2.
Regulus ignored Pandoras’ advice. He wasn’t planning to get closer to latino boy and he was doing great job, he have avoided James for three weeks straight. He disappeared from Gryffindor’s boy sight like a ghost; James could even say that he could see Regulus only when they had extra lessons. His friends weren’t helping with his plan, especially Pandora who was making undertones about James at every opportunity she had, and to Regulus’ unluckiness Barty and Evan made a pact with Pandora to do the same.
That is why he run away form them, to sit and read in the place when no one would disturb him; the fourth floor, the most avoided windowsill as no one bothered to go this way. It was the longest way to go and no one wanted to be the last one for the breakfast.
His peaceful moment was disturbed by latino boy. `WOW!!, I finally can see you in the place that is not the potion class!!’ Shouted James, behind Regulus. `Have you been avoiding me?’ Regulus closed his eyes, took the deep breath and let a sigh, before turning to James.
`You must have a high presumption of yourself if you think I am doing something that involves thinking about you.’ It was a big fat lie but in Regulus’ mind no one would find out about that. James occupied the biggest part of his brain, and the French boy did almost everything with the thought of him. He tried his best not to let this through but it was exhausting not to think about James, when everyone around him talked only about the latino boy.
James shook his head. `Oh don’t be such a bear. What are you reading, Baby Black?’
`Do not call me baby Black.’ Hissed Regulus.
`You didn’t answer my question.’ Regulus rolled his eyes and showed a cover of the book to his companion. The cover was grey with man’s figure on it, the yellow messy words said `Call me by your name’.
James wrinkled his nose. `What is this?’
`The book. Potter. The book.’ The words amused James, and Regulus’ heartbeat increased. Gryffindor boy decreased the distance between them, hugged the younger boy, mussing his hairs and whispered: `You are funny, baby Black.’ And before Regulus, could react, the Gryffindor boy disappeared. Regulus’ eyes widened and he quickly scanned the corridor to see if someone saw them. He tried to not to show any sights of emotions around James. However it was harder from day to day as James became more open, and because of not knowing what was the reason for it, Regulus was anxious and decided to keep the distance.
For James life started to be a routine; His mornings were full of trainings with his team, and his lessons were full of fun, even extra lessons with Regulus became the routine. He liked spending time with him, even if the younger boy wasn’t into his positive attitude. He even liked the way Slytherin boy rolled his eyes every time James was late for their extra lesson. Also things between his friends were quite on good terms; He even had everyday gossip session with Lily Evans. They have become friends, and for James it was all okay, as for him Lily’s feelings were more important then his own.
With perfect mood James entered the great hall to join his friends that were already consuming breakfast; He left earlier, to see Regulus Black. He felt that the boy avoided him, and the marauders map helped him to trace the younger boy; Sirius tried to convince James that Regulus is a bad person and that his younger brother always acted like a ghost, as it was more suitable to him. But James knew that his friends’ feelings were biased, that is why he didn’t care about Sirius’ opinion, as Slytherin boy acted differently then Sirius described him. He was mean but that was a common thing to Slytherins’, pure-blood’ boys.
The latino boy felt that something was different about Regulus and that he couldn’t leave it without knowing Regulus better. He also didn’t know how to do it, because Regulus kept the distance between them, and finding something out from the French boy was worse then brewing polyjuice.
James sat down between, Lily and Remus in front of Sirius and Peter. They have started talking about the upcoming quidditch match. Gryffindor played against Ravenclaw, and everyone were already excited for it. And James as a captain was gleaming form the amount of the excitement.
`I bet you are going to win it, James.’ Lily pocked his ribs, and James heartbeat fastened. It was the first time Lily did something towards him. And his reaction was suitable for an 11- year-old girl, who’s crush looked at her, not for the 15-year-old casanova, who could have any girl he wanted. And he did everything to hide the fact that he blushed, but Sirius who noticed it, could give him a win.
`Oui, prongs, are you hot? You are red.’ Sirius laughed.
`Shut up, pads. Maybe you will tell us about the secreted girl you are shagging?’
`OH, fuck you.’ They all laughed and James begin the conversation with Lily about the potions’ essay. However he could’t ignore the fact that someone was staring at him. From across the room, Regulus Black was drilling the hole in latino boy. James formed an eye contact with him but, it didn’t last long as Severus Snape interrupted it; he said something to the French boy and they both headed to the exit of the great hall. He saw that Regulus didn’t like Snape, and was happy about it, however because of his curious nature he wanted to know what the boy wanted from Regulus.
Regulus tensed up, since he knew what the boy wanted. Severus Snape have been blackmailing Regulus for 4 years. He used him for everything, making his homework, and other stuff that he wanted him to do; That’s because Barty wasn’t the only boy Regulus’ shagged, and the only person who found out about it, was unfortunately Severus Snape. In fact, the young Black couldn’t care less, but the second boy wasn’t ready for the coming out, and the only way to stop him from telling everyone was agreeing for everything he wanted. Regulus of course didn’t tell anyone, as he knew that Barty and Evan would end Snape in a minute. After this holidays everything changed because, as a son of two death- eaters he knew who was working for the Dark Lord. And he could easily use it against them. Snape just thought that he was protected and mysterious, but he wasn’t as smart and sneaky as Regulus.
`What do you want Snape.’ Hissed the young Black looking at Snape contemptuously.
`I have the essay for potions. I want you to write it for me.’
`Wha—.’ He wrinkled his eyebrows. `Snape you are good at potions, why the hell you want me to write it for you?’
Snape clinched his jawline. `You are better than me. And you know that, Black.’
`Aren’t you worried? I mean, people could eventually find out that you are as imbecilic as you look like, and—.’ Regulus snorted.
`Watch your words Black. Because—.’
`Because what? Snape everyone knows that I am bisexual, and everyone knows that you are a liar. I don’t think that anyone would believe you. Plus, don’t make me ruin you. My one word, and this redhead muggle-born girl won’t talk to you ever again.’
