamie, have fun." James nodded and hugged back, then let go and turned to leave.

"Love you, Mum!" He called.

"Love you too, don't do anything illegal!" Effie joked, and James almost flinched. What he was doing was, in fact, extremely illegal, probably a felony, and near impossible. Still, he smiled and closed the door, then ran to the outskirts of their small town, where the forest began and Peter was already waiting.

"What's that?" he asked, eying the container of curry with suspicion.

James lifted it, "It's curry, I don't know what type, I don't think it's spicy, mum knows you don't like spicy things."

"Okay, so it's curry," Peter said, "and why, excactly, do you have curry with you? Should I have asked my mum to give me something too? You do the Indian dish and I do the German one?"

"Because that's such a good mix," James said sarcastically, "And er, I may have, erm, told my mum that we were having a picnic and that you were bringing the food. She insisted I take something too," James said, "It might come in handy, we'll probably be tired and hungry by the end of this."

"Yeah, okay, let's go, then."

After a little hiking, they found an appropriately sized clearing far enough away from the town that nobody would notice, but close enough that they could run home if something were to go wrong. It wasn't that they didn't know what was in the woods, they did, they, along with Marlene, had had it mapped out in their mind's eye since they were small children. However, this particular occasion called for precision, so search they did.

Peter sat down heavily on a log, which would have been the perfect place to sit, had it not been for the slime. He cried out and slipped off into the moss below. James barked out a laugh and helped him to his feet, "You alright, Pete?" he asked.

"Yeah, fine," he chuckled, steadying himself, "Let's get to it, before Sirius figures out how to get himself another animagus form. The smug bastard's probably already written a novel, The Triumphs of Sirius Black." 

This spurred James into action, and for the rest of the day, the pair of them stayed there, speaking the incantation and waiting to feel the double heartbeat signaling them of an imminent transformation. And showing no results.

Finally, when the sun had almost set, James sighed, defeated.

"Pete, we should go. Mum's gonna be worried if we're not back soon. I'm sure she's already suspicious. Sirius'll be unbearable when he hears though."

"No, James, one more try! One more try, and then we'll go home, I feel so close!"

James nodded, and watched as Peter started the incantation again for what felt like the hundredth time. Well, what else is there to do? James thought, picking up his wand to try again and muttering the words.

Only this time it was different. You'd think a double heartbeat would be pretty recognizable, especially if you were already anticipating it, but somehow, James was convinced he was having a heart attack. His heart was beating too fast. He tried to sit down but found himself rooted to the spot. A new wave of panic washed over him. He squeezed his eyes shut. He felt dizzy and hot, like he'd keel over any second. He heard a muffled sound, which could have been Peter calling out to him, but he had no idea.

Then it started. The legs were first. Then the body. And finally, the head. James tried his very best to ignore the feeling of his skeleton reshaping itself inside him. The worst were his fingers all fusing together. At some point it felt as though his head had exploded, two points stabbing up. It wasn't painful, excactly, it was very much detatched, but it was the most uncomfortable he had ever felt in his fifteen years of life. And then it stopped.

After all the discomfort, James realized his thoughts had become more subdued. They weren't as loud as usual. The second thing he noticed was his hooves, big and strong, on the forest floor. He laughed in disbelief, but it came out sounding like a snort. He swung his head around to take in the world with his new senses, the colours different, the smells different. His eye caught on Peter, who looked far smaller than he had before, staring at James in disbelief. James stared back.

"...James?" he asked timidly.

James, though unable to speak (though not for lack of trying, it sounded awful, scaring Peter even more) nodded.

"You can hear me?"

Again, he nodded, then tilted his head in question, he knew he had hooves, sure, but lots af animals do. Horses, goats (though it'd have to be a pretty bloody big goat) James wasn't sure what he'd do if he turned out to be a cow.

Peter didn't seem to understand the question, so James tried to lift a hoof to gesture at himself in question.

