Chapter 2
Sirius was numb. He had been in Azkaban for over two years. The twenty nine tick marks on his cell wall represent every full moon that he spends in this place. Water drips outside his cell window. The rhythmic drips annoy Sirius.
When you arrive at Azkaban, you go through the five stages of grief. Denial, anger, depression, bargaining, denial, and finally acceptance. Acceptance happens on a few days at the end of the first month. Sirius usually adds another tick to his collection before the newcomers stop screaming about injustice.
His newest neighbour doesn’t scream at all. ‘Maybe he wants to be here.’ The notion seems impossible. The moon and went. Only half illuminated. The Dementors seemed fascinated with Sirius’ cellblock. They visited twice as often. Probably due to the influx in happiness.
Sirius became very familiar with the screams of Azkaban’s newest. He was trying to block them out one day, to distract himself by reciting random facts about the night sky. Specifically its stars.
“Leo is a zodiac constellation. It is most visible in April and May, located in the northern hemisphere. Denebola is the second brightest star in this constellation only outshined by-”
“Regulus.” A horse, scratchy voice says. Sirius perks up. That’s the right answer and it sounded like it came from next door. The voice continued. “Regulus is the 21st brightest star in the sky. Other bright stars include Vega, Rigel, and Sirius.” The last name is spat like an insult.
Sirius swallowed. He had not spoken in over a year. “What-” Sirius coughed, “what’s your name?”
The voice huffed, amused. “Bartemius Crouch Jr.”
Sirius tugged the frays of his memory. He knew that name. Crouch, Crouch, Crouch- “Barty?!”
Kill him now.
It is still dark out when Sirius wakes. His bedroom curtains aren’t closed out of habit. There were no sun blockers in Azkaban. Not even glass. Just open air windows– one per cell– and bars blocking any attempts at escape.
At first, Sirius believes he’s back in Azkaban. It is dark and dreary.
There is noise outside his room. Sirius managed to lift a wand from a dumpster behind a store on his way to Grimmauld but it’s finicky. He hadn’t managed a strong silencing spell last night so it has faded.
“Uncle Reg! Have you seen my wand?!” A male voice hollers from further down in the House. Sirius assumes Harry and Regulus are already awake. It’s September 9th, Harry’s first day of Hogwarts. Nostalgia hits Sirius.
“C’mon Sirius, we’ll be late!” James called
“James, it’s barely even morning. We couldn’t possibly be late now even if we were going backwards!” Sirius yawned. He spent the night at the Potter’s. His own mum and dad will be too focused on Regulus to even care.
It’s the boys’ third year. The Hogwarts Express leaves at nine a.m. James insisted Sirius and him both needed to be there at six a.m. He dragged Sirius out of his slumber at four in the morning to get ready.
Sirius whined and complained the whole time. Even on their way to the station, Sirius made his protests loud and clear. It wasn’t until the two arrived in their unofficially claimed cart on the train that Sirius quieted. He immediately flopped across the entire right seat and fell into a deep sleep.
Not much could wake Sirius Black when he was sleeping. So it wasn’t surprising Sirius woke when the train was already moving steadily. What was surprising was the fact Sirius now had a pillow behind his head. He looked around. Peter was staring out the window beside James. James was locked in a hushed talk with Remus while searching his trunk. Remus, Sirius sucked in a breath, Remus was his pillow.
The taller boy chatted idly with James. Sirius was glad for the ongoing distraction. He knew he wasn’t the most gorgeous sleeper. Especially not being as tired as he was. Sirius took a second to rub the sleep out of his eyes and wipe the drool off his chin.
The movements eventually did catch Remus’ attention. The boy smiled softly down at Sirius. It was a full moon last week so Remus’ eyes are more green than brown. Sirius tried to return the expression, getting lost in the prominent green threads of his best mate’s hazel eyes. He was about to apologise to Remus when James stole both of their attention.
“AHA! I didn’t forget it!” James held his wand in the air
Remus smiled a new smile. “Brillant, mate. Knew you’d find it.”
