“Oh, morning Scorpia!” Minerva caught up with her in the hall, on their way to the Great Hall. “Have you seen the two? Just let me complain for a second. He started a fire in my class, fire ! They were playing with dungbombs during transfiguration ! I mean, their first important exam in this year, they have to prepare for O.W.L., I will not be going kind with them just because of Harry!”
Scorpia listened carefully. There was so much affection in the woman’s voice, it was clear. Entering the Hall, finally replied, “Oh, Minerva, I think they will be fine. Those are just kids, I know they will pass. Even if they don’t study, it’s a thing that comes natural to some people. Remember how Sirus and Jame…” she trailed off, her eyes falling on Harry the exact same moment. They were so similar in appearance, but not exactly in behavior. Scorpia often wondered what would have happened to the little green-eyed version of James, if his parents would be here. For now, Harry was just the result of Petunia and whatever that husband of hers was named. No matter what, she loved him, of course. The boy looked back at her and smiled, still chewing up the pumpkin pie.
Minerva seemed to let her unfinished phrase slide, and as they made their way to the teachers table, the conversation already went a different path.
It was a great day. It was raining outside, the gloomy and wet weather being repeated under the ceiling in the Great Hall. Oh, how Scorpia loved this place. The Great Hall, the library, the black lake(totally not named after Bella and her friends purposely spilled an incredible amount of black ink as their last-year prank). And just… Hogwarts, in general. It was her first home ever. She learnt who she could be, how people are different, and how they all had different childhoods, loving or abusive families, rich or poor parents. How magic worked to protect yourself, how magic worked to protect your loved ones. How magic changes throughout the years, and how to use the old one. She learned she could smile and laugh whenever she wanted, she learned she could do or say as she wished. There were no grumpy elves there, no yelling adults. There were your friends.
Your other family.
The family she still had there, though, consisted of her sisters. Well, cousins, technically. However with time, the line between sisters, cousins and best friends became so blurry you couldn’t see it at all. Bella was in her third year when she and Andy first stepped into the castle. Just 4 years later Narcissa joined them. Scorpia loved Slytherin. Although, she was a hat stall. While the poor thing on hear head struggled to choose between Ravenclaw and Slytherin, the young girl was minding her own business, looking around at all the different kids, noting new hairstyles, and trying to memorize every flick and ornament on the walls of the Great Hall to tell her brothers. Not that she would send them a letter. Sirius could already read, obviously, he was turning 5 this autumn(The thought of missing his birthdays always made Scorpi sad back then. At least she got to be there for Regulus’). But she would rather wait until the next holiday break to come home and tell him everything herself. It was better that way.
Her and Bella were considered best friends. Close from her birth. She was older than Scorpia by just one year, though because of the latter’s birthday, they got separated in Hogwarts in such a way. They stopped talking by that time, anyway.
Her and Bella were considered best friends. They were always together, “as if under an unbreakable , it’s quite fascinating”, Druella would sometimes say to Walburga. And it was true. They grew up together. At 5-6 years old they tortured rabbits in the backyard, then sat down before the big hallway mirror to make each other’s hair. They would test new cutting and destroying spells on each other, or on each other's stuff. They would go swim in the lake, drown fish together or help snails get under the big floppy leaves. They had fun. They cried together. They were sisters.
And then her maman got pregnant with Sirius. They moved from their family mansion to an old apartment at Grimmauld 12, completely out of the blue. Young Scorpia didn’t get it, of course. Why is it so, why is it that she had to leave her best friend behind, moving into darkness and secrets and the loud streets, oh those loud streets.
Bella, or “Etrix” as Scorpi would call her when they were little, hated her. She started being ignorant just some time before their moving out date. The girls started fighting more and more, casting the very same cutting spells they had learned together before. Nothing came out of the duels, obviously, as they knew each other way too well. So they started killing with words.
As Scorpia had to find out, it did hurt more. Much more.
As soon as Sirius was born, though, all the previous troubles seemed to fade away. She loved the crying piece of red skin wrapped in that sheet. No, she didn’t love it, she worshiped it. The girl asked Walburga to move the boy in the room in front of her right away. Their mother was reluctant at first, but ended up not caring much. She always “not cared much” when it came to Scorpia. Scorpia wasn’t sure if it was a good or a bad thing. Or rather, she was convinced it was a bad thing, before she found out how much it would hurt if she actually did care about you. With Sirius.