"James, what are you doing?" Peter asked.

Rather exasperatedly, James put his hoof down and transformed back, which was still an unpleasant experience, but not nearly as difficult or uncomfortable as it had been.

"What am I?" he asked the moment he had regained his mouth.

Still, Peter stood in shocked silence, and James had to wave a hand in front of him to wake him up.

"Oh! Sorry, yeah, um, you're a uh.. shit, what was the word? Hirsch?" he tried in German, when James stayed staring, he frantically tried to find the word, "Hirsch, um that's a... Oh! Yes! James, you're a stag!"

A stag. That's even better than a horse. And more suited for the forbidden forest. given his size, he would surely be able to befriend (and contain) the wolf.

"Uh, Earth to James?" Peter asked, now his turn to wave his hand around.

"Sorry, got caught up, whatever.. How cool is that! I can't believe it. No way Sirius can beat that."

When they got home, it was already nearly midnight. James wanted nothing more than to tell everyone about his new ability, but only refrained because Euphemia was on them the moment they walked through her front door.

"Jamie! Pete! Where have you been? I've been asking around, buy nobody saw you all day!" She must have then noticed some mud on their clothes, "Very well, you're home now. Showers, both of you. Peter, you're staying here tonight, ah ah, no arguments, you look tired. I'll call your parents to tell them." When the two of them simply stared, she added, "Go on then! You can tell me in the morning."

James smiled at his mother, "Goodnight, mum," he said, giving her a hug before heading upstairs because really, he was extremely tired.

When he got to his room, he noticed that a guest bed had already been made up for Peter, next to his. They had guest rooms in the house, but Effie knew the boys preferred to stay close. James had hardly let his head hit the pillow before he was dragged down into a deep sleep.

He dreamed of quidditch and full moons. Of running through the forest, hooves hitting the ground. He could sense the world around him like he never had before, the world was shaking. Someone was calling his name. Why was a forest calling for him?

"James, wake up!" Peter all but shouted, still shaking him.

"Pete, what?" James asked, rubbing his eyes. He could see it was already light, but only just. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong, I did it! I've been up all night trying, and I finally got it! I know my animagus!"

James shot up. "Holy shit. Show me!"

Peter crawled up onto James' bed and shrunk down to... a rat. James blinked. Peter was a rat. It definitely wasn't what he was expecting, but ideas began to flood his mind. Peters size could give them advantages. He remembered Remus mentioning something about a knot that needed to be pushed to get to the shack. Maybe a rat couldn't calm the wolf, but a rat could be entertaining, or a lookout, or so many things.

And then Peter, the boy, was sitting back on James' bed, smiling furiously.

"I know it's not a big animal like you, but-" he started.

"It's brilliant!" James interjected, "There are so many possibilities! It's perfect!"

"Imagine! I could play pranks or- or we can all fit under the cloak again, or I can hide under beds!"

"I know!" James exclaimed, and they continued to chatter excitedly about their ideas and possibilities until Effie was calling them down for breakfast.

"Do not tell, okay?" James said, trying not only to reassure Peter, but also himself.

Peter nodded, miming zipping his lips shut, locking it, and throwing away the key.

And he kept to his word, not trusting himself to say anything for the entire duration of breakfast. James tried to divert his mother's attention from it by talking about school, or quidditch, or whatever crossed his mind until they had all finished eating and he and Peter could dash upstairs again. 

"Remus and Sirius will be thrilled when they hear!"James said, trying to stop himself from writing them each a letter right then and there.

"Ooh I want to tell them so bad!" Peter cried, practically vibrating with excitement.

"I know, I know!" said James, trying to be the voice of reason, "But I promised not to tell Sirius what we are, and its meant to be a surprise for Moony!"

"Sirius definitely already told him though," Peter sighed.

"Yeah, probably. The bastard's never been good at keeping secrets." James sighed. "Merlin, I miss him, I hope his family isn't giving him too hard of a time."