‘I want a smile. My own smile. One you wear just for me.’ Sirius thought as he watched Remus watch James twirl his wand.
Sirius paces his room. He can’t open his bedroom door. He won’t.‘What if it was all a dream? What if I’m back in Azkaban.’ “Reg! I still can’t find my wand!” Harry sounds panicked now. A loud groan sounds. “Well I don’t know where it is.” Regulus grumbles quietly in the hallway.
“Did you check his trunk?” Sirius mumbled the suggestion through the door. He doesn’t mean for Regulus to hear him but of course his brother does. “Check your trunk!” Regulus yells after a beat of silence. Footsteps get louder and stop outside Sirius’ closed door.
Regulus’ voice is strained and so clearly tired. “Sirius?” Regulus knocks, “I made breakfast.” He almost sounds like the younger Regulus who would wake Sirius up when he burnt toast and didn’t want mother or father to find out.
Eventually, hunger overridden Sirius’ worries about opening the door. When he reaches the landing of the staircase, Sirius follows his nose to the kitchen. Sirius hasn’t realised he has transformed into Padfoot until he reaches the kitchen.
Regulus is climbing the kitchen cabinets trying to grab a mug. His back is too Sirius again. Padoot barks in greeting. Regulus jumps and falls backwards. Padfoot runs forward and transforms again. Sirius outstretches his arms below his brother in preparation to catch him.
Instead, Regulus descends in slow motion, gracefully meeting the ground. Sirius blows out a breath of relief. Regulus blinks up at his brother. “I need coffee for this.” He re-ties his hair and brushes himself off the ground.
Sirius was never much of a coffee drinker. He always preferred tea. This is just another bullet point on Sirius’ ever growing list of things that’ve changed. Coffee doesn’t taste terrible. He adds half the jug of milk to the rich liquid.
“James always took his with sugar.” Regulus comments. This information shocks Sirius momentarily. He had no clue Regulus and James were close. Close enough to have coffee together. Sirius assesses his brother. Regulus couldn’t be more of the anti James Potter. He is- was(?) a Deatheater. James was one of the strongest members of the Order of the Phoenix.
Harry comes in– sliding on the floors in his socks, effectively snapping Sirius out of his stupor. The younger boy makes a swipe for Regulus’ mug but fails. Regulus levitates the coffee safely above his head. “Ah ah.” Regulus tsk’s.
Harry pouts. “Pleaseee uncle! I got up too early!”
“And who’s fault is that?” Regulus counters
Sirius chuckles into his own cup. “His dads’-”
Regulus shoots Sirius a glare that could cut glass. Even Walburga would be jealous right now. Harry, on the other hand, perks up at the mention of his father. He quickly masks his excitement with a scowl, much like Regulus.
“What would you know about my dad?” Harry bites. Regulus frowns slightly but looks over at Sirius, waiting to hear what he’ll say. “You’re dad was my best friend. He used to get up really early too and regret it later.” Sirius watches as interest practically sparkles in Harry’s eyes.
Regulus isn’t diverting the conversation so Sirius carries on. “James used to get up early for everything. Quidditch practice, OWLs, NEWTs, even some classes. Woke up the whole bloody dorm room.” Sirius sips at his coffee.
Regulus pushes a plate of toast towards Harry. “Quidditch practices. My dad was a Chaser right?” Harry bites into a slice of toast. Sirius side eyes his brother. ‘What has Regulus told Harry about his parents?’
“Best Chaser the castles ever had!” Sirius says enthusiastically. “Even better than me, I hate to admit.” Sirius notices Regulus retreat into himself a little. Harry continues to wolf down slice after slice of toast. “Y’know, Reggie here was actually the best Seeker in Hogwarts history.” Sirius nudges his brother.
Competitiveness flashes in Harry’s eyes. The boy licks his lips. “I bet I could give him a run for his money.” Harry glances at Regulus. Regulus scoffs and places his coffee cup in the sink. “Oh please” Reggie says sarcastically, "I'd wipe the field with you. Why don't you invite Sirius to your next game."
