It had been three days since Sirius had fallen through the veil. Three sleepless nights. He’d stopped producing actual tears and now his body just shook violently. Tonks, Arthur and Molly, and Ted and Andromeda had been by to check on him. He hadn’t answered the door. He didn’t want to talk to anyone. He didn’t even remember how he got home from the ministry. Whether he said goodbye to Harry before he was sent back to school.
He shouldn’t even be here, really. In the house that his dead boyfriend hated so much. But he didn’t want Dumbledore or anyone else coming to rummage through Sirius’ things before he had the chance to go through them himself.
He suddenly sensed that he was being watched and turned around slowly. In the doorway to their bedroom stood, “Sirius.”
“Uh, Hi.” He said, sheepishly.
“Are you…” Remus paused, he didn’t look like a ghost. “Are you real?”
“I hope so.” They stared at each other, neither daring to move. “You look awful, Moons.”
“You’d look pretty fucking awful if the love of your life had just died.” Remus snapped. “What are you? A ghost? Some kind of apparition? Or am I just finally succumbing to the madness within?”
Sirius’ face dropped. “No, it’s me. I came back.”
Remus shook his head, “You can’t have come back.” He spat, “You’re dead. I watched you die.”
“I was for a bit. Saw James, Lily and Reg. It was bizarre.” He took a step into the room. “And then, just as I was getting used to the idea, the veil spat me back out.”
Remus sat on the edge of the bed, resting his head in his hands. “No.” He whispered. “How?”
“Uh, don’t actually know. I suppose they’ll want to run all kinds of tests once they find out.”
“What do you mean once they find out?” Remus looked up at him.
“Well, I suppose I’ll have to tell Dumbledore at some point.” He shrugged.
“How did you get— You just— What?”
“I found myself on the floor of the Department of Mysteries. You’d all fucked off, I turned into Padfoot and came here.” He looked at Remus’ face. “I really hope that your tears are about me, and not because something even worse happened. How long was I gone? Is Harry…?”
“Physically, fine.” Remus said quietly, “Mentally? Well, I don’t think anyone would be fine in Harry’s shoes. It’s been three days.”
“The last thing I remember is you grabbing hold of him.” Sirius took another step toward him.
“He would have thrown himself after you, I’ve no doubt about that.” Remus had been tempted to do the same, frankly.
“I’m sorry.” Sirius said, “We shouldn’t even have been there.”
“No, we shouldn’t.” Remus frowned. It wasn’t like Sirius to be this contrite. Then it dawned on him, “Did you get an earful from James and Lily?”
A small smile crossed Sirius’ features. “That’s an understatement. I’d forgotten how Lily gets when she’s angry.”
“So… you’re back?”
“It certainly seems that way.” Sirius sighed. “I probably need to go to St Mungo’s, right?”
“Would you like a cup of tea first?” Remus stood up and tentatively walked the few faces to stand in front of Sirius. He reached out a hand and gently pushed the hair back from his face, a small sob escaping when his hand touched Sirius’ warm skin. “I can’t believe you’re real.”
Sirius threw his arms around Remus’ neck, and Remus held him close. The familiar smell of his leather jacket, cigarettes and floral conditioner was too much for Remus. Sirius held him as he sobbed into his neck, whispering ‘I’m here,’ and ‘it’s alright’, and ‘I love you’.
“I’m sorry,” Remus said after a while. “This probably seems very dramatic, seeing as you’re not actually dead.”
“I wouldn’t have been strong enough to not follow you if the tables were turned, let alone to save Harry,” Sirius said in a small voice. “I think being emotionally ruined after that is fairly typical.”
“Perhaps you’re right.” He sniffled, “I spent the last three days wishing I had followed you. If it hadn’t meant leaving the house, I honestly might have done it.”
Sirius kissed the tip of his nose. “I’m really glad you didn’t.”
“Me too.” He pressed their foreheads together. “The thought of being without you again, Pads…”
“I know.” He ran a thumb along Remus’ jaw. “I’ll never leave you again, I promise.”
“You can’t possibly promise that,” Remus said.
“Fine.” He huffed, “I will do everything in my power to never leave you again. Better?”
“Depends. The next time things are kicking off, will you go racing off to play hero?”
“I already promised James and Lily that I wouldn’t.” He chuckled, “I think I have some perspective now. It sounds ridiculous. I went from prison to on the run back to, essentially a prison, and then I died.”
“And then you came back?” Remus still wasn’t convinced that this wasn’t his mind playing awful tricks on him.
“And I plan to stay back, and I’m going to be free this time. We can go back to living by the sea.”
“Yeah? You have a plan?” Remus took in the smile on his face.
“I do. Make me tea and I’ll tell you all about it.”