1
Barty was really fucking pissed. He wouldn’t have landed in this mess if it weren’t for Evan Rosier’s incredible stupidity when it came to causing mayhem. If it weren’t for the blond running his loud mouth, they both could’ve avoided this onslaught of rumours that surrounded them like a rainstorm. An argument about who was better at school landed the pair at detention, where Evan managed to lock them into a broom closet for almost half an hour. It was just Barty’s luck that someone saw them when they both stumbled out of there, ties loosened because of the heat in the cupboard.
Barty opened his mouth to say something, but it was futile since he ran away as soon as it was evident that he saw them together. Not that they were partaking in anything illicit (unless swearing at Evan’s idiocy could be considered illicit). Things spread faster than wildfire at Hogwarts, and he wasn’t even home before Pandora texted him a ‘congratulations on figuring it out’.
Barty had stopped Evan the next day, pulling him into an empty classroom.
‘You’re so not helping the rumours,’ Evan’s eyes were full of mirth because clearly, this situation was the epitome of entertainment.
‘You should consider yourself lucky that you’re not dead yet.’
‘Oh, how will I ever recover?’ Evan raised a hand to his forehead, falling into Barty.
‘Fuck right off, actually. You need to make this shit right. Now.’ Barty pushed the blond off him.
‘And if I don’t? What will you do then?’ Evan rested against a table. Barty resorted to giving him a nasty look in response. ‘Okay, I’ll make a proposition.’
‘Spit it out then.’
‘You can pretend to be my boyfriend.’ Barty shook his head vehemently.
‘Absolutely fucking not. No way.’ Evan scoffed.
‘Hear me out, you prick.’ Barty sighed. ‘You can make that ex of yours jealous, and I can have a boyfriend for a bit.’
‘Fake boyfriend. And I’m not trying to make Regulus jealous.’ Evan laughed out loud, clutching his stomach.
‘It’s not fucking funny.’
‘Baby, trust me, it’s hilarious. This is like saying that grass is purple.’
‘If I agree to your proposition, will you stop acting like a moron?’
‘That, and so much more. So, do we have a deal?’ Evan stretched his hand out, which Barty took, albeit hesitantly. He wiped his hand on his jeans quickly after they shook hands.
‘First order of business?’ Barty looked at him incredulously. ‘Okay. Take off your jumper.’
‘Whoa, whoa, whoa. Push the brakes. Take me to dinner first.’
‘Didn’t know you were a comedian, Crouch. Now, strip.’ Barty grimaced, but relented to pulling his jumper over his head. He held it out to Evan, who took it too quickly.
‘Now, you need to walk me to class.’ Barty inhaled sharply. ‘God, it’s almost like you’ve never been in a high school relationship.’
‘Yeah, well, Regulus wasn’t the most demanding boyfriend on Earth.’
‘Is that so? Then why is he living it up next to James Potter? He wasn’t nearly this happy with you.’ Rage bubbled under his skin.
‘I’m going to fucking kill you.’ Barty grabbed the blond’s shirt. They were standing far too close for comfort. The door of the classroom swung open, and before Barty could move, he realised he was, yet again, in a compromising position with Evan Rosier.
‘Sorry, I’ll give you two some space.’
‘No! I mean—‘ Barty practically shouted.
‘We were done here anyway. Class is all yours.’ Evan spoke. He grabbed Barty’s hand, walking him out the door.
‘You can kill me once you walk me to class.’