Chapter 1
Been Drowning In Dreams Lately
2019
Jennie didn't care that her body ached from the concert. They just finished their second night Tokyo Dome show. She didn't care that staff members were staring as she chased Lisa down the dimly lit hallway.
"Lisa, stop! Please, just talk to me!"
The blonde’s steps faltered, but she kept walking, her jaw tight, fists clenched.
Jennie finally caught up and grabbed Lisa’s wrist. She felt Lisa tense under her touch, felt the way her pulse hammered against her skin.
"Let me go, Jennie." Lisa’s voice was hoarse, but it wasn’t cold—not yet.
Jennie tightened her grip. "No. Not until you tell me what’s wrong."
Lisa turned around sharply, yanking her wrist free. "What’s wrong? Are you serious?"
Jennie flinched at the anger in her voice. Lisa rarely got mad—she was always the easygoing one, the one who turned everything into a joke. But there was no laughter in her eyes now.
"I can’t keep doing this, Jennie," Lisa said, voice shaking. "Us. Whatever this is."
Jennie’s stomach twisted. "Lisa, you don’t mean that—"
Lisa let out a humorless laugh. "Don’t I?" Her eyes gleamed, not just with anger, but something deeper. Something broken. "Do you have any idea how exhausting it is to love you in the dark?"
Jennie’s breath hitched.
"You tell me you love me, but only behind closed doors," Lisa continued. "You hold my hand, but only when no one’s looking. You kiss me, but only if there are no cameras. Do you know what that does to me, Jennie?"
Tears burned in Jennie’s eyes. "Lisa, it’s not that simple—"
"Then make it simple," Lisa snapped. "Choose me. Out loud. In front of everyone."
Jennie’s throat closed up. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to. But their careers, their fans, their contracts—it wasn’t that simple.
Lisa saw the hesitation in her eyes. And it was enough.
She exhaled sharply, shoulders slumping. "I get it now," she murmured. "I’ll always be something you love in secret. But I can’t be that anymore."
"Lisa—"
Lisa stepped back. "We’re done, Jennie."
And with that, she turned and walked away.
Jennie stood there, stunned, her heart cracking apart.
She didn’t stop her.
And maybe that was her biggest mistake.
~~~
2020
Blackpink’s 2020 comeback was finally here. The performances were electric, the fans were screaming, and Jennie and Lisa’s chemistry on stage was exactly what everyone expected—flirty, effortless, and heart-stopping.
But behind the cameras?
Lisa barely even looked at Jennie.
She was friendly, sure—professional, polite. But gone were the stolen glances, the inside jokes, the warmth that used to linger between them even when no one was watching.
Lisa had moved on. Or at least, she was trying to.
Jennie?
Jennie hated it.
Jennie flopped onto the couch dramatically, sighing loud enough for Jisoo and Chaeyoung to hear.
"I think Lisa’s ghosting me," she announced.
Jisoo, who was peeling an orange, raised a brow. "We literally see her every day."
Chaeyoung grinned. "Yeah, but not the way Jennie wants to."
Jennie shot them both a glare. "She won’t even joke around with me anymore! She used to be so cute and soft. Now she’s all cold and professional—"
Jisoo popped an orange slice in her mouth. "Maybe because you guys broke up?"
Jennie gasped. "That was a year ago!"
Chaeyoung smirked. "You expect her to act normal? You literally broke her heart."
Jennie scowled. "She broke mine too!"
Jisoo hummed. "Then fix it."
Chaeyoung leaned in. "Or seduce her."
Jennie blinked. "Excuse me?"
Jisoo shrugged. "You did say she used to be soft for you."
Jennie narrowed her eyes.
Chaeyoung wiggled her brows. "Make her whipped again."
Jennie smirked.
Challenge accepted.
So Jennie made a plan: Make Lisa Notice Her
Jennie’s first move? Turning up the heat on stage.
If Lisa wanted to act distant, fine. But on stage? Jennie knew Lisa couldn’t resist the pull of old habits.
