Couldn't Look Away Even If I'd Wanted
REGULUS
September 14, 7:48 am
Regulus woke up to the blaring sound of his alarm, tired and groggy but ready to get up (unusual for him, he knows). He pulls off his duvet and slips out of gray joggers and into black jeans and a navy button up and he grabs his navy docs to finish it off.
When he gets to the dining room everyone is already either eating breakfast or grabbing bags and shoes.
“Have a good night’s rest, sleeping beauty?” Barty asks with a mouthful of pancakes in his mouth.
Regulus rolls his eyes at the comment but doesn’t reply, instead reaching for a banana and a glass of cran-grape juice.
“I still don’t get why we don’t just get regular grape juice” Evan comments, eyebrows furrowed.
“Because regular grape juice isn’t as good as cran-grape and it tastes like chemicals” Regulus replies, not looking up from cutting his banana.
“I thought you ‘loved chemicals til’ the day you die’” Barty mocks
“Yeah well, that’s only when it’s in form of caffeine”
“Guys, we really have to get going, we have to be at the interview at 8:15 sharp or Cissa will kill us” Dorcas is busy applying a plum lipstick and mascara, so her mouth is fully open while she says this.
“Why did we let your demon of a cousin be our manager” Barty groans
“Because no one else is competent and if anyone’s the demon here, it’s you, Bartemius” Cissa is standing in the doorway with an annoyed scowl on her face, she’s similar to Regulus that way.
“Eughh not the full name” Barty is collapsed on the couch with half a banana in his mouth.
“You guys should’ve been on the road ….7 minutes ago” Cissa looks at her watch.
“We’re going, we’re going, Regulus just needs to hurry up!” Dorcas shouts
*****
They arrive at the interview on time, surprisingly and they take their seats in front of the camera. Barty and Evan are playfully bickering and Dorcas is busy talking to Narcissa with Pandora listening intently.
“Ok, we are going to start filming in a few minutes, is everyone clear on how this will go?” The director, Dave (?), says. A chorus of agreements go about, and they all start getting ready for the Action! that’s bound to come any moment.
The interview is supposed to go like this: Each person will have a handful of questions that are hand picked from the company and the other band members will try to answer by pressing a buzzer, similar to a game show except the questions will be about a person instead of a topic.
Narcissa tells them that Regulus will be the one that the company would like to go first.
There’s a bowl of questions that have been previously set up and placed on the table dividing the black chair from the mauve sofa that Pandora, Dorcas, Evan, and Barty all sit on.
Regulus pulls out the first paper “What is your favorite of the band’s songs?”
He speaks again, this time towards the people behind the camera “Wait, does it have to be one I’ve written or just anyone’s?”
There’s a few murmurs and then a clearer voice answers and says “Out of anyone in the band, including yourself ”
He nods but then the green buzzer is slammed down by a dark, accessorized hand.
“Is it Doomsday?” Dorcas asks, hand still hovering over the buzzer like she’ll block anyone who tries to get an answer in– she probably will actually, since she’s the definition of a hypercompetitive person.
“No, but that’s one of my favorites” He bites his lower lip and tries to pin-point his very favorite.
Another buzz.
“Habits?” Barty asks, quirking up his left eyebrow.
“Maybe…” His face is in his master planning stage, as Evan calls it.
“WAIT! IS IT It’s Called: Freefall -BUT THE ACOUSTIC VERSION?” Evan is leaning half way off his seat and his voice is almost yelling, but not in a mean way.
Regulus’ eyes light up but they all snap their heads to the buzzer which Pandora’s slim, blue nail polished covered hands are lifting up from.
“Exactly what Evan said but I pressed the buzzer so it’s my point” She has a slight smile on her face that fits perfectly with the pale pink lipstick she had put on earlier.
“But that’s not fair!” Evan groans
“Yes it is! The rules were whoever pressed the buzzer first and got it right, got the point.” Although she was a fairly kind, and free soul, she had an stubborn streak, as did her twin.
“But I said it first!”
“Ok you guys, it’s Dora’s point because she pressed the buzzer but Evan you can get a half point for saying it first” Narcissa calls from the back looking smug because her and Pandora had built a secret alliance of sorts, over the past few years.