Walburga mostly used Silencio on the kid, sending Kreacher to the room to deal with him. Scorpia always showed up, too, trying to help the elf. The girl didn’t understand how kids worked, and she was still confused about the right way to approach him. She knew there was a weird tingling feeling towards her Brother, but knew no name for it. Her and Kreacher didn’t exactly build a great relationship, and the girl was still sad about leaving her favorite (and only) elf at the previous home. Tanty was her second friend after Bella. She used to look out for the little girls, more than their moms did throughout their childhood. But she tried to help Kreacher with what she could, carrying the boy around when he became too heavy for the old elf.
Then Regulus was born. That was the moment she found it. Love.
That’s what it was called. She heard Andromeda tell her how she loved her new little sister, Narcissa (who she cutely named Cissy). They talked about love for hours then, until Bellatrix came to scoff at them, and hurry them both to go clean the room before Druella gets back.
So, Love. She now realized what it meant. She always knew how it felt, but never knew what it meant. Scorpia spent all her time with her brothers, watching Sirius’ first steps from Kreacher, Regulus first bubbling and mixing up “Iri” and “Copi” into one name. She taught them silly magic while their parents wouldn’t see, read them scary books from their library, and always protected them before Bella or other annoying cruel relatives.
Her mind slowly wandered back from the past, switching to the present. It’s not like Scorpia was old, although 44 years of age is way not little, but she felt ancient . The way her reality and traditions in the family during her childhood slowly switched to her own young and risky life with her husband during the war, to this… “time period of changes”, as Minerva once said.
Thinking about all that, she caught her eyes roaming through the Slytherin table. She would expect to see Andromeda, laughing at something her friend said, throwing her head back. She would expect to see Regulus, smiling out of the corner of his lips while watching Evan and Barty (her and Reg made up a name LoyalThorns for those two, to refer as a pair) food fight. She would expect to see Draco staring into space, sitting still as a plain.
And now, when her eyes finally found him, she did not see what she would expect. Instead of looking peaceful, – even bored –, he looked stressed. Her brows furrowed as she put her fork down. This was not right.
Scorpia watched him get up and rush to the entrance, then glance back, looking at the teachers table. He looked right at the headmaster, without making eye contact, and started walking away again. Was he planning something? Something forbidden? But he always broke the rules, it was almost an everyday habit. How big should it be, for him to worry as much, and give it away by looking at the teachers table? Was it a distraction of some kind? That would make sense. Searching for what he could be distracting them from, she noticed Harry.
And that’s when Draco saw him, too.
And that’s when Scorpia realized it’s no prank.
She leaped up from her seat, following the almost running boys. This was no good, oh how was this no good. Draco was having a panic attack of a sort (how stupid was she to not understand it from the first sight? It was so obvious! Is it her age starting to show, or did she just become more ignorant to psychology?), and Harry was far from the right person to be there. They might look similar, but he’s not James. Oh, James…
She made her way through the crowd, keeping Harry in sight. The halls slowly cleared, leaving her alone, running after the boys who changed directions any time there was a turn available. At the final one, Scorpia knew it was the boys loo they were heading. It means she was not allowed there. And that stands on the way.
As soon as she caught up with them, she stood next to the door, listening. If Harry is about to harm Draco who’s having a panic attack, surely she could walk in? Or, what it would sound like later in Dumbledore’s office, “It was the safety concern of our students”. Hopefully, she won’t talk to Dumbledore at all.
Hearing the first spells get fired, Scorpia’s legs moved automatically, entering the door, ignoring all and any rules. “Harry!”, she yelled, sending a protection shield in the air between the boys. Whoever it would save is good. Her dress started to become wet at the poles, making her squirm, but never stopped moving towards the boys.
“Harry, for Merlin’s sake, enough!”
“Sectumsempra!”
Oh mon dieu.
If a 6th year student is casting a spell Scorpia doesn’t know… Considering it’s Harry, he could not know what the spell meant at all, or even make it up a second ago.
