Chapter 1
Soft hands card through his curls, content breaths and loose limbs as regulus lays on his suns chest.
James was his sun, the life that runs through his veins. The thing that keeps the light in regulus' eyes. His escape from reality, from the standards set by his parents. By whom we don't not speak of. By himself.
But it wasn't enough. Love is a fickle thing, love can bring joy and happiness. Yet, love can't win wars. Love can't save lives, love isn't enough.
Regulus knew he was to break it off long ago, knew to break his suns heart and watch as the fire in him dims. But he was selfish, he chose to relish in the moments as he lays in james' arms.
He turns his wrist to his line of sight, the mark engraved into his pale skin a grave reminder of his future. The grave reminder that his life was never truly his, but belonged to the cruel grips of those unworthy.
He hears the soft words spoken by his love, hears himself reply in turn. He feels the ache in his chest as he sits, uncurling himself from the safety of james' touch.
"I'm sorry,"
he whispers, it's all he ever thinks now. It's all he ever feels. Guilt. It swims in his stomach and rises in his throat, swallowing it down for later.
For the sleepless nights where he stares at the ceiling, allowing the retched feelings overtake him. Alone.
He rejects the pull to lay back down, hide his face in the crook of james' neck and curl up in this daydream. The pull growing and choking him as james face contorts, bambi eyes flickering to his wrist then back up at his dull grey ones.
"Regulus.."
But he's already slipped out of the covers, already buttoning his shirt back up. Not bearing to look at his suns face, to watch as that fire yet again threatens to flicker out because of him.
He can't allow his sun to burn out, to die and have the world grieve his loss. He can't allow for another life to be lost simply because of him.
He'd decided long ago, decided to succumb to claws of death. Decided to find peace in his bittersweet success'.
He thinks of honey brown eyes and a grin that could turn gods as he sails. He wishes for luck for those he loves in his last breath.
He fades with the thought of his sun in his mind.