Chapter 4
A gentle hand was shaking her, whispering her name calmly.
“Miss Granger.. Miss Granger.. you’re safe.’
She knew that voice.
Slowly, and rather painfully, she opened her eye’s, taking in her surroundings. She was in the hospital wing at Hogwarts. No Antonin Dolohov or Lucius Malfoy to be seen. No death eaters, no Voldemort.. but also no Sirius. She felt a sharp twinge in her chest, and a vehement pain accompanying it. Trying to sit up, the gentle hand was back, easing her back onto the hospital wing cot.
Looking up, she met the expressionless face of Professor Snape, who was now easing a potion towards her lips, eyeing her in a silent challenge to refuse him, as if he knew it would be her initial reaction to do so.
‘It’s a counter curse, you need to take two more doses within the next sixteen hours for it to completely stop the spreading. You will scar, I’m afraid, but your nervous system will be fine.’ He explained, once again as if knowing her like the back of his hand had come naturally to him. Knowing she would immediately follow with accusation, asking what the potion was for and why she needed it to begin with.
Swallowing the contents of the vile in one go, he signed as he removed it from her lips. His hand remained on her shoulder as his eyes bore down to her own. For what seemed like an eternity, she found a strange longing in his eyes. Remorse was evident on his face, in his body language, and he was treating her an uncharacteristically gentle hand.
After a few moments of simply staring at each-other, he shook his head to himself, beginning to occupied once more, and moving to remove his warm, calloused hand from her shoulder. Without thinking, or even registering what she was doing, she placed her hand atop his. The air around the suddenly became thick, neither of them breathing. His eyes bounced from her hand atop his own to her eyes several times, seeming as if he was consideringsomething. She could no longer place the emotions behind his eyes, but she felt them. She knew they were there. She became aware she had not spoken a word to him since she had awaken.
Soberly, she met his piercing gaze once again, daring to give him a firm squeeze before forcing out a quiet but sincere “Thank you.”
He fell rigid against her hand, flexing his hand once before relaxing again, curling his much larger fingers around her own, nodding imperceptibly.
‘Always.’
She felt like she might be floating. Everything was warm and peaceful. Far too warm, farm to peaceful. Her eye lids felt like stone, but her body felt clean. She was no longer sticky with dried blood and after birth, she could tell without even opening her eyes. To be honest, she was afraid to open them. She was afraid of what would greet her in this too hot, too calm space. Afraid that she would see her deepest fears, Afraid that she would see nothing at all.
But, she knew she had to. She had to open her eyes, for if she was not dead, she had every reason to. More specifically, two reasons to.
Desperately clinging to consciousness, Hermione began to open her eyes. The room was incredibly fuzzy, much too bright for her liking, despite the dark and familiar surroundings. A painful but relieving sigh left her as she fully came to. Looking around the room, she noticed it seemed somewhat bigger. Perhaps, not that she wasn’t in incredible pain, and she was the only one in the room.
Except that she wasn’t. No, to her left was her best friend, looking as though she hung the sun itself with the grin he wore. She couldn’t help but attempt to grin back at him. Harry leaned forward from the chair he was perched on, abandoning the book he was reading to clatter on the floor, and kissed her on the forehead. He lingered for only a moment before speaking severely to her. “I’m at my limit. I don’t think I can handle watching you hang on to the brink of death again.”
She winced, attempting to sit up to face him fully, but he eased her back down wi a hand she was sure was meant to be gentle. Harry did have a callous hand for affection, but she knew he couldn’t help it. Sighing as he shook his head, he eased himself out of his current train of thought, expression softening as his thumb slowly ran in circles around her exposed shoulder.
“Where are they?” She asks, her voice is hoarse from screaming, and a bit dry, but she doesn’t feel pain. Come to think of it, she barley feels any discomfort aside from a head ache, and a dull pressure in her pelvic area. She also noticed she was indeed, clean, and in what felt like a pair of Finley made muggle pajama pants, and a tanked top. The blanket covering her had an everlasting heating charm placed upon it, and the already luxurious mattress had a cushioning charm. Her heart warmed at the care her friends had shown her in her state, despite the burden and god only knows the trauma she had inflicted upon them. Showing up in the early hours of the morning, practically forcing them to assist her with the traumatic birth of twins.