“And also because she wrote the damn song” Regulus mumbles, although not as upset as his words made him sound.
“Really that’s your favorite?” Dorcas asks, head tilted and almost like she’s hoping he might change his mind if she can convince him.
“You're just mad because you lost the point” Barty says while he nudges her boot from his seat next to her.
“So are you!” Dorcas whips her head around to look at him
“Ok can we just get on with my explanation already, you guys are acting like nine year olds” Regulus rolls his eyes.
“Oh yes, please tell us why my song is the best of them all!” Dora fake swoons with one hand over her forehead, which is thrown back, and Evan elbows her beneath the ribs.
Regulus’ mouth quirks up and he sighs, “Actually I think it’s a tie between that and Bruno Is Orange but it’s because they both have a really deep, and cool meaning that’s very special to me. Freefall is really special to me because it was almost a wake-up call, when Pan played it for me, the first time and it helped me get out of a bad headspace and then Bruno Is Orange because I wrote it for someone I was really close to a long time ago, and it’s helped me heal a lot from that period of my my life, even if that song knocks the wind out of me when I perform it” He chuckles at the last part of his little explanation.
His friends, plus Narcissa, all give him a look of understanding because only they know how much Sirius leaving that house affected him.
“Ok next question… What age did you have your first sip of alcohol?” He covers his eyes with his hands as he sets the paper down.
“Oh! I know this one” Cissa smirks and leans back on her heel with her arms crossed.
“Wait, whisper it to me!” Barty whisper-shouts
“No, that's cheating!” Dorcas shouts
“Oh because you're such an honorable sport?” Barty quips back
“Hey!”
Regulus watches the interaction with a smug look for two reasons: firstly, none of them will get it right and secondly, they’re both significantly (?) older than him and still act like kids.
“Ok guys, let’s actually guess or we’ll get kicked out of the interview” Evan chuckles.
“Ok, well Reg was seventeen when our album dropped and we toasted with champagne at the release party… So seventeen?” Barty asks, eyebrows raised and head tilted.
“Nope, earlier than that. Also, so we won’t get yelled at for drinking underage, most people at that party were at least eighteen, including Barty and Dorcas, and I was only a couple weeks shy of seventeen so don’t cancel us for underage drinking.” Regulus is facing the camera now, and talks a tiny bit with his hands, an annoying habit he has tried to break and (almost) succeeded.
“Oh yeah thanks, Reg, but can we backtrack, you said earlier than seventeen?” Evan asks a little shocked, but not much since it’s Regulus they're talking about. That doesn’t mean he’s a party animal but he’s been known to have an eccentric reputation especially from his early teen years.
Narcissa gives him a knowing smile and motions for him to spit it out.
“I was seven actually.” He shrugs and moves his hand up to push his curls back.
An employee of the set crew, probably an intern, chokes and coughed out his coffee after hearing Regulus’ answer. A few dropped jaws were seen about the room, including Pandora and Barty. Evan is surprised, but only a little. Dorcas, well she’s about as much of an ‘It Girl’ one can get, with her pouty lips slightly apart and her paused twirling her braids as she turns her head slowly, posture not wavering a millimeter, and looks at Regulus with the most stunned expression he had ever seen.
“Ok, obviously, I didn’t understand it was alcohol at the ripe age of seven and I spit it out once it got into my mouth, the taste was terrible if I remember correctly.”
“How did you even get your hands on alcohol that young?” Evan asks, looking exasperated.
“My cousin asked if I wanted to try some and I thought it was grape juice” He shrugged.
“Cissa! Really you had to give a child wine at such an early age!” Pandora says voice light and endearing, that was one of the things Regulus admired about her, she was unapologetically herself even if she was ‘odd’ or ‘spoke like a child’ or ‘has such creepy facts stored away’ like many had said before, she had never changed, ‘not for anyone but herself’, she had told him long ago.
“Hey, it wasn’t me, wrong cousin.” Narcissa holds her hands up in defense.
“Then who was it?” Dorcas looks pointedly at Regulus.