`Excuse me?’ Snape tensed up, and looked around, in search for someone who could hear them.
`Oh, you know what I mean, Snape. Your holidays were intense, right? The Dark Lord wouldn’t be happy about, your friendship with her. And I don’t think, she would be happy about your holiday job. I am pure-blood. I don’t need to prove myself to the Dark Lord, I don’t need to have his mark, but you—.’ Regulus decreased the distance between them and smiled evilly. ` My one word. And you are dead. Snape. Don’t make me do this.’ He turned around and went away from Snape.
Regulus wanted to go back to great hall but he saw James Potter talking to Lily Evans, and he changed his destination. He was jealous about her, and he knew that; both of them looked perfect together and it grew irritation in his body. The feeling to Gryffindor boy grew and grew after every lessons with him. However he couldn’t show it in any way. To be honest he wished that James Potter looked at him the way he looked at Lily, but he was a boy and James was the most straight person he have ever met, no matter how it sounds. He knew that he didn’t have any chance with him, and this thought ruined his already bad mood.
`Go to hell, James Potter and take Snape with you.’ Whispered and headed to the transmutation class.
*
It was evening the same day, the night before quidditch match, Regulus was still in the bad mood, and the fact that he needed to sit with energetic latino boy didn’t make it easier for him. He couldn’t stand anyone, and his friends understood him, as they knew that Regulus’ mental health wasn’t in the best shape. After his brother run away, it was getting worse and he couldn’t help it. In Hogwarts no one expected him to feel good, but James didn’t have too much contact with depressed people. And sometimes he couldn’t control his energetic behaviour, especially the night before quidditch match. He couldn’t focus on what Regulus was saying to him and it grew frustration in Regulus’ body.
`Oh for Marlin’s sake, are you listening to me?’
`No sorry, could you repeat.’ It worked for Regulus like a match. Anger took over his body and he couldn’t control it.
`Fuck this. I am literally waisting my time for you and you can’t focus on what am I saying? For a one fuckin hour. Is it actually too hard for you? That is pathetic, you are pathetic. If you are not going to take anything from this lesson then, maybe we should end this lesson. No actually I am not going to waste my Friday night on you.’ And the things got really quickly. He packed his things and stormed out of the classroom. In his state, he didn’t notice that he left his book on the table. And for James it was like a sign send from heaven. He will read this, for him and then give it back while apologising. James felt guilt, as he didn’t want to annoy a younger boy; but he couldn’t control the energy in his body. And with the same energy he rushed towards the common room.
`Have you finished earlier?’ Asked Sirius as James entered the common room.
`Well, I kind of annoyed your brother, and um—. He kinda snapped and left the room.’
`He lost control? He have never lost control over his emotions.’ Sirius mentioned, and his facial expressions changed. He was surprised, that his younger brother has lost control; Sirius was the one who always lost control. He was worried that something bad is happening his younger brother. He was sure that Regulus was one of them, wasn’t a good person and he was standing by this idea, but it was still his brother that he worried about. James shifted uncomfortable, as he didn’t know what to do. Regulus was always a mystery for him and now he became even bigger mystery for him.
`Where is Peter?’ Asked James, noticing the absence of their friend.
`He is with some mysterious girl.’ Remus answered, turning his attention away form book. `He didn’t want to say with who.’
`Oh, well then good for him. But he didn’t say anything about her? Like totally nothing? Name, house, Year? Not even hair colour?’
It wasn’t really weird that he didn’t say anything, Peter was always the most reserved, and kept everything in secret; It wasn’t disadvantage for James and Sirius as they liked challenges and finding about something from Peter needed a great plan.
`Nothing.’ Remus confirmed.
`Well then we need to find out about her.’ Winked at Sirius and smiled. `Now we have someone to stalk. But firstly I am going to ask him, about the mysterious girl. Any way I need to go. I have a book to read.’ James showed the book and run towards his dormitory. He was planning to read the whole book before tomorrow and give it back to the young Slytherin.
Meanwhile Regulus, sat in the common room, tired and furious. The feeling he felt towards James overwhelmed him. He wanted to kill the Gryffindor boy but also make out with him till they both run out of the oxygen.
`Whoa, what is going on Reggie?’ Asked Evan with worry in his voice. He was drawing and Regulus storming into the room interrupted him.
`I hate bloody Potter.’
`What did he do?’
`Well the problem is that he didn’t need to do anything. He is just existing and ugh—.’ He let a loud groan that amused Barty.
`You like him. And you don’t like this feeling, right?’ Evan laughed and Regulus thrown a pillow into his direction. `Regulus it is not bad that—.’
`Fuck you, Rosier. I DO NOT LIKE JAMES POTTER.’ His misery was stopped by Barty rushing towards the mini bar where they have hidden alcohol. The boy took out the fire whiskey and wave it next to the Regulus’ face.
`Barty, you don’t—.’ Evan protested but Barty stopped him.
`Oh come on, we need a bit of relaxation. He is in love with the most irritating guy in the whole school, in addition it is his brother’s best friend. I think that it is a good reason to drink. And you got the best grade in the transmutation essay. I think we should celebrate it. Plus it is Friday night.’
Barty didn’t need occasion to drink. His family problems made him run into additions since he finished ten years old. He had problems with marihuana and alcohol, but it silenced when he was around Regulus and Evan.
Evan tried to stop them, but Barty’s influence was stronger then his will.
They drunk one bottle when decided to put music on, in their dormitory. `What is happening?’ Pandora asked as they walked in. Her and Dorcas’ faces were funny to Regulus. Suddenly everything got funny to him, even the fact that he would like to be there with James Potter.
`James Potter happened.’ Barty shouted and grabbed Pandora to the dance.