Of Severus Snape’s children. Gods, that must have been hard for Harry. Her heart squeezed as she felt adoration for him, her oldest and truest friend. She was right to trust him.
He shifted a bit, a small smile playing at his lips.
“We’ve turned the storage cupboard just over there into a small nursery,” he began, a bit of mirth shining in his sea-green eyes, “don’t worry, we extended the room. No need for anymore cupboard babies in this family, that’s for certain.” The way he spoke with such happiness brought tears to her eyes. He still considered her family, considered her wee babies family.
“They’re sleeping now, they’ve actually just gone down. Molly has been doing some off mid-wife-magic to extract mother milk from you, so they’re well fed. I didn’t ask about how she does it, quite frankly there’s only so much I can take. “ he chuckled, looking back down to her, stroking her shoulder affectionately yet again. “They’re even more plump than when they popped out, I’ll say. Amazing what five days can do.”
“Five days?!” She exclaimed, once again attempting to sit upright. He left her this time, slowly extracting his comforting hand. Five days, she had missed five whole days of his infants life. These days counted the most, or at least that’s what she had read. Skin on skin binding, proper nursing, reading to them, playing them music, adjusting to their sleep schedule. They were all essential. How would they know she was their mother now, surrounded by three women she was sure that had not left their side since they were born.
She felt weak and numb as she slowly began to curl into herself. Her body was made for child birth. That’s what all the books had said. Twins or not, she should have gotten through just fine. Molly had with all of her children.
Clearly, her thoughts were plain as day because Harry’s expression hardened significantly.
“Don’t you start self-deprecating on me, Hermione. I’m not going to ask what happened between the two of you, that’s your business. Though, I’m always here if you need to speak to someone. But, you went through a tremendous amount on your own. I am so grateful you came here, and they will be too. You’ll see, as soon as they wake up. They look for you everywhere, of course Severus never leaves their side, unless he’s in here with you while they sleep. McGonagoll had to basically hex him out the door to get supplies.”
She barley registered what was being told to her. The world caved in, and she thought for sure she had died. Or that this was a dream. Or some cruel way of getting back at her for going missing for all those months, for making them worry. But Harry wouldn’t do something like that, surely..
“Severus? Is.. he’s dead. We saw him die. I watched him die, Harry. What is.. what do you..” Suddenly, she could breathe. Alive? He was alive? She had exiled herself.. for no reason. No, surely not. She watched him die. She relived that moment in gruesome detail often in her sleep. She had been the last to see his dark, ember eyes, tear stricken, bloodshot and lifeless. She had closed them.
“No..” Harry began slowly, furrowing his brows, “He was sent to a private facility in Ireland. Knees of his survival wasn’t made public until about four months ago, but he’s been out of the hospital and free since he was acquitted back in Sept..tember.” Harry had that look on his face, the one he got when dots were connected far, far too late. She couldn’t dwell on it, she couldn’t think. Her ears were pounding, her heart was racing, her blood was vibrating. She couldn’t breathe.
He was alive.
Severus Snape was alive.
Her children had a father.
“Breathe, in with me, that’s it, out with me. It’s okay. It’s going to be-“ a loud crack interrupted, and hushed, angered tones could be heard just outside the doors.
“Severus, really. You need to have some opinion of their clothes, trinkets. Goodness, something!” She heard McGonagall whisper-yell as Harry broke into a knowing smile, turning his attention to the door as the spat continued.
“I’ll be making no decisions on my own. A few changes of clothes is one thing, but they may have an entire home to go to that isn’t this blasted house. And I’ll be damned if I set up a nursery in my home just for it to sit there and mock me. It’s all her decision.”