"I'm sure he's fine, and anyway, Regulus is there to keep him in check," Peter firmly stated.

After a short pause, during which the two boys were staring off into space, James turned back to Peter, startling the poor boy "I really want to tell them too," he said hurriedly, "But, as we have established, it's meant to be a surprise for both of them, but I think I've thought of a loophole."

Peters attention was instantly snapped back towards James, "Yeah? Spill."

"Okay, so, it's quick and simple,"

"I doubt that."

"No listen! In my opinion, it is, in fact, extremely effective, here's the plan..."

It was not, in fact, as quick and simple as James had imagined it being, and quite a bit more messy too. Just asking his mum for extra ink without telling her everything or revealing the mess which was his bedroom was incredibly difficult.

In the end, the letter they sent Sirius was very simple, despite the incredibly long time and many tries it took to get it right. It contained a simple greeting (Dear Sirius), James and Peter's footprints, of their animagus forms, of course (an inky stag hoof and rat paw respectively), and a sign off (From James & Peter).

The pair sent it off using James's owl, feeling very happy with theirselves, then immediately felt boredom setting in after it had left their sight. 

"So now what?" Peter asked.

"We could go and bother Marlene?"

"Sure, what else is there to do?" he said, getting up.

The walk to the McKinnons wasn't far. Nowhere was in their town. James had always thought, that for a small town in England, it was extremely culturally diverse. His parents had grown up in India, but moved here before having James, Peters family had roots in Germany, though James didnt know exactly how far back, he knew they still all spoke German and did their best to take part in cultural activities, and Marlene's mother was a Latvian refugee, and she was very active in sharing her country's culture, music and traditions, and bringing light to the current Soviet occupation. Despite such intense patriotism, she had, to her entire family's surprise, ended up married to an English man.

When they knocked on the Mckinnons door, it was Marlene's mother who answered.

"Hiya Ilze," James started, "We were wondering if Marlene was busy?"

"No, not at all," she replied, "I'll get her right down." She then turned back and shouted up the stairs just to her left, "Marlīn! Tev draugi ciemos! Nonāc lejā, kaut kāda pabūšana ārā tev nesāpēs!"

After a moment a muffled voice came from upstairs, "Pag kuri draugi?" another pause, "Ai, nekas, vienalga, es nāku! Tikai saģērbšos kārtīgi un būšu gatava!"

"She's just getting dressed and then she'll be down," Ilze translated for James and Peter, who hadn't understood a word of their exchange in Latvian.

After a minute or so, Marlene emerged at the top of the stairs, hair in braids and smudged eyeliner applied, looking every bit the rockstar she was.

"Where the hell were you two yesterday?" She asked, coming downstairs two at a time, "I had to actually do my Summer homework!"

"Sorry, Marls," Peter said, smiling, "important Marauders business."

"Important my ass, were you scheming? I bet you were. Some new prank, I suppose, aha! Or another way to embarras you in front of Lily, perhaps?"

"I'll have you know it was neither of those," said James, running a hand through his hair, "But a new prank idea does sound fantastic, I'll credit you when we pull it off."

Marlene gave him a skeptical look, but pulled on her shoes and stood by the door, waiting, "So, shall we go?"

~REGULUS~

During the final weeks of Summer, Regulus Black was extremely bored. Maybe that was a mean thing to say, seeing as his brother had it so much worse, but Regulus couldn't really find it in himself to care. Not that he didn't care about Sirius, but his own problems always felt so real and close to him, that ignoring other people's issues just sort of... happened if he didnt put in constant 100% effort. Maybe nice people don't think like that, but Regulus had come to terms with not being nice years ago, despite wanting to be more than anything. People just... wasn't a skill he possessed, no matter how hard he tried. Because of this, he really didn't have many friends, thus, not much to do in Summer. Especially when half of them were always on holiday in some tropical island. Keeping himself occupied was truly the single most difficult task of the Summer. Regulus believed that boredom truly was one of the worst things possible to bestow upon a person. After what Walburga had done to Sirius, of course.