`What James has to do with you, getting drunk?’ Dorcas asked and then opened the second bottle of fire whiskey. Evan looked at her with surprise. The crush Regulus had on James was so big that everyone who knew Regulus slightly, saw it. `What? I am always down for the drink.’
`I am not talking about drinks, you don’t know what James has to do with it?’ Dorcas did the movement with her head signalising that she doesn’t know what they are talking about.
`Well, Regulus wishes that James Potter shags him.’ Barty laughed with Regulus. The irony of life was the fact that Barty was right. Regulus wished it happened but there was a couple of reasons why it would never happen.
`But I am not the red head muggle born girl.’ Shrugged Regulus and sat on the floor resting on the back of his bed. He laughed, but it was a laugh full of misery. He didn’t want to show it but the amount of alcohol in his blood, took the control.
`Well I think you have a pretty big chances with James.’ Dorcas said beforehand passing the bottle to the Pandora.
`Firstly, my brother would kill me and James, secondly he is in love with the girl and if you didn’t acknowledge it, I am a boy and thirdly have you ever seen any Slytherin hanging out with Gryffindor?’
Dorcas’s face expression changed. `Well, about that.’ The girl laughed. `I am dating Marlene McKinnon.’ Barty gasped, and crinkled his brows. Theirs drunk minds couldn’t understand what the girl meant by `Dating Marlene McKinnon.’ `And maybe James wants your cock but he doesn’t know about it yet.’ This made Regulus spill the liquid he had in his mouth.
`Dorcas what the fuck.’ Regulus crinkled his eyebrows, he noted that he need to talk to her about it, when the alcohol will leave his body. `And why didn’t you tell us about Marlene?’ Dorcas rolled her eyes.
`She is amazing.’ Dorcas dreamed away. `And we wanted to keep it a secret, but I know you wouldn’t tell anyone, plus you probably won’t remember much from this night.’ They all laughed. It was true, and even if they remembered about it, they would keep it a secret as it was Dorcas’ request; Slytherins were the best secrets keepers, when it came to their friends. The alcohol took control over their bodies, and playing the bottle seemed like a pretty good idea.
Evan laughed. `Don’t you think Doris, that we should meet her. Personally?’
`Doris? Evan what the hell.’ Regulus laughed with Dorcas.
Barty winked at Regulus. `You know what? I bet James is dreaming about you right now. You should go and see him!!’
`Well no it is not good idea.’ Regulus protested. To his surprise he wasn’t as steely as he thought he was and ten minutes later, he was in the middle of the Hogwarts with his friends, searching for the latino boy. Everyone was that drunk that they didn’t even notice the moment they arrived to the entry of the Gryffindor’ common room.
`Wait, how do you want to get there. I don’t want to talk to him. I don’t get it.’ Asked confused Regulus.
`Well, you wanted to meet Marlene, then you will, right now.’
`But how do you want to get her, here. She doesn’t know that we are here.’ Regulus asked and crinkled his eyebrows. And this whole situation got pointless for them. No one knew that they were here and for sure not Marlene. But to their luckiness the girl from the Gryffindor house wanted to sneak into her common room after, probably a date with his secret boyfriend.
`Hey, what is your name.’ Asked Barty and the girl stopped terrified, her eyes got big and she tensed up. She knew their reputation and seeing their group in the middle of the night scared the bravery out of her. The tattoos and piercings Barty and Evan had didn’t help it, they look really scary.
`E-Elenor.’ The girl stuttered out.
Dorcas took the initiative. `Good, Elenor, do you know who is Marlene McKinnon?’ The girl nodded. `You will tell her, that I am waiting for her, okay?’
`Yeah.’ Whispered the young girl.
`And say that she needs to take latino friend with her.’ Added Barty winking at her.
`But if she asks me who waits for her what should I say?’
`Oh for Marlin’s sake, tell her that it is Dorcas and her friends and thats all.’ Regulus hissed and the girl’s eyes, filled with the tears. He and Evan laughed out loud as it was funny for them that the girl is scared of Regulus. They knew they were terrifying, and they quite liked this feeling. Growing around the ancient pure-bloods families, had an impact on them; They enjoyed using their power around people who feared them, it gave them satisfaction.
Pandora quirked at them. `Don’t be an asshole, Reg. Sorry for them, but are you scared of him?’ The question Pandora asked amused the boys.
`Well, the one Slytherin’ guy said that, Regulus Black is capable of killing someone, and he said that he knows him. He is constantly treating me with you. Sorry.’ The girl said, Barty’s eyes widened as he heard it.
`What? Who said that? Regulus is like an cute poodle. Just look at him.’ Said Barty and mussed Regulus’s hair. The young Black grinned like a kid who got a lollipop.
The girl took the deep breath. `Severus Snape.’ And it boiled the young Black, his smile disappeared and he got a need to kill Snape. He pissed off the French boy and the fact that he threaten the young girl was the last straw, and Regulus decided that he will need to speak to the boy seriously. He knew that the conversation won’t be the nicest one.
`Well for sure I wouldn’t kill you, and if he will ever threaten you again, please come to me. He won’t do it again okay?’ The girl nodded and disappeared behind the portrait in search of Marlene and James. They wouldn’t wait longer than 2 minutes and the portrait opened.
`What are you doing here?’ Asked the Gryffindor girl as she saw the Dorcas and her friends.
Regulus laughed. `Doris wanted to see you!!’
`Who is Doris?’ Asked confused James.
`Dorcas of course.’ Barty answered. `Do you think that Regulus could be Doris?’ Regulus laughed and jokingly punched Barty’s arm.
The confused latino boy looked at them and looked at Marlene. `Are you all drunk?’
`Well yes, but the good question Potter, is that, why are YOU not drunk?’ Evan stated putting accent on `you’ and smiled, pointing the finger at James. The latino boy lifted the corner of his lips.