Harry brightens and looks at Sirius. “Can I invite Uncle Moony too?” Harry asks Regulus. That name seizes Sirius by the heart. He momentarily forgets all about the acknowledgement of Remus’ existence by the knowledge Regulus knows Remus. ‘How?’ Sirius hasn’t seen Moony in almost thirteen years. His brother must know this. “I guess you’ll have to ask him.” Regulus shrugs. Harry groans dramatically. “I’ll be at school!”
Regulus smirks. “I’m sure you’ll see him around.” Regulus shrugs and looks off to the side. It’s clear Regulus is hiding something. After over a decade of separation, Reggie hasn’t gotten anymore coy. Regulus glances down at his bare wrist. “You better get going, Harry. Or you’re going to be late.” Regulus jokes as Harry takes off like a bat out of hell.
Sirius chuckles. It dies quickly. “Uh oh,” Regulus rolls his eyes, “I know that look. What?”
“Why does Harry seem starved for information on James? Haven’t you told the boy anything about his father?”
Regulus stares back at Sirius. “Yes. I have. I don’t know if you know this, but James and I did not end things on the greatest of terms.”
Sirius knows that. He still can’t believe James was friends with Regulus. ‘They were friends, right?!’. “What were ‘things’ exactly?” Sirius asks with warning; as if he already knows the answer and hates it. Regulus’ left arm tenses. Sirius swallows again. “No-” Sirius denies. Regulus nods once, concise and affirming Sirius’ thoughts.
“No.” Sirius reiterates in mild horror and disbelief. Regulus’ Adams’ Apple bobs. “The beginning of my fifth year until March of my sixth year.” Regulus glances over at his brother. A pitying and cruel smile takes over Regulus’ face. There is an underlying bit of apprehension in his eyes though. “We were in love.” Regulus scoffs as if that's ridiculous. “Or so I thought.” He rubs his bare forearm where the Dark Mark would’ve been. “James Potter broke up with me after I returned to Hogwarts with the Dark Mark inked on my forearm.” Sorrow flashes through Regulus’ expression.
Sirius laughs, completely unempathetic. “That’s- that’s ridiculous!” he says hysterically. “James would never date my little brother!” Sirius accuses. Regulus’ jaw clenches tight. “He dated Regulus Arcturus Black.” Rage rises in Regulus’ voice. “Still! That makes me your blood!” Sirius yells. Regulus throws his head back with a cackle. “Oh are you now?” Regulus shakes his head. “My blood has done nothing but spill mine and leave. So tell me brother, what's your poison?” He quirks a brow.
Sirius is stunned. He can’t believe his brother's bluntness. When Regulus was younger it was always ‘yes, mother. No, father’. This version of Sirius’ brother is much more biting. Sirius must say he prefers it.
Regulus smirks as Sirius’ mouth opens and closes. He’s finally got his brother speechless. “Harry! We ought to be at Kings Cross by now!” Regulus calls out. Rapid thumping on the stairs sounds. Harry appears, his glasses askew. “I can’t find my scarf! I’ve been looking for ages!” He cries out rather loudly despite his close proximity. Regulus cringes; his shoulders up to his ears. Sirius smiles widely at Harry.
“You can take mine.” Sirius crosses the room with a grunt. Harry’s eyes widen. “I should have one or two hidden away from before I ran away.“ Sirius firmly clasps Harry’s shoulder. “You were a Gryffindor?!” Harry’s eyes go as wide as saucers. Sirius raises an eyebrow. He wonders if Regulus ever told Harry of him? “Why yes, the one and only!” Sirius feigns cheerfulness.
Harry furrows his brows. “But-” he looks at Regulus, “Is that why he was thrown out?” Harry arches a sharp eyebrow. Sirius gapes. He’s right there! Regulus rolls his eyes. “I know, ridiculous right?” Harry huffs. He looks at Sirius pityingly. “Unfair, more like it.” Harry’s defiant eyes are exactly like Lily’s.