She moved fast. It couldn’t be a killing spell, surely, the Unforgivable was glued in her mind securely, and it was a hundred percent the only thing able to kill fast. She had time, but how much? Seconds? The woman finally saw Harry slowly making his way through the little passageway, and pushing him aside - maybe a bit more harder than needed - ran towards Draco.
He was on the floor, covered in blood. It seemed like all his wounds he ever had, had opened and started bleeding, bleeding at such a speed it was dangerous. He had two minutes, maybe less. She quickly tried a normal blood-stopping spell with her wand, which helped, only for everything to return back mere seconds after. She circled the boy and landed on her knees in front of him, throwing her wand aside into the water, which now started to fill up fast. Her hands roamed over Draco, thinking of all the enchantments she could use. There were severe ones, but nothing helpful came into mind. Until the moment she realized to switch up the spell. It didn’t always work, and it was hard magic, but if the spell is personal-made, she could have a chance. Scorpia started from Arpmesmutces, rearranging letters and throwing away the ones that didn’t feel helpful.
Harry watched as the woman whispered different spells using wandless magic from afar. He didn’t know what to do. He just… Hurt… Almost killed Draco? Should he run? Ah, why, always the coward you are, to run. Well, if you can’t face it and help fix…— Fix?! How? Not like I know what to do anyway, now I’m only here to watch him suffer. Also a very cowardly thing to do.
The blood seemed to stop, and Draco stopped wriggling on the floor. Scorpia absent-mindedly placed a hand under the boy’s head to stop it from hitting the marble floor, and looked up. If her killing look wasn’t enough to make Harry run, her words were. “Harry. Enough. Go now.” He started slowly backing out, his eyes still locked on Malfoy. “Into my office, not to the tower,” she dangerously added, tilting her head just slightly. He looked at her for the last time, and left.
“Draco,” Scorpia could finally exhale, removing the murderous look off her face, “Hey, look at me.” His eyes were running around, still unfocused from everything that just happened: he shut them closed, and she took it as a sign to continue. “Are you okay? Can you speak, move? Does anything hurt?” Scorpia didn’t know what the spell was, and how it worked. She would guess it was stopped, but what if there was internal or psychological impact? Although, no, psychological impact is always present.
He tried to nod, but winced at the movement. His head was probably throbbing with pain still. He tapped her hand that was hovering over his shoulder, once. The woman froze.
Is this a coincidence? Please tell me it’s a coincidence. Oh, gosh, please, I would kill her…
One tap meant a “yes”. It could be used as “I’m okay”, and was normally practical in the Black’s family. It went through ages before, always meaning the same thing. She didn’t know when it started, nor who created it. Just a habit, if someone is hurt and they can’t speak, or in her brother’s case is under a Silencio, it would be used as a way to communicate safely. It was a way around, a secret. Kids used it. Bella used it once, when they sat together at a gathering, and Cygnus silently cast a painful spell on her for leaving her elbows on the table. Scorpia noticed it, and looked at her in concern. Bella tapped her knee once. Scorpia turned back to her food, back then.
Now, it’s either Narcissa taught it to him just “in case”, to just have it in his mind for any future communication with the pureblood families. She hoped that was the reason. It better be. She wouldn’t want to think about him actually using it. But it was way too suspicious, the way he did it in the stressful situation without thinking. Lucius… If he did… No, they were much more modern than any other families when she grew up, and if there is any chance Narcissa let her kid be beaten up to the point where he can’t speak and needs to tap out,
she’s dead.
Well, that was something to worry about later. He’s okay, he is clearly not, but it isn’t like he would tell . “Okay, it’s alright. Harry left, just so you know.” He probably wouldn’t be able to tell. He probably would have his mind clouded anyway, but the feeling of being seen by someone you don’t want to see is always there, she knew it. So she made sure to ease it immediately. “What happened? Why are you here, love?”
He opened his eyes and stared at her blankly. They were blue. But Narcissa’s eyes were green. His hair was white. But Narcissa’s hair was blonde. His facial expressions were his father’s. His face lines were his father’s. His eyes, his hair were his father’s.