“It was Andy, actually, and I ended up spitting it out over the white satin table cloth, which Mum and Dad were not too happy about…” Everyone laughs at his joke, even though he was being completely serious and they did give him a good ‘lesson’ for it.
Eventually they move on and do a bit more questions before the director yells cut and bids them farewell, promising they’ll finish it later this week.
***********
September 14, 6:49 P.M
The car slowed to a stop as they pulled into the drive and then clicks from unbuckling seat belts made its way through the car.
They all cross the cobblestone drive and go up the porch steps.
The house is big but very dissimilar to the manor the Blacks had lived in all of Regulus’ childhood. No, this house was warm. There’s a bright red door with a golden knocker, a small garden with flowers and vegetables in the front yard, a lime tree with a worn swing dangling from its branches and a tall glass window with blue shutters and a fresh pot of flowers on its shelf.
So no, this is not Regulus’ family home, but it is Regulus’ family’s home. His chosen family.
This is the humble abode of Alphard, Giuseppe, and Aurora ‘Rori’ Black.
Barty ignores the golden knocker, as always, and knocks with his non-jewelry adorned hand.
It takes only a moment until someone is trudging down the stairs with heavy footsteps and opens the door.
“Dad! Papa! Reg and his friends are here for dinner!” Rori yells over her shoulder.
Rori had been adopted by Giuseppe and Alphard about ten years ago,when she was 4 ½ . Regulus was barely ten and Sirius was eleven going on twelve. They would go over as much as possible when she was little but Walburga banned them from their house for two years because they were “corrupting” her children with their “lifestyle”. Eventually Regulus got back into contact with them when he was thirteen, and she was eight.He ended up living with all of them for three months after he had run away.
They were closer than the blood they shared that runs beneath their skin, they are connected through their hearts. They simply get each other, Rori and Regulus had somewhat developed a brother-sister relationship over the years. Rori would tell him about her crushes, annoying teachers, even just deeper things she had planned to do for her first year of Highschool.
The rest of the band was rather protective of her too, and she would come over to the flat if Giuseppe and Alphard were busy, either practicing her makeup with dorcas, learning her star signs with Pandora, or making ramen– that they burn, which doesn’t seem possible– with Barty and Evan.
Tonight, they were here for their weekly dinner, and Pandora had brought chocolate moose, which Regulus thought would be terrible but was actually quite good.
“Oh, you lot know by now that you don’t need to be invited inside, please come in!” Giuseppe is carrying a bowl of fruit salad to the dining table and his straight brown hair blocks his hazel eyes a bit.
They walk in and all take off their shoes by the door, as Regulus made them because it was simply proper hygiene, having no dirty shoes in the house.
“Dorcas I’m having a crisis” Rori says from the door, closing it behind Evan.
“How can you already be crisis-ing, school only started a couple days ago” Dorcas replies playfully, snagging a piece of watermelon.
“I have absolutely no idea what to be for Halloween”
“Why does that matter? Halloween is like over a month away” Barty is reaching for a piece of the Chocolate moose before Pandora slaps his hand away.
All three girls gape at him.
“Why are you all looking at me like that?”
“Halloween is like the funnest holiday of the year! How do you not plan ahead!” Rori exclaims.
“Funnest isn’t a word…” Regulus grumbles and Pandora slaps his shoulder.
“I dunno,I sort of just do my costume last minute and then go to a bunch of hot people's parties” Barty shrugs.
Rori rolls her eyes at his response and goes to her phone to try and find some example pictures for Dorcas of a few possible costumes.
They end up finishing dinner with easy conversations and warm smiles flowing about. They get tired of the wooden chairs, and move to the sofa in the living room.
Rori is sitting with her legs crossed and her mousy brown hair being braided by Dorcas and her nails being polished by Pandora “So, can I come to your next show?”
“If your parents are okay with you being three hours away with five nineteen year olds” Evan replies, with his blonde hair in between Barty’s fingers and head in his lap. Honestly, how do they think they’re just friends?
Giuseppe and Alphard nod, giving their permission while cleaning up the last few items on the dining table.
“Reg will take take of her, I’m sure”
“Yeah, well it would be a scandal if a minor died by my hand” Regulus rolls his eyes.
