London Boy

Going from regularly texting to the barren wasteland of communication that now spread between them was hard. Remus knew that it must be hard to learn that your cousin had died, and that she’d had a whole vibrant, beautiful life that you’d been unaware of, but selfishly, Remus missed him.

Despite knowing that he didn’t want to date, he’d enjoyed the simmering vibes between them. The double entendres that flew over Teddy’s head and made Sirius snort unexpectedly, the new ways to tease him in Welsh, and embracing the tiny touches here and there that made his whole body tingle.

Watching Sirius interact with Teddy was a whole other thing. When Sirius had said that he wasn’t dad material and that he didn’t want kids, he’d been, stupidly, a little disappointed, but the way he cheered Teddy on at mini golf, the way he helped him read the information boards at the museum and the way he was protective of Teddy as they played Mario Kart with Benjy, Davey and Marlene… he wouldn’t categorise it as hot, per se. But it definitely did something to him that left him with an ache in his chest.

Teddy missed Sirius too. He’d asked Remus ten times in the last two weeks when they would next see Sirius and he just didn’t know what to tell him other than that Sirius was busy at the moment with work.

All the more reason to not date anybody, he reasoned. Not that he’d introduced Sirius to Teddy as anything but a friend, two weeks of silence wasn’t ideal between most friends either.

But mostly, Remus just missed him.

🌙✨🌙✨🌙

Marlene strode to the front desk. “Hiya Cara, I have two firefighters who have taken in quite a bit of smoke. Might need looking over. Take a guess who.”

Caradoc took one look at Sirius and Benjy and sent them to be triaged immediately. It was almost 2 am, and A&E was quiet anyway. Sirius noted the way that Caradoc fussed over Benjy and not him and made a mental note to ask Benjy about that later, or even better, Marlene.

Sirius had arguably got the worst of it, but Benjy was struggling too, despite the supplemental oxygen they’d had on the scene and journey to the hospital. Marlene offered to stay, but they insisted she get back to people who may actually need her expertise. She made them promise to tell Dorcas that she loved her if they saw her, and reluctantly left.

Sirius couldn’t tell whether he wanted to see Remus or not. He didn’t know what had bothered him so much about learning that Remus had been married to, and had a child with, Tonks.

The door to the room he’d been shown to open, and Dorcas stepped inside. Why was he disappointed?

“Sirius!” She smiled, “Back again?”

“I’m not here that much!” He croaked. “This is a conspiracy.”

“Whatever you say, Blodyn.” She put down his chart and pulled out a stethoscope. “I’ll need you to take some deep breaths please.”

“Marly said to tell you that she loves you. She dropped us off. Me and Benj.” Dorcas nodded with a smile.

As she listened to his chest, then his back, Sirius wondered whether he should ask about Remus. See how he’d been. Seen if he’d been as miserable as Sirius. But she beat him to it.

“Remus said he hasn’t heard from you in a while.” Oh, she was going right in then. “You been busy, have you?”

Sirius opened his mouth to reply but found himself coughing uncontrollably. After a few seconds, Dorcas rubbed his back gently and replaced the oxygen mask, which made it more uncomfortable to cough, but at least it seemed to be helping slow it down.

“Right, you’ll need to be kept in for observation. Can’t send you home when you’re coughing like that, flower.” She turned to the computer and started typing.

“Is he… working… now?” Sirius wheezed, replacing the oxygen mask when she glowered at him.

“His shift starts at seven.” She said lightly. “Now, listen. Marlene’s told me all about the hot nurse stuff.” Her face remained passive. “Sounds like when we first got together, honestly. She was here for some of her paramedic training and the rest, as they say, is history.”

“What did Remus… tell you?” Sirius knew that Dorcas would have known Tonks, but didn’t know if Remus had told her the recent revelation.

“That’s not for me to say, really.” She said, “Just when I asked if you were planning to go out again, he said you left him on read.”

Sirius’ stomach twisted. It was the truth. Remus had texted him a couple of times in the days after they went to see the Devils, but Sirius hadn’t known how to respond, and then it was too late for it not to be weird, and then it felt even weirder.

“Did he tell you… that Tonks was my… cousin?” Sirius said into the mask.

She looked at him sharply, wondering if she’d misheard. “Say that again.”

“Well, her mum… is my cousin technically.” Sirius took a deep breath, “My dad and Andy’s mum… are siblings.”

“Oh.” She said, looking dazed, “Well that’s complicated, Ynte? Did you know?”

“Not until Andy showed up… to pick up Teddy.” He coughed, “I think it left both of us pretty shaken. Andy seemed to… take it in stride.”

Dorcas suddenly understood a lot about Remus’ mood for the last fortnight. She’d really enjoyed him coming into work smiling, telling her little stories about the outings with Sirius. He was adamant that they weren’t dates, because he wasn’t taking Teddy on dates with him. Then she’d learned about the hockey game, without Teddy, and she’d been so ready for all the juicy details the next day, but there was nothing. He’d actually tried to avoid her, unsuccessfully, and one look at his face told her that he didn’t want to talk about it.

