London Boy

“So you just agreed to draw a line under it and just never bring it up again?” Marlene asked, almost upside down in the armchair.

“Yeah.” Sirius frowned, “Why do you say it like that?”

“Like what?”

“Like it’s a bad thing?” Sirius balled up the bag his sausage roll came in and threw it at her. It missed. “It’s a weird situation. Surely it's better to just move forward?”

“And you still don’t know why you feel so weird about it?” Benjy asked from the other end of the sofa. “Really?”

“No, I mean, it’s always going to be weird to find out that you’re related to your friend’s kid, right? And that the only living family member that was ever good to you is his gran?” Sirius looked between them.

“It’s even weirder to learn that the guy you were pretty much dating fucked your cousin,” Marlene said, causing Benjy to choke on his coffee.

“Marl!” He said, wiping coffee from his nose. “Fucking hell.”

“Well?” She said, looking at Sirius.

“Firstly, not dating.” She rolled her eyes, “Second, it’s weirder to me that they were married, I think. Like, they had a whole ass wedding and a whole ass son. They bought a home together, planned to, I don’t know, holiday in Spain every summer and spend Christmas with both of their families all gathered together like one of those cheesy movies. Look, I’ve fucked my fair share of people that have made my friends feel weird.”

“Weird thing to brag about,” Benjy muttered.

“I’m saying that if it had just been sex, it wouldn’t be that weird for me.” Sirius shrugged. “But they planned to spend their lives together.”

“Ok, now we’re getting somewhere.” Marlene wiggled until she was the right way up. “So, you feel weird because you fancy Remus, and Remus loved your cousin?”

“Loves,” Sirius said quietly. “He’ll never stop loving her, and that's fine. It’s good. If it was any other person or at least someone I didn’t play princesses with as a kid, I think I’d be fine with it.”

“So, it’s the combination of everything, making it complicated.” Benjy nodded. “So, what now? You just keep going on your not-dates, keep flirting over the top of Teddy's head when you think nobody can hear you and just never do anything about it?”

“Well, that seems likely, yeah.” Sirius shrugged. “Because how do you say to someone “Oh hey, I fancy you and by the way, it’s fine that you still love my dead cousin, let's raise her child together.”

“Oh. My god. Sirius.” Benjy had sprayed coffee all over the aptly named coffee table. “For fucks sake.”

As he went to get a cloth to wipe it up, Marlene studied him. “Neither of you is going to be content with carrying on like you were forever, and you know that.”

“If he wants me as a friend, I’ll be his friend.” Sirius said seriously, “He lost the woman he loves, who I happen to know was amazing, because she grew up with me for a cousin, how could she not be? He’s still the kindest man I’ve ever met, a great dad and just…” He sighed

“Kinder than James?” Marlene asked.

“If you tell him I said that, I will end you, McKinnon.” He sighed, “Why is this so difficult?”

“Because you’re being a dumb bitch about it,” Benjy reappeared wielding a cloth. “Is it complicated? Yeah. But if neither of you ever takes the initiative to have a proper conversation about it, then that's on you, honestly.”

“Yeah, nothing like you lusting over the check-in guy at the hospital and being deep in denial about it or anything.” Sirius shot back.

“Caradoc is a friend.” Benjy frowned, wiping the coffee table and just spreading the coffee around.

“So is Remus.”

“You’re both insufferable.” Marlene stood up. “When are you next seeing him, Sirius?”

“He’s coming to the Halloween Party on Friday. I invited them ages ago, Teddy’s really excited about it apparently. Remus got him a firefighter costume.” Sirius smiled and could see Marlene looking smug out of the corner of his eye. “Shut up. It’s cute.”

“I didn’t say it wasn’t!” She protested. “I’ve never seen you gush like this over a kid that isn’t Harry before.”

“I said shut up.” Sirius muttered. “You invite Caradoc to the party?”

“He’s working.” Benjy set the cloth down. “I did ask though.”