`I have a match, tomorrow, and I think that alcohol, would impact my gaming skills.’ James laughed.
`Well Reggie, loves quidditch and sometimes he is training too much, and not drinking with us. He never got on the broom hungover right? Well I did so I kind of understand why you are not drinking today Potter. ’ Barty uttered, looking at them with amusement in his eyes.
`Well if Regulus loves quidditch that much, we expect to see him there right, Jamie?’ Marlene said and James agreed. The young Black’s heartbeat increased and he did everything not to blush. He was mad at him self that alcohol has so much control over him and for his luck Barty knew it.
His friend was the biggest supporter, he would do anything to protect him. `You will see him, I promise you. Good night, my dear friends!!’ Barty said and waved at them, saving Regulus from the embarrassment he would meet after blushing around them. Not waiting for their response, they headed to Slytherin’s common room.
They were halfway through to the Slytherin’s dormitory when they’ve heard, someone calling Regulus’ name. The French boy slowly turned to the owner of the voice and saw the latino boy running into his direction. Regulus stopped, and his friends knew that they should leave him with the boy.
`Regulus. I am so sorry for earlier. I didn’t want to upset you, I like lessons with you and I can see the change in my potion’s grades. I think that, I mean.—We could meet at the library, I can focus there better. I think. ’ James suggested.
`Yeah, we can do that.’ The black haired boy agreed.
James lifted the book, so Regulus can see it.`Oh and you left your book with me. It’s here, I wanted to give it back to you tomorrow but you came here and I already finished it, and—.’
Regulus wrinkled his eyebrows, bitting his inner lip corner. `Wait, you have read this whole book in one night? Why?’
`Because I—. Well I wanted to see what you are reading and have a topic to talk to you about.’ He scratched his hairs, shyly.
`Well. That is nice of you. Potter.’ Regulus didn’t know what is happening and he didn’t like it. He was drunk and couldn’t react normally as he would when he was sober. He wished Barty was here, saving him, like a prince on white horse.
James cleared his throat. `Um—. Yeah I wish you good night. Baby Black.’
`Well, Good night Potter. Good luck tomorrow.’
`Will you root for Gryffindor’s team? ’
`Nah.’ Regulus smiled. ` But I know you will probably win this.’ James smiled and Regulus shyly laughed.
`If you think that, then I will win.’
`For me?’ Asked Regulus confused and James nodded. `Well that is nice of you.’ The silence arose between them. `I should get going. They are waiting for me.’
And then disappeared, for James it was embarrassing, he couldn’t stand the fact that he wanted to talk to younger boy more. He was embarrassed by the fact that, he wanted to go after the young boy and by the fact that Regulus looked a bit too pretty. He knew that Sirius would kill him, if he found out that his brother became attractive for him. He didn’t even recall when this thought formed in his mind. The boy knew that he didn’t have much time to figure out, how to get closer to Regulus; The time was running away, and there was no possible options to make the younger boy, be more open. He didn’t know, why, but Regulus’ appearance wasn’t indifferent for him. The French boy’s look after alcohol, released something new in James, and he knew that it shouldn’t take place.
Whereas Regulus wished he could stay with the older boy, he knew that James’ was confused by his behaviour, but to his surprise he wasn’t embarrassed by the fact that James saw him in this state and for sure he wasn’t embarrassed by the fact that in his mind the boy’s lips were a bit too kissable. He knew that he was blushing, and that his eyes were foggy, but he couldn’t care less about it. If he could he would stay with the Gryffindor boy, but the common sense he had, knew that spending much time with James, when he was drunk would cause Regulus to attack, the other boy’s lips and it shouldn’t happen. The effects would be terrible.
`Well, what did he said?’ Barty approached him.
The feelings overwhelmed Regulus. He didn’t like showing emotions but it was also the side effect of getting drunk; He couldn’t control it. `He gave back my book, and he apologised to me. And he read it, for me.’ He cried. `Why it can’t be simple.’ His friends hugged him and they all sat with him on his bed. He knew that he must forget about Potter, but the boy was too nice to be forgotten. Dorcas brung some sweets from her room and they all talked about life. Regulus wished James Potter was their only problem. There was also one issue that the young students faced. The war. The pure-bloods teenagers, where scared as half of their parents were on the bad side of the war. Regulus knew that taking the mark would happen sooner or later. And everyone knew it. There was no possibility to run away from it and it was the worst part of it. Even other people were sure that they would end up being death-eaters, they couldn’t run away, like Sirius did, and Regulus wished he could. He wished he could just run away from it, from his family, from James Potter. No matter what would happen, he and James weren’t destined to be together. In every universe, it wasn’t possible for them to have happy end, especially this one, even when Regulus hoped that it somehow changes. With this worries Regulus fall asleep.
The morning was rough for him. He wished he didn’t remember anything from the last night. The hum in his head woke him up, and he was regretting drinking already. He hated being hungover, but gladly he woke up first. He looked at his friends’s beds and the view made him happier than ever. Evan and Barty were hugging each other and Barty had a massive hickey on his neck. It was a big mile stone in their relationship.
He quickly rushed towards the bathroom door, before his roommates woke up, as he should be the first one to get ready before match. He loved quidditch and missing the first match of the year would be a sin for him. Especially when he promised to James Potter that he will be there. He was also glad that he was master in the potions and his friends thanked for it too, as Regulus had supply of the potion for hungover. When Regulus got ready he left the bathroom and sadly his friends weren’t asleep. Barty’s face was covered with pain and Evan tried to cover the tears in his eyes.
Barty blinked and hawked. `No worries, I will cover it. No one will find out that you touched me.’ He quickly rushed towards bathroom and as the doors closed Evan let the tears out.
Regulus’ face showed pure compassion. `Evan—.’
