Chapter 1
Chapter 1
1 May 1978
Dear Stag,
I’m sorry for taking too long to answer. I’ve been busy with finals coming up and I haven’t had a lot of time for doing anything else besides studying.
How was your week? Mine was boring as usual, nothing special except i finished the book you recommended, if i thought you were a hopeless romantic before now i am a hundred percent sure you are.
Personally, i think there was a clear lack of miscommunication during the entire book. If Claire hadn’t been scared at all times of her being rejected by Gus and just said how she felt the book would have been 100 pages long but i guess that’s the fun of it?
I didn’t take you for a forbidden love kind of guy but knowing you it’s not surprising.
Anyways, have you noticed how the weather is not warm yet. It feels like summer is far away even though is only one month away. Better for me, i always thought cold weather is better than warm, but you probably know this already.
I’m sorry again for taking so long to answer, i miss you just a little bit but pretend you didn’t read that.
Blackbird.
Regulus folded the letter and put it in a envelope, handling it to his owl and watched it fly away from the owlery. He took a deep breath as anxiety creeped into his body.
He didn’t know how to find the right words to say it, well, write it. He was such a coward, time was running out and it wasn’t stopping for him.
He was clenching into these last letters, too many memories in his mind to let go of the best thing that has happened to him in his life.
Two years, two years of letters, secret confessions, fights, revealing every single innermost thought he has ever had and he doesn’t regret a single thing. Stag knows practically everything about regulus, except the most basic information, like his name and anything that could reveal who he is. Is the same way with Regulus, he could talk for hours about Stag, maybe write, because Regulus isn’t very good with words. That’s why talking with Stag is so easy for him, he doesn’t have to put on an act, he can be himself with him.
It wasn’t like that at the beginning, Regulus thought for months that the whole exchanging letters project made by Dumbledore was stupid.
It started two years ago, when Regulus was in 4th year, every student was assigned a random person to exchange letters anonymously. The purpose was stop house rivalry and stop discrimination to muggleborns. Of course the whole thing failed miserably and people found out who they were writing within days of the project starting, but that wasn’t the case with Regulus and Stag.
They were only forced by the school to write each other for a few months, but eventually the Headmaster gave up with the project. That didn’t stop them, Stag kept sending letters and Regulus kept responding. Regulus found an immense comfort writing and reading Stag’s letters, they went through so much these last two years, they usually didn’t share the same opinions on most of the topics and disagree in plenty of stuff but that kept Regulus excited and made him look at life differently.
Stag is so calm and patient with Regulus, but at the same time he always makes jokes that make Regulus think he’s crazy and stupid but can’t resist but love them.
Stag is Regulus’ little secret, his friends don’t know about him and he prefers to keep it that way, he doesn’t open up about anything, he only does with Stag and he has confessed to him things that he would have never expected to admit.
They have had fights too, mostly about blood status, Regulus grew up in a place where the word mudblood was used daily, and was reminded everyday about the superiority of his blood. Stag and him argued about this for days and Stag tried to change his mind but Regulus was being stubborn.
They spent two weeks without writing each other and eventually Regulus apologized and said that he would try to change that thought for Stag, which he sort of did.
Regulus isn’t the type to really care about everything too much or take things personally so he doesn’t care about other people’s business, including their blood status. It took him a while but Stag made him view things in a different perspective that Regulus didn’t know existed.
But fate isn’t in Regulus’ side and even though he doesn’t really believe in blood supremacy, his family has been involved with a dark Wizard called Lord Voldemort for a long time and it was his time to take the Dark Mark this summer.
Most of the seventh year boys in Slytherin already have it, they brag about it and hex anybody who dares to talk bad about their Lord, soon to be Regulus’ as well.
His parents are satisfied that the Dark Lord chose him at his young age to take the mark, it was obvious, most of his family already has it.
The Black family is one of the most powerful families in the country and Voldemort needs that sort of power, he hasn’t taken over the ministry yet, but it won’t take him long. Regulus just wishes he could have at least finished his studies and then take the mark.
He will be returning for his 7th year but as soon as he finishes, he will be fighting, or doing whatever Voldemort wants him to do, it’s not like he really has a choice, Regulus has nowhere to go, his friends and all the people he knows are on the dark side, even if he wanted to leave he wouldn’t be able to. His parents would find him and kill him right there.
Regulus doesn’t know Stag’s position in the war but he’s certain he’s in the other side, Stag wouldn’t hurt anyone intentionally, he’s pure, honest and fair.
Regulus can’t poison him with his shitty life, he can’t put him in risk because he would never forgive himself, besides, Stag is already graduating this year which means he probably doesn’t want to continue whatever they have going on.
Regulus shook his head to stop overthinking and made his way out of the owlery because dinner was starting soon, he entered the Great Hall and walked to the Slytherin table and sat down between Evan and Barty, his closest friends.
He met Evan when he was seven and his parents were forcing him to make friends with other Pureblood kids. Evan is similar to Regulus in a lot of ways, he’s reserved, usually quiet, but won’t let anyone get into his way. They met Barty in their shared dorm, when they were all first years. At first, Regulus though Barty was crazy, he had so much energy and wouldn’t stop running around. That has slightly changed, he’s still his usual crazy self, but more mature.
Barty’s intelligence makes up for it, he’s one of the smartest people he has ever met, he can come up with solutions for things in seconds, and doesn’t have to open a book to get the highest mark in the class.
“Where were you man?” Barty asked stuffing food in his mouth.