“Well done, you did one thing!” Marlene rolled her eyes. “Honestly, the two of you make me so grateful to be a lesbian, because if this is the standard for male communication, there’s no hope for the human race.”

“Charming!” Benjy laughed, “And how long did you know Dorcas before you told her that you liked her?”

“That’s irrelevant Benjamin!”

“It was sixteen years,” Benjy said to Sirius.

“And you’ve known Caradoc for what? Three years?” Marlene headed for the door. “Just ask him out for a drink or do what Sirius does and injure yourself repeatedly so you can see him.”

“That’s not— It’s been three times. You, personally, took me there two of those times.” Sirius threw an arm across his eyes as he leaned back on the sofa. “Marlene don’t go. I need help with my Halloween costume.”

“I thought you’d never ask!” She raced to sit back down. “So Teddy’s a firefighter. What’s Remus going as?”

“I haven’t asked.” Sirius shrugged. “I didn’t know if he’d do costumes.”

“Nah, that man loves a chance to dress up,” Marlene said with a smirk. “Last Halloween he went out dressed as Freddie Mercury from the I Want To Break Free video, complete with Ted’s toy hoover. It was magical.”

“Sounds it.”

“I need you to stop picturing it now, so I can have a conversation with at least half a brain cell.” She chuckled. “Ok. I’ll find out what Remus is going as, and then we’ll go from there.”

“Go from there? It’s three days away.” Sirius looked at Benjy.

“Marlene will make it work, trust me.”

So Sirius trusted her.

🌙✨🌙✨🌙

“I”m going as… Bridgerton?” Sirius held up the Burgundy jacket and weird trousers. “Or Mr Darcy?”

“I didn’t even think of Mr Darcy. Maybe next year. I wonder if there's a way to make a shirt look wet all night.”

“Marlene!”

“You’re going as The Doctor.” She said, “Like Doctor Who.”

“I haven’t watched since early Matt Smith,” Sirius admitted. “I keep meaning to catch up, but it’s been ten years.”

“Ok, you need to watch the newest series, if nothing else. Honestly if you get chance this afternoon when you get home, watch the episode called Rogue.”

“Alright, I’ll give it a go. So if I’m the Doctor, what’s Moony? The Tardis?”

“Don’t be stupid. He’s Rogue, the Doctor’s boyfriend.” She rolled her eyes. “It’ll make sense once you’ve watched it.”

“The Doctor has a boyfriend now?” Sirius gasped dramatically, “Now this I have to see.”

After he watched the episode, he understood the Bridgerton-regency-show hype. After he saw Remus in a navy jacket, a blue waistcoat and black breeches, he understood that he definitely didn’t just want to be Remus’ friend.

🌙✨🌙✨🌙

Remus, when Marlene suggested that he should match Sirius’ costume, hadn’t been sold on the idea. When she told him that he was going as the Doctor, in full regency garb, he was sold. It took them all of ten minutes together on Halloween to know that she’d played both of them like a fiddle. He couldn’t be mad, though. Because Sirius looked like a dream.

Teddy looked incredible too. Remus had sewn a name tag and the Cardiff Fire Service Badge (courtesy of Marlene) onto his tiny uniform and he was thoroughly enjoying the party. There was a kids’ corner, where Remus also spotted Harry who waved to him before returning to colouring a picture of a zombie as he left Teddy in Benjy’s capable supervision.

“Hi, Moony!” Harry said, “You look good!”

“Thanks, Harry. So do you!” Remus grinned, “Vampire, right?”

“Dracula, to be pacific,” Harry said proudly.

“Fantastic. Very scary! Love the blood!” He looked over at where Teddy was looking through the colouring pages. “That’s Teddy, he’s my son. He’s six.”

“His costume is so cool. Padfoot talks about him a lot, you know.” Harry grinned, “I’ll keep an eye on him.”

Remus nodded, holding back a laugh. Between the sage nod that Harry gave him and the way he’d looked at him over his glasses, he was reminiscent of a tiny, vampiric old man.