Sirius retrieves his old Gryffindor scarf from the floorboard in his bedroom. He hands it to Harry. Along with one of the spelled pocket mirrors James gifted Sirius back when he lived at home. Harry feels the mirror through the scarf and looks at Sirius. Sirius just holds one finger up to his lips. ‘Shhh’ he mimes with a wink. Harry grins. “Shall we go?” The younger boy turns to Regulus.
Kings Cross hasn’t changed in the many years since Sirius was last here.
“You guys will write, right?” Mary asked with tears in her eyes. Lily nodded. “Of course, every week.” Lily hugged her friend. Sirius rolled his eyes and leaned into Moony’s side. “I won’t be writing every week” he mumbled into Remus’ side.
Remus’ hand drifted up Sirius' back. His fingers interlaced with the inky strands of Sirius’ hair and pulled. “Behave.” Moony chastised. Sirius elbowed his boyfriend. Remus grunted. “Let’s go.” He whispered in Remus’ ear. “But James-” Remus started. Sirius jabbed him in the abdomen again. Moony grunted louder. Their group halted their conversation and cocked brows.
“We’re gonna head out.” Remus muttered, still covering his front. That group nodded. Mary had tears in her eyes as she whispered something to Remus. Remus nodded and said something back. Before Sirius caught what they were talking about, Remus apparated them away without a word.
Sirius wishes he would’ve stayed at the platform that day.
Over a decade later, Sirius is still expecting James Potter to be bouncing on the balls of his feet, waiting for Sirius. Sirius shakes his head; both to clear his thoughts and because he hasn’t shifted into Padfoot in over 24 hours. To his knowledge. Sirius sometimes shifts unconsciously in his sleep. A habit he picked up in Azkaban.
The train station is empty. Except for two other students sitting beside each other on a bench further into the platform. Sirius throws the invisibility cloak he borrowed from Harry, over his head before either of the kids can look his way.
“HARRY!” a girl Harry’s age perks up on the bench in front of them. The girl is shorter than Harry. She wears simple black school issued robes and a Gryffindor scarf. The girl has her dirty blonde, curly, long hair, pulled back into a low ponytail. A redhead boy is fast asleep beside the girl. He stirs and blinks his eyes open at the sudden commotion. “Harry!” The boy jumps off the bench beside the girl and races towards Harry. The three kids collide in a hug. The youthful friendship radiating off the trio reminds Sirius of his school friends.
The girl wrenches out of the embrace suddenly. She pulls her copy of The Daily Prophet from inside her robes and hits Harry over the head with it. Sirius is taken off guard by the drastic shift and snaps out of his nostalgia. “Harry James Potter! I can’t believe you just stopped writing! I thought you were dead!” The girl scolds Harry.
Harry chuckles. “Hermione! It was one letter!” The boy chimes in. “Yeah, lay off.” The girl Harry called Hermione turns her fiery gaze on the redhead. The boy doesn’t flinch. He yawns widely. Hermione elbows the boy. “Don’t you say a thing, Ronald Weasley! You didn’t write once all summer!” The boy- Ron, looks sheepishly at the ground and shoves his hands in his pockets. He mutters something Sirius doesn’t catch. Harry and Hermione do though as they break out into laughter.
Hermione turns her head to Regulus. “Mr. Black,” She nods. Regulus smirks. “Ms. Granger.” He returns. Hermione smirks and looks over at Sirius. Or- the empty space Sirius occupies while hidden under his cloak. Hermione reaches out and yanks the cloak. Sirius’ hair crackles from the static friction. When Sirius manages to clear his face of his own curls, he looks down at Hermione. The young girls’ lips part and she frantically glances down at her paper. Then, Hermione sends a confused look at Harry, who simply smiles.
“You’re Sirius Black.” Hermione deadpans
Sirius nods. “I am.” He confirms. Ronald’s jaw drops. His eyes widen. His scream is silent but his horror loud. Hermione scowls. “The Dementors are looking everywhere for you. Your prison break even made the muggle news.”
Sirius cringes. “I sure am popular.”