Sirius, always so loud and outspoken, had been trapped in a state of silence since that night, and if that wasn't enough, he had been locked in his room as well, meals delivered to him twice a day and Regulus forbidden from seeing him. Regulus knew he had to stay in line, because who knows how much shit they'd get if both of them were in trouble. Regulus couldn't understand why Sirius didn't just listen to their mother during the holidays. Sure, he understood that Sirius was naturally louder and more outgoing, but sometimes Regulus resented him for not knowing when to shut his mouth around their parents or keep himself out of trouble at family gatherings. But still, Regulus wasn't a monster, so when his mother intercepted a letter addressed to Sirius, he did everything in his power to get it before she destroyed it.

At first, her shrieking had been audible through the entire house. Something about heathens and blood traitors who don't know how to properly behave. Regulus had simply assumed she was on a rant to Orion about whatever "awful" thing had been put in the prophet about muggleborns at first, but when he heard the name 'James Potter', he made the connection and decided to intervene.

Regulus crept down the stairs from his bedroom all the way to his father's office, which was where all the noise was coming from, and peeked around the corner to see his mother holding an opened letter and flapping her arms about, while his father sat in an armchair looking a little exasperated, but also furious.

Regulus leaned back to assess the situation. So, it was a letter from James. He could have guessed that his mother would be monitoring Sirius's mail while he was in trouble, but she knew he talked to James, so what was the big deal?

His parents must have spotted him at this point, because Orion called out, "Regulus? What are you doing there?" his tone was sharp, "Don't lurk, boy."

Okay, play it cool, Regulus thought, then stepped around the corner into full view.

"Mother. Father," he acknowledged each of them with a small dip of the head. "I apologise for being so impolite, but I couldn't help but notice that you were discussing the blood traitors the Potters. I have had a few extremely unpleasant run ins with James Potter myself and understand your frustrations." Okay, so maybe he was overdoing it a little, but anything to please them, right? Regulus didn't actually have anything against James Potter and his family, other than his own selfish wish to have Sirius all to himself, but staying on his parents good side required a lot of lying through his teeth.

Apparently, and luckily for Regulus, his mother was in the mood to complain, "That Potter boy has the nerve to send Sirius this!" she shrieked, holding up an inkstained piece of paper with what looked like animal footprints on it. "How can he have been raised with such poor manners! Has he no class?"

Regulus nodded in fake agreement. "I agree with you, Mother. This is truly terrible behaviour. May I have the letter, to burn such filth myself?" He didn't excpect that last part to work, but he was pleasantly surprised. He wouldn't have believed him, but he wasn't complaining.

"Very well. I don't want to spend anymore time looking at it. Je ne supporte plus de voir une telle lettre." She thrust it into his hands. "Now begone. I don't want to see it again."

As told, Regulus scurried off. He didn't go straight to Sirius' room, hiding the letter under his mattress and spending the rest of the day normally, until he was certain his parents had both fallen asleep. That was when he crept into Sirius' bedroom across the hall. The locking charm on his door proved difficult at first, but he simply summoned Kreacher for help, and made him swear not to tell his mother. At the sound of the door opening, Sirius' head whipped around from where he had been watching the night sky on his windowsill, the window charmed shut, of course. It was a full moon, and a beautiful one, at that. He relaxed a little, seeing it was only Regulus, but remained on edge.

"Er, you might have heard," Regulus started, "but you have mail. From Potter." Why couldn't he just get words out like a normal person? He held out the ripped open letter for his brother to take. 

After skimming the page over, Sirius' face broke out into a huge grin, he looked up at Regulus, who was still standing sheepishly by the door, and mouthed thank you.

Regulus thought to ask what the footprints meant, as Sirius had obviously understood them, but thought against it. He didn't need to know what an inky mess on a piece of paper meant, even if it was from Sirius's friends. Regulus turned around and shut the door.