“Thanks, Harry. You’re the best.” He gave him a thumbs up before going to find Marlene and Dorcas. Or, Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy.

Before he could find them, a short, blonde woman dressed as a fairy stepped in his path. “Hi,” She said, smiling. “I haven’t seen you at one of these before. Are you new?”

Remus’ brain was trying to pull him in so many directions at once that he was amazed he could even put a sentence together. “Oh, uh, no. Some of my friends work here.”

“I’m Amelia,” She was still smiling up at him, somewhat unnervingly. “My brother works here.”

“Remus,” He said, trying to scan the room for anyone he knew.

“Did you come as Anthony Bridgerton?” She asked in a low voice, “That’s so hot.”

“Oh, no. I’m not—” His eyes latched on Sirius’ finally, and Remus watched as he excused himself from talking to who he could only assume were Harry’s parents and made his way across the room as quickly as possible.

“Alright, Moons?” He asked, looking between him and Amelia. “You must be Benjy’s sister.”

“And you must be Sirius.” She turned her smile on him, then clocked their matching costumes. “Oh. Oh! Sorry.” She laughed softly, “You both look great, have a good night.” And she twirled, literally, away from them.

“What was that about?” Sirius asked, staring after her.

“No idea, one moment it was ‘so hot’ that I was dressed as Anthony Bridgerton, side note, I’d absolutely be dressed as Benedict over Anthony any day, and then I have no idea. You spooked her.”

“Well, it is Halloween!” Sirius smiled. “I really need to watch Bridgerton, apparently. You want to come and meet James and Lily?”

“Yeah!” Remus’ heart did something peculiar as Sirius grabbed his hand to lead him through the crowded room, but he was smiling so much that his cheeks hurt.

“Prongs, Lils, this is the man who looked after Harry in the hospital.” Sirius grinned at him, immediately regretting dropping his hand when they reached Lily and James.

“Remus! Lovely to meet you!” Lily hugged him, “Harry said you were so nice to him, and you clearly managed to stop Sirius from beating himself up about it, so thank you.”

Remus wanted to ask Sirius how they knew his name when Sirius clearly hadn’t used it to introduce him but settled for shooting a smirk in his direction before also being pulled in for a hug by James, who was essentially an adult Harry. It was uncanny. Except his eyes. Harry had Lily’s bright green eyes.

“No worries, he's a good kid. I’ve heard so much about you both.” He smiled, “I’m hoping you’ll have as many embarrassing stories as Andy does.”

“Oh, that’s my speciality!” James cracked his knuckles. “We call him Padfoot because he cut his foot open on a rock and decided the best course of action was to stick one of Lily's pads to his foot, but he couldn’t figure it out because if he used the absorbent side, the pad stuck to the floor, and if he used the sticky side to stick it to his foot, it was pretty useless.”

“I feel like I don’t want to ask how old you were when—”

“He was nineteen!” Lily cut in gleefully.

“I’m thoroughly grateful that you learned proper wound care before you patched up my son.” Remus smiled at him. “Nineteen, though? Really?”

“I was drunk.” Sirius scowled at his friends. “And I already regret introducing you.”

🌙✨🌙✨🌙

Teddy, Harry, Amelia and Benjy were playing Mario Kart. James, Lily, Marlene and Dorcas were deep in conversation as they went to get another drink.

“You ever smoke, Moons?” Sirius asked.

“Smoke what?” Remus said, with a twitch of his eyebrow.

“I really should have known.” Sirius groaned, “The cardigans, the septum piercing, the…” he gestured at Remus, “Of course you were a stoner.”

“A stoner?” Remus laughed.

“Oh fuck, is there a new word for it now? I’m dreading Harry becoming a teenager because he’s going to realise just how uncool I actually am.”

“Yeah, I’m sure he’s going to think that his firefighter, leather-jacket-wearing, daredevil of an uncle is uncool.” Remus mused, “Maybe you’ll be ok if you just keep your mouth shut.” He avoided Sirius’ elbow as he grabbed an alcohol-free beer from the fridge and handed him a normal one. “But to answer your question, cigarettes, I suppose I smoked socially for a couple of years in my late teens.”

