London Boy

Teddy slept in until after nine the next morning, and Remus was very glad he'd decided to drive, because he hadn’t stopped talking for more than a few seconds since he bounded into the kitchen, and as much as he loved his son, managing that level of energy with a hangover would have been nigh impossible.

“… and then Harry said that me and you and him and Sirius should go ice skating. But he calls him Padfoot. That’s a weird name, isn’t it? Do you think Sirius likes Mario Kart? I won four times last night. Did you see when we didn’t tell Benjy that the race had started?” He looked up from his breakfast. “Why are you sad?”

“I’m not sad, Tedi bêr. I’m just tired.” He smiled at his son, “Padfoot is a weird name. I think you should ask Sirius where it came from.” The thought of Sirius stumbling over his words to try and explain the nickname was very amusing.

“Then why is your face like that?” Thanks, Teddy. He thought. “It’s been like that since we got home last night. All scrunchy.” Teddy scrunched up his face. “See.”

“I’m fine, Teddy.” Remus smiled, but he knew it didn’t meet his eyes. “Eat your cereal.”

“Are we seeing Sirius today?” Teddy asked before spooning cereal into his mouth.

“Not today, cyw. Nanny and Gramps are coming round this afternoon.” Remus sipped his tea. “I’m sure you’ll see Sirius next week sometime.” They’d decided that the cinema would be too late for Teddy, so were just going together, and his parents had agreed to watch Teddy. But maybe he could spare half an hour to pop Teddy into the station one afternoon after school if Sirius was around.

“Your face is scrunchy again,” Teddy said quietly.

“Ted, I’m alright. Please don’t worry.” Remus looked down at his son. “Would you like a cuddle?”

Teddy nodded, and in seconds was on Remus’ lap with Remus' arms around him, being rocked slightly. “Dad, I don’t want you to be sad.”

“Everybody gets sad sometimes. That’s part of being human, love. Are you worried I’ll be sad like I was after Mum died?” Teddy nodded against his chest. Every so often, he'd worry that Remus would spiral into depression again and Remus would try to explain it. He suspected that Teddy understood a little more each time they talked about it, so he'd have this conversation as many times as he had to, to reassure him. “Ok, I never know how much of that time you remember because you were so little. Losing your mum was so hard, I didn’t know if I’d ever be happy again. It was a big sad, and I was lost in it for a while. The only way I could ever be sadder than I was then, is if I lost you. It was scary, yeah? When I was really sad?” Teddy nodded, “But I got better, and Nanny, Gramps, Mam-gu and Tad-cu are always looking out for both of us. Plus, I learned how to know if the big sad comes creeping back up on me, and I learned tricks about how to stop it from ever getting that bad again.”

“But what if they don’t work?” Teddy said in a small voice.

“Then I know where to go to learn more ways to help. I promise you,” He kissed the top of Teddy’s head. “I promise you, that we’re going to be just fine, ok? Sometimes I might be a little bit sad for a little while, and that’s normal and ok. Like how you were sad when Sirius wasn’t around for a couple of weeks, and then you were happy again. It’s ok to be sad, cyw.”

“So you’re just a little bit sad, right?”

“Just a tiny bit.” He nodded, “I’m sorry that I said I wasn’t sad. I didn’t want to worry you, but I see now that I did anyway.” He squeezed Teddy until he giggled. “Do you want to bake some cupcakes for when Nanny and Gramps get here?”

Teddy looked up at him shrewdly, “You’re really ok?”

“Yes, I promise. I’m a little bit sad and I'm ok.” Teddy held out his tiny pinky finger, and Remus linked it with his own. “Pinky promise.”

“Well, alright then.” He wriggled out of Remus’ arms. “Can the icing be blue?”

“I’m sure they’d love blue icing. Let's see what we’ve got.”

🌙✨🌙✨🌙

When Remus opened the door that afternoon, he was greeted by not only his parents but Andromeda and Ted too. Once Hope came to help him make tea, he waited for her to explain.

“We bumped into them in the corner shop. Didn’t think you’d mind. Teddy never gets to see us all together these days.” Remus knew she was right. “I’m sorry, is it hard for you?”