His soul is his mother’s, she knew it.
Scorpia raised her eyebrows at him, corners of her mouth springing up ever so slightly. He shut his eyes back again, tears starting to pour with new strength. “Hey,” she whispered, moving her hands around and taking him into her lap, cradling the back of his head to her chest. He is almost 17. When did that happen, how did that happen? Why does everyone’s life get ruined at that age? She had to leave the only two people she loved in the world, Regulus had to get…
Oh.
No.
It couldn’t have been it.
No.
Please no, no way.
“Draco. Draco, wait, no, show me your arm.” She pulled away a little, giving him space to sit up in the water sprawling around them. She reached for her wand with her mind, and as soon as it was in her hand, she made sure to put it away. That was a stupid move to do, Scorpi, you just asked him the question he fears the most and then called for your wand. You’re the worst.
And yes, right. Fear. She need not pull away, as he jumped up himself. Still struggling to speak, he tried to crawl away, “None of your business”, he spat, his voice not showing any of the emotions on his face. Good job with your voice, we’ll work on emot…— What the actual hell. That was her first thought, really? It was upsetting. Reminded of the wish to help James hide away his sensitive self in the first months once she met him.
He was playing pure-blood nonsense. Scorpia didn’t want to, she really didn’t, but automatically switched into it. “Oh, but I think it is. Who else is in here from your family? Who understands how it was in that house? Who knows the struggle? Who you can trust? Because I somehow don’t see anyone.”
“Understand?! You don’t understand me, you know nothing about how it is!” he yelled right back, reaching for his wand in his pocket. Normally she would just levitate it from him, seconds ago, when she first saw the thought of magic on his face. But it would only make him more vulnerable right now, resulting in closing up even more. If he would cast a spell, she would be ready. Before that, let him give the illusion of protection. Although, no, he was safe with her, at the end of the day.
“Of course I don’t”, she rolled her eyes at him, shaking her head in sarcasm. “And why is that?”
She wouldn’t give him ideas. After all, she’s not arguing. She’s playing. She is thinking of her every word, and how it would provoke him to…—
“ YOU DON’T! You have no idea how it feels living in that house, where they make you wish to die from pain after every wrong word, they make you pretend to be okay and happy and free as if you’re not a fucking murderer , they make you kill, and torture, and they don’t care about other people, they don’t care about you, they only care about themselves, and some even don’t, some only care for their lord , they make you cry yourself to sleep every fucking night, make you dread to come home every holiday, make you hate Christmas, and your birthday, because it means coming closer and closer to the day, they tell you you’re useless and pathetic, they hate, they despise you, they threaten to kill you if you don’t kill, and.. and…–” Draco stoped yelling, and fell to his knees, tears streaming down his face. Scorpia was there in a second, hugging him again, trying to both help him feel safe and warm up. The water on the floor turned cold in no time. “Hey, just breathe,” she reminded, fully getting him into her lap, rocking back and forth in the dark bathroom. He didn’t protest, didn’t try to run away or hide. He just broke , sobbing. And, oh… How much he felt like Regulus in her arms. Like the young boy, the kid sitting on the floor in her bedroom, dissociating, scratching his arm enough to draw blood, saying Sorry, I’m sorry, I don’t want it over and over again. But that was a different story.
Scorpia realized herself crying, too, and made sure to wipe the wetness off her face before anyone noticed it. Not that Draco would. She started to become concerned for him at this point, his breathing was still erratic and the tears would not stop. The woman shifted so he would have more space to inhale, and took his left arm in her hands. Scorpia didn’t have to see it to know, of course she didn’t. Moreover, she didn’t want to see it. But she wanted to protect him, to love him, to make him realize the world is not over. That it is scary, and it’s normal to be scared. He shouldn’t go through this alone. Wrapping his arm carefully, sharing the warmth from her hands on the place he hated the most.