“You’re- he’s- you- you killed someone!” Ronald points at Sirius with a shaky finger. Sirius restrains an eye roll. The indignant need to defend himself rises. Hermione beats him to that though. “Honestly Ron. Do you think Harry would be so calm if the man who murdered his parents is escorting him to the platform?”
Sirius opens his mouth to say something but Harry yells loudly. “WHAT?!” Harry booms. He whips his head in Regulus’ direction. Regulus doesn’t blink. “What did you think Sirius was in prison for?” He says plainly, as if he’s almost bored. Harry opens and closes his mouth until the light fixture behind him explodes. Sirius baulks at the display of accidental magic. Regulus raises a single eyebrow.
“Already breaking the law, Potter?” A preppy voice calls out. The trio of kids turn around. Ron’s face screws up, Hermione crosses her arms over her chest, and Harry opens his mouth. “Shove off Malfoy.” Harry sasses.
Malfoy… Malfoy… Where has Sirius heard that before? “Cissa.” Regulus uses an extravagant voice like he used when talking to Walburga and Orion. The shoe drops when Regulus says that. “Regulus” Narcissa replies in an equally formal tone.
Narcissa Malfoy (nee Black) married Lucius Malfoy when she graduated from Hogwarts. She is one of Sirius and Regulus’ first cousins. Narcissa is the middle child of Druella and Cygnus Black. Her two older sisters are Andromeda Black and Bellatrix Black. Regulus always favoured Narcissa out of their three cousins whilst Sirius gravitated towards Andromeda. It seems the two maintained their strong bond even after Regulus left the Deatheaters.
Regulus raises another eyebrow and glances at Narcissa’s side. “Where is Lucius this morning?” Regulus inquires. Lucius. Regulus says his name so casually. As if he didn’t completely upheave the whole Black Family. When Lucius won Narcissa in an underground bidding war, his family treated Cissa no better than a House Elf. Sirius snarls under his breath at the reminder. Narcissa and Regulus look over at Sirius, halting their conversation.
“Ministry business. Sirius, it has been a while.” Narcissa assesses Sirius from head to toe. A small frown tugs at the corner of her mouth. Sirius almost feels subconscious under his cousin's scrutiny. Almost. Instead, Sirius quips, “Bella says hi.” He smiles saccharinely.
Regulus snatches his hand out to grab Sirius' wrist. Sirius is momentarily knocked off kilter. This is the first time his brother has made physical contact with Sirius in over a decade. Regulus' eyes are murderous. If Sirius was a tree Regulus’ gaze alone would cut him straight down. Regulus drops Sirius' wrist as if it burns him.
“Mother,” the preppy boy interjects. “Who is this?” The boy is clearly a pureblood. Even without the assumption he is Narcissa’s son, the boy's lineage is obvious. He has platinum blonde hair, neatly gelled to his scalp, and crisp, newly purchased school robes. The boy looks to be about Harry’s age and wears the same House scarf Sirius is well acquainted with. “Ah… Sirius, my son, Draco. Draco, your second cousin, Sirius Black.” Narcissa hesitates. Sirius understands this. Lucius works for the Ministry of Magic, the very people who are most definitely hunting Sirius at this very moment. Narcissa must trust her son very much to introduce him to Sirius. That or the Code Of Secrecy bounds Draco to silence.
The Code Of Silence is the unspoken code all of the Sacred 28 pureblood wizards and witches are forced under oath to abide by as soon as they can speak. It allows way too much to happen behind closed doors that should absolutely not happen. Only a few magical people have been able to work around the oath.
“It didn’t hurt.” Sirius mutters into a pillow. His mother had cursed him several times before sending him off to Hogwarts for his third year. Her version of a reminder to behave included giving a lesson on casting pain-inducing spells. Orion, Druella, and Cygnus watched in apathetic interest as Walburga lashed different spells at Sirius, Regulus, Bellatrix, and Narcissa. The Code Of Silence bound them to not speak of this to anyone not within the Sacred 28.