“Yeah a bit, but you’re right. It’s nice for Teddy to have all of you here, and once I’m used to the idea in a few minutes, it’ll be nice for me too. It was just a surprise.”

“Iawn, del?” Hope looked at him when he didn’t answer, “You look sad, Remus.”

He rolled his eyes, “You sound like Teddy, mam.”

“Why is he telling you that you look sad?” Hope frowned. “What’s going on?”

“It’s nothing, just… not-really-a-relationship stuff.” He shrugged. “Right person, wrong timing.”

She pointed to the kitchen table. “Sit down.” She finished making the tea, took it through to the living room, and returned with Andromeda. They sat facing him and it suddenly felt like a job interview or a police interrogation. “Talk to us.”

Remus looked at Andy, “It’s Sirius.”

She nodded, “What about him? What’s he done now?”

“I don’t even know where to start.” Remus looked at his mum before focusing on the cup in front of him. “So, I met Andy’s cousin, Sirius, a few months ago. He just moved here and needed patching up a few times.”

“He’s a firefighter.” Added Andy, proudly.

“Then he took care of Teddy when the school caught fire, which led to me taking Teddy down to the station to give him a drawing to say thank you, and then we started spending time together. We went to the museum, and the park and to a hockey game, which was something. Teddy was with us most of the time so I don’t think I realised until yesterday that we were essentially... going on dates.”

“You’re dating someone?” Hope gasped.

“Let him finish.” Andy covered Hope’s hand with hers as they listened intently.

“Last night, we went to the Halloween party at the fire station. It was a lot of fun. Marlene and Dorcas were there and I think I have a few new friends now. Teddy hit it off with Harry, Sirius’ nephew, and it’s all been going quite great.” He pursed his lips. “We went outside to get some air, and he told me that he has feelings for me that aren’t entirely platonic, but it's fine if I don’t feel the same, because being my friend is more important.”

“And?” Andy whispered.

“I turned him down.” Remus caught the inside of his lip between his teeth to stop it from trembling. “I told myself that I wasn’t ready to date after those three dates with Ed. That while Teddy is still so young that I just want to be here for him, and not be distracted by trying to date. So I turned him down.”

“You know that any of us will help out with Teddy whenever you need us?” Hope said gently. “And you know that none of us are going to judge you if you meet someone you like?”

“He was really weirded out after you saw him here.” He said to Andy, “Ignored me for two weeks.”

“Ah, classic Black emotional constipation.” She rolled her eyes, “It was a strange way for him to come back into my life, I won’t lie. But I thought at least one of you knew that you were going on a date. I knew.”

“And it wouldn’t be… disrespectful, to see him like that?” Remus asked. “To Tonks?”

“Is that what the problem is?” Andy smiled softly, “Remus, above anything else, she would want you to be happy. From what I saw, and what I’ve heard from Teddy and from Sirius. He makes you both happy. So, respectfully, my darling, what the fuck is wrong with you?”

Remus snorted, “I wish I knew. It just feels like bad timing. I can't help but feel like I've led him on.”

“Nobody’s saying that you need to marry him tomorrow. But, do you not think it’s worth trying?” Andy said.

“What if he leaves us?” Remus asked quietly, “What if I let him in, and Teddy and I end up hurt? I don’t want to put him through losing someone just because I made a bad choice.”

“You can’t just deny yourself happiness because you might get hurt, love,” Hope said. “You have so many people in your corner. If it doesn’t work out, we’ll be here to help and pick you back up. But life would be so boring if everything was safe.”

“Oh, that’s a point. Hope! Remind me to give you the money for your skydive when we go back through!”

“I’m sorry, your what?” Remus blinked at his mum.

“I’m doing a skydive to raise money for the hospital charities.” Hope grinned at him, “Your dad bet me twenty quid that I would never skydive, so I thought I might as well make it for a good cause and get people to sponsor me or whatever it is people do. I have a Facebook page and everything!”

“Mam, that’s huge!” He reached across the table and squeezed your hand. “We’ll sponsor you too.”