And so, during rehearsal, Jennie hovered a little closer during choreo, made her touches linger just a second longer, brushed her fingers over Lisa’s wrist when they passed.
Lisa didn’t react.
Yet.
During their first live performance, Jennie went for the kill.
As they danced, she slid up beside Lisa, leaning into her mic and whispering, "You still ignoring me, Lalisa?"
Lisa stumbled.
Jennie smirked.
Jisoo, watching from the sidelines, snorted. "Oh, she’s so annoying."
Chaeyoung grinned. "Lisa’s gonna crack."
Lisa did not crack.
Instead, she doubled down.
Off stage, she avoided Jennie harder. No lingering glances, no teasing, no reaction when Jennie tried to bait her with cute pouts or cheeky grins.
Jennie was suffering.
It all boiled over after a performance when Jennie finally snapped.
Lisa was alone in the waiting room, stretching her arms when Jennie walked in and shut the door.
Lisa sighed. "What now, Jennie?"
Jennie crossed her arms. "You’re really gonna act like we’re strangers?"
Lisa exhaled, rubbing the back of her neck. "We’re not strangers. We’re teammates."
Jennie scoffed. "Oh, teammates? That’s it?"
Lisa’s jaw tightened. "What do you want from me, Jennie?"
Jennie’s eyes softened. "I just want… you to stop acting like we never meant anything."
Lisa looked at her for a long moment. Then she sighed, muttering under her breath, "You’re so annoying."
Jennie’s lips twitched. "And yet… you still like me."
Lisa groaned. "God, I hate you."
Jennie beamed. "No, you don’t."
Lisa gave her a look. "Fine. Maybe just a little."
Jennie grinned, leaning closer.
And just like that, Lisa was whipped all over again.
Jisoo and Chaeyoung, who had been eavesdropping outside, high-fived.
Jisoo smirked. "Pabos(fools)."
Chaeyoung snickered. "Lisa never stood a chance."
~~~
2021-2022
The world had gone quiet. No concerts, no rehearsals, no crowded airports—just silence and isolation.
Lisa told herself she wasn’t being reckless. That sneaking through near-empty streets in the middle of a pandemic wasn’t completely stupid.
But the worry gnawed at her.
Jennie had been alone for days. She wasn’t answering as much, her texts were shorter, and when Lisa called earlier, her voice had been too soft, too tired.
So Lisa was here. Hoodie pulled low, mask on, knocking on Jennie’s apartment door like she hadn’t just broken half a dozen restrictions to get there.
A pause. Then—
“Lisa?” Jennie’s voice was muffled through the door, hesitant.
Lisa sighed. “Who else would be stupid enough to come here during a lockdown?”
A few seconds later, the door opened.
Jennie stood there, messy-haired, in an oversized sweatshirt that Lisa instantly recognized as her own. Her eyes widened in disbelief. “Are you insane?”
Lisa shrugged, stepping inside. “You weren’t answering properly. I got worried.”
Jennie huffed. “So your solution was to risk your life?”
Lisa toed off her shoes, ignoring the lecture she knew was coming. “I wore a mask, sanitized, and took the stairs instead of the elevator. I’m practically a pandemic expert now.”
Jennie just stared at her, arms crossed. “Lisa.”
Lisa sighed. “What? You don’t look okay.”
Jennie exhaled, some of the fight leaving her shoulders. “I’m just… tired. That’s all.”
Lisa scanned her face—pale skin, slight dark circles under her eyes. Not sick, but off.
“Have you been eating properly?”
Jennie frowned. “Yes—”
Lisa walked straight to the kitchen. “I don’t believe you.”
Jennie groaned, following her. “You break into my apartment and now you’re judging my eating habits?”
Lisa opened the fridge. Half a carton of almond milk, a sad-looking apple, and some leftovers she definitely wasn’t touching.
She turned to Jennie with a raised brow. “Yeah, totally convinced.”
Jennie scowled. “I had food. I just… didn’t feel like eating much.”
Lisa softened. “Jen…”
Jennie avoided her gaze, shifting on her feet. “It’s just… been lonely, you know? Everything’s so quiet, and sometimes it’s too much.”