He had no idea what compelled him, but the next night, Regulus found himself back in Sirius' room again. They used to spend all their time here, as kids. They'd hide under the bed sometimes, or at night they'd watch the moon. Sirius's window had a better view. They used to share ways to not let their parents get to them, whispering under the covers of the bed until late at night. Now all of that was gone. Part of Regulus knew, the moment Sirius was sorted into Gryffindor, that things would change. That first Summer after he came back had been awful. Everything his brother would talk about was James Potter, with the occasional mention of a Remus and Peter. Regulus understood. Of course Sirius would make new friends. But what he hadn't excpected was for Sirius to be so.. different. Sure, he had never enjoyed the pride their family took in being Slytherins, but it seemed that now he resented them all for it. When the sorting hat had called out Slytherin the moment it was placed on Regulus' head and he had seen Sirius' expression, he knew he had lost his brother.

Some childish part of him wanted the comfort of having Sirius again. Maybe that's why he was here.

"Mother and Father are still angry," Regulus said, "You can't send or receive any more letters. They'll go ballistic."

Sirius nodded, then held up a hand, gesturing for Regulus to wait. He scurried over to his desk and started scribbling on a spare piece of parchment. He held it up.

Could you send a letter for me? It's for James.

Regulus considered it. "Okay," he said, "But the moment I get caught, I'm blaming it on you."

Sirius nodded and handed him a letter, mouthing at Regulus not to read it, like he cared what he said to Potter.

When Regulus got back to his room, he prepared his owl immediately, then, at the last minute, decided to add a note explaining the situation. Potter was sure to write back and Regulus wanted a minimal amount of shouting in the household before September.

Potter.

Sirius is grounded, so any mail he sends or receives will be confiscated. I saved your dumb animal print painting, but I will not do it again. Therefore if you must reply, which I don't see as a necessity, address the letter to me, to spare my eardrums.

R.A.B.

He tied the additional note to his owls other leg and sent her on her way. Her name was Artemis, a name Regulus had thought was terribly clever when he had picked it at eleven. Naming a hunting bird after the goddess of the hunt. She was happy for the exercise, she hadn't gotten much that Summer. Sure, Regulus sent the occasional letter to his friends, but Evan, Pandora and Dorcas seemed to preoccupied with their own interesting Summer, too far away for an owl to fly comfortably on a regular basis, and Regulus met with Barty often enough to not have a need for owls.

The next day, Artemis was back with mail. Regulus rolled his eyes as he untied it, but as he made to grab the letter addressed to Sirius, another, smaller envelope fell to the floor. Regulus, it read. He put Sirius' letter on the table and scooped up his, opening it with caution. There was probably some sort of jinx put on it. Regulus shut his eyes and braced for a blow that wasn't coming. Tentatively, he cracked his eyes open to see- a perfectly normal looking letter.

Maybe it was greed, maybe it was a need to understand Sirius, maybe it was loneliness, and maybe it was simply curiosity, but something spurred Regulus to read the short letter with a crazed fervor.

Regulus,

Thank you for helping Sirius out, it means a lot to me. How are you? I know Summers in that house aren't easy, even if you're a masochistic little wierdo. I hope they haven't been too awful to you because of Sirius. Don't tell him I said that. Write back.

Cheers,

James

Regulus stared, dumbfounded. Was James Potter being... nice to him? He shook his head. Surely this was some sick joke. James knew nothing of what happened at Grimmauld place. He would never get it. It was one thing that he still shared with Sirius. Nobody could touch that. Regulus tried to not let's Potter's good intentions get to him though.

Still, that night, after Sirius had given him another letter, Regulus found himself writing again.

Potter,

It astounds me that you think you can assume that you can ever know what it is like living here, because you will never even begin to grasp it. I'm fine. Sirius being grounded just leaves me more peace and quiet.