His voice was softer, she noticed. Tired, like he had been perpetually exhausted. She supposed he must have been, for god sake he was a free man! He could be doing anything with his life. He could have a life.. his own. Bike rose to her throat as footsteps neared the door, trying to ease herself down from her panic attack, but he was just too fast.
Walking through the threshold with a severely irritated expression, two bags of what she presumed to be infant necessities, and a book cramped between his bicep ad rip cage, was Severus Snape. Alive, flesh and all. Despite the relief, she was also in a state of deep panic. What if he had a life? He had made a comment about things being her choice, did he not want to be apart of their children’s lives? But then again, he hardly seemed like the type on man who would want progeny to begin with. In fact, she had come to know with great certainty he loathed children. But then, why would he be here?
Her mind filtered back through to the memory of the magical birth certificates.
‘Lord & Lady,’ they had said.
Oh no.
Severus Snape, was the last living member of the House of Prince.
He was a Lord.
And by birthright, his children were his heirs.
She felt like she’d be sick.
“How is she today, Potter? I picked up a new book to read to he-“ with an audible snap, his mouth shut, and in a rather uncharacteristic display, he dropped everything in his hands, said book included, and made haste to her bedside. Not bothering for formalities, another bewildering act, he sat directly next to her, taking in her appearance. She felt his eyes ablaze, frantically taking her in as if she wasn’t real. As if he hadn’t been the one to die in front of her. Well, then again, he is definitely not dead. But..
“I watched you die.” She croaked, tears once again leaving her eyes as he turned his head to Harry, and though she couldn’t see his face, it was enough to send Harry running as if his ass had caught fire. Turning his attention back to her, she felt his hesitant hand wipe away her tears, though they continued to flow.
“I watched..I.. oh god!” She fell forward, attempting to curl in upon herself, but he held her steadfast, with tentative, gentleness that she remember from the night he had taken her. The night he was sure to think would be hidden in the deepest depths of her brain for ever.
“Shh.. I’m here..I’m..” His voice was thick with an unsure emotion, and try as she might, she couldn’t control herself as she let every emotion poor through her. All the grief, the guilt, the gratitude. It all spilled from her as if she was a broken sink.
“I didn’t.. I didn’t know.” He began, slowly pulling her back to make eye contact with her, as if he was willing her to see the sincerity in his eyes. “I didn’t know.. I wouldn’t have.. how did you.. know?”
Several moments passed as she regained her composure, incredibly grateful for his patience, and began to speak.
“I was.. trying to reverse the memory charm. I obliviated my parents, before we.. went away. I sent them out of country. But I wanted them back, so I tried to.. I created a spell for it, and I tested it on myself. And then suddenly, there you were. It didn’t work them, it only works and magical folk who have been..” She held back a sob, trying her best to continue. Breathing deeply through her nose, she continued.
“I remembered that night. She.. wanted to give me to.. Greyback. And you came in. Demanding to have me. Demanding privacy. Healing me from the abuse Dolohov and Goyle and Malfoy had.. and you kept, apologizing. Telling me it would be over soon. You were.. gentle, and kind.” He was shaking now, the muscles in his jaw working in what seemed to be a painful restriction, willing himself not to speak. She took it as a sign to continue.
“We were all at the burrow, and I just. I got sick, really bad. Molly thought maybe it was because I wasn’t used to eating, my body wasn’t used to being hydrated, or warm. But then I thought back, to after you’d left. Bell.. she cast a spell, to.. to make sure you.. finished. You were the only one that did.. and I just. I knew.”
Taking another deep breath through her nose, she felt his hands ground her, and she once again continued to divulge.
“I took.. five, six, maybe seven muggle pregnancy tests; all positive. And then, I cast the charm. It was to the exact date. And I was afraid. Afraid it was too soon since the war. Afraid, people wouldn’t know who you really were. I thought.. I thought you dead, Severus.” She began to cry again, voice breaking with each word. “I knew if I stayed, I would ridiculed, they.. they could make me terminate. But I just couldn’t. If I went to a muggle hospital.. accidental magic is not uncommon, or so I have read, for pregnant witches. I.. essentially exhumed myself. Sold my parents home in London, and paid a years worth of rent for a flat.”