Lisa knew that feeling. The weight of an empty schedule, the lack of adrenaline, the silence that stretched too long.
So she grabbed a pan, turned on the stove, and said, “Well, I’m here now. And I’m making you food, so sit down and stop arguing.”
Jennie huffed but didn’t protest, plopping onto the stool by the counter.
Lisa worked quickly, heating up some rice, frying an egg, and cutting up some fruit. It wasn’t much, but it was warm and made with care.
She placed the plate in front of Jennie and leaned against the counter, arms crossed. “Eat. Or I’ll feed you myself.”
Jennie raised a brow. “Tempting.”
Lisa rolled her eyes, but a small smile tugged at her lips.
Jennie picked up her spoon, taking a bite. “You’re still bossy.”
Lisa smirked. “And you’re still stubborn.”
They fell into a comfortable silence, Jennie eating, Lisa watching her with a quiet sense of relief.
Then, Jennie spoke, voice softer. “You didn’t have to come, you know.”
Lisa shrugged. “I wanted to.”
Jennie’s gaze met hers, something unspoken lingering between them. They had no labels, no promises, just history and a pull that neither could escape.
“Lisa…”
Lisa tilted her head. “Hmm?”
Jennie hesitated, then shook her head with a small smile. “Nothing. Just… thanks.”
Lisa smiled back. “Always.”
If the world was ending, if everything fell apart—Lisa knew she’d still choose Jennie.
Every time.
~~~
2023
Lisa was gone.
Not physically—she was still here, still in the studio, still in rehearsals, still on stage. But she wasn’t there anymore.
Not for Jennie.
The pandemic had ended, and with it, whatever fragile thread they’d been hanging onto. Lisa had pulled away, distancing herself again, like the nights they spent tangled in sheets, whispering things they were too scared to say out loud, had never happened.
Jennie wanted to scream.
Instead, she wrote.
Her fingers hovered over the piano keys, the soft melody already playing in her mind. Every note felt like her, every lyric was them.
Does it still burn when you hear my name?
Do you ever turn and hope I’m still the same?
She exhaled shakily. It was pathetic, how much she still ached.
She should move on. She tried to move on.
But every time someone else tried to touch her, or try to kiss her, it was just—wrong.
No one would ever kiss her the way Lisa did.
No one would ever press her into a mattress, whispering between kisses, "Mine. You know that, right?"
No one would ever ruin her like Lisa had.
And Lisa? Lisa acted like she’d forgotten.
Jennie clenched her jaw, pressing down harder on the keys, as if music could drown out the memories.
She wasn’t sure why she was still awake when she heard the door creak open.
Lisa stood there at the studio, a bottle of water in hand, pausing when she saw Jennie at the piano. Her eyes flickered to the lyric sheets scattered on the floor.
"Couldn’t sleep?" Lisa asked.
Jennie swallowed. "Something like that."
Lisa nodded, not moving closer, not asking. Just watching.
Jennie used to love that gaze—the way Lisa’s eyes darkened when she was focused on her, like she was the only thing that mattered.
Now, it just hurt.
Lisa broke the silence first. "You’ve been writing a lot."
Jennie let out a soft laugh. "Not much else to do."
"About?"
Jennie looked up at her then, really looked, and for a moment, she swore she saw something flicker in Lisa’s eyes.
She tilted her head, voice almost teasing. "You."
Lisa went still.
"Would you listen to them if I said they were about you?" Jennie pressed, just to see if Lisa would crack.
Lisa inhaled, then exhaled. "You should sleep."
Coward.
Jennie smiled, but it didn’t reach her eyes. "Right."
Lisa nodded once before leaving, the air between them thick with something unsaid.
Jennie sat there, staring at the empty doorway.
Lisa could pretend all she wanted.
But Jennie knew the truth.
She had ruined Jennie for anyone else.
And deep down, Jennie had ruined Lisa too.
~~~
2024
Jennie scrolled through her phone mindlessly, but her eyes burned as she stared at the article.