“Awww guys he does care!” Pandora smiles and looks up from her spot on the carpet. Regulus throws a small pillow at her in response.
Regulus, although he’d never admit it, is appreciative of these small moments. He never got to have this sense of security as a child, his job took up too much of his time and his Mother’s expectations were so heavy he didn’t have enough space for accidents. He couldn’t afford to mess up so he avoided anything that was risky, even if it meant he wasn’t himself for most of his life, but he’s getting it back– reclaiming what he lost, of some sort.
Eventually the sky got darker and Dorcas doesn’t like to drive in complete darkness so they headed back to the flat.
They made the fatal mistake of letting Barty have control of the aux.
“Why is Jojo Siwa playing at 9 PM at night?” Evan groans from the back seat and he looks out the window.
“1) Time is irrelevant and I think you should be able to enjoy music at all times of the day 2) It’s the deluxe version of Boomerang! How dare you and 3) I do it for attention” Sarcasm drips from his voice during the last “reason” and he bats his eyelashes in the mirror, since he’s sitting in the front seat and can’t look at Evan directly.
Evan ignores him and goes back to looking out the window and the music fills the car, regardless if it’s good or not.
***********
PANDORA
September 15, 9:34 AM
“So, we have our next show tomorrow and we have to be there by 6 PM but our morning and afternoon is pretty much free” Pandora closes the cabinets and fills her glass with Regulus’ Cran-Grape juice.
“Lily is having a few people over and they’re going to drive out to the Forbidden Forest and have like a tailgate thing and do promo pictures there” Dorcas is eating a yogurt and sitting at the island in the kitchen.
“How do you know that? Ooooo are you stalking so you can see dear ol’ Mckinnon again?” Evan teases
“What?! No, Lily texted me and asked if we wanted to tag along, but I didn’t answer because I wasn’t sure. I hate Mar-Mckinnon, why would you even say that!” She swats him with a nearby dish towel.
Evan rolls his eyes and all heads turn to Regulus.
“What, why are people looking at me like that…” He comes back to the conversation, having been previously distracted by his phone.
“Becauseeee you always make the final decisions and I don’t wanna have to think” Barty sometimes acts like he’s still twelve, especially when he’s sleep deprived.
“Yeah sure, as long as Sirius and his groupies aren’t there” Regulus gets up and goes to finish his eyeliner in the mirror beside the door.
“I don’t know, the blonde one is actually an okay guy and the other one- I forget his name Finn?”
“Frank” Evan calls from somewhere
“Yeah, well that guy quit so they had to find a new guy, I haven’t heard of him” Barty continues, gesturing with his vacant hand.
“Well, if Sirius and the moron of a human that is James Potter will be absent then count us in”
“Ok cool, we’ll leave in like an hour or so early though, so we can make it to the venue on time” Pandora cleans her plate and retires to the couch.
They all hum in agreement and continue eating or whatever else they were doing.
*********
LILY
September 15, 10:08 AM
Lily borrows Mary’s maroon truck for the tailgate and they have plenty of food and drinks for a few hours.
Their new photographer, Xenophilius (he goes by Xeno), is also Regulus and the rest of the Emrald Skittles photographer/videographer and has filmed all of their promos for their past album. He’s very nice but also young, only eighteen but Lily can’t judge, she’s only been twenty for a few months.
Ding!
Reg :))
Hey we’re actually going to tag along if that’s okay?
Yes ofc! Get here soon if u wanna ride tho we’re leaving soon xx
Lily’s happy to have Reg and everyone going as well, it’ll make the shoot more of a fun thing rather than work.
“What’re you all smiley about?” Marlene has a cherry lollipop that she keeps switching from her fingers to her red stained lips.
“Regulus and his friends are coming along. I texted Pan a while ago but she wasn’t sure about it, you’ll like them. I know you haven’t met everyone, Marls, but I think you know Dorcas right?”
“Wait Dorcas... y-you mean Dorcas Meadowes?” Her pupils cover her entire eye now and that only confirms Lily’s suspicions, Marlene like-likes Dorcas. Ew don’t ever say like-like again that makes you sound like a seven year old.