Sparing him a glance, she realized he too, had tears silently trailing down his cheeks. She would have buckled then and there, had she been standing. His eyes had an essence of what could only be described as longing. Sitting more upright, she slid her small hands under his own, his fingers immediately wrapping around her pulse point. Her breath hitched as his grip tightened ever so slightly.
“I..”
“And I did.. all of it for nothing. You’re a free man. You’re alive.. and you have two children you never wanted, a product of doing the honorable thing.. I’m so, so sorry Severus.”
“No.” His voice was firm, if not hurt. His grip got even tighter as he willed her to meet his eyes once more. “No, Ms. Granger. I will admit.. I came here with every intention of declaring my intent to provide financial support. As well as everything those children are enticed to by means of the Prince Estate, and do tell you in no uncertain terms that I would be providing for you as well, as their mother.” Her heart sank at his words, but she knew it was hormones. It was shock. It was the ridiculousness of this entire situation. He truly was an honorable man.
“But then.. then I held them. I met them. The very second they were in my arms, I.. my life well and truly became forfeit. I would do anything for them. I swear, if you allow me so, I will learn. I will be the father they deserve. I will compromise, I will learn with you, but I want.. I need to be in their lives. I-“ His heart-wrenching declaration did not meet full fruition, as a small, squeak-like cry pulled them from their own morose bubble of longing. Wet smile met wet smile and he stood, releasing his hood on her wrists.
“I believe, there are two very sweet, curly haired little cherubs who would like to properly meet their mother.”
The somberness of their conversation had all but evaporated as he took large and quick strides to the cupboard-turned-makeshift-nursery to retrieve their son and daughter. Within the block of an eye, he was back by her side with one still very sleepy boy, and one incredibly alert little girl. She couldn’t help the Cheshire like grin the graced her face as she quickly and unabashedly took in the sight of him holding their babes. He looked so.. at peace. Fulfilled, she had decided. He looked fulfilled, sitting their, on the edge of her bed with each child cyclones closely to her chest.
“Isobel, Regulus.” The baby stirred at his fathers gentle voice, while Isobel’s dark irises trained solely on his lips as he spoke. “Mother is awake, would you like to see her?” His voice truly was heartbreakingly gentle, cooing down at the small bundles. Slowly, carefully, he handed her Regulus first, who was just waking, gracing her with a flimsy full body stretch before recoiling back into what she had referred to him her mind as “frog-stance.”
Isobel followed suit, Severus wrapping a hesitant arm around Hermione’s side, attempting to help with posture and weight.
“I know you.. you’ve only just woken. I don’t mean to insult you.” As he began to withdraw, she leaned back into his arms, propping her elbow above his, quietly grateful for the support.
She looked down and really took them in. They were.. perfect. She could tell she was right at birth. Regulus would definitely have her darker skin, while Isobel was as pale as her father. Her eyes the same sable-grey, nearing black as his. Her curls still full and prominent. Her chunky little arm had broken free from her swaddle, and she began to fiddle with her lower lip. Definitely a trait inherited from him as well. Turning her attention to a now shifting Regulus, she took in the details of his freckles, slightly more noticeable than Isobel’s. His hard was lighter than Severus’ but darker than hers, and she suspected it would only darken as he grew. Looking up at her inquisitively, he began to coo, a soft gurgling like sound. As if he were trying to say hello. It was then she noticed his eyes, a deep hazel brown, much like her own, but with specked of gold and green, so much like her own mothers. Her chest tightened.
Isobel continued to fidget, Regulus continued to coo, and both mother and father shook with silent tears. What would they do now? She didn’t know. All she knew, was Severus was alive. Though, she knew he would not love her, that hormones and circumstance and familial ties were a large factor at this open change and affection, she couldn’t find it in herself to care in the moment.
Her two beautiful babies were in her arms, their father alive and far more than willing and wanting to be apart of their lives. Hermione couldn’t find anything in the moment but bliss, and thankfulness.
For this moment, she would let herself be truly happy.