R.A.B.

Another letter was sent the next day.

Regulus,

I don't belive you really mean all that. You don't have to be doing this, helping Sirius, I mean. But you are. That means something, even if you won't admit it to yourself. Talk to him, even if he can't reply.

You don't have to like me, but consider my advice.

James

Potter,

I wouldn't touch your advice with a ten foot pole.

This is my final letter.

R.A.B.

~SIRIUS~

It was only after he had been forcibly quiet for so long that Sirius fully came to the realization that he had absolutely taken his voice for granted, when he had had access to it.

Sirius was nothing without his voice. He always needed to be talking to someone to function, it was part of his identity. Though he didn’t want to admire anything she did, Sirius had to admit that Walburga had really perfected the act of handing out the most phycologically torturous punishments. Not that Sirius spoke to many people at home though anyway. Except Regulus. Not so much in the past few years, but still, Regulus.

The Black brothers had been attatched at the hip before Hogwarts. At every awful family reunion or wedding or whatever Sirius had overhead somebody say something along the lines of 'I've never seen one without the other' or 'Where have they gotten to? Always running off together, Sirius and Regulus.'

Sirius hadn't wanted to leave Regulus alone in that house for a whole year when he left for Hogwarts. He'd actually begged their mother to let Regulus come with him, they'd even tried to put extra socks in Regulus's shoes to make him look taller and read encyclopedias back to back to prepare him for school. Alas, both of their parents relented, and Sirius had watched Regulus standing on platform 9 3/4, between their parents, with tears in his eyes.

When Sirius returned the following Summer. Something in his Reggie had changed. He seemed harder somehow, not as playful as the boy he'd been. Still, Sirius had regailed him with stories of James Potter, Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew, leaving Regulus nothing but excited to finally start school.

Sirius can't remember the exact moment their relationship started to fracture, maybe it always was fractured, he never knew in this family, but somehow Sirius had thought he had known which house his brother would end up in. Gryffindor, with him. Because they were a pair, always and forever.

But of course, the Sorting Hat barely needed any time at all to decide that Regulus was just like all the rest of the Blacks, a Slytherin.

Sirius tried not to hold it against him, but somehow, they went from telling each other anything and everything, to vaguely nodding at each other while crossing ways in corridors. Sirius had his friends, and Regulus had his, it was okay. They were still brothers. They still loved each other. Right?

Surely. If anything, this Summer had only gone and proven it. Regulus was starting to speak more and more during his visits, and Sirius found himself truly enjoying the company. 

A single knock sounded on his door, and in came Regulus, quiet as a mouse. Sirius smiled at him and waved. It wasn't like there was much else he could do.

"Hey, Sirius," Regulus said, "No post today, unfourtunately."

Sirius shrugged as if to say, It's fine, Potter's already sent me enough to fill a novel anyway.

"Mother says that she'll free you soon. School's only a few days away anyway. I'd be careful though, I think she has something planned." he didn't elaborate on what that 'something' might be.

Sirius was still stuck on school only being a few days away. How much time had he spent rotting away in what was essentially a well furnished prison cell?

As Sirius was unable to answer Regulus directly, and he didn't want them to sit in an uncomfortable silence, Sirius challenged Regulus to a game of chess, knowing that he had never won a game against his brother. Regulus also knew this. Sirius didn't care, he needed something to do.

"Chess, really? I don't think you've ever beaten me at chess."

Sirius held up a hand signalling for Regulus to wait a moment, before scribbling down, True, but I have lost rather spectacularly AND THEN refrained from throwing the pieces at your head. I think such brilliance deserves another chance, on the nearest piece of paper (which happened to be his open copy of A History of Magic, which was currently lying on the floor, because he had been desperate enough for something to do that he had been doing his summer homework).

Twenty minutes later, Sirius was triumphantly taking down yet another one of Regulus's pieces, and Regulus, much to Sirius's confusion and annoyance, wasn't acting as though he was losing. He was acting quite the opposite, actually.