The loophole Sirius found was that James qualified as one of the Sacred 28 pureblood families because he was technically Dorthea Black’s grandson. Dorthea Black was disowned for marrying into a non respectable wizarding family. However, her blood was still that of one of the Sacred 28 families. Her blood also ran through James Potter’s veins. Remus and Peter being present whilst Sirius spoke somehow did not compromise the Code at all.
Sirius sniffled after telling his story. Tears fell from his eyes and leaked into his pillow. His pillow was hugged to his chest as Remus knelt at his feet to inspect the cuts on his legs. Peter was on his knees, leaning against the wooden post of his Hogwarts bed. James paced the room beyond them, muttering in rapid Spanish, and tugging on the roots of his hair.
Remus didn’t look up from Sirius injuries. Sirius was glad for this. He felt a little pathetic, crying over pain he’s had worse of. Remus stilled at Sirius' words. His form rose and fell with a breath. Then, Remus reached for a muggle spray Sirius knew would sting like another curse. More hot tears seeped into his pillow.
“It’s okay if it did.” Remus whispered. He abruptly sprayed Sirius’ cuts. Sirius shrieked like a banshee, making him forget what he was going to say entirely.
Sirius slips into pureblood mannerisms on instinct. The old ways of his childhood come back to him in pieces. Most of what he recalls is muscle memory. He formally addresses Draco. Regulus smirks in his peripheral. Sirius steps on his brothers’ toes. Regulus doesn’t flinch. “My father will be pleased to see you.” Draco comments. Sirius snorts- okay not all his pureblood politeness has returned.
“He assumes after your imprisonment you wouldn’t go back to the light. Our Lord will welcome you with open arms.” Draco smiles. Sirius thinks he must be joking. Surely he has heard the stories of Sirius Black- the infamous wayward Black heir, disowned for being a Gryffindor. “Draco!” Narcissa scolds. Draco’s eyes sparkle in the same plotting way Orion’s did sometimes. “Why you little-”
“Sirius has no interest in rejoining the light. Nor does he show any interest in Your Lord’.” Regulus cuts off Sirius' insult.
Sirius is mildly offended that his little brother spoke for him. ‘Just like old times’ Sirius snickers internally. He is more enraged that his little brother has proclaimed Sirius’ place in the war. He is about to say as much when Narcissa says something that perks Sirius’ curiosity. “So, he will be joining your side, beloved cousin?” Narcissa cocks a brow. Regulus hums. He looks as if he should be nursing a champagne glass instead of doing school drop off before the sun has risen wholly.
“I do not pretend to know my brother's desires. However, I will intervene if he becomes a pawn again.” Regulus gives off a vaguely threatening aura. Sirius’ head whips between his two family members as if he’s watching a tennis match. Narcissa flashes her teeth, a move only seen when someone goes for the jugular. “You mean, like you intervened with Godric’s Hollow?” Narcissa says sweetly.
Dangerous rage flames in Regulus’ eyes. Sirius furrowed his brow in confusion. He stares at his brother. “Harry, I have to go!” Regulus croaks. Harry is deep in a discussion with the redhead. He nods at Regulus dismissively. Sirius isn’t sure Harry really listened to Regulus. Harry is saying something to Hermione. Regulus doesn’t stick around any longer. He turns around and bolts out of the station.
Sirius stands there, confused. Narcissa tsks. “Well that was dramatic.” Narcissa turns to address her son. “Draco, I must be off now. Write to your father when you arrive.” She announces before disapparating right where she stands. Sirius blinks at the empty space his cousin stood seconds ago and then takes off after his brother.
Harry calls out his goodbye but Sirius can’t reply. The doors are heavy and loud. He pushes through several before breaking into the outdoors of the station. Regulus stands calmly off to the side, smoking a cigarette. Sirius does a double take. His brother is smoking. The half empty pack peeking out of Regulus ropes indicates he does this often. Sirius doesn’t say anything as he approaches his brother. He’s learned he knows virtually nothing about the man in front of him.