“Thanks, love. But we’re not done here just yet.” She squeezed back, “You are a good man, you’re a good dad, you were a good husband. You are a good person, Remus. I think the way you’re feeling today indicates where your heart lies, no?”

“I know that you’re right.” He said, “It just feels like so much is at stake now. Teddy adores him.”

“And you?” Andy said with a knowing smile.

He sighed, “Yes, so do I.” He looked at Andy, “It’s not weird that I’d potentially be with your cousin?”

“Honestly, it probably should feel weirder, but no.” Andy’s smile was genuine, “Sirius would dress up as a princess and play with Tonks and his little brother when they were kids, even though his parents hated it and would— well anyway, she idolised him, and he loved her and Reg so much. He was a good kid, and he’s an even better man. I think you’d be good together, and I don’t say that lightly. I did not like that Edgar chap.”

“Yes, you made that very clear at the time to all parties involved, Andromeda.” Remus laughed. “Right, ok. So, what do I do now?”

“Unless you want to draw a picture and take it down to the station and see if that works again, I think you’re just going to have to talk to him, Blodyn Tatws.” Hope smiled at him, “You’ll know what to say. You always do.”

“I’m so grateful to you both, to all four of you. You know that, right?” Remus reached out for Andy’s hand too.

“We love you, and we love Teddy, and we want you both to be as happy as you possibly can be.” Andy said, “And if that means you dating yet another member of my family—” Remus laughed, “I’m joking. We all just want the world for you both, and we’ll do anything we can to help.”

“Well, thank you for listening, this actually has really helped.” Remus was smiling, and the tension in his head was starting to ease. “I’m not saying that it’s going to happen, mind. But I’ll think about it, rather than just… not thinking about it, I guess.”

🌙✨🌙✨🌙

Remus had intended to spend the week checking in with his feelings and had planned to talk to Sirius on Saturday when they went to the cinema.

Then on Monday afternoon, when he called through his next patient, he saw Benjy and Sirius in the waiting area. Neither of them saw him, as they seemed to be having a fairly heated whispered conversation. He excused himself for a few seconds when he reached the examination room.

Moony 🏥🌝

you and Benjy ok?

He stepped back into the room and switched to professional mode. When he’d sent the patient to get a blood test, he poked his head back into the waiting room before he checked his phone, but now only Benjy was there. Caradoc handed him Benjy’s chart with a look that screamed ‘Don’t say a word, Remus!”.

“Benjamin Fenwick,” Remus called, and Benjy grinned when he looked up. He was holding one arm with the other, which didn’t look good.

“Remus!” He said, “Funny seeing you here! Makes a change from you showing up at my job.”

When they got into the examination room, Remus pulled out his phone discreetly and checked it. Nothing.

He must have frowned, because when he looked up, Benjy was smirking at him, “He got called through mid-reply.” He said.

“Right, thank you. So you fell on your arm?” Remus looked at the chart, hoping his face wasn’t as red as it felt.

“Fell through a rotten floor, didn’t we?” Benjy rolled his eyes. “Fuckin’ council.”

“Ah, shit. So a full-storey fall?” Remus typed as Benjy explained how four of them had managed to fall through the first floor of an old office building.

Remus examined his wrist delicately, suspecting that he was very lucky that it wasn’t broken.

“I’ll need to send you up to radiology to confirm, but I think it’s likely to be a bad sprain, rather than a break. Which is lucky from a fall that high and having landed on it.” He smiled at Benjy. “Let me grab you a sling and then I’ll take you up.”

“Thanks, Remus.” Benjy smiled. “Do you not want to know what happened to Sirius?”

“I didn’t know if it was ok to ask.” Said Remus, rummaging in a cabinet. “You seemed to be having quite the conversation when I saw you earlier though so he can’t be too badly hurt.”

Benjy’s ears went pink. “He was just winding me up about Cara. Tried to explain to him that just because he has no qualms about hitting on people doing their job doesn’t mean everyone is ok with it.” Benjy froze, “Sorry, that’s probably not… uh, sorry.”

“Alright, so he has told you about our conversation.” Remus huffed out a hollow laugh, “Well that’s good to know, I suppose.”