`No Regulus, I can’t be with him. I am not like that.’ Evan cried. `I didn’t mean it that way. I—Reg, I am so sorry.’ Regulus knew that he didn’t mean it, and he knew what the boy felt. At the beginning he also denied the fact that he might like boys. In their families it was a sin that could even lead to the disinheritance. They were raised in the schemas when boy can’t like boy and girl can’t like girl, it was as ghastly as marrying the muggle-blood. They treated homosexuals worse than they have treated muggles or squibs. And it was hard for them to let another perspective into their lives.
`I know you didn’t mean it that way.’ The French boy hugged him. `Remember, you have me. We are in it together. If you go down, we go down together, Evan. You are like a brother to me. ’
Evan smiled and hugged his best friend back. `You know. Maybe we couldn’t choose the families we were born into. But I am happy that I could choose, you for my brother.’ Regulus’ winked at him. They were lucky that they had each other. Becoming from pure blood families wasn’t easy, but having support and someone they could yap about it was a blessing for them. Suddenly the blonde boy’ facial expression changed. `But go. Potter is waiting for you.’
Regulus grabbed Evan’s arm. `Are you sure? I can skip the match, it is not a problem for me.’
`No. If you won’t go there, I’ll be mad at myself that I am the reason why, you didn’t end up, hooking up with him.’ Regulus smiled, and shook his head.
`You are impossible.’ He stood up and showed the thumb in the air at which Evan smiled. The boy slowly headed towards the stadium. He was excited, not because James, wanted to see him there, but because it was the second thing that actually relaxed him. The boy didn’t know where to sit, as he couldn’t see Pandora and Dorcas. He decided to sat closely to the Gryffindor’ side.
`Are these seats free?’ He have heard the voice behind his back, and when he turned to the owners, he saw two people, who he would never expect to see next to him. Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew.
`Yeah.’ Regulus answered and tried to moved himself, but the boys got another plan and before Regulus could react, he was setting between Remus and Peter.
Peter was eating the salted-caramel popcorn. `Want some?’
`No. Thanks.’ To Regulus this situation was more then uncomfortable. He have never talked to Sirius’ friends, and in fact he tried to avoid them as much as it was possible. He didn’t want to get into Sirius’ life and talking to his friends would eventually make it happen. He didn’t have any problems to the boys even if it seemed like he had; He just tried his best not to get closer to his brother, and in addition to James Potter.
The match started and all students watched it with a big excitation, the screams were everywhere, and even Regulus liked it; He was so used to it that he didn’t even complained about it. To their expectations the weather wasn’t great for the first game and did everything to interrupt the match. Regretfully Regulus’ didn’t predict the horrible weather and his clothes weren’t the best choice for it.
`Oh, hell, they are playing like a fuckin’ wimps. This game is so fucking boring.’ Remus commented and the French boy smiled weakly as he agreed. This match in fact was boring and the rain didn’t help it. `What do you think about it, Regulus?’
The Black crinkled his eyebrows. He also saw Remus as someone who did everything except sports, and his large interest in the game was a big surprise for him. `Well, you are right. I didn’t know you like quidditch. Lupin.’
Remus shrugged. `I don’t, but James loves it, so if it is important for him, I can do a little favour and care about it at least once a month.’ Regulus didn’t answered as he saw the golden snitch and the latino boy behind it. James looked so amazing and attractive, that Regulus couldn’t help it but, started blushing. The pictures of James filled his mind, and he couldn’t stop it.
`Hey, do you want a scarf?’ Peter snapped him out of his mind.
`What?’ Regulus has never been more confused then right know.
`Your cheeks are red, are you cold?’ Peter explained. `I have James’ scarf, if you want it.’
`No, thanks.’ And no matter how Regulus tried to focus on the match, James’ figure on the broom took all parts of his brain. He remembered the time when, Barty pushed him into the changing room, and James was the only one without the shirt on. His heartbeat fastened and the dryness in his throat started to interrupt.
Remus snapped his fingers in front of Slytherin’s boy face. `Regulus are you okay?’
`What?’
`You are hawking, maybe you want to drink something? Peter has a water.’
The nice and caring attitude of to boys made Regulus lose track even more. He has never talked to them and they were so friendly to him. The fact that they focused on every detail of Regulus’ behaviour wasn’t helping the young boy and he noted that he needs to be more careful. `No, I am fine, I think I am just going to be sick.’ He smiled weakly. The Gryffindor was winning, but Regulus didn’t know about it, he was so preoccupied by James’ figure that he didn’t even know what was the score. He thought about the Gryffindor boy and couldn’t stand the fact that he is so pretty. The beauty of James Potter made him speechless and mindless.
`He is so pretty, right Regulus?’ This sentence scared the shit out of him. He thought that maybe one of Sirius’ friends could do legilimency and they found out about his affection to James Potter.
`Excuse me? What did you say?’ Regulus whispered terrified, his eyes got bigger and he started to sweat.
`I said that the move was pretty, the quidditch move, the Ravenclaw’s chaser did. He scored the points and it was really cleaver move.’ Peter explained looking at Regulus like the French boy lost his mind.
`Yeah. You are right.’ Regulus didn’t know what was happening to him. He was scared that he has hallucinations, he have heard other things, then people were saying. His trance was stopped by the screams of people around him.
The commentator yelled, causing the different reactions around the tribunes. `JAMES POTTER COUGHT THE GOLDEN SNITCH. GRYFFINDOR WINS.’
Remus screamed and Peter accidentally throw the popcorn out of its box, everything ended up on Regulus.
`So sorry, Regulus.’ But Regulus was so confused and distracted, that he wasn’t even mad at him. He was so absent that even his vision was cloudy, he didn’t answered to Peter’s apology, just nodded his head. James was triumphing, and his teammates hugged him as they landed on the ground.
`It was pleasure to sit next to you, Regulus. I am hoping to see you at the Hufflepuff party, today. Bye.’ Said Remus and he and Peter went after the crowd. And before Regulus could react he saw that Lupin and Pettigrew left James’ scarf. `Lupin, you left a scarf.’ But they disappeared already and the French boy needed to take the scarf and give it back to the latino boy himself.