“Draco, breathe, please. I know it hurts, I do,” she whispered, still rocking in place, holding him close, “I’m not asking you to calm down, I’m asking you to breathe.” She made the decision to speak, to have something for him to anchor on, “It’s scary, I know. I’m also scared for you. But I’m here, you don’t have to go through this alone,” she swallowed, “All those things you said. Please don’t think I never knew how it felt. We all did. Unfortunately, that’s how a childhood in the toujours pur looks like. Don’t let yourself think you’re alone, not even for the tiniest second. Your… What is it, uncle? Gosh. Regulus Arcturus Black, I bet Narcissa still talks about him sometimes. She should. He helped her achieve her biggest dream. Do you know what her biggest dream was? It was you, Draco. She wished to get pregnant since the very first night I had her crying in my bedroom about how horrible her Mother was. See, another broken soul. We are many. Regulus, he was a potioneer. They made him get the mark after he turned 17, I think they were afraid of him running away like Sirius. But he wouldn’t, he was way too bent under them, barely holding on. And you must have heard about Sirius, right? I don’t think Ci…Narcissa likes him much. He was “the heir”, he had way too many expectations on him to match his character. He didn’t break. He always stood his ground, through anything and everything. When they told him to take the mark, he refused and ran away. I wasn’t there then, so it broke me, too. I lived seven years in the family before my brothers were even born. I know how it feels, I know what they expect from you. Please, Draco, just open. You know what it means. I need you, I couldn’t save Regulus, I need you…” She was crying into his hair. That was bad. There was no place for her tears right now, it was meant to be all about him. Gosh. And selfish, outright selfish. You couldn’t save Regulus, doesn’t mean you have to project your own emotions on him, come on. You know better than that.
Why is it so hard not to talk about him forever, then? Why is it so hard not to cry every night?
“I’m sorry, I wasn’t supposed to cry,” Scorpia smiled slightly, as her words caused Draco to look up through his own tears, in surprise. Has he never seen adults cry? But then, probably not. “So. You have the mark. You can’t do anything about it, too late. I know it’s scary, I know. It’s meant to be. Hold onto something. Something you love. Just stay here, I swear, living is worth it. You will have many great memories. Let’s hear this - the war won’t go forever. And no matter how “immortal” Voldemort is”, of course she noticed how he flinched at his name, “he won’t live forever, I promise you that. No one had ever lived forever, and even if he goes onto his 200s, there won’t be war. It just doesn’t work like that, alright? It will end sooner or later. Now, what you do during the war might determine your future after it ends. I used to torture squirles in the backyard one day, and look where it got me. I’m an official professor in one of the most popular schools of magic. I’m not in Azkaban. From what you said earlier, and I’m sorry because I know I can’t ask that, but I have to - who is it you have to kill?”
That would be funny if he said “you” right now, wouldn’t it?
His eyes widened as he scrambled away. So it’s bad. Not a classmate or so. But then, what kind of thought is it? Does killing a classmate not count as a murder, Scorpi?His breathing just barely got back to normal, now getting ruined all over again. Great.
The boy looked at her, stunned.
“Let me guess, I wasn’t supposed to know? Well, of course. But, Draco, think about this, if you would have anyone know and be able to help you, would you rather have… Bella? Snape? Dumbledore?”
He flinched again.
Like he flinched when she said Voldemort.
But surely it couldn’t have been… Have been… The principal, right?
Would they give such a task to a boy?
“Apparently,” he eyed her dangerously, still keeping distance. His words didn’t make sense, until Scorpia realized she had said her last thought aloud.
“No,” Scorpia furrowed her brows, slumping back down into the water on the floor.
Honestly, where was her wand? Reaching for it in her pocket, she cleaned all the water from the floor. She then got up, and started to dry her dress. Anything to occupy her mind. Anything but the cruelty of reality.
“I’ll dry you off, alright?” she gave the little warning before casting a spell on the boy in front of her. He still had his eyes locked on her the whole time, looking stunned by the sudden mood switch. “We’re going into my office now, so you can properly yell at the idiot, – by whom I mean Potter, – and then we send him away and talk about what in the world this means, okay? I need time to think.”
“Doesn’t exactly look like I have much choice”, he spat after a few seconds of silence. She started walking away, noticing him fix a mirror. She smiled. “I’m glad you accepted my offer to talk about it.”
“Sure,” he replied in the same sarcastic tone, raising his eyebrows at the back of her head.