Symptoms start
While the team has been doing a fairly good job at keeping us updated on the case I still wish I could help. I need something to do, but it is very hard to do an autopsy when I'm an elevator ride away from the body. I can’t even do magic in fear of harming this expensive technology that could help save a life. I'm not the only one feeling anxious.
“We need to do something,” Kasie says
“Okay. Y-You're right,you're right, you're right. Um... What?” I respond. It’s not my most I intelligent answer but I hope she has an idea of what to do.
Kasie turns out not to have many ideas. But she does text Tim to let him know that if they find any prints, she can run them in the lab if they get clear enough shots with the camera. That way we don't have to wait for the FBI and maybe we can catch whatever terrorist is responsible for our current situation.
The other idea Kasie has requires us playing with chemicals to create our own antidote. It might not be the smartest plan as chemicals are what got us in this situation in the first place but I trust my highly educated friend. If this works we might be cured but if not all it can really do is kill us faster.
“Grab the tincture, add just two drops of the tropine to the tropic acid before introducing the hydrochloric acid,” Kasie instructs
“Are we sure about injecting acid?” I ask anxiously
“It won't be acid once we're done with it. The antidote to standard VX is atropine, which we don't have, but what we do have is three ingredients to make it ourselves.” Kasie says
“I-I just... I don't know if it's gonna work,” I admit
That was the wrong thing to say at that moment as Kasie starts yelling in frustration.
“Okay, I don't know either! Do you have another idea? Anything at all? Okay, this cannot be our third strike,” Kasie yells
“Okay, there you go again. That dreaded third strike you are always waiting for!” I yell back in frustration
“Well, then what the hell would you call it? Okay? I have been shot at,I've had a knife to my throat, and now it's toxic gas for the win,” Kasie snaps back
I've faced all of that and more. Dragons, dementors, angry mermaids, zombies, a basilisk, trolls, giants, you name it I probably faced it in the war. I also was with Kasie for both the gas and gunshots. Not to mention the countless terrorists I've faced in England and here. My oredacecor quit after being shot by a terrorist, I just hope my friend is made of stronger stuff. Life is not baseball, you aren't out after three strikes like Kasie would like to believe.
“Carol said we are gonna be fine, so everything's gonna be fine,” I say to try to calm Kasie down.
“And you believe her?” Kasie says
I don't really. But I have to try to believe everything is going to be fine. I learned in medical school that when someone goes into surgery, if they think the outcome is going to be bad that they statistically are going to have worse outcomes. I need to believe as believing is what allows me to keep going. Besides, panic never solved anything. I might be scared, but I'm a Gryffindor. Bravery is charging ahead through fear or whatever the saying is.
“Look at us, Jimmy. D-Do you feel fine?” Kasie asks
To be honest I don't feel great but I probably feel better than Kasie. My magic protects me against most things so poisons and illnesses have to work harder to try and kill me. At Least that's how it usually works.
“No, I-I... I don't feel fine, no, but I-I do know that freaking out about it is only gonna make things worse,” I stammer
“Okay, you know what? Spare me your constant glass-half-full routine, when all I can think about is my imminent death!” Kasie yells
“All right, if you do me a favor and maybe you stop thinking about it so loudly with my daughter in the very next room!” I scream and spin towards the place I last saw my daughter.
“She can't hear you, but I can. And both of you need to chill the hell out,” Torres orders.
Right, glass isn't soundproof. The only reason we couldn't hear any conversations earlier was the distance between Kasie’s office and where we are held. Besides, they were chatting at a normal volume and Kasie and I were yelling.
“It's not their fault. The toxin's probably causing an adrenaline surge,” Carol says from a computer screen in the back of the lab.
“Carol. Didn't see you there. How long have you been listening?” I ask her
“Long enough to say, knock it off. In fact, I want you to stop anything and everything that's gonna elevate your blood pressures, especially arguing,” Carol orders
“We weren't arguing,” I state
“Yes we were,” Kasie argues
“It was a chemically induced argument, it doesn't count,” I snap back at her.
I like to believe that the arguments said under the influence don't count, just like how love induced by potion isn't real. Some could argue ’in vino veritas’ makes all arguments under the influence have some kind of truth to them. However, drinking stops certain brain functions that we can control sober. An argument isn’t real unless you really believe your side, and while I might have felt some of the things I said Kasie also is right.
“Oh, my God. You guys need to listen! Arguing is only gonna make the toxins circulate faster!” Carol snaps before taking a meditative breath and continuing to inform us of our situation. So if you don't slow down,fatality can occur within hours of the first onset of physical symptoms”
“Well, luckily, we haven't had any physical symptoms yet. So, I mean, nothing to worry about right?” I ask optimistically
“Oh no,” Kasie states while looking at me with wide eyes. “Oh my God, Jimmy”
“What Kasie?” I look back at her confused. She seems fine and I think I would know if something was wrong with my body. But I didn’t.
“Jimmy, your nose is bleeding,” Carol states. I haven’t had a bloody nose since 6th year when Draco punched me in the face. I guess this ends my streak.
Carol then chooses to continue her explanation “According to Pastov's notes, X- is much different than VX gas. In fact, the only similarity is they can both be lethal.”