“Just doing some research” Regulus lied, serving himself a plate even though he was
not hungry at all.
“Researching what exactly?” Barty insisted.
“Ways to kill your roommate in their sleep” Regulus said sharply as he started eating.
“Sounds kinky to me” Barty said with a smirk.
“Ew, stop being weird” Evan responded.
“Well you missed what happened, Dorcas got into some big fight with Avery. I think they broke up, it was in the common room and everybody was there. It was epic, you should have seen it” Barty said as he kept eating, he has a thing for gossip and drama, he can be the biggest drama queen himself too.
“What? Where is she now?” Regulus asked with worry in his tone, Dorcas wasn’t as close with him as Evan and Barty but she was bearable unlike the rest of his housemates.
“No idea, probably in her room or something”
“I’m gonna go look for her” Regulus said as an excuse to leave the Great Hall but also wanted to ask Dorcas what happened.
Regulus made his way through the dark corridors, the sun was already down and there was barely any light near the dungeons. He turned a corner and his heart almost stopped as he bumped into someone so hard he almost fell to the floor.
Regulus focused his vision in the poor lighting.
Lupin.
This fucker.
“What the fuck? What is your goddamn problem running around the corridors you prat” Regulus said as he steadied his breath.
“What’s it to you? You shouldn’t be here either” Lupin answered.
“I shouldn’t be here? I didn’t know the Griffindoor common room was in the dungeons.” Regulus said straightening his back, Lupin was almost one head taller than him so it’s not exactly convenient for him to get into a fight with him. But he could win using a wand.
“Whatever, it’s none of your business”
“I never asked you to begin with, just watch out where you are going” Regulus finally said as he started to walk away.
“Regulus wait” Lupin followed him.
“What the hell do you want now?” Regulus slightly turned around.
“You should talk to Sirius you know? Come on, there’s no much left of the school year and with everything that’s going on… i don’t know, maybe you don’t feel like it’s the right thing but he thinks about you you know? Even though he won’t admit it.
Anger rushed through Regulus’ body, how dared this imbecile assume any of his feelings, he was ready to grab his wand and hex him but he can’t afford to act impulsively, it would cost him too much.
“As you said, it’s none of your fucking business”. He started walking again as he tried to stay collected, at least until he got to his room.
Sirius, they haven’t talked in months, it was too much, there was too much resentment between them, too many unspoken words and conversations.
Regulus doesn’t hate him, not even a little bit, he just couldn’t. He can’t blame him for leaving, because he would have too if he could but there was this part of him that weighted at the thought of what he would have done if the roles were reversed, he knows it’s not this easy but he has never been able to imagine leaving Sirius, they took care of eachother, they always did, it was mutual, it was supposed to be their thing. Or at least that’s what Regulus thought.
But there’s nothing he can do now, they both have their paths and those are completely different. He just can’t help being angry at him, he has tried, really tried but he physically can’t.
Regulus ran his hands through his hair and breathed heavily as he entered the Slytherin common room at the same time Dorcas was coming out of it.
“Hey, are you okay?” She asked.
“I’m fine” Regulus answered, but he wasn’t, that conversation with Lupin was the last thing he needed today.
“Sure, if you say so”. Dorcas said, she could read Regulus more than he’d like, it’s annoying.
“Are you okay? Barty told me what happened”.
“Yes, i mean everything was part of the plan so, i'm glad it’s over”. Dorcas said lowering her voice, even though the common room was deserted.
“Good, should we go to my room?”. Regulus asked.
“Yes, let’s go”. Dorcas replied, he followed after her and walked upstairs.
They got to his room and immediately Regulus dropped to his bed and stared at the ceiling.
“Are you sure everything is fine? Did something happen?”. Dorcas asked raising an eyebrow.
“Nothing to worry about”. He answered.
“Okay, if you say so. Well, I’m so relieved everything worked out, I already sent the letter to my parents saying how I'm never coming back to their stupid house” Dorcas said as she laid down next to him.
“What does Marlene think of that?”. Regulus asked.
“She’s not very happy that i’m leaving my family behind to be with her, but she’s not the entire reason, i was going to end up doing it sooner or later”.
Dorcas had been forced by her parents to date Avery and were already planning the wedding, disgusting. But she turned seventeen yesterday, which means they don’t have any power over her now.
She also met this Griffindoor girl a couple weeks ago and they fell in love, it was instant, like fireworks, that’s how Dorcas described it.
Now, she was going to move in with her in her family, Regulus considered this a little reckless, taking into account the little time they have actually known each other, but he can’t be one to judge, knowing that he’s in love with someone he hasn’t even met.
“So, what are your plans after the school year finishes?” Dorcas asked with a gentle voice, like she was afraid of what the answer would be.
“Are you sure that’s the question you want to ask?”. Regulus asked, still staring at the ceiling.
“No, was i going to get an answer anyway?”. Dorcas sat down in the bed.
“Don’t ask questions you don’t want the answers to”. He answered also sitting down.
“I want the answers, you always do this you keep pushing me away”.
“Just drop it Dorcas”. Regulus answered, he got up off the bed and pretended to clean the room.
“Stop telling me to drop it, you don’t trust me is that it?”. Dorcas got up and walked towards Regulus. She could be very, very persistent.
“Dorcas there’s a war going on out there, don’t you get it? You shouldn’t trust anyone, not even me”. Regulus held her gaze this time.
“Whatever, im not fighting with you about this anymore”. Dorcas sat down on the bed again.
“Good, because i’m not fighting either”.