“Only me and Marls, because we asked.” He nodded.

“Fair enough.” Remus shrugged, “I talked to Dorcas about it so I’m not judging. I’m sure she and Marls go home and compare notes. So. You and Cara then?”

“It’s not like that,” Benjy muttered as Remus tied the sling around his neck.

“No? So he doesn’t have a picture of the two of you hanging up in his locker?”

“Does he?” Benjy’s face lit up.

“I kinda just wanted to see how you’d react, but yeah he actually does.” Remus smiled. “Sometimes you have to put yourself out there even if it means you might get hurt. I got a big speech from my mam on Saturday about how life would be boring if everything was safe, and that’s how I learned she’s doing a skydive next month to raise money for hospital charities.”

“No offence Remus, because I know that your reasons are totally legit, but I don’t want to take advice from you about putting yourself out there.” Benjy smiled at him.

“Yeah, that’s fair. None taken, it’s... pretty shit.” Remus shrugged. “But I still say if you like him, tell him.”

“I’ll think about it.”

“Alright. Let’s get you up to X-ray then.”

🌙✨🌙✨🌙

After he dropped Benjy off at radiology, he checked his phone again.

London 🚒🖤

Mild concussion apparently. Benjy’s fucked up his wrist, and he won’t talk to Cara while he’s here, which is worse!

Moony 🏥🌝

Are you still here? My lunch is in 15. Did you land on your head?! 🥴🥴

London 🚒🖤

Prongs picked me up about ten minutes ago 😫 sorry.
Yeah kinda, I landed mostly on Benjy 😂 but even with my helmet on, my head hit the floor pretty hard. RIP to that helmet.

Moony 🏥🌝

It died doing what it loved. 🫡
Protecting your accident-prone arse.
No worries. Might pop in with Teddy one day after school if you’ll be about?

London 🚒🖤

If you can come tomorrow I’ll definitely be about bc I’m not allowed on calls for 48 hours. 🥴

Moony 🏥🌝

Coffee and dusting duties for you! Fun!
Tomorrow is good.
Should be there about four.

Remus erased multiple messages saying that Teddy missed him. What he wanted to say was that he missed Sirius. It felt ridiculous to admit, though. He’d seen Sirius on Friday night. Less than three days ago. Sirius didn’t message back during his lunch, but when he checked his phone at the end of his shift, he laughed in the middle of the car park.

London 🚒🖤

Ysbyty!

Moony 🏥🌝

Is this the concussion or am I supposed to send back Gorsaf dân?

London 🚒🖤

I learnt a new word!

Moony 🏥🌝

Congrats! So that’s five now?

London 🚒🖤

Excuse you, I know at least ten. I just can’t spell them.

Moony 🏥🌝

Aw, maybe Teddy can teach you!
The implication being that my six-year-old knows more Welsh than you.
In case that wasn’t clear. 😌

London 🚒🖤

He’s lived here for five and a half? years longer than me, that’s hardly a fair comparison, Moony!
Actually, that’s a good point. When’s his birthday?

Moony 🏥🌝

Two weeks after mine. March 24th. Don’t worry, you’ll get an invite to the party.
When’s your birthday?

London 🚒🖤

Of course he’s an Aries!
My birthday is on Sunday 🙃

Moony 🏥🌝

And were you planning to bring that up at any point?

London 🚒🖤

I hadn’t really thought about it, honestly. I usually just spend it with Lily, James and Harry. They like to make a fuss.
Don’t suppose you and Teddy are free on Sunday?

Moony 🏥🌝

Lily already invited us, cariad.
We’ll be there.

London 🚒🖤

You’re such a shit! I felt so bad! 😂
Also now I can spell two welsh words!

Moony 🏥🌝

Happy to help indoctrinate you.
Llundain yn israddol!
That means congratulations 🥳

London 🚒🖤

Then why is Davey pissing himself?
Woooooooooow
'London is inferior'?
One day, I’ll take you to London, and you’ll love it.

Moony 🏥🌝

If you say so.
Or maybe I’ll make you hate it.

London 🚒🖤

I’m prepared to take the risk.

Remus hoped that he could be, too.