'Lisa spotted on a romantic dinner date with billionaire heir Fredric Arnault in Paris!'
Her stomach twisted. There was a picture—Lisa laughing across a candlelit table, looking effortlessly beautiful, Fredric beside her, grinning like he owned the world.
Jennie’s fingers clenched around her phone.
Of course Lisa had moved on. What did she expect? That Lisa would just stay in love with her forever?
Still, seeing it hurt.
And as if the universe wanted to twist the knife deeper, her manager called a few hours later.
"Jennie, the dating rumors with Taehyung are heating up. We need to lean into it."
Jennie blinked. "Wait—what?"
Her manager sighed. "You’ve been spotted together a few times. The fans are already talking. It’s good publicity for both of you. A power couple image. Just go along with it for a while."
Jennie almost laughed. Power couple. What a joke.
She barely knew Taehyung outside of industry events. He was nice, sure, but this? This was all fake.
But Lisa’s relationship with Fredric? That wasn’t fake.
And maybe… maybe it was time she stopped holding on to something that wasn’t hers anymore.
So she said, "Fine. Do whatever you need to do."
And when the articles started coming out—'Taehyung and Jennie, K-pop’s New Power Couple?'—she told herself it didn’t matter.
Except it did.
Because when she ran into Lisa at a company dinner, Lisa’s eyes flickered to the headline on Jennie’s phone screen, then back to Jennie.
For a second, Jennie thought she saw something crack in Lisa’s expression. But then Lisa just gave her that polite, distant smile.
"Congrats," Lisa said smoothly, raising her glass. "You and Taehyung look good together."
Jennie’s heart sank.
Lisa didn’t look hurt. Didn’t look jealous.
She just looked… done.
And that’s when Jennie realized—Lisa had truly let her go.
~~~
2025
Jennie had no idea why she tortured herself like this.
Maybe it was because she missed her.
Maybe it was because Lisa had become nothing but a polite colleague these past few years—cold and distant and professional.
Or maybe it was because Lisa had moved on.
With him.
Jennie clenched her fists as she stared at the screen, Lisa’s face frozen in the thumbnail of her latest music video.
"Dream."
The song that had the whole world talking.
Taking a deep breath, Jennie pressed play.
Lisa’s voice filled the room, soft and aching.
"I still see you in my dreams
In the city lights, in the Tokyo night
But I wake up, and you're not mine."
Jennie’s heart clenched.
"I let go, you let go
Now we’re just a story untold
But did you ever love me at all?"
Her vision blurred.
Lisa’s voice was raw. Every lyric, every note—it wasn’t just a song. It was them.
Lisa had never written about their breakup before. Never acknowledged what they had.
But this? This was a confession.
And now, the world knew.
The next time Jennie saw Lisa, she cornered her in the YG studio.
Lisa barely looked surprised. Just sighed, tucking her hands into her pockets. "Knew you’d come."
Jennie clenched her jaw. "Did you write that song for me?"
Lisa exhaled through her nose, shaking her head. "Did you even listen to it?"
Jennie took a step closer. "Of course I did."
Lisa chuckled, but it was bitter. "Then you already know the answer."
Jennie’s heart pounded. "Lisa—"
"You don’t get to do this." Lisa’s voice turned sharp. "You don’t get to show up now and ask questions. Not when you let me walk away. Not when you—"
Her voice cracked, and she swallowed hard before looking away.
Jennie’s chest ached. "I never wanted to let you go."
Lisa’s jaw tensed. "Then why did you?"
"Because I was scared!" Jennie admitted, voice breaking. "Scared of losing everything—our group, our careers, you—"
"You did lose me, Jennie." Lisa’s eyes were wet now, her voice barely above a whisper. "And you didn’t even try to stop me."
Jennie inhaled sharply, stepping closer until they were only inches apart.
"Lisa…" Her voice trembled. "Do you still love me?"
Lisa let out a shaky breath, her walls finally crumbling.
"I never stopped," she whispered.
Jennie’s control snapped.
She surged forward, gripping Lisa’s face, and kissed her.