Sirius was too busy fuming over his brothers smugness and celebrating his soon to be victory, that he almost didn't notice Regulus say, "Checkmate." Surely not. Still, the evidence did support this claim. All of Regulus's (very few) pieces, excluding the king, had been placed strategically, so that Sirius's poor king (who he had named Remus, to annoy Regulus) was cornered with nowhere to go not ending in destruction.

Not being able to exclaim in anger, Sirius banged his hands on the bed, causing the little chess pieces to scatter, though thankfully not far.

Then came the unmistakable sound of Walburga Black coming up the stairs. Being on the fourth (and highest) floor, and considering Regulus's earlier warning, Sirius had no doubt of her intentions. He didn't even have to tell Regulus to hide, he was already slipping under the bed, as he had so many times when they were children. Sirius scrambled to somewhat tidy his room in the seconds he had before Walburga entered his room. He flipped shut the written upon A History Of Magic and made his bed as much as he could, given the chess pieces all over it. Finally, he kicked some of what was still on the floor under the bed, earning an angrily whispered "Ow, what the fuck?" from Regulus, just as the door opened and Walburga stepped in. Sirius instantly straightened his posture and tried to look respectful.

"Finite."

Sirius felt his voice return to him has she uttered the counter spell. He breathed a sigh if relief, then straightened up again, remembering who was in the room.

"Thank you, Mother," he said, head bowed.

"This room is a mess. You will clean it before tomorrow or there will be consequences."

"Yes, Mother."

"We were going to send you to school as you were, but Regulus insisted otherwise. Do not make me doubt my decision in agreeing with him."

Sirius nodded.

"What do you say?"

"Yes, Mother."

"Very good. I will check to make sure you have no intention of committing such a heinous act again."

Sirius froze. Legilimency. He frantically tried to clear his head before Walburga came barging in. Now he could feel her in his head, overly aware of his own thoughts.

He couldn't let himself think of the vast array of things he was hiding from her. No! He couldn't think about not thinking about them either, especially the fact he was an a- 

He mentally slapped himself, and tried to force himself to think about his friends instead. He had done it for Remus. Moony. He had hated seeing him sad and now he had a surprise for him. Yes, he would focus on Moony. The scar that ran across his face, he had gotten it in third year and hated it, but Sirius though it was beautiful. Moonys brown hair and dark coffee eyes. That one time last April when Remus had been studying and stretched, causing his jumper to lift and exposing part of his torso. Sirius's mind had short circuited. Then Remus had run a hand through his hair and Sirius had had to excuse himself to avoid staring. And oh, the Incident, as he had started calling it. During their last prank of the year, he and Remus had been setting up in the staff toilets. Together, in one cubicle. A very small cubicle. The closeness had nearly driven him mad. He could smell Remus for fucks sake. Sirius had just about done something he would regret, when Mcgonagall opened the door, thinking the cubicle was empty. She had made assumptions and awkwardly told them to leave or else they'd get detention. They had been rather red faced from the heat and proximity. Somehow, the rumour spread, and suddenly everyone assumed they had been snogging, which Sirius was even more shocked to discover he didn't really mind. He hadn't known what had gotten into him. Why wasn't he like this with his other friends? Why was-

"FILTH!" Walburga screeched, pulling away from his head. Fuck. Sirius had gotten so focused on not thinking about being an animagus or Remus being a werewolf, that he had honed in on the next worst thing. The thing he didn't even fully understand himself. "HOW DARE YOU! NO SON OF MINE ENGAGES IN SUCH ACTS! ITS BAD ENOUGH THAT IT IS A HALF BLOOD, BUT A BOY AS WELL? HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING OF THE NOBLE AND MOST ANCIENT HOUSE OF BLACK? DIFFINDO! DIFFINDO!"