Stunned Regulus headed to the dormitory. He was preoccupied by his thoughts and was mad at himself for not being able to focus around James Potter. He was praying to Marlin that Remus won’t connect his behaviour with affection to James. Lupin wasn’t stupid and Regulus acknowledged it, the only thing that could help him was praying and hoping that Marlin listens to him.
`Whoa, were you shagging with him on the floor or something?’ Asked Barty as Regulus entered their dormitory.
`What are you taking about?’ And Barty took the piece of popcorn from his black hairs and ate it. `Salted- caramel.’
Regulus swallowed the saliva. `No, I didn’t eat it. It was Pettigriew’s. Him and Lupin sat next to me and he throw it at me when Potter caught the snitch.’
Barty snorted and pointed at something, that Regulus held. `What about scarf?’
`It is Potter’, Lupin left it next to me.’
Barty laughed. `I don’t believe it, Regulus. It sounds ridiculously.’
`And your version about me shagging James Potter on the floor is less ridiculous?’ Regulus rolled his eyes.
`Well, both of your versions sounds ridiculous, to be honest.’ Exclaimed Evan, and Barty just rolled his eyes. There was tension between them, and Regulus knew that it was matter of time, when something between them will happen.
Barty shrugged. `Anyway, you need to get ready, we are going to the party.’
`What party? And aren’t you done with alcohol, after yesterday?’
`I am never done with alcohol.’ Barty said and opened Regulus’ part of the wardrobe. `It is Huffelpuff’s party, they are doing it so all the houses can go and celebrate the today’s quidditch match. And you, my dear friend, are going with me. Evan too, I am not going to accept the rejection.’ Regulus was happy that, Barty understood that Evan needed the time to accept himself. That he didn’t push him, but also felt sorry for him, because he knew how it hurt him seeing Evan with girls.`You will give back, the scarf, today at the party. And that’s because, you will look hot as hell in this black shirt.’ Regulus and Evan knew that they didn’t have any other options then going to this party.
The young Black wasn’t really big keen of Barty’s plan, but he knew that he had no voice in this. They were getting ready and Regulus let Barty put the eyeliner on his eye-waterline. He liked the way he looked in this shirt as he wasn’t really muscular but the shirt laid on him perfectly. He had a slim figure, thanks to quidditch. Barty unbuttoned a few buttons so his collarbones were shown, and with this they headed to the party, beforehand taking Dorcas and Pandora with them.
As they entered the smell of alcohol cut Regulus’ nostrils and he started to search for James Potter. Evan left them and Dorcas went to Marlene to celebrate her victory. Pandora also disappeared and the Black was left with Barty.
`There it is, your lover boy. Go and give it back to him.’ Barty pushed him into the direction of the Gryffindor boy.
And before Regulus could think about the situation. `Hey!’ He shouted behind James’ and Sirius’ backs.
`Regulus, what are you doing here? What do you want?’ Sirius asked, which made Regulus nervous.
`Lupin left Potter’s scarf, next to me and I wanted to give it back.’ He showed the scarf and joyful James took it from him.
`Thank you so much Regulus.’ He smiled, and wanted to move away from them but Sirius’ hand stopped him.
`How are you?’ Sirius asked with pain in his eyes.
`I am okay, and you?’ Sirius nodded in agreement. `You played well today, congrats.’
`Did we just get the compliment from Regulus Black?’ James laughed and Regulus rolled his eyes.
`Yeah well—.’ He started but some blonde Rawenclaw’ girl grabbed James’ head and kissed his cheeks, foxing Regulus.
`You were so great today James.’ She said and winked at James. The boy just smiled shyly and thanked.
`I can see you have fans, Potter.’ Regulus said jokingly, but he wasn’t in the mood to joking. James and Sirius laughed at it, and Regulus did everything not to let them see that he is jealous of this girl. `I am going, Barty is waiting for me.’ And the boy went, not waiting for their answer. He was mad that James was so opened for people kissing him, even if he knew that he had no rights to be mad at him.
Regulus tried to squeeze between the dancing students; The loud music and people’s screams hurt his ears, he started to feel overwhelmed and it bothered him.
`Regulus wait.’ Sirius again stopped him, squeezing through the crowd. `Are you sure, you are okay?’
Slytherin boy clenched his jawline.`Yeah, why wouldn’t I be okay?’
`You got skinnier. You are skinnier then you were during holidays. If something is happening, please tell me.’ Regulus knew that, his brother was worried but he was also mad at him for running away, for leaving him.
`You run away, and left me with her. You have no rights to be worried now. Sirius.’ The boy hissed and before turning away from him, he stated. `But I hope, you are better, with them.’ He didn’t let Sirius answer as he run from him. He found drunk Barty and saw that his friend was on a verge of crying.
Barty pointed the finger at Evan, that had a girl on his laps and was making out with her. `I hope your lover, is better.’ But Regulus didn’t answered just made Barty to look at James, that was kissing the other girl.
`We are both unlucky, my friend.’ Regulus exclaimed and took the big sip of some alcohol. After a couple of minutes the bottle was empty and alcohol took the control. The young Black didn’t think much but pushed his lips against Barty’s and they begin to kiss. He enjoyed making out with him, it was pleasure and it didn’t have any bad consequences. Barty’s hands wandered under the others boy shirt and Regulus made a way to sit at his friends’ laps.
They knew, how this evening will end up and leaving before they lose control was the best idea. `We need to get out of here.’ Barty hissed and Regulus agreed. As he took brown-haired boy’ hand and headed to the exit of the room, his eyes crossed with James. Barty saw that and pulled him into the kiss. `Make him jealous, Reggie.’