“Are we sure? Even with a standard VX, we'd have much worse than bloody noses and a short temper,” Kasie asks
“It’s a pretty bad bloody nose,” I state.
Blood is now gushing from my nose. I might be the first person to die from a bloody nose if I continue bleeding at this rate.
“Well, maybe we didn't get exposed to that high a dose. You said that fatality can occur, but maybe in this case it won’t,” Kasie says finally sounding a bit optimistic now that the science is being explained to her by her hero.
“Well, we certainly hope that that's the case, but we…” Carol begins before once again being interrupted by Kasie
“There's got to be something that we can try, right? We managed to synthesize atropine”
“Atropine will have no effect,” Carol informs us
However, while Kasie seems to be finding some hope, I understand that Carol truly believes we are going to die. I refuse to die in a box.
“So why? What? You're-you're telling us that we're supposed to just, like, sit in this box and wait to die in a couple of hours?” I suddenly say
“Jimmy” Carol and Kasie say at the same time.
“No. If I only have a couple hours left to live, I'm sorry. I'm not about to spend it in this lab. No offense, Kase,” I tell them. If I’m going to die, I’m going to die free. I’m going to die holding my daughter’s hand. She isn’t going to have to say goodbye through a screen again.
“Jimmy, what are you doing?” Kasie asks
“The toxins must have been scrubbed through the filtration system by now, all right? So I'm gonna decontaminate. I'll-I'll shower off,I'll change my clothes, and I'll spend the last few hours of my life with my daughter, if you don't mind,” I explain. If there is no hope, I’m spending my last hours my way.
“If you open that door, your killing your daughter too!” Snaps Carol, which stops me in my tracks. I can’t risk Tori.
“This is not VX we're dealing with. The lack of symptoms is by design. If you two were out in the world, you would have already contaminated countless people before feeling the ill effects yourselves. This is a perfect biological weapon, it has a hundred percent mortality rate,” she explains
I've faced those odds before and won. My mom faced those odds and she found a way for me to survive. Nothing is ever perfect. I might not beat the odds now but there is a way to win. This bioweapon isn't going to win, someone already created an antidote. It might be a theoretical solution but there are plenty of intelligent people, like Carol, who can make this cure a reality.
“I'm sorry. I wasn't upfront with you sooner because I wanted you to keep your blood pressures down,” Carol apologizes but that just makes Kasie angry.
“Keep our pressures down for what? To buy us more time? For minutes?” Kasie snaps
“I'm not trying to buy more time for the two of you. I'm trying to buy more time for your team, because our onl hope is
if they find the antidote,” Carol admits.
I'm not surprised, it's never about me, it's always about the greater good.
“So please, sit down and don't move,” Carol begs. I sit but i don't know how long I'll be able to be still.
As time passes, my breathing gets worse. I feel like I’m drowning on dry land as blood slowly fills my lungs. Kasie has been coughing up blood. Blood. Will my world end in blood? Blood forcibly taken resurrected my fated enemy, and blood itself might be my final enemy. Controlling the blood once meant controlling the pain. Now this blood created by chemicals is causing the pain. What is worse than the physical pain is the worry that this will destroy Victoria. Losing Sirius changed me. I was always an orphan, but Sirius gave me hope of a family that was ripped away. Neither Breena or I have a large family and in a lot of ways Im the only family Tori has if you don't count the team or the Weasleys or any of the family we've chosen over the years. But people always focus on blood families. She's the last of my blood, but I hope that one day Victoria will realize that family doesn't end in blood, and it usually doesn't start there either.
“My kid's whole future. What's it gonna be like?” I ask Kasie
“She said her last words to her mom on a video call. That can't happen again.” I say holding back tears.
“Jimmy,” Kasie begins but I interrupt her. Suddenly this is even more real. My chest feels like it's on fire. Is this a panic attack or is my heart literally going to explode? “My heart. My heart feels like it's beating out of my chest,” I manage to say between shaky breaths.
“Hey, hey. Buddy, please listen, okay? Victoria is gonna be fine. And you are gonna be with her,” Kasie says trying to calm me down.
“Am I though?” I ask Kasie
How would I be with her? Like my parents are with me? How Sirius is? Or will a miracle happen and I get the opportunity to still parent her? Will I get the chance to get close to her like Torres? Will I be her Arthur or her Hagrid or her Gibbs? I might not have had a dad but I had plenty of father figures. I just hope that she has the same if I have to join my biological parents on the other side of the clouds. I'm sure McGee and Torres and Ducky will be there for her if this is my end. I just hope that my death doesn't destroy her like losing Sirius almost destroyed me. Seeing the moment of death is the worst, that's what haunted me the most and I just hope Torres is able to shield her from seeing it if the worst happens.
“Oh yeah. Oh, you're-you're gonna watch her graduate. You're gonna walk her down the aisle. And one day, you're gonna hold her kids on your lap, okay? Now, those are the only thoughts you need to focus your energy on. Didn't you tell me that positive thoughts can actually have positive change? Focus on all the happy times you could have with Tori,” Kasie says
“Breena and I” I begin, even after all these months it can be hard talking about her. It's even harder when my lungs are deciding to liquefy. But I find the strength to continue talking “Breena and I just wanted her to be... happy. You know, optimistic, confident, and full of life.”
”She already is,” Kasie says confidently as she turn the intercom back on.