Sirius yelped in pain as two large, but precise wounds opened: one across his chest and the other down the back of his leg. As the pain became too much to bear he collapsed the the floor. He could see the blood running onto the carpet. From his place on the floor, he could see Regulus, still hiding under the bed, with fear in his eyes. Sirius tried to give him a smile. This wasn't the worst Walburga had ever punished him.

"Get up," she said sharply, "Now!"

Sirius forced himself to his feet unsteadily, clutching his bedpost for dear life.

"I will be discussing this with your father. We will decide your punishment." She turned her back to him and left the room.

Immediately, Regulus was next to him. Lucky he was, because at that moment, Sirius's legs buckled and Regulus was able to soften his fall. Now the pain was truly excruciating. Sirius was taking shallow breaths. His vision was going all spotty. He didn't want his little brother seeing him like this.

Regulus cursed under his breath and ran the the ensuite bathroom for towels. Sirius groaned in pain.

"Okay, okay," said Regulus, returning, "You're okay, just, I'll do your leg first, okay?" Sirius nodded and Regulus wrapped his leg in the towel, tying it tightly with a knot. The pain was getting red hot, Sirius hissed at the sensation. Regulus was frantically trying to stop the blood flow.

"Fuck, okay, um, take off your shirt and lie down." Sirius did his best to obey, but he couldn't lift his arms enough to take his shirt off. Even moving them at all shot bolts of pain all over his body. Luckily it was a button up shirt, so Regulus reached over and started undoing the buttons for him, his fingers slipping on the bloodier ones. He all but pushed Sirius to the floor and pressed the second towel to his chest.

"Shit. I think this would need stitches..." He trailed off, "Just don't move until the bleeding stops, okay?"

"That's easy for you to say, you're not the one who could have just been killed."

"Stop being dramatic, you're not dying."

"Oh, of course not. I'm immortal, actually. This was simply a rouse planned to convince you mortals I can die."

"Your joke sucks. Try to focus on not bleeding out."

"Aww, you do care for me Reggie!"

"It's not too late for me to kill you and make it look like an accident."

"Of course it isn't."

The next morning Kreacher came to fetch Sirius for breakfast for the first time in what felt like weeks. He was considering not going, but his hunger convinced him.

So, down he limped all the way to the ground floor with great struggle, refusing to ask Kreacher for help, despite the fact that it would have made the whole process a lot quicker and easier. Finally, he entered the dining room, where Walburga, Orion and Regulus were already seated. He sat down in his spot next to Regulus and stared at his plate of pancakes. He knew something was wrong when Regulus gave him a sorrowful look. Breakfast commenced in tense silence.

"We weren't going to let you go back to Hogwarts," Walburga said suddenly. Sirius almost spat out his pancakes. "Do regain your composure, Sirius. We are at the table. As I was saying, we weren't going to let you go back to Hogwarts, given your filth, but then people would ask questions about the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black. However, you will not go unpunished. I have written to Professor Mcgonagall and requested that you change dormitories. You are not to interact with that half breed ever again. Am I understood?"

Sirius's heart sunk. No more late nights talking to James? Or playing chess with Peter? Or planning pranks with Remus? "Yes, Mother," he said gloomily. Of course he was still planning on talking to his friends, but not sharing a room with them would make things too different.

He spent the rest of the day sulking and nursing his fresh wounds. What would Hogwarts be without his dorm? Who would his new roommates be? He couldn't even imagine it. He thought about talking to Regulus but decided he'd rather not. They never spoke about such vulnerable topics, and Regulus seemed to be avoiding him anyway. 

Just as Sirius was getting ready for bed, there was a knock at his door. As the door opened and Kreacher came into view, he could hear the distant sound of Walburga screeching two floors down.

"Good Master Regulus sent me to inform you that Mistress has just received word from Hogwarts. There's no other available dorm. You are to remain in your current room," he said irritably before shutting the door again.

Sirius broke into a grin. This year was going to be unforgettable.