As they entered the dormitory, the Black sucked the others boy neck, making a big hickey. They quickly get rid of their clothes. Crouch also wasn’t in arrears and also made a big hickey on the Black’s neck.
Barty stopped the kiss. `You can’t cover it, he must see it.’
`Same with you.’ Regulus breathed and they began to kiss again until someone entered their room.
`I am sorry for interrupting, but I didn’t want to be alone at this party.’ Pandora explained. The boys quickly got away from themselves, and swiftly started putting their clothes on. Pandora knew about their relationship more then anyone, because she was the only one to know why it al started. `And I hope you won’t mind the fact that I brought my new friend with me.’ The boys looked at her waiting for the new friend to show up, and in their wildest dreams, they wouldn’t guess that it will be Lily Evans.
She smiled weakly at them. `Hi. I am sorry for interrupting but I don’t like parties and Pandora offered me to go there.’ Lily said. `I am Lily Evans.’
`Well we know who are you, and you know who we are, so leave this formalities behind and come on in.’ Barty said, and Lily’s face showed surprise. In the boy’s mind formed an evil plan. `What? Do I have something on my face?’
`No, I just didn’t think you—.’
`That we could be nice?’ Regulus stopped her angry and Lily nodded in agreement. He didn’t like the girl and he wasn’t going to hide it.
`Sorry, I judged you and I shouldn’t.’
`Well you are not the first one, come in.’ Barty said and Regulus send him the death stare secretly.
Regulus twisted his face and tightened his lips. `Well, excuse us, me and Barty will go for something to eat.’ And he grabbed him by his shirt and pulled him out of the room, slamming the doors loudly.
The Black vividly gesticulated with his hands. `Have you lost your mind, Crouch? Why are you nice to her?’
`Oh chill, I have a plan.’ And his plan was to get Regulus closer to Lily Evans, so he would eventually get closer to James.
`Good, thanks for getting me involved in your stupid plan.’ Regulus rolled his eyes.
Lily opened the doors to their dormitory and smiled shyly.`I actually will go to my room. I don’t want to interrupt you. I know I don’t belong to you.’
And before Regulus could react to it, Barty got an amazing idea that he shared out loud. `Oh honey don’t say that, but if you want to that is okay. Regulus will accompany you to your dormitory.’
`What the—.’ Barty secretly punched Regulus and send him the hard sight. `Okay. I will. Come on, ladies first.’ Lily walked and Regulus quickly showed that he will kill Barty. In another circumstances he wouldn’t agree to it but he was drunk and nothing mattered to him at this moment.
They were going to the common room in silence, as both of them didn’t know what they could possibly say.
`Well, you are actually like James said you are.’ Lily started.
`Potter was talking something about me?’ Regulus lifted his right eyebrow.
`Yeah well, he and Sirius talks about you pretty much, and I am listening to it, because who wouldn’t, right? And of course they didn’t say it but I know what Sirius went through. And I want you to know that if you want help or something, you can always talk to me.’
Regulus narrowed his eyes and the blood boiled in him. He was mad that this stupid girl, was so intrusive. He didn’t like when people invited his personal space and the girl was doing so. `Well, Evans not to be mean, but I don’t know you, and it’s non of your business, what I am going through and I am asking nicely that you should stop carrying about me.’
`I know that it is not my business but, I’d rather talk to you about my problems than someone I am friends with.’ Regulus felt offended by her directness, and intrusiveness that he was stopping himself from screaming at her.
`Well, it is non of your business as I said, and tell Potter not to talk shit about me because no one knows what I am going through and especially not you.’ He spat, clenching his fists.
`Okay forget about it. Sorry I didn’t mean to be intrusive. But to your information James won’t stop talking about you.’
Regulus blinked. `What? Why?’
She shrugged. `He likes you, and if I was on his place, I wouldn’t stop talking about you too.’ She looked in his eyes. `You are a good person Regulus, and I know you don’t think that, but I can see you are. Your mean behaviour is just a shell that protects you from people. I know you will hate me for this now, because I am kind of, out of reasons to tell you that, but I just felt the need to do it.’
`Well, you are so out of turn.’
The girl smiled. `I know, and I have something for you.’ She pulled the book out of her bag. `It is my favourite book, Pride and Prejudice.’
`Why are you giving it to me?’
`Well, I saw you on the match, I saw how you looked at him.’ Regulus heartbeat increased and his eyes got bigger. `Don’t worry I won’t say anything. I just want you to know that it is cute and this book reminds me of your situation. And I want you to read it.’
`Evans, it is not what you think it is.’ He tried to explain but she just smiled.
`I know you like James. Otherwise you wouldn’t help him with potions. I won’t tell anyone, it is not my business.’
`Well my life is not your business too, and somehow you are interested in it.’ Regulus argued, and Lily laughed at it.
They got to the portrait of old lady when Lily spoke again.`I won’t tell anyone, I promise. And Good Night, Regulus.’
Shocked. It is the only right word that can describe Regulus’s feelings. The girl he was jealous about, for the five years was the one who noticed the feelings to James Potter. And even if she didn’t say it out loud, she hoped for them to get together, and suddenly the French boy couldn’t be mad at her. She cared about him even if he never talked to her. Even when she knew how he treated muggles, how he acted towards other people. And suddenly he understood why James was in love with her. She had a golden heart. She was like an angel send straight from the heaven.
`I can’t be mad at him, for liking her.’ Regulus blinked and smiled weakly at Barty. `She actually has a golden heart, and he also has a golden heart. They match together.’
Barty hugged him. `No, Regulus. What happened.’
`Lily Evans, offered me support and said that I am a good person. She also said that, she knows about my crush on James.’ Regulus sighed. `I am going to kill you, for making me go with her.’
`Wait, she knows?’ Barty crinkled his eyebrows.
`That is what I just said.’ Regulus snapped.
Barty sat on the bed. `Okay, chill. It is okay. She won’t say anything.’