Instead, he snags an unlit cigarette from Regulus’ pack. Regulus doesn’t show outward signs of acknowledgement. In fact, the far off look in Regulus’ eyes is haunting. When Regulus finishes his cigarette, he drops the butt and grinds it into the ground. He leaves the cigarette on the ground. The simple act of littering the ashed cigarette is the most disturbing change of Regulus’ personality Sirius has seen so far.
Sirius takes a long drag of his cigarette. “So,” he prompts, “Cissa seems… well, she seems the same as when we were kids.” Sirius comments. Regulus scoffs. “She is not the same.” Regulus bends down to retrieve his cigarette butt. Sirius gives a small smile at the action. Regulus was always a perfectionist and leaving a mess was never his style. Sirius waits for Regulus to light up another cigarette. “She is bitter I managed to escape Voldemort without taking her with me.” Regulus gives Sirius a grim look. “I suppose leaving people behind is a family trait.”
Sirius knows immediately what Regulus is talking about. The Dementors have constantly bombarded him with the awful memories of the night at Grimmauld throughout his time in Azkaban.
Sirius was bloody and bruised. He stumbled around his room on shaky legs grabbing what he could reach and throwing them into his trunk.
“Where are you going?” a fifteen year old Regulus asked in a small voice. Sirius didn’t even look over at his brother. Regulus surely hated him by now. But did he hate Sirius enough to rat him out to their parents? Sirius didn’t know. So he said nothing.
“Sirius-”
Sirius slammed his trunk shut. “Don’t follow me.” Sirius grunted
“Sirius!” The blatant distress in his brother’s voice made Sirius turn. Regulus’ eyes were frantic and wide. He gnawed on the side of his lip and cursed.
High heels clicked on the floor further down the hall. Sirius shoved his trunk under his bed. Not fast enough though, as a feminine throat clearing sounded beyond the doorway.
“Sirius, what do you think you’re doing?” Walburga asked coldly
“I’m leaving.” Sirius tried to keep all emotion from his voice. He must not have succeeded because Regulus let out a strangled squeak. Walburga hummed. “Kreacher!” She called.
The Black family House Elf materialised in Sirius’ peripheral vision.
“Yes, mistress?” Kreacher croaked
“Sirius is not to leave the premises. Nor is he to leave this room. I need to have a little chat with my son.” Walburga crossed her arms
“Of course, mistress.” Kreacher didn’t press further. Regulus winced as Walburga roughly dismissed the House Elf.
Rage flashed through Sirius. He had never been the brother to follow his parents in any way. That was Regulus. Regulus who was currently standing solemnly in the corner of the room. That was the final straw. Regulus would be fine without him.
Walburga cleared her throat and eyed Regulus. She was clearly attempting to tell Regulus to leave without words. Regulus just stared straight ahead. Walburga tucked her hair behind her ears and turned back to Sirius. “Now son-”
“Oh, store it! I’m leaving! You can’t stop me!”
Murderous emotions shone in Walburga’s eyes.
“Very well then.” Walburga retrieved her wand. “Crucio.” Walburga cursed.
A strangled noise left Regulus but Sirius couldn’t hear it. His own blood felt as if it was acid. He screamed in pain. Sirius had only witnessed the Cruciatus curse when Andromeda announced her engagement to a muggle-born boy named Ted. Sirius recalls watching his uncle Cygnus lashing the curse at his cousin. He remembers his cousin screaming much like he is.
Hearing Andy’s pained cries was nothing on making tem. Walburga continued cursing her son for what felt like hours. Sirius bit his tongue until he couldn’t make a sound. Copper liquid rose in Sirius's throat. Through his tears, Sirius watched Regulus. His brother had wide eyes. His mouth was agape and he was begging Walburga.
In English and French, Regulus pleaded. Sirius noted he wasn’t moving though. Regulus wasn’t making any move to stop. Tears streaked down Regulus’ cheeks. Sirius flinched as another curse hit him. Then, silence. The torture stopped. High heels clicked on the floor again. This time, Sirius felt the vibrations of his mother’s every step.