“Do you ever miss the excuse to go and spend five minutes outside to decompress? I feel like I don’t miss smoking at all, but sometimes I just want to go and sit outside and feel like I have a reason to be there.” Sirius opened their beers and clinked them together.

“Iechyd da!” Remus said, with the smug smile Sirius loved seeing whenever he spoke to him in Welsh. “You know we can go and sit outside if you want? There’s no rule that says you have to fuck up your lungs to enjoy the… chilly October ambiance.”

“Yeah but if I go and sit outside alone, people always look at me funny.”

“Then it’s a good job you won’t be alone, right? Lead the way!” Sirius grabbed his hand for the second time that night and led him through the dwindling partygoers. Honestly, it was definitely unnecessary now, but he’d felt so alive when he’d dragged Remus over to James and Lily and was tipsy enough to be selfish.

The air was certainly chilly. Their breath rose in clouds as Sirius led them to a bench at the side of the firehouse.

“Sirius.” Remus looked at him, his face was unusually sincere. “I have to ask. Why are you so obsessed with my septum piercing?” He cracked up as he saw Sirius look absolutely flummoxed.

“You’re a twat sometimes.” Sirius shook his head. “Let me enjoy the image of you with a cute little ring through your nose in peace, please.”

“Anything you say, Seren Bach.” Remus smiled at him.

“I figured out why I was so bothered by… you know.” He didn’t want to bring up Tonks while they were having such a nice time, but apparently, that’s exactly what he was doing. “So, it turns out that I… I have feelings for you that aren’t entirely platonic, and learning that you had a whole life planned with my cousin was weird for me, I guess.” He didn’t dare look up from his lap, “And it’s totally fine if you don’t feel the same way, I swear. I love being your friend and spending time with you and Teddy and I’d really hate for anything to jeopardise that. I just wanted to let you know that none of the weirdness was your fault and I’m sorry for making a bizarre situation even more difficult.”

Remus took Sirius’ hand in his. “It’s not that I don’t think you’re incredible, Sirius. You’re clever, hilarious, unbelievably kind and you’re very fun to look at.” He paused, hating the way Sirius’ easy smile had disappeared, “Earlier this year I tried dating for the first time since... I went on a few awful first dates and then I think one guy, I went on three dates with before I called it off. I felt… not like me, I don’t know. Like I was only doing it because people around me were fervently encouraging me to. Mostly Andy, my mam and Dorcas to be fair. I wasn’t ready, and I still don’t think I am.” He took a deep breath, “Also I’m not saying this with any intention other than to try and explain, but when you ghosted me, Teddy was genuinely so upset. I don’t want him to go through losing someone he cares for again while he’s so little.”

Sirius nodded, squeezing Remus’ hand, “I get it. I understand.”

“I’m so sorry.” Remus said quietly, “I wish things weren’t so complicated. Right person, wrong timing.”

“You have nothing to apologise for. Except for describing me as merely ‘fun to look at’, doing me a disservice frankly.” Remus leaned his head on Sirius’ shoulder and chuckled. “We can still spend time together, yeah? As friends?”

“You’re not getting rid of us that easily. Of course, we can still spend time together. We have tickets to Star Wars at the Everyman next week.” Remus sighed, “You’re shivering, cariad.”

“It’s fucking cold!” Sirius laughed, “Shall we?” Remus nodded and they headed back into the fire station.

There were even fewer people still at the party and Remus knew he should really be getting Teddy home soon as it was well past his bedtime. Sirius let go of his hand just before they walked through the door and Remus was immediately filled with regret.

They found Harry and Teddy right where they’d left them with Benjy.

“How many races left?” Remus asked, perching on the arm of the sofa as Sirius squeezed his shoulder, then went to find James and Lily.

“Just the one,” Benjy replied. “You alright?”

“Yeah, just tired,” Remus said. “I don’t know if I’m coming or going lately with the shifts they’re giving me.”