Lisa froze for a split second—then she melted.
The kiss was desperate, deep, years in the making. Lisa’s hands found Jennie’s waist, pulling her impossibly closer, like she was afraid she’d disappear again. Jennie whimpered against her lips, fingers threading through Lisa’s hair, nails scraping against her scalp—reminding her, I’m here. I never stopped wanting you.
Lisa growled against her mouth, pressing Jennie against the studio wall, bodies flush together, heat sparking everywhere they touched. Jennie gasped when Lisa’s lips trailed down her jaw, to her neck, sucking a mark that she absolutely would not be covering up this time.
Lisa pulled back, breathless, foreheads pressed together, eyes dark with emotion. "Tell me you’re not running this time."
Jennie swallowed, eyes locked onto Lisa’s, raw, vulnerable, but certain. "I’m not. I swear, Lisa, I—"
Lisa kissed her again, cutting her off, but this time it was softer. Slower. Like they had all the time in the world.
Because now, they did.
Jennie smiled against Lisa’s lips. "I love you."
Lisa exhaled, pressing a lingering kiss to her forehead.
"Good," she murmured. "Because I’m never letting you go again."
Lisa didn’t give her time to think—she just kissed her again, deeper, needier, like she was making up for every second they had lost. Jennie’s fingers clutched at Lisa’s jacket, pulling her in until there was nothing between them, not even air.
Lisa’s lips moved down to Jennie’s jaw, to her neck, sucking a mark that sent heat pooling in Jennie’s stomach. “You’re mine,” Lisa murmured against her skin, voice low and rough, possessive in a way that made Jennie shiver.
Jennie’s breath hitched. “I was always yours.”
Lisa groaned, gripping Jennie’s hips, pressing her harder against the studio wall. The tension that had been simmering for years boiled over—the missed touches, the stolen glances, the nights spent wondering ‘what if’—it all exploded between them, hot and all-consuming.
Jennie’s nails scraped down Lisa’s back, her head tipping back as Lisa’s lips found that one spot that made her knees weak. “Lisa—”
Lisa smirked against her skin. “Still know you too well."
"Shut up and just fuck me!"
Lisa didn’t need to be told twice.
She grabbed Jennie’s hips, walking her backward until the back of Jennie’s thighs hit the studio couch. With a smirk, she pushed Jennie down, hovering over her, eyes dark and filled with something dangerous and familiar.
“Lisa…” Jennie breathed, cheeks flushed, lips swollen, her fingers curling around Lisa’s collar to pull her down again.
Lisa kissed her slow, deep, and deliberate, like she was memorizing the way Jennie tasted, the way she sighed into her mouth, the way her body fit so perfectly beneath her. It was dizzying—like drowning, like finally breathing after years underwater.
Jennie’s fingers threaded through Lisa’s hair, nails scratching against her scalp. “You drive me crazy,” she whispered.
Lisa grinned, lips brushing against Jennie’s jaw. “Good.”
Jennie rolled her eyes before gripping Lisa’s waist and flipping them over again, straddling her lap, making Lisa grunt in surprise. Jennie smirked, hands sliding under Lisa’s shirt, nails teasingly scratching along her abs.
Lisa groaned, head falling back. “You’re evil.”
Jennie leaned down, lips brushing against Lisa’s ear. “You love it.”
Lisa shivered, gripping Jennie’s thighs tighter. “Yeah,” she admitted, voice rough. “I do.”
Jennie’s smirk faltered slightly at the seriousness in Lisa’s tone, her chest tightening. The teasing, the heat, the hunger—it was all real, but underneath it all, this was love. It had always been love.
Her fingers traced Lisa’s jaw, soft this time, like she was memorizing every inch of her. “I love you, Lisa.”
Lisa exhaled shakily, hands sliding up Jennie’s back.
“I love you more.”
Jennie smiled, leaning down until their noses brushed. “Impossible.”
Lisa chuckled before pulling Jennie in for another kiss, this time slow and deep—the kind of kiss that said forever.
THE END (THAT WE ALL DESERVE!)