`I am not worried, she will tell him. I am mad at myself that I am in love with James bloody Potter.’ Regulus grabbed the book and threw it across the room. `I will stop. I actually will stop liking him.’
`Reggie, I am not going to—.’
Hum in Regulus’ head slammed Barty’s voice. `No, you don’t get it Barty, he might like me, but I am just his best friends’ brother. I am not Lily Evans with golden heart. I am fucked up person who is madly in love with guy who won’t ever look at me like that. You know why they didn’t chase after Sirius? Because I am their plan. I am my mother’ plan, she will do anything to make me the heir of the Blacks’. I am hers favourite thing. I should be happy that I am here this year. And you think that James Potter would fall in love with me? Look at me. I am disgusting. I look just like my mother. No wonder why Sirius’ hates me. I remind her, I can’t even look at myself and you think that James who could have someone like Lily would chose me?’
Barty who always loves talking was speechless, he have never heard Regulus saying that awful things about himself. `I wish you could see yourself through my eyes.’ Barty said with pain in his eyes.`And no one looks at you by the filter of your parents. James wouldn’t do it. I might don’t know him but I know that James Potter is the last person to judge you by the fact who your parent’s are. You are amazing and if Lily sees it, I bet James sees it too. I can see it. Evan sees it. Everyone sees it, so why can’t you?’
Regulus eyes filled with tears.`I don’t know.’ The tears loomed on his cheeks. `What is wrong with me?’
`Nothing is wrong with you, you were just raised by psychotic bitch, who gave you many traumas. It is not your fault. You are the best person I could possibly imagine to be friends with.’ He whispered hugging Regulus.
Regulus took a deep breath. `Barty. You know I love you?’
`Duh? Who doesn’t love me?’ Barty laughed and Regulus repeated. Barty dried his cheeks form the tears and kissed him in the head. `Everything is going to be fine.’ They both went to sleep and slept for the whole next day. The Monday went without complications. Regulus didn’t see James and the tension between Barty and Evan disappeared.
In the evening young Black headed to the astronomy tower, but to the surprise, he wasn’t in his perfectly styled uniform; he was wearing his green pyjama that consisted the basic green t-shirt and the basic chequered pants. He was heading there to watch the stars as he loved to do it, and no one interrupted him. He liked imagining that it all was dependent from the small shinning dots on the sky, that they had plan for everyone.
`Baby Black, where are you going in this outfit?’ Said the voice behind him and Regulus knew already, that this evening won’t be as calm as he wanted it to be.
The small smirk creep on his face. `Non of your business, Potter.’
James smiled and stood in front of Regulus, barring the younger boy’s path. `Well, if you won’t tell me I will go with you.’
`So if I will tell you, will you knock off and leave me alone?’ Regulus asked with hope in his voice.
`No, baby Bla—.’
Regulus took a deep breath, while bypassing James. `Call me, baby Black once again, and the only person you will see for month will be Ms. Pomfrey.’
`You are funny, when you try to threaten me, but I am here to ask you about one book.’ Regulus only nodded in act of listening.
James jumped showing his ADHD. `What do you think about `Romeo and Juliet’?’
The French boy rolled his eyes.`That is the worst romance book I have ever read, but I can guess that, for you the tragedy is cute.’
`It is, cute.’ Regulus smiled with contempt.
`It is not. Imagine dying in act of love to someone, just for them to be alive. You would die for nothing.’
`Love is not nothing.’ James argued. `I personally think that dying for someone I love is unique and worthy, and it is not nothing. At least this person would know that I loved them, so much that it gave me the bravery to kill myself or just die.’
`Well, that is the most stupid thing, as they didn’t die because they loved each other. They died because they were stupid enough, not to check if their heart beats. That is the difference, die for right reason and die just out of stupidity.’
`Regulus Black, deducing your track of thoughts, I can guess that you would rather die then tell someone you love, your feelings?’ On Regulus’ face the small grin grew as James did reference to the book he read for him.
`Of course.’ Regulus agreed and saw James looked at him unbelievingly. `You see, that is why people say life is beautiful, because everyone get to have their opinions, and I won’t ask you, about yours.’
James shook his head. `You know, your perspective for life is interesting. I guess you didn’t like `Call me by your name’, right?’
`And you are wrong here, Potter. That is my favourite book. I have read it at least hundred times.’
James laughed under his breath.` Wow. You are unbelievable.’ The Gryffindor boy shook his head. `I have an idea. I was thinking maybe we could play a game. Every day we get to choose to find out truth about ourselves or choose the dare. One day you will ask me and the second day I will ask you.’
The young boy shook his head and looked at the other boy with amusement. For him it was rather then pathetic. `Why would we play something like that, Potter?’
`I want to get to know you.’
`I think that the way we know each other now, is enough.’
`For me it is not enough.’ Regulus crinkled his eyebrows and James moved into his direction.
`What are you on, Potter?’ Breathed Regulus.
`Regulus, you are the most interesting person, I have ever met. I want to know about you more then I know now. Your perspective for life is so interesting that I can not even imagine living without knowing at least half of it.’ Regulus’ heartbeat fastened and his breath got to be shallower.
`Do I have an option to say no?’ James contradicted and Regulus just shook his head.` Then okay.’
`Well, then I start. Truth or dare, baby— Regulus?’
`Truth.’
James pointed the boys neck and asked. `Who made that massive hickey on your neck?’
`Seriously, Potter? You get to ask me about anything and you ask me who did the hickey on my neck?’ Amused Regulus asked. `Barty.’
`Well, that is good to know. Say that I am saying hi to him. And tell him that Sirius will kill him for that.’ James winked at him and hugged him. `Tomorrow is your turn. Good night. Baby Black.’
And he run away. And left Regulus speechless again, and he knew that he won’t sleep much that night, and that James Potter altered chemistry in his brain, every time they saw each other.