“Something wrong, Marlene?” Lily smirks and sees Mary walk out of their front door.
“Um yes, huge problem! She hates my guts!” Marlene has this thing where when she gets passionate while talking she’ll turn her entire body towards the other person and she gets really animated about the topic, it doesn’t even matter if the topic is negative or positive.
“Who hates whose guts?” Mary says and she’s tying a scarf around her curls.
God she’s beautiful. Lily means from a purely objective perspective of course, someone would have to be blind to not recognize Mary’s beauty.
“Dorcas! She absolutely hates me for no reason!”
Mary snorts at that and takes the keys out of her mouth. “Well I’m sure she has a reason, Marls”
“I literally haven’t done anything bad to her! She just hated me from the moment we made eye-contact, I’m serious!”
“Whatever you say, Marls” Lily walks up to Mary and opens her hand expecting the keys.
“What do you think your doing? I’m not lettin’ you near my truck, I’ll drive” Mary grew up in America and moved to London when she was thirteen, she still has a little bit of an accent but it’s mostly neutral. Lily loves when she accidentally lets a y’all or a darlin’ slip. Just because it’s funny, that’s all, no other reasons…
“But you said I could borrow it!” Lily argues
“Fine if you want to try driving it that’s fine, you’ll give up before we hit the highway” Mary shrugs and gives her the keys, opening the passenger side door.
Lily would definitely not give up before the highway, she’s not a quitter.
Xeno rolls down his window from the back “Are we going or not?”
“Yep! One sec, I have to check if they’re meeting us th-”
“”Oh, Lils, Pan called and she said they’re going to meet us by the creek, don’t worry” Mary cuts her off with a reassuring smile and clicks her seatbelt.
“Okay then, let’s get this show on the road! Everyone’s buckled right?” Lily puts the key into the ignition.
“Ugh yes Mum can we go now” Marlene’s voice is a little slurred due to the lollipop in her mouth.
Lily rolls her eyes and pulls out the drive. She can do this. She’ll prove Mary wrong and they’ll be fine.
She hits a curb, Woah okay, maybe not fine hm? This voice sounds a lot like Petunia’s Shut up, we’re fine, see? No one died.
She grips the steering wheel until her knuckles turn white, but they get to the freeway.
“Lils? Are you doin’ okay?” Mary gives her a concerned look from Lily’s right.
“Yep, I’m doing just fine actually” She grits out.
Mary rolls her eyes, and goes back to staring out the open car window.
“Lily! Stop swerving, you're making me nauseous!” Marlene complains from the back, and rightfully so because she looks a little green.
“You try driving a vehicle that’s 3 ½ feet off the ground! It’s hard” Lily bites back, but doesn’t look– too afraid she’ll hit something if she breaks concentration.
Mary chuckles and Xeno gives a small smirk.
They eventually make it to the creek without getting into an accident or pulled over.
********
DORCAS
Xeno gets his gear from the bed of the truck and the girls are busy scoping out which place they should film first.
“Hey guys! Look who’s here!” Mary yells under the shade of a tree.
Barty jumps down from the car while yanking on Evan’s hand. Regulus and Pandora get out evidently with more elegance than the former duo and Dorcas is already waving at four behind her so they can get started.
Lily is the first to greet, as always and she takes her time hugging each of them (even Regulus because no one can resist a Lily Hug for long). Lily hugs Dorcas last and the thing about Lily is that she’s always warm. Everything about her is, her hugs, her smile, even her voice for heaven’s sake. She never loses her freckles, even in the depths of winter, and is one of the best people Dorcas knows, truly. Lily is if spring was a person. She doesn’t know what anyone would do if the world lost the lovely Lily Evans.
“Don’t worry guys! The party has arrived and we can really get things started!” Evan shoves Barty so hard that he staggers a few steps. “Ow Evan! You wound me with your sudden acts of violence!” annoying Evan is one of Barty’s favorite past-times, and Evan is so used to it that he just rolls his eyes in response.
“Okay so where are we thinking of starting?” Xeno sneaks a shy look at Pandora after he speaks, which the latter doesn’t catch but Dorcas sure does.