Silence stretched out before Regulus broke it. “She’s gone.” Regulus said in a sad voice. Sirius tensed. He was even more bloody and bruised then before. He forgot his brother was still in the room.
Sirius moaned in pain and rolled on his side. “Fuck off.” Sirius coughed up more blood. Regulus’ eyes were wide with concern. “Sirius, she-”
“Oh! You’re going to take her side? Really?! After what she just did!” Sirius groaned and pulled himself along the floor. Towards the Floo. “Sirius-” Regulus still didn’t move. Sirius dropped his jaw to shout at his brother but the world went black before he could.
Sirius came to on the Potter’s couch several hours later.
He goes through the day in his mind again. Specifically him blacking out. Sirius was over five feet away from the fireplace. How did he end up on the Potter’s couch? Sirius assesses his brother as if seeing him for the first time. “It was you!” Sirius exclaims accusingly. Regulus ashens his cigarette on the brick wall behind him. He slips the butt into a plastic bag.
“But- but why?! Why didn’t you come with me that night?” Sirius jogs up beside his brother. Regulus clenches his jaw. He swerves to the side of a person but Sirius doesn’t move in time. He collides with the tall stranger. “Bollocks, sorry! Regulus!” Sirius mutters in apology. He doesn’t look up before calling out to his brother who is disappearing down the next corner.
“Sirius?” a deep voice asks. Sirius looks up in the direction of the voice on instinct and is hit with a thousand old memories.
It was fourth year and Remus had barely written Sirius all summer. Sirius swung his legs impatiently in their cart of the train.
“Calm down Pads, He’s probably just late.” James sat across from Sirius. Sirius nawed on the corner of his lip. He was dressed in his school uniform already per his mother’s orders.
Sirius shook his head and looked at the cart entrance. “This is Moony. He wouldn’t miss this train.” James looked over the tops of his glasses. The older boy shrugged and went back to reading his newspaper.
Sirius was practically vibrating with anxiety when the train kicked forward. His eyes widened and he looked at James in panic. James furrowed his brows and folded his paper closed. The train started moving.
Ten minutes into the ride, the cart door opened. Sirius thought it was just the Sweet’s Trolly at first so he didn’t look. “Remus!” Peter cheered. Sirius immediately tore his gaze from the window to Remus.
He was prepared to scold the boy. He was prepared to bring out his best dramatics. He was prepared to demand an explanation for his friend's tardiness. Sirius, however, was not prepared for the sight he was greeted with.
Remus had hit a growth spurt over the summer and shot up a solid foot in height. Several small scars marked his face; pale white lines that were spread out on his newly defined, sharp jawline, across the bridge of his nose, and even through his left eyebrow. His skin was a dark tan from the sun, emphasising his bazillion freckles.
“Mate, alright?” James gestured to the free space across from him. Beside Sirius. Instead, Remus opted for marching straight up to the big cart window. He pulled a small rectangular case from his right trouser’s pocket and a smaller, blue rectangle from his other.
Remus wasn’t wearing his school uniform. At least, not in the way they’re intended to be worn. Chunky, black Doc Martens with frayed, untied, neon yellow laces are on his feet in lieu of the crisp dress shoes the other boys are wearing. His trousers are school-issued, black slacks, that are sewn shut in several places. His white shirt is stained and untucked, a grey, school sweater is thrown on lazily. His Gryffindor tie is strung loosely, untied around his neck. Most appalling is the fire Remus produces from flicking the blue rectangle in his left hand.
Sirius leaned forward. “What’s that?” He asked, wondrously. Remus turned to Sirius and smirked. From this angle Sirius could see Remus’ wand hazardously stored in his chucky, too-big brown and steel belt. “Fag.” Remus gave no other explanation. Sirius swallowed and moved over and gave Remus the window seat beside him.
James casted a weary look at Remus. His nose scrunched from the smell, clearly disliking it. Sirius liked the smell. He subtly leaned a little closer to Remus as the boy exhaled smoke out the window.