“I feel that. It’s good you’ve got family who can help you out though.” Remus raised an eyebrow, “Oh, Sirius may have mentioned Teddy’s grandparents, once or twice. He's not met your parents yet?”

“No, my mam would be insufferable if she met Sirius. I’m holding off on that for as long as I can.” Remus laughed. “Small world though, right?”

“Crazy small. We thought he was having us on, honestly.” Benjy suddenly realised that he should have been racing for the last thirty seconds and yelped, “Hey! You could have told me!”

“We don’t want you to win!” Harry shrugged, and Teddy mirrored him. They seemed to be getting along well. It was sweet of Harry to take him under his wing.

“Teddy, we’re going to head home after this race, ok?”

Teddy frowned, “I don’t want to.”

“It’s so far past your bedtime Ted. I’m sure you can come back and play soon.”

“Not with Harry though.” Teddy’s brow furrowed as he moved into first place.

“I’m sure we can sort something out, cyw. We are going home though.”

For a moment, he thought Teddy might have one of those catastrophic tantrums that he’d seen other kids have. But Teddy merely waited until he’d won before turning to Harry. “Would you like to come over and play one day?”

Harry grinned, somehow the blood from around his mouth was now all over his teeth, “Yeah, that’d be good!”

“Alright, I’ll figure something out with your parents, Harry, I promise. It’s good to see your wrist back in working order too.” He hoisted Teddy up from the sofa onto his hip. He wouldn’t be able to do this for much longer, and he hated that thought.

“See ya, Moony,” Harry said as Benjy tactfully turned off the TV. “Bye, Teddy.”

“Bye!” Teddy said into Remus’ shoulder. Remus knew that he’d be asleep the second he was in the car.

He walked over to his friends, knowing that Sirius had probably told them about their conversation, which he didn’t mind. It was nice that they both had people in their corner. Some people in both of their corners or would that put them in the middle of the ring? Remus hoped not.

“We’re going to head home before Teddy hurts Benjy’s pride any more.” He smiled at James and Lily, “Teddy would love for Harry to come over and play soon.”

“I’ll get your number from Sirius and we’ll set something up,” Lily said, and if he hadn’t been carrying a sleepy six-year-old, he suspected she would have hugged him again. “It was so lovely to meet you both.” James nodded in agreement.

“It was lovely to meet both of you too,” Remus said. He turned to Marlene and Dorcas, “I don’t know how your make-up is still on Cas, but I’m so impressed. See you on Monday. See you, Marls.”

“I’ll walk you to your car,” Sirius said quietly. Remus nodded as Teddy waved goodbye to Marlene and Dorcas with his face buried in Remus’ neck.

It somehow felt even colder than when they’d been outside not even fifteen minutes earlier.

“You’re not leaving because I made you uncomfortable, are you?” Sirius said when they reached Remus’ car. He opened the door so Remus could strap Teddy into his booster seat easily and not for the first time, Remus imagined what it would be like to do these domestic things with Sirius all the time.

“No. It’s genuinely because Teddy needs to go to bed, I promise. I’m not uncomfortable, Sirius.”

Sirius looked relieved, “Ok, good. I just wanted to check.”

Remus smiled at him, then pulled him in for a hug, realising at the same time that they’d never actually done this before. They stayed like that, with Sirius’ cold nose poking the crook of his neck, and his palms pressed against Sirius’ back, for longer than was probably advisable. Teddy had fallen asleep as soon as Remus had put him down, and away from the eyes of their friends, Remus let himself indulge, just for a moment.

Neither of them noticed the small crowd of people pressed against the window that overlooked the car park, and by the time Remus eventually dragged himself out of Sirius’ arms, they were gone.

“Let me know you get home ok, Moons.”

“Yeah, you too.” Remus opened the driver's side door. “Thanks for inviting us, we had a great night.”

“So did I.” Sirius smiled at him a little sadly before heading back across the car park to the main building.

"So long, London." Remus whispered at his retreating form.