“And you’ve not spoken since?” She said, still typing.

“No.” He said, “That’s on me, honestly… I don’t even know why it’s bothered me… so much. Every time I try and think about it… I just feel so exhausted. It doesn’t make any… sense.”

“I’m sure you’ll get there. You'll figure it out between you.” She said, clacking the enter key far too loudly. “Let’s get you in a bed then.”

Sirius reluctantly got into a wheelchair and let Dorcas push him to a ward. Once he was settled, she looked at him, “For what it’s worth, Sirius. I hadn’t seen him that happy in years.” She nodded before he could answer, and then she was gone.

He wondered whether he should text Remus and let him know that he was in the hospital. Maybe it was polite to let your friend that you’ve accidentally ghosted know that you’re unavoidably at his place of work. Or maybe it was weird to do that. For all the etiquette his family had drilled into him, there were a lot of social situations that left him very confused. A lot of them related to Remus, admittedly.

He should try and sleep. Dorcas had swapped the mask for some nasal prongs, at which he’d chuckled to himself, and sent James a picture as soon as he was alone, which were slightly more comfortable, but he was still very aware of them, and the hospital gown was itchy, and the sheets were thin but also too heavy and it hurt when he breathed in too deeply and then he was asleep.

He woke up the next morning to someone dragging the blood pressure machine over to his bed. He rolled over and thought perhaps he was dreaming, because there, next to his bed, looking nervous and somewhat pale, was Remus.

“Moony?” He rasped, pulled a face, and then tried again. “Moony? It’s you?” It was slightly more audible.

Remus nodded trying not to pay any attention to the sleepy smile on Sirius’ face, “It’s me, London. Been breathing in smoke, have you?”

“Just a bit.” Sirius shrugged, “My lungs still mostly work.”

“I’ll be the judge of that, thank you.” Remus shot him a tight smile and wrapped the cuff around Sirius’ arm. “You in any pain?”

“A bit achey, but nothing major. I don’t feel as breathless now.” Sirius said as Remus noted his readings down on the chart. “How are you?”

Remus arched an eyebrow, “Alright. You?”

Sirius nodded, “I’m sorry, for ghosting you.” Remus waited for him to continue. “I don’t know why I couldn’t— I spiralled a bit the first couple of days. Then it felt awkward to reply days later when I knew things were weird for you too.”

Remus nodded, “Why did it bother you so much, Sirius?”

“I’ve been turning it over and over in my head, and I can’t make it make any sense. It was weird seeing Andy, and weird learning about N- Tonks. But I don’t know why it made me shut down like that.” Sirius wouldn’t meet his eye as Remus removed the cuff.

He took Sirius’ temperature, noted the numbers down and then perched on the edge of the bed. “From what little I know about your family or Andy’s family, I suppose, I can’t imagine that seeing each other was easy. Maybe a reminder of what both of you left behind or something.”

“I thought it might be that, but I was so happy to see her. It surprised me. I don’t know, Moony.” He paused, “I’m sure it was also strange to learn that your new friend is actually your son’s cousin twice removed or whatever I am. That’s not a normal revelation to have before a hockey match.”

“You’ve never been to a hockey match before, so I don’t know how you’d know.” Remus’ face softened slightly. “Yeah, it was, a weird evening. Maybe we just draw a line under it and go back to how things were before you turned my life into an episode of Who do you think you are?.”

Sirius smiled, “I’d like that. I really missed spending time with you. And Teddy, of course.”

“Of course.” Remus said softly, “He’s been asking about you every bloody day.”

“Ah, so you just want me back so you can get some peace and quiet. I see how it is, Moony.”

“Shut up, London.” There it was, the proper Remus smile. Sirius’ stomach and chest filled with butterflies or stardust or something explosive and the next moment he was coughing again. “Alright, alright, let’s sit you up, Seren Bach.” He pressed the button that elevated the top of Sirius’ bed and got him into a sitting position, making sure his pillow was in the right place. “You still breathing there?” He asked once Sirius had stopped coughing.

“Just about,” He spluttered. Remus handed him a glass of water from the jug on his table, which he sipped gratefully. “I really am sorry that I left you on read. I hated it.”

“Thank you.” Remus nodded, “For the record, I hated it too. But we’ve drawn a line.”

“We’ve drawn a line.” Sirius nodded.

“I need to get back to A&E. I may have bribed Emmeline, your actual nurse, with a Twix, so be nice to her when she comes back, even though she’s not me.” Remus stood up. “Let me know you get home alright, yeah?”

“Ok.” Sirius smiled, “Thanks, Moons.”

Remus looked like he was about to say something, but he just nodded and left the ward, still smiling to himself. Sirius wished he didn’t miss being called cariad.

Loverboy

What does 'serran back' mean?"