“Maybe by that little stream, there’s a lot of natural light over there” Marlene’s tongue is stained red, surely from some type of candy.
No one says anything but they all walk over to where Marlene’s finger had pointed.
“Okay, so how’re we going to do this?” Regulus is right behind Mary, who are both already at the aforementioned place for the shoot.
Xeno sets up his camera without looking up when he responds “I was thinking maybe we could have one of them in the stream?”
Lily raises her hand. “I’ll do it! I don’t mind if I get this dress a little dirty, I’ve had it forever.” She toes off her shoes and socks and steps into the water.
“Maybe we could have Marlene in that tree to the right of Lily?” Pandora suggests.
Dorcas sees Regulus, Pandora, and Xeno all discussing who should go where and then Barty and Evan being so enraptured in one another without the other’s knowledge. Eventually she gets bored of watching them and turns her head back to the stream. The sight of Marle–Mckinnon she corrects herself, pulling herself up a tree with muscles popping through her overalls and shirt was not what Dorcas was expecting to see when looking over.
Dorcas does not lose her breath at the sight of it. She certainly doesn’t gape like and idiot when Marlene succeed in lifting herself almost nine feet off the ground and she definitely did not flush when Marlene found and returned her stare with even more hunger than Dorcas.
Marlene pulls the sucker’s stick from between her teeth and puts it between her fingers. “ See something you like Meadowes?”
Dorcas glares daggers at her so sharp they’d cut through steel.
“Don’t flatter yourself, I was just looking at the tree for so long I lost my focus.”
“Ah, so you admit you were staring then?” She smirks a little and then runs her fingers through her shaggy hair.
“Wow, you can’t even comprehend a full sentence. I said I was looking at the tree, not you.” She says the last word with so much emphasis it leaves a bitter taste in her mouth.
Marlene holds her arms up in surrender. “Okay fine, whatever you say babe”
Dorcas’ brain snags on that last word. Babe. That's a term of endearment, something you call someone you care about, someone you love.
That’s weird of her to say then, they don’t even like each other, much less love.
She tries to forget it, she really does but that word doesn’t leave her mind. She can’t stop picturing Marlene’s red stained lips shaping the word, the way her voice had said it so purposefully.
The day goes on and the sun starts getting higher and higher in the sky.
“Mary, can you look a little to your left please?” Regulus waves his hand in the said direction.
She does and Dorcas trips over a twig when trying to walk over to Barty and Evan. Marlene bursts out laughing and throws her head back which means she was watching Dorcas.
“I think we got it!!” Xeno yells looking down at his camera.
Lily jumps out of the water and everyone else crowds the camera.
Dorcas doesn’t know why she does, but she waits for Marlene to jump down from the tree before walking over.
“Aww you waited for me?” Marlene pouts her lip.
Dorcas pays her “no mind” as her mother would say. She simply rolls her eyes and tries to get a better look at the picture.
“Oh my god Xeno, that looks amazing!” Pandora stares in awe at him with a small, genuine small upon her lips. Dorcas notices, but doesn’t comment–yet that is, she’ll probably work it out of Pandora on the ride home.
The picture does look amazing, he happened to take it exactly when Marlene had her head thrown back in laughter, Lily had bent down and run her hands through the water and Mary had her head looked toward the left with an excited expression on her face.
Everyone praised Xeno for his brilliance and then Barty and Evan ran to get the drinks.
“Let’s celebrate!” Evan holds up cooler and Barty has multiple sodas for people that would prefer sobriety.
They each grab a beverage and find a spot in the bed of Mary’s crimson truck.
Easy conversation flows and soon they’re all laughing.
Turns out, Marlene is actually a really funny person. She’s very witty and her humor matches Dorcas’ so well she’s never not laughing.
A phone ringing tears Dorcas from her laughter and bends to pick it up, as she’s the closest to it.
“Oh, that’s mine. Who is it?” Marlene takes a sip from her drink
Dorcas' smile drops clean off her face as she reads the name.
Sirius 🐾
Dorcas doesn’t respond, she hands Marlene the phone and looks the other way as she goes to take the call somewhere else.
This was the day that Dorcas almost forgot what it was like to hate Marlene Mckinnon.
Almost.