Bejeweled

Bellatrix was at the infirmary first thing the following morning. The Sun was hardly peaking through the windows, and the few students occupying beds scattered around the room were probably asleep behind the white curtains that surrounded their beds. Bellatrix peaked through the curtains one by one until she found him, eyes already open. 

“Hi,” he smiled tiredly, but his gaze was fond. “You’ve never visited me here before.” 

“We have to talk,” she said firmly, but quietly as she took a seat in the chair next to him. She took out her wand and did a quick silencing spell around them so they wouldn’t be overheard. She was angry with him, disgusted by him, but she wasn’t trying to ruin his life by accidentally letting someone hear something they shouldn’t. 

Remus frowned at her tone. “Is something wrong?” 

Even though Bellatrix had spent most of the night laying in her bed, she hadn’t actually slept at all. Instead, she’d been thinking of how this might go. All the things she might say. What exactly she was upset by. Was it because he hadn’t told her? Or simply because he was a werewolf? 

And how exactly was she supposed to bring it up? Hint at her suspicions and give him a chance to fess up? Somehow trap him into an admission? She thought of a million ways the conversation could go, but in the early morning light what actually happened was she simply stated, “You’re a werewolf,” in an empty tone. 

The spark in his eyes dulled, and he moved his gaze to her shoulder as if he couldn’t look at her face anymore. “I am,” he confirmed without emotion. 

Bellatrix didn’t know what she expected to feel, but the reality was sick to her stomach. He really was one of those horrible creatures. Worse than mudbloods and muggles! A creature that mindlessly murdered indiscriminately! 

But as she looked at his face, horror painted on hers, all she saw was her Remus. Her Remus…that was a mask, hiding a monster. 

Was it possible that this felt worse than hearing the Dark Lord? It was that same sickening sense of betrayal. 

He finally looked up to meet her eyes, to see her reaction, and what he found looked like it drained him of life. He sank back into the pillows like it wasn’t worth it to hold himself up anymore.  

Bellatrix turned and ran. 

~ 

Remus felt….nothing. He felt absolutely nothing. Completely numb. His curse had taken yet another thing from him. 

Bellatrix had made him so happy. She was so fun to be around, amazing to talk to, and genuinely trying to work through her blood supremacist views. Spending time with her always made his day better. Of course, he still had a crush on her, but he was working on that. She didn’t need him pining after her when she was going through so much; processing that a man almost twice her age had groomed her, and that her family had raised her to believe some truly horrible things. He was trying so hard to simply be a good friend to her, and to push down his feelings so deep they shriveled and died from the pressure. But now it didn’t even matter. 

He’d lost her. 

The look on her face would haunt him for the rest of his life. The horror, the disgust. The disappointment. 

She’d been disappointed by so many people in her life lately. Her family, her friends, the man she thought she loved. And now Remus. After everything, he’d still let her down. 

He hated himself. 

His friends slipped off the invisibility cloak. They’d thrown it on the second they’d heard someone snooping through the different curtains looking for someone, Peter turning into a rat so they’d all three fit. 

“That was…rough,” James sighed. 

“I’ll talk to her,” Sirius volunteered, taking a step after her. 

“No,” Remus said, his voice sounding distant to his own ears. “Don’t bother her.” 

“Bother her?!” Sirius exploded. “After what she just did? Look, I was going to be nice about it for you, Moony, but after what she just did she deserves to be a bit fucking bothered! You’ve been nothing but nice to her, giving her way more chances than she’s ever deserved, and then she does that?! She’s a terrible fucking person and always will be!” 

“You don’t know her,” Remus glared up from his bed. “She’s changed.” 

“I know you’ve said that,” James spoke up diplomatically, “but there’s something you should know. Tell ‘im, Wormtail.” 

Peter, now back as a human, stepped forward nervously. “Well, um…I was walking past some Slytherins in the corridor about a week ago, and I, um, well, I heard her say that-that she couldn’t wait for the day when she wouldn’t have to deal with muggle borns anymore.” 

Even though he thought he was already at his lowest, he felt his heart drop. “But…but she said ‘muggle borns’ not the other word,” he insisted. 

“It doesn’t matter!” Sirius exclaimed. “She’s not a good person, and she just proved it! If she cares about you then she shouldn’t give a shit that you’re a werewolf!” Sirius reached out and rested his hand on Remus’s shoulder. “I’m sorry, Moony, I really am.” 

Remus rolled his head so he was looking away from his friends. “Just go. I should get some sleep.” 

He could hear his friends hesitate, but after a moment they started moving, each giving him a pat on the shoulder as they